Queen Anne's Lace
Hmmm...
Wattle leaves
Willow leaves
Mmmm....
Pomegranate
Pennyroyal
Date palms
Arabic gum
and my personal favorite
Crocodile shit!
What do all of these have in common?
Well, the guys are going, "Huh?"
The girls are going, "I know where's he going."
Just check out that snazzy
new background I did.
Yep.
These are all the ways -
one of many -
several of many, many ways -
that women in the ancient world
practiced birth control.
And now in the state of Louisiana,
they no longer have control
of their wombs.
Yes.
The state of Louisiana -
just like all those heartbeat bills
at twelve or fifteen of them
across the country.
What is it with Evangelicals
and wanting to control
women's wombs?
Say that five times fast.
Control women's wombs.
Control women's wombs.
Control --
Cuz they are!
Right?
And the state of Louisiana,
they passed a new law
which is - does this little
fancy trick
and forces doctors
to get admitting privileges
at nearby hospitals.
Right.
But which means that
they'll just not -
if they want to offer abortions
then, of course, it's oh...
It's only for the...
we're just looking out
for the health of the women.
Right?
When, in fact, it's just
a snazzy little trick
to drop the number of clinics from -
well, it was something like -
eleven in 2001,
and now it's down to
five or three
depending on who's counting -
and it will probably
drop it to just one.
One for the entire state
of Louisiana.
And that's what they're thinking.
Spread across -
if it works for Louisiana,
it can work for Texas.
It can work for Mississippi.
It can work for Georgia.
It can work for South Carolina
and Tennessee.
Just like - all those states
across the Deep South -
Alabama! -
one clinic each.
Maybe only one clinic
at all.
After all, North Dakota's
got that, right?
Yeah.
What is it with them?
What is it with these Evangelicals?
And why are they doing this?
Well...
They're led by the new
breed of Evangelicals.
It all started with Ralph Reed, right?
One of the Four Horsemen
of the New Apocalypse!
His..vision of...
once again, Christians -
this country will be governed
by Christians.
As if that's a good thing.
And then we have -
why, he's the rational one!
We have Tony Perkins.
Right?
Head of the Faith and Freedom Coali --
Sorry! The Family Research Council.
And he's, he's uh...
Oh, what does he say?
He says that, uh,
The only thing in the middle of the road
is yellow stripes and dead animals.
Right?
Clearly, a man you want -
who's interested in compromise
when it comes to controlling
a women's womb.
And then we have...
Billy Graham the Third
or, as he likes to style himself,
Franklin Graham.
A man who said, "You know" -
Oh, right!
Remember Tony Perkins?
How he said that, uh...
"We're giving Trump a Mulligan
on Stormy Daniels"?
So, does Billy Graham the Third.
"Yeah! Give him a Mulligan
on Stormy Daniels.
It doesn't matter!"
And Brett Kavanaugh...
the serial assaulter
and liar before Congress
"Oh! That happened forty years ago.
It doesn't really matter."
Hey, Billy!
What does your daughter Jane
think about that?
Huh?
Would you let her be in a room
behind a closed door
with Brett Kavanaugh
for an hour?
I think not.
And then we have...oh...
Jerry Falwell, Jr
following in the footsteps
of his father as he runs
Liberty University.
And he says he's just honestly
impressed with how Trump
treats others.
Which makes me want to tell
every young Christian that I meet -
particularly if she's got a vagina -
go to Liberty U!
Cuz you'll be treated
very well there!
Yes!
Why do they give Trump a Mulligan?
These are some of the same voices
that were screaming for
Bill Clinton's blood
twenty years ago.
My, how times change!
Because he got a handful
of blowjobs in the Oval Office.
As if these,
the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse
would turn a girl down
if she offered him -
offered them -
a blowjob in the Oval Office.
I know I'd be thinking
seriously about it.
Anyway!
Yes, it all has to do with SCOTUS, right?
Judges.
They want Roe v Wade.
Now, I know it's been
settled law of the land
for seventy years.
But, they've really got
a bee in their bonnet about it.
And now that they've got their
bad boy Brett
on the court, they think that
if they put a test case like this,
or a test case in Ohio,
or a test case someplace else,
and work it up to the Supreme Court
they can finally overturn
Roe v Wade.
And that new New York law
which basically codifies
at the state level
what Roe v Wade already says
at the federal law - federal level
just drives them
absolutely insane!
Yes!
So.
Will it happen?
I think.
I think not.
I think that Chief Justice John Roberts
is thinking a lot more about
Rober - Roger Taney
than he is about
Planned Parenthood
or Roe v Wade.
You remember Taney?
Of course! He's dinner table
conversation, right?
The most vilified chief justice
in the United States.
Who authored the Dred Scott decision
in 1857, something like that.
Right.
He, uh, where he said, basically,
Blacks have no federal standing
to sue in federal court.
Which is a gentle, legalese
way of saying,
"You ain't got no rights.
If you're Black."
And he is hated for it.
Vilified for it, at least.
John Roberts does not want
to be that, in history.
So, what is it with Evangelicals?
Why do they want your sex
so much ?
Abortions are dropping.
Right across the nation.
Year by year.
Is it something else?
I mean they say
they just want to prevent
unplanned pregnancies.
If that's the case,
then why do they make
the pill so difficult
to find?
To get to?
I mean...
you can get
chewing gum in this country
more easily than you
can get the pill.
And chewing gum
gives you tooth decay.
You can get chewing tobacco
which gives you cancer
of the mouth
more easily than you can
get the pill.
You can even get beef jerky
with its carbon footprint
drowning this world in carbon dioxide
more easily than you can get the pill.
What is that?
Is it something to do
with sex?
Sex.
Why do they want your womb?
Why do they want your sex,
so badly?
Is it?
Do they have a problem
with us all being
bag of pus?
You know, that's what humans are
with our own internal scaffolding
keeping us upright.
Are they afraid of goo?
No.
I think...
I think it's control.
I think they grew up watching
their great-grandaddys
their grandaddys
and their dads
or -- order women around like
their servants.
And they want to do the same.
They think they should be
able to tell you want you can do
with your womb.
How is this going to play out?
Well.
We can either start
shoving crocodile shit
up our vaginas.
Or...
maybe it's time for the ladies
to speak out on this one.
After all...
Eleanor
Roosevelt
used to say,
"No one can oppress you
without your approval."
How about it, ladies?
Time to speak up?
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