what's going on guys thank you so much for watching this video I have with me a
friend of mine Paul of ATF I am so excited to have mon i it's someone that
I know him for a long time about nine years or so in I want to focus a little
bit on his testimony but more importantly I want to spend some time
talking about the time that you kind of went away from the Lord and then the
Lord is brought you back so with that said man tell us a bit a little bit but
tell us a bit about yourself so I think I think it all started when I was like
18 19 I was just I was I mean I grew up most of you probably watching this and
including myself yeah we grew up in Christian homes and that's such the most
like stereotypical Christian testimony as you parents your parents were
Christians actly and I was just borrowing their faith and then around 16
I started to like drink and around 18 years old
no I'm 18 at 18 I went to this really big thing get together with a lot of
people I was a lot of like worldliness in it sinfulness and I was just not
doing the right things and then I came to city on a hill and beloved that's not
sure lovak that we go to know pastor Slovak and he
was preaching about again cheeseburgers and backed me up I mean of course
cheeseburgers somehow led to Jesus in the end which was awesome and it was
told that Jesus man the thing that he does and I know this very good is that
he doesn't plan jokes and his sermons but they come out spontaneously all
right not a good way to do it kids I'm not very good at it but no you're
hilarious well thank you thank you I'll take it I'm good to know yeah and then I
remember it was Thursday night and I got invited my one of my best friend's
parents were out of town and so we were going to parties and then Thursday night
I got I was at church service and they had a youth service down south on Friday
and I got invited to that and I didn't really want to go
because my parents parents were out of town yeah and I stick a neither party
with my friend and do you know drink and or go to church but I got invited by a
couple girls couple sisters holy sisters hallelujah thanks Louie and God works in
really mysterious ways and like when I got invited yeah there I was thinking
okay my bros or a car full of girls and totally for the wrong motives and Jesus
just came up to me and at that service I mean preaching yeah gee I thought her
preaching and the preacher was talking about Jesus on a level that I've never
heard before yeah and he did an altar call and I
didn't want to go out front I'm like no not gonna have to be cool in front of
these girls yeah you know and they have to be my friends I'm gonna give up all
the stuff I don't want to give it up and all of a sudden he says there's still
somebody out here you need to come and I'm just like yeah and I just kind of
like almost ran out and nudged everyone aside and I fell down to the floor and
I'm just crying I mean I was flying sorry fat class I was flying and all I
could say was just Jesus Jesus Jesus and and then he comes up to me and he puts
his hand on his head he's like and I look up he's like hey just the way that
you walked through that crowd of people yeah he's just gonna use you as a
trailblazer and that just really transformed my life and then I mean
honestly I remember coming home I was on cloud nine and I think that was when I
was just born again for sure yeah and then something very powerful happened
with you was remember that party I was talking about earlier and I got Russell
pastor one of the pastor city yeah yeah he pulled you aside and he showed you
this video with me in hand so let's just put some context to that because that
was not a good video yeah and you know it's it's crazy because like you'll
change your life and you'd be a different person out there yeah but you
know your your actions that you've done in the previous kind of like the way you
will use to live it follows you and I remember that that particularly
I remember my pastor at that time came up to me and kind of showed me a video
of you not in the best light and this was a promotional video for parties they
are hugely yeah so you couldn't take it off because the guy who who did the
parties he paid for that so he couldn't take it off the guy by the way yeah so
you can take it off online and I remember just ask a pastor you know I
hate should I kind of but by this time you'll actually what was really cool is
that deserving he did take it out of it clip oh wow so it's really awesome of
him but yeah so I was already in the worship group for jazz or that radical
encounter yeah you pull me aside and you tell me hey so I've seen this thing yeah
and I'm like oh yeah cuz I have just seen it I think it was the week I came
out I just saw it too and I'm like oh that's it I'm done not for me anymore
and what did you say oh well my pastor is just like well cuz I asked mom like
do you think we should kind of remove them from worship for this and he's like
no I think this is a time for us to pull him closer and this is not he is no
longer who he used to be yeah you know he has a new identity in Christ and I
