What's up everybody, I'm Dev,
and I'm Andrew,
and we're issuing our strongest possible SPOILER WARNING.
Oh, I've heard of this flick! There's a twist in it, isn't there?
If you haven't seen 'Infinity War,' turn this video off right now,
and go watch some 'Yellow Spandex' or 'How to Kill.'
Because we're talking all about that shocking ending,
and just how badly the Avengers had to mess up to let it happen.
Thanos won,
half the universe is dead,
and until 'Avengers 4' drops next year,
we'll just have to bide our time by playing the blame game.
Jesus. Look up idiot in the dictionary, you know what you'll find?
A picture of me?
No! The definition of the word idiot, which you freaking are!
It took a catastrophic series of screw-ups to allow Thanos to collect all six gems and inflict his twisted will on the universe.
So today, we're gonna point some fingers and try to figure out
Who's to Blame?
We've rounded up some pretty unusual suspects,
starting with Peter Dinklage's weird and wonderful cameo as
Eitri
Without him, Thanos would have had no way to weaponize the Infinity Stones,
he'd just carry them around in a little velvet sack like D&D dice.
I can't really fault Eitri too much,
considering that Thanos threatened to wipe out his entire species if he didn't create the Gauntlet,
then went ahead and did it anyway.
Now, Eitri does makes amends by forging a new weapon that makes Mjolnir look like a pool noodle.
But sadly, Stormbreaker's potential was wasted in the hands of
Thor
Yeah, he uses the built-in bifrost to warp to Wakanda,
obliterate a ton of Outriders,
and shatter Thanos' sternum.
But that's not enough to prevent him from snapping his fingers.
Going for the head would have been great,
Go for the head!
but you could have chopped off his arm and everything would have been just fine.
I don't... He should have just went for the head.
In his defense, he came from like 200 feet in the air and threw it... It was right in this area.
He didn't adjust for wind resistance. You can't fault Thor.
It was a new weapon, he just broke it out.
I really wish I had my hammer.
Sounds like you have a pretty special and intimate relationship with the hammer, and losing it was comarable to losing a loved one.
That's a nice way of putting it.
Maybe he wasn't thinking straight thanks to the loss of his beloved brother,
who's also a big reason we're in this mess:
Loki
First off, screw Loki for even getting in bed with this asshole in the first place,
although technically,
his embarrassing failure in the first 'Avengers' actually kept the Mind Stone out of Thanos' hands for years.
Still, he caves in about thirty seconds after the Titan threatens to kill Thor,
something Loki has been trying to do for, like, a thousand years.
He hands over the Tesseract and gets his neck snapped for his trouble,
so right from the opening scene, we know two things:
Anyone can die,
and snitches get stitches.
Dear brother, you're becoming predictable.
Life is about growth. It's about change, but you seem to just want to stay the same.
Still, Thanos knew exactly who had the Space Stone,
and I'm sure he would have pried it from Loki's cold, dead hands sooner or later.
It's not like its location was a total mystery for countless millennia,
unlike the Soul Stone.
which brings us to
Gamora
The greenest Guardian of the Galaxy is the emotional core of 'Infinity War,'
and her relationship with Thanos gives us some welcome insight into her history and his motivations.
But it's Gamora's connection to another family member that ends up annihilating half the universe:
Her sister, Nebula.
I mean, I get it,
I'd have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if someone I love was being brutally tortured,
but Gamora was willing to die to keep the Soul Stone secret,
and I doubt her sister would have a problem sacrificing herself.
It just feels like Gamora caved too soon,
Nebula escaped like, ten minutes later all on her own.
If Gamora had just held out a little longer,
or was a better liar,
Thanos would be down a Stone,
she'd still be alive,
and Star-Lord wouldn't have flown off the handle.
Also? She should have gone right.
We'll get to Peter Quill in a second, but first we should talk about
The Secret Avengers
The Vision had a pretty impressive life,
he's only 3 years old and he's already saved the world and found true love,
I gotta take his class or something.
At three years old I was pooping my pants.
POOPIE!!!
That's all I was doing.
Still, he's willing to make the ultimate sacrifice,
and he begs Wanda to destroy the weapon of cosmic destruction embedded in his skull.
Wanda, Cap and his Secret Avengers put the kibosh on that plan,
which is noble, but not exactly wise.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I know, I know,
'we don't trade lives.'
I can't fault Steve Rogers for sticking by his teammates,
even it means Wakanda is utterly devastated while Shuri tries to backup the Vision's brain.
