(upbeat music)
- This is not where high performers live.
This is where people who ultimately
become very dissatisfied with life live.
Now it doesn't mean that you
can't be comfortable in your life.
There's nothing wrong with being comfortable
at some point in your life.
It's just as you know if you've studied my work,
that sometimes comfort over a period of time
becomes boring or dissatisfied.
And you feel like there's something missing,
and what's missing is what we call the charge.
That there is this other level of energy
and engagement and enthusiasm with life.
But what I'd like to do today
is begin with this very simple challenge.
And that is if you feel that you've been here too much,
and you know it because, you're here and only here.
Your career has flat lined, right?
You're in a plateau moment in your career,
which is okay, but a lot of people hit that right.
They really worked hard, hard, hard, hard,
and then they plateaued.
And they're wondering why have I plateaued?
This happens in athletics,
when I worked with high lever athletes.
It happens in the Fortune 50 executives I work with,
it happens with the celebrities I work with.
It's not because they're not smart, they're not driven.
Not because they're sabotaging themselves,
and it's not because they're in a bad mood,
it's not because the kids, it's not because of the team,
that at some point when we hit that plateau,
there's usually a reason why.
And that is we started guiding our days
and we started thinking about our ambitions from this place.
From our comfort zone.
And our comfort zone, this line around it
is really a line of preferences, that's it.
I don't feel like working that hard today
because you don't have to, you're already there.
Right, you climbed the mountain, you're good.
And you're like,
man can't I just enjoy the view for a while?
And I'm like, absolutely enjoy the view, love the view.
Set up camp on top of the mountains,
shout out from the rooftops, have a children, start a farm,
start making your vegetables, live up there
in comfort as long as you want.
And then one day you'll go, there must be something more.
It's just the human ambition for growth, for contribution,
for deeper levels of connection and giving
that drives so many of us.
I love to look at your career, your relationships,
your health and suggest to you that the way out
of the comfort zone is not what you might think.
Most people think that the way out of the comfort zone
is set a goal.
They think it's have an aspiration.
A lot of people think it's hope.
And a lot of people what they do,
is they start breaking the comfort zone a little bit,
dabbling, trying, taking one tepid step forward
and then kind of falling back.
Here's what I've learned about high performers though.
And this was a big breakthrough recently
when I was working with a very, very high level
world class coach for sports teams.
And we were talking about high performers
and what the difference is between the guys
who kinda go through the motions, comfort zone,
and the guys who are working on the field.
And I believe that the reason that high performers
hit excellence, isn't because of their comfort zone,
but they're in the necessary zone.
I know that's such, kind of a clunky phrase.
I wish I had a better phrase for it.
But let me walk you through what I mean.
I think it's important for all of us to find necessary.
If we are going to amplify our life to the next level.
What do I mean?
Look, if you're in your comfort zone,
you're doing things 'cause it's easy, it's a preference.
You got good at it, it's a skill, it's a knowledge,
it's a core competency, it's a capability you can do
and you feel good about yourself.
The reason high performers stay high performers so long
is because they believe it is necessary to continue growing.
It's necessary to put in the training, the practice.
It's necessary for them to give more,
to serve more, to contribute more.
It's necessary for them to grown in their character.
It's necessary for them to deepen their relationships.
It's necessary for them to feel more alive.
It's part of their identity, that it is necessary to grow.
It's not like a hope, an idea, it's not even an aspiration.
It's a must, it's a necessity in their day.
It's like I was talking recently to two NFL players.
Great guys, legends right, really cool guys.
And they were, I just happen to be on some vacation
and ran into them.
And I'll show you what's really cool.
As we're talking, one guy I was talking about,
his hunger for being on the field.
And he was talking about how the other people around him,
who are also by the way, they're all NFL players,
they were good too, this guy's a legend.
And he said that the main difference
between what he felt like he did and other people did,
is he felt it was necessary for him to keep an edge.
That's what he said.
He says, "I have to keep that edge,
"I have to be pushing myself.
"Because if I'm not pushing myself,
"then what ends up happening is other people pass me."