remember that I was a pretty young leader at that time I was maybe two
years into like planting youth ministry so I was in maybe there were a few years
younger than I am man yeah yeah so it's it's really early in ministry but man I
don't know do you like our my new cuffs by the way I'll dude I love them I
always always show it show off this this isn't Natasha bond she actually bought
these for the podcast but who knows this is as you were drinking I'm thinking
like okay I got to ask you this because the whole point of this thing what we're
doing is I want to highlight people in our community to live in light of
eternity or are making decisions in light of eternity now I understand that
normally we would want to encounter Jesus and be perfect right after that or
I mean one of the those two but it doesn't happen like that it's it's a
broken road that goes up and down and I know that for you it was kind of like
that too it wasn't exactly you know everything good after that you were in
our worship team for for some time and then I remember you started to like not
come to church I you started to kind of and I sigh you down I was like bro like
what's going on and you looked at me and said well probably got school I got this
and I remember looking at you than saying that hey I don't think this is a
kind of school issue where no time where I don't have time issue I think this is
a heart issue yeah but that didn't really change things I do remember how
he sort of kind of walked out of the church so so what were we going through
at that time I think I just got I think I got deceived and just because I had a
I had a very skewed image of Christ mhm the way that I would interpret
certain scriptures like become all things for all people yeah I would I
would literally become the person who I'm trying to minister and to instead of
being the light di person you know and I just totally took it out of context and
I didn't see that the Paul's at the very end the main emphasis is love and I
think Jesus said grace and truth right yes grace is truth and I had a lot of
truth I had a lot of like biblical knowledge a lot of theology and it
puffed me up and I became so arrogant I would critique people sermons I'd be
sitting in the sermon and the church and I'll just be like this is wrong
of course you never criticize any of my sermons cuz my mother Mary it was really
was great so at that moment at that moment you just sort of because I do
remember you kind of gone through a kind of a spiritual adventurism if I could
call that where you were into really a reformed theology and then you were yeah
the thing is it's like it was always the next new thing and I still feel like I
still kind of am like have like a lot of like reformed
and because I see like the reform versus and I see the other version which to be
bad yeah to be clear it's not bad it's just I think you'll pursued was more for
knowledge that yes for class and it wasn't and it wasn't it was just it was
all about that there's a balance like I feel like now when it comes to like yeah
yeah for real talk you know Calvinism atheism I'm sorry
because Arminius equate a theist ever um I don't mean that because I'm I I'm
right in the middle you know but the thing is when it comes to that it it
gets our focus off of Jesus gets our focus off of the gospel and that's the
main purpose yeah I stopped preaching the gospel and I stopped I mean but the
thing is I was really but I have it's just table SH dude it was it was
confusion I don't even know what I was doing I was young and ignorant yeah and
I remember that very well cuz I was going through a really rough time myself
with our youth ministry because we we had a wave of people sort of going
through waves yeah waves rather yeah and so they
started with or reformed and there was Calvinism those extreme Calvinism or you
know and then some people went into agnosticism and then later atheism and
it seems like you almost kind of follow the same path maybe not as drastically
but it seems like you kind of went the same direction so for me it was it was
really hard because it wasn't it wasn't like oh I'm an agnostic you know I
didn't want I didn't want to stop being a believer I've just everyone I was in a
small group and I believe everyone in the small group including the small
group leader whom I love and everyone in the small group I still love you guys if
you're watching this I'm probably watching it yeah I love everyone and and
the thing is though they all they all stopped being believers and for me I'm
sitting there and I'm supposedly a Calvinist you know and I'm like once
saved always saved and the Bible just broke and
yeah what really tough what followed up for that I I went to I went to left
sitting on the hill because I did accountability but I didn't realize that
that's why I lasted II and I oh I wanted a more truth driven Church just to feed
my ego and I picked up smoking cigarettes because it was like I'm free
in Christ me no religions gonna stop me stupid laws and yes so ignorant how is
the one who's stupid you know but then over time I think over the next six