That scene stressed me out. The moment they walked in I'm like 'protect her!'
And she brought back the hand cannons, too, she's like 'get out of here.'
Let's go!
Wanda eventually shatters the Stone, but it's too late.
Well, actually, she got it just in time,
but that has no meaning when you're up against someone who has the remote control from 'Click' in his glove.
I hope they remember you.
Otherwise known as a cosmic rewind button.
You're in Bed Bath & Beyond, sir.
Love conquers all,
but it can't conquer the conqueror,
and in 'Infinity War,'
passions only cause problems.
It's time to talk
Star-Lord
This one... He screwed up.
He really did screw it up.
When we first met Peter Quill,
he was a cocky, space faring scoundrel who only cared about himself.
But after losing his mom and both of his dads,
Come after us, alt-right, he's got one mom and two dads!
Don't @ me.
falling in love,
and fostering a surrogate family,
he's still kind of a dick,
a caring dick,
but still a dick.
especially when it comes to Gamora.
He was willing to uphold his promise and kill his love to protect the Soul Stone,
but he was a little too slow on the draw.
Then, on Titan, when the team is seconds away from snatching the Gauntlet,
Quill goes apeshit when he finds out about Gamora's death,
and wakes Thanos up from his Mantis-induced haze.
We know Star-Lord has rage issues,
Sounds bad...
But, come on dude,
you could've blown his head off with one of your laser guns,
instead of punching him with your puny, half-human fist.
No doubt about it, this is a major screw up,
but maybe it was all part of the plan.
A sorcerer supreme could have easily stopped Star-Lord,
if he wanted to.
I'm looking at you,
Dr. Strange
I mean, what happened to all that
'I won't hesitate to sacrifice you or your adorable teenage sidekick' stuff?
Was that a good impression of a British guy trying to do an American accent?
Yes.
Thank you.
Instead, he hands it over to Thanos to save the life of some dude he doesn't even like.
Why would he do that?
Is he worried that the MCU will tank once Robert Downey Jr.'s out of the picture?
I know it's rhetorical, but yes.
Maybe he's looking out for his fellow Sherlock?
Or did he just go to Comic Con and see all those sequels planned for characters who just crumbled into dust?
Well, if you really need the Ending Explained,
it's because when he was doing his 'Jacob's Ladder' shaky head thing,
he saw 14,000,605 possible futures,
and only one where the good guys come out on top.
That means he saw a timeline where Star-Lord kept his cool, they got the Gauntlet off,
and Thanos won anyway.
What about using the Time Stone to go back to when the Hulk was still Ed Norton,
or even further, and snuff out Thanos when he was just a little purple baby?
We know Strange isn't afraid to mess with the space-time continuum,
I mean, he made Dormammu live through 14 million years or something like that?
Dormammu? I've come to bargain.
Dormammu?
Dormammu?
Dormammu!
Dormammu?
Dormammu?
I've come to bargain!
I've come to bar--
It would have been pointless, they still would have lost.
For whatever reason,
Tony Stark needs to be alive in order to topple Thanos.
Get mad all you want, but like Strange himself said,
"There was no other way."
Well, there was one other way,
if the asshole who started this mess just stayed on Titan in the first place.
Thanos
Look, at the end of the day, we can blame Nick Fury for not paging Captain Marvel sooner,
or Shuri for not using USB-C,
but ultimately, the buck stops with Thanos.
He had noble intentions, but he went about them the worst way possible.
Murdering half of the sentient beings in the galaxy is a pretty drastic step towards sustainability.
Why couldn't he just snap his fingers and create a limitless supply of food and energy,
or at least more bike lanes and public transportation?
I mean, did he consider banning plastic bags?
With the power of the Infinity Gauntlet,
there are a million other ways he could have saved the universe,
but he chose the quick and dirty option,
and now Groot is dead,
AGAIN.
This is all on Thanos, and instead of blaming the Avengers,
we should mourn them,
but not too hard.
I mean, all the heroes that died are the new faces who just signed big multi-year contracts,
and not even Thanos can stop 'Black Panther 2' from happening.
Yeah, the second Black Panther started disappearing, everyone in the theater was like 'get the heck out of here!'
Pointing fingers is never constructive,
especially when we haven't heard the whole story yet.
So, until we see how the gang gets out of this mess in 'Avengers 4,'
let's just cool our jets,
watch some box-office records get smashed,
and get hype for the Wasp and Captain Marvel instead.
If you get hurt, hurt 'em back.
If you get killed,
walk it off.
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