Hi, everyone!
It's time for Ask Ashley.
That's me!
I'm Ashley and I'm here to answer your letters.
Our first letter comes from Burton Ebger of Las Vegas, Nevada.
Burton writes, Dear Ashley...
That's me!
Dear Ashley, I really love hot chocolate,
but every time I try to drink hot chocolate
it always drips through my fingers.
I can barely hold it in my hands, and it burns too.
What should I do?
Burton, here's a little advice.
Use a stinkin' cup!
A cup, you cocoa-headed freak!
I mean, what kind of beverage drinking weirdo pours
scolding hot liquid into his bare stinkin' hands?
Man!
Our next letter comes from...
Willy Cumbra of Mill Valley, California.
Willy writes, Dear Ashley...
That's me!
Dear Ashley, I've been holding my breath for a real long time.
My face is turning blue and I'm starting to feel all dizzy.
I think I might faint.
Could you please give me some advice quickly?
Well Willy, I think I know how to solve your lack of air problem.
Take a stinkin' breath!
Breathe, moron!
And when you finally decide to open your stinkin' mouth,
fly on over to Las Vegas,
and blow on Burton Ebger's hot coco-filled hands!
Man!
Our next letter comes from...
[door knocking]
Um, come in.
Are you Ashley?
Yeah, can I help you?
I wrote you this letter.
Dear Ashley...
That's me!
Uh, yeah.
My name is Robert Freeman.
That's me!
I wrote you a letter, but I couldn't figure out how to get it to you.
I put a stamp on it, but it just sat there on my desk for weeks and weeks.
Finally, I just picked it up and started walking to your house.
I walked through the desert, climbed over mountains,
and swam across the ocean.
Now I'm confused and tired.
Is there an easier way to get you a letter?
Please help. Well?
Robert, let me see this letter.
OK, now here's a little advice.
Next time...
Use the stinkin' mail!
The mail, you big piece of stupid!
Duh, I'm Robert and I'm idiot boy.
And I walked across the country.
And blah-di-blah-di-blah-di-blah!
Hey, why don't you put a stamp on your brainless head,
and mail yourself to Mill Valley, California,
and you can watch Will Cumbra hold his stinkin' breath until he passes out!
And then you can drag the unconscious twit to Las Vegas, Nevada
where you two can share some steaming hot cocoa,
out of Burton Ebger's hot stinkin' hands!
Man!
And one last thing, get out of my stinkin' room!
Man!
Well, that's all the advice I have for you today.
Buh-bye, everybody!
Hi, everyone!
It's time for Ask Ashley.
That's me!
Hi, I'm Ashley and I'm here to answer your letters.
Our first letter comes from...
Tracy Sullivan of Yakima, Washington.
Tracy writes, Dear Ashley...
That's me!
Dear Ashley, my mom always makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,
with the peanut butter on the top and the jelly on the bottom.
But I prefer the jelly on the top and the peanut butter on the bottom.
What should I do?
Well Tracy, here's a little advice.
Turn the stinkin' sandwich over!
The peanut butter is one the top and the jelly is on the--
Just turn the stinkin' sandwich over! Man!
Our next letter comes from...
Benjamin Tookus of Shreveport, Louisiana.
Ben writes, Dear Ashley...
That's me!
Dear Ashley, I really like to ride my bike.
But when I'm riding, there always comes a time when I want to stop.
Usually I just plow into a parked car or a brick wall,
but this is starting to hurt.
Any ideas on how to stop my bike?
Well Ben, here's a little advice.
Use the stinkin' brakes!
The brakes, Benji!
And here's another idea.
Next time you wanna stop your stinkin' bike,
why not drive it into Tracy Sullivan from Yakima, Washington!
She'll be the chick with the confused look on her face,
standing there holding up her stupid peanut butter and jelly sandwich
the wrong way!
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