And it wasn't just competitive for him.
'Cause I said, "Is that it?
"It's just you gotta beat other people as an ego thing?"
He goes, "No, no, no, because Brendon, they look to me."
He said, "They look to me for inspiration.
"They look to me for leadership,
"they look at me as a role model."
If I let off and I fall into a comfort zone,
not only will I probably not be in this, I won't last,
because it is so competitive.
But I also won't be able to inspire the people around me.
And at some point, I'll get bored.
And as he was describing all that,
I was like wow, how many times in my life
I've heard high performers talk like that.
He's not saying, I push myself so hard 'cause I wanna win.
That's not what he said.
I push myself so hard because I'm scared
of the people replacing me, that's not what he said.
Pushed himself because he wanted to grow,
but he also knew he was a role model.
People were watching him.
I want you to think about any level of growth
that you're really gonna have in life.
They only way you sustain it and keep breaking through,
is it's a necessary thing for you.
I mean, look at how many people who start a great
New Year's ambition.
It's an interest.
And they do, they step outside their comfort zone.
They go to the gym, one, two, three times.
They take those first baby steps.
But they don't stick to it because it wasn't real for them.
It wasn't necessary to become healthy.
A lot of people become very healthy,
the most healthy in their life after surviving something.
Broken their leg, got sick, saw somebody die,
and they said, you know what, I gotta change.
And it became real for them.
And so I would like you to look at your life
in three areas and find your necessary.
Think about first your relationships.
Why is it necessary for you
to improve that relationship right now?
See most people they wait too late
in their life to find necessary.
So your partner walks out on you
and says, well I've been telling you to get better,
but you never got better.
And now all of a sudden it's, oh, let me make,
let me it better, I'll get better.
Waited too late to find necessary,
I gave you the chance, I'm outta here.
You never found necessary in your mind
so you never got better in that relationship.
Does that make sense?
People wait until tragedy, they wait until scarcity,
they wait until obligation,
they wait until that very last moment,
because it's so much easier to be comfortable than to try.
So I'd like you think first of your relationships.
What relationship in your life
do you need to find you necessary in?
That decision, it's necessary for me
to be a better dad because why?
It's necessary for me to be a better wife because why?
It's necessary for me to be a better team leader
because why?
If you never asked that question
and you're not clear about why it's important to you,
obviously we know from everything we've studied
in psychology, you lose motivation.
There's no reason, there's no drive,
there's no ambition and expectancy
that we're gonna reach it.
There's no motivation.
And so you're relationship, what's necessary?
Now think about your career.
Why is it necessary for you to be excellent at what you do?
Why, can you articulate it?
Can you journal on it today?
After this video, maybe you can sit down.
What's my necessary in my world right now for my career?
Think about your health.
Why is it necessary for this year
to be the year you get healthier?
Why, why is it this year?
Right now you're gonna quit smoking.
Why is it this year you're gonna
stop drinking all your calories.
Why is it this year you're gonna stop overeating, why?
Why is it necessary?
Because look, if you're just gonna fall back
in your comfort zone, you're just gonna keep smoking,
keep drinking the calories, keep overeating.
You're gonna stop working out
because it's easier, it's easier.
This is the path that feels so good.
It's the path of least resistance.
But it also leads to early death.
It also leads to relationships that are unfulfilling.
It also leads to careers that are minimal
and never scaled to their appropriate level
because no one knew what was necessary.
I work harder than I need to.
This, it could be easy, I could live everyday
in the Caribbean, have my pina colada.
As soon as it hits noon, I don't feel so guilty.
Noon, boom I'm having me a pina colada no problem.
I could do that everyday of my life now.
But you know what, I wouldn't be fulfilled.
You know what, I wouldn't fulfill my destiny.
You know I wouldn't fulfill my potential.
You know I wouldn't be here with you guys.
Because for me it's necessary, I work harder.
I focus, I develop, I practice.
It is a fundamental identity of a high performer.
To know what is necessary now for me to develop,
to grow, to give, to connect.
And if you have not clarified that,
that is why you don't have more motivation.
(upbeat music)
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