months I just I moved out and I stopped having a accountability in my church
community and I started to smoke weed and that just kind of really and then I
started to experiment with some psychedelics and and that what that
really did was it made me just stop caring and stop pursuing Jesus and
because I stopped pursuing I mean I'm guys I'm telling you guys
this is something I'm not trying to boast I'm not proud about this stuff you
know and if you are you know I'm sorry I'm not proud about this you know I
think that this just goes to show I just want to show that I'm a sinner
and I have a really great Savior and I think that I'm completely changed
God has yea pletely reformed and renewed me and it's just I was complete and I'm
and then a year and a half I was agnostic and then the last six months I
was atheist and then Jesus radically just changed my life wrong what what it
was if you can make that in a couple minutes what was that like I mean it was
just something that the Lord spoke to your heart what was it like an event so
I had a super like vivid dream and everything in the dream meant nothing a
lot deeper and I didn't understand it at first it was like super complex but it
was I wouldn't say it's like you know like physical like this right but it was
so real and I woke up I'm like and I'm like I need to read my Bible
and pretty much Jesus I mean the first time you know I was crying and Jesus
will I come home my beloved son and this time he says hey you need to repent no
you don't turn back and repent my protection is gonna come off of you yeah
and I took that very seriously and the next few weeks were kind of like I
wasn't too sure I was still trying to get into it and then it was like boom
something radical happened and I quit smoking weed quit smoking cigarettes
quit alcohol I was praying like an hour every day I was reading the Bible but
the fault was I didn't plug myself deep into community into Christian community
and that loneliness led me to eight months later reach out to my old friends
and I kind of what happened after I reached out to my old friends I've tried
to fish them out to become believers but I was the fishing up the Fisher yeah and
when that happened yeah I kind of backslide and I got a I got a Dewey I
you know I think by the second or third time you'd learn your lesson no but I
think I think a lot of times when we encounter the Lord for us is it's an
experience for sure but I think you mentioned that you're an atheist for
last six months and for me I think a big problem that I have with that in
generals I don't think even logically atheism make sense because atheism does
it have any basis for truth or morality now I I'm not saying that people who are
atheists cannot be you know moral were truthful and honest and and have hope
and you know have purpose but I think I'm talking in light of eternity right
like I'm talking in in light of it like of the bigger things right in light of
life after death I don't think if you believe in atheism
there's no ultimate meaning there's no ultimate purpose there is no ultimate
truth and because of that if God doesn't exist and there's no really moral law so
for me it was an experience where I encountered the Lord like kind of like
emotionally it was a convincing of me theologically but I think a lot of time
I can never go back to you atheism or agnosticism because logically I can
never believe that I do think at times he might take way more faith to be an
atheist than to be a Christian yeah I actually had a friend of mine who told
me that he's see he's a full atheist he said he told me that when he comes to
hope the Christian worldview really kicks butt you know it's one of the for
sure you know one of the most kind of like hopeful worldviews out there so
that is some of the problems that I have with atheism so I know for you as coming
to Christ was an experience but was it like that to you where you maybe got to
a point where like I don't know if I actually believe this when it came to
eight the atheism I think the biggest thing was that I just because of the
community because of the roots I completely lost touch with like and I
never really didn't not want to be I always actually genuinely wanted to be a
Christian yeah but for me when I became an atheist I was just like it's not real
mm-hmm it's logically it's just not real I wish jesus was realizing had a
facebook status and I think suggest me it's like letting go of imaginary
friends are the hardest to let go you know yeah and I think and in reality
there's no I don't think it honestly I don't think it takes more faith to be an
atheist I think it takes just as much faith to be an atheist as it takes to be
a Christian both are hard but Christianity there's a lot of things
that make sense in the world like forgiveness purpose hope for sure just
mercy justice mercy I mean that purpose the idea of the
cross meeting the ultimate justice and the ultimate mercy of God it's where
he's just and he's like I have to be just but I love them and I want them and
I have to be loving because because the thing is people said he has to be just
