- Why are you here?
Well, I've been married for 12 years.
Uh-huh.
And I met my husband and we got married within 2
and 1/2 months of dating.
He had the potential of being the type of guy
that I was actually looking for. I mean--
The potential.
You know what potential means?
How do you define potential?
Almost, but not quite.
Ah, you're right.
Potential means you ain't doing nothing now.
[CHUCKLES]
And the only thing you can bank on
is what's going on right now.
You can't bank on what might happen.
He'd make me laugh. He was funny.
He was gorgeous. I was very attracted to him.
So why didn't you just marry him for that
instead of what might happen?
Well, I thought I could-- we can just fix-- we can work
on it together and just fix--
I can fix what he needed to be fixed.
And if I had anything--
Well, who said he wanted to be fixed?
That's where I made my mistake.
There's a few things I didn't like
about him when I first married him,
but I thought I could change him.
IYANLA (VOICEOVER): Many women convince themselves
that they can change a man to become who they want him to be.
By doing so, they bypass the step
of getting to know their partner in a meaningful way,
in part, because they haven't made the effort
to get to know themselves.
And I suspect this is the case with Miss Malorie.
It's a common mistake that women make.
They manipulate men.
But that's a clear sign of a controlling person.
And it's a clear sign of a problem relationship.
So what is the state of your marriage now?
I don't know.
You don't know?
I haven't heard from him.
We got into an argument.
When was the last time you saw your husband?
Five months ago.
How about the marriage is over.
I mean he'd never-- he won't respond.
He's responded to me a couple of times through email.
Everything you've said is about him.
You haven't said nothing about you.
What's your choice, as a woman?
What's your position, as a woman?
What's your desire, as a woman?
I filed for divorce.
So then why are you here?
I'm here because, my husband and I, we love each other.
He have a few issues.
We can work it out.
Um--
But again, you're talking about him.
I kno--
What about you?
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