but he's also loving and it's in his character he would have to come down
because he is loving he's just as much loving as he is just and and that's
that's I think I think I think the people I would even take issue with the
idea that somehow you know if it's not physical it's not real I know that's not
why you Lyde but I think there's plenty of
things that are not physical but we do believe in like for example love or
Manchus that can be or logic right like there's a lot of things that that are
there that are not physical but we do believe in their existence you know so I
would even kind of like when somebody throws that up saying well it's not real
physically well then obviously you have to ignore all these other things so I
don't smoke I don't spend too much too much time on that but one thing I wanted
to ask you so you you have this kind of like backtrack again right and again
like I've said a lot of times you think that we're gonna be Christians and then
right after that we gonna be perfect but that's not how it happened yeah and
that's no I knew exactly what you're talking about
see the thing is is I thought like when I stopped being an atheist somewhere
tetsu Oh No yeah pristine you know like yeah I mean not to say just that
atheists are bad people I know great atheists that are really really kind
generous loving people and and the thing is is that I just thought that once I
was a Christian I thought it was done I thought that was over like you sure you
know but I that was was so devastating this time was that I wanted to be clean
I wanted to be a vision I wanted to be living in Christ and then I gave him the
other time the first time was I I I didn't believe it and I was just doing
what I couldn't like Mike I didn't get convicted for it because that was my
conviction staff like not really get convicted yet you know do things that
would yeah and but I think what to a certain extent our moral compass was but
a lot of times people don't realize that once they become a Christian now you
know up until now the enemy might not be after you with everything but when you
become a Christian you know we have at least three enemies we have our own
flesh that is not redeemed well it is redeemed by Christ but we still live in
sinful world is still pulling us towards sin right we have the enemy which is
Satan in his demons and then we have the ideologies and culture and all that of
the world right - Eric Carle Turkish culture could be a good thing - but like
the ideology the exalts itself above Christ
you know so we're fighting all these three fronts and I think a lot of times
we don't we don't realize that and we feel like every sometimes we stumble and
fall we feel like oh it's our fault but really you're a war and you're gonna
lose some battles but I think what we need to know is that you know crisis won
the war right I'm a man and that's a that brings me to my absolute favorite
is verse has saved me more than anything this is like the key next to
lamentations 3:23 where his mercies are new every morning just that fast
never ends steadfast love never ends is Malachi chapter 7 verses 8 through 10
where it says rejoice not over me all my enemy when I fall I will rise though I'm
sitting in darkness the loyal is a light to me and while I was sitting in
darkness while I was sitting in that moment of darkness the Lord was my only
light that I heard and when it seemed like all hope was broken all hope was
lost the Lord was there and and I mean he's proved that to me time and time
again in my personal life and in my personal testimony and just I like the
fact that that he is always there it and he will he will bring me out into the
light that's the next part of the verse knowing that I have that hope I had that
faith that even though I'm down now he is my light while I'm down and he will
bring me out into the light it's just so so how him how after all this I mean
it's a lot to take in but after all this I know that you went through some
difficulties personal you know like you went to you had a DUI as far as I
understand I don't know how much I can really mention but then that kind of led
you to to Bible school so yeah how my question would be okay where's your
identity now and what got you there yeah oh yeah this Oh God Jesus is so good
that's all I can say after the DUI I was broken and that happened in that time
that you talk about like about him you came to Christ and there and you take
some time off and the thing that that really brought me back I would say the
emphasis of what brought me back to Jesus was the gospel the message of
Jesus there's no story like that I mean there's there's multiple stories just
like that but I think it's human nature's in
no longing for Jesus and they make store like Ely takes Superman right he dies he
literally died and then he came back to life you take every single superhero
there dying and then they come back to life
it's because they have this inner longing for an underdog superhero which
is Jesus and so after the DI was completely broken I was in what you call
the devils cave we just Netflix and porn and self-loathing and suicidal thoughts
and darkness and it's just I hate my life a myself and the week of missionary
school I mean I mean my mom told me hey you have to call them and I'm like no
not again and I called they had a phone interview I still remember who with and
I was I was just almost almost doing it as a practical joke because I didn't
think I was gonna go so you didn't go to Bible College because you were so
passionate about Jesus and I thought I was gonna be like I'm so wander I am
wondering if like parents and their kids to Bible College it's just you like I
was a counselor it's every single time it's not just you know wanna go PC it's
for you Jesus wants you the other way and and I remember I quit smoking
cigarettes the second day of five of school even though I had just reap icked
it up a couple years earlier after being Jesus saved me from it and and
missionary school just radically I mean we had an hour of prayer from 8 a.m. to
9 a.m. every single morning and after I was like I thought I knew God you know I
told you a lady I knew and I know after five minutes I'm like dude what am I
supposed to pray and then the third week I remember the third week after we had
confessions and and I just got like someone prophesied to me the third week
there was just one moment we was just full after school I came and I got into
the closet and I put on my headphones because it's so loud in the house and
just like this blood of God's grace came in and I'm weeping
is to have so much joy I feel so on such a level of freedom and like pure ecstasy
honestly and it's just in my relationship with him he is the joy and
I remember walking out of that closet and I just have a stupid smile on my
face and there's this brother in the in the hallway that I barely knew and I
loved him so much I just came up to my shoulders I look like dude and I
literally loved him in that moment I could have kissed my worst enemy on the
cheek like that was the kind of that's the kind of love that literally
transforms that kind of experience and it's it was real you know it was it was
assurance subjective sure it's experiential sure it's not a fact but it
was real it was he was there I was having a real I'm having a relationship
with him and then God will provide missionary school if you don't make your
beds in the morning you got to go there and that's a sign because they whip me
into shape discipline I mean I said I'm making my bed 6 a.m. started getting my
I mean all my life I've never read the Bible fully through and through there I
learned the disciplines of daily devotions and learning how to live in
light of eternity in my relationship with Jesus my prayer life in my Bible
reading life and that that was really transformative and then I went to
missions Indonesia there's Little Orphan Rascals I mean I love them they changed
my life and I think I just made him laugh but they changed my life that's
amazing bro so Paul what would you say right now you've been through a lot and
I know you went to Indonesia you went to Bible School and you're back now and I
know that you are leaving us a ministry called worship at Alki and I'm so
looking forward to that what are some years fourth year oh that's gonna be the
eighth year total yeah I if you live in Seattle by by chance I would encourage
you to come on every single and a night almost I think it's eight weeks or so
the office of summer exchange yeah come and worship with us at Alki and i
hopefully Paul doesn't get mad about this but I do agree that and I do think
that Paul leading worship and all kites a
sight to behold oh my god it's very interesting to say the least you know
what someone said I'm eccentric like you were born about force you know decades a
bit too late you should be born in like 1960s or 80s whoever you know but so
what are the plans now what would you first let's start with what would you
what kind of device would you give to maybe somebody that's listening right
now and they're going through the same difficulty and they're questioning God's
existence what would you say to them Oh questioning God's existence would you
someone who's going through a really difficult time mm-hmm I would I would
say for those who are questioning God's existence you're asking questions and
that's good sure ask more doubt your doubts doubt the doubts that you doubt
and then and then when you figure out what you want to be give it all all of
it all of your life all of your devotion whatever it's gonna be do it all the way
don't none of that lukewarm garbage okay just either all in or not
you know Jesus if Jesus doesn't want the lukewarm if you're gonna be lukewarm
just go all the way out or go all the way in honestly and if you give to Jesus
give it all and remember this is that when you fall just get back up the enemy
the thing is my identity in Jesus something that really has been changing
my life and this is you guys are gonna hear this from you okay so be ready but
that idea of identity in Jesus I mean that's something that's changing my life
more and more is because guilt is your actions right I know sin so I'm guilty
of sin yet and then shame is my identity yeah shame is saying you're you sinned
so you're guilty of your sin and now that becomes your identity so you should
be ashamed of who you are yeah now when Jesus died on the cross he took our
guilt and our shame and he he took all of our identity right that
that that snake right the snake bite when the poison gets in here it goes and
onto him and he gives all of his identity that robe of righteousness it's
not that that I just always say like this and it's so much deeper than just
this I used to say that robe of righteousness is is that his perfect
record and his perfect life that he lived without sin all of his good works
that he did and he gives it to you and when the father looks at you he sees
Jesus works and he sees Jesus life and that's true but righteousness is his
identity you're now a son you're a citizen of heaven you're a saint
and when you mess up you give it all to Jesus oh and you have that identity that
is what add that keep in mind that enemy all he wants to do is to tempt you and
once he gets it to sin he wants to you know shame you so that's you know that's
who you are forever yeah and that's why he was but do you understand that he's a
liar and you are serving a father that's the father of truth so I always think
we're here why would I believe the enemy on this you know what I mean because
he's been lying forever Paul well that said what what are some things that you
are excited about I know what shabak is coming home I mean you're back in
Washington there's a lot of things going on what are you looking forward to
Jesus hold me in your arms that's a well you know I have so much joy day-in
day-out I'm driving my car like I maniac just singing and dancing to the Lord you
don't drive your car like I mean yet I hope yeah I Drive like a safe Christian
would like what like I mean I dance and I sing and I praise the Lord and how I'd
love to pull up to the traffic light I probably put your Instagram
I'm looking forward to I love my job you know I get to I get to just talk about
Jesus on a job and I've seen some like I've seen people we've been in the semi
truck just in the presence of the Lord and it's really awesome I love just
community church community and I love where Jesus is taking me now
I love the friends that I've been and I've really gotten integrated back I
don't back worship on out guides already making playlists for worship and that's
like six months away you know make sure you join the group on Facebook it's
called worship a tall guy yeah and like slovaks page as well thank you very much
bug and last question that I always tried to ask pretty much everyone um how
do you practically live in light of eternity
you know I that's the whole point of this is that how do we practically live
and in light of eternity what does that look like for you I think I think
practically seeking grace and giving grace is because I remember that that
instance with how you guys you and Rosalind you guys gave me grace you know
I should have been kicked out of ministry if it was someone's if it was
some two-bit Jesus loving fake yeah yeah and you guys gave me grace into changed
my life forever and I remember coming up to Pastor Russell and after I had come
back and with tears I'm apologizing I'm like pastor I am so sorry
I can't believe I did and same with you I came up to you multiple times and I
don't believe that it was just once that I crouch I'm not a crier he's a crier
and you guys are just so gracious I mean Russell's verbatim was I only have good
thoughts about you and just yeah well that's because Jesus has good thoughts
about us right and we extend that which we've been you know given her and so my
goal is when people jack up my life gives them that same crazy yeah you know
you just really want to give grace it's literally it's a it's the way the
Lord I see it is I have the hardness of heart and he overcomes my hardness of
heart and I harden it more because I'm like I don't want your grace of heart of
my heart and then when I do that he like gives
you more grace and I'm like can't resist the shell breaks and I'm like and then I
become a crier I told you he cries just like 1 percent of every day sometimes I
think well thank you so much for watching this video let's keep the
conversation in the section the comment section below I'd love to hear if you
guys maybe have some questions for Paul I would love to give him those questions
to him we'll definitely do this more often talk about other topics much sure
you're doing so you know and also maybe if you know someone that is influential
and they are they chose to live their life in light of eternity I'd love to
talk to them so that said if you guys can subscribe that'd be awesome
and thank you again god bless take care
For more infomation >> (Vikings) Ivar The Boneless || There is No Happiness - Duration: 3:24. 
For more infomation >> TERENCE HILL in My Name Is Nobody - subtitrare in romana cu CC-subtitles with auto-translate - Duration: 1:55:53. 
For more infomation >> What is Cytora? - Duration: 1:22. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét