Waching daily Feb 1 2019

You never love at first sight for me, right?

Hi I'm Val, and I'm 28 this year.

And from young, I believed that love is a choice, not a feeling.

We met at Ngee Ann Red Camp.

So we didn't like each other because I didn't like his personality.

Few months later, we bumped into each other again.

We were already hanging out a lot and then he said this line,

"You're the angel sent by God to me."

But I said, "Sorry I don't date Malays and I don't date guys younger than me."

He said, "I will make you eat your words."

One day, we were walking back to Ngee Ann, I just held his hand.

So then ya lor, like that lor.

Eventually, I realised Dan had a lot of emotional baggage with him.

It made him become very involved with other girls lah.

I decided that I need to put a stop also,

because it was not good for me lah.

At that period, that was when I found out I was pregnant.

So, I was turning 20.

All throughout the 9 months, I actually didn't know I was pregnant,

because I didn't have any symptoms.

Until one day, where...

I had a little, like, little, very very little bump.

And then he said, "We should go check it out."

When I went into the room, the lady said, "Oh you're pregnant."

And then I just let out a laugh like,

"Huhhh, what?!"

3 days later, I gave birth to Nasya.

My mum was very stunned, she nearly fainted.

Our parents met up, and then Dan's dad said that-

he wasn't really for the idea for Dan to raise a baby because he's still young.

So I decided that I'd raise Nasya alone.

For the first two years of Nasya's life,

we were just in contact to update each other-

on how Nasya is lah.

I didn't want to force Dan to marry me was because,

I felt that I don't want next time when we-

When we go into the marriage,

we will start to look back and regret that,

"Eh, we shouldn't have done this."

Or got married too early, y'know?

It's very ironic because the more I went through all this with him,

the more I loved him.

You don't have to be with a person to love them.

It's not about possessing them.

It's really about understanding them and,

what they really need at that time of their life.

I really have no words to say for when-

we came into that conclusion that we weren't gonna continue this.

Did I love Val throughout this entire time?

I mean if I say no, that's a lie ah.

Having the thought of Nasya calling someone else Daddy,

was not a really nice thing to have.

I went to my best friend,

I kept telling him that it really sucks to-

not be around when she's growing up.

To be honest like I didn't-

I didn't think that I would ever have him back in my life lah.

Christmas 2013, my mum said, "Bring him back."

And I was like, "What?!"

Because she hated him to the bones lah.

It was very different from when we were dating,

because he was already a changed person by then.

Dan used to be a very hot-tempered person.

He will always wanna avoid the issues in our relationship.

But then when he came back,

he started to make the effort to communicate with me lah.

So when I talk to him, he will actually like,

sit in a position that is facing me,

instead of away from me.

Loving Nasya…

Every time when he see her,

he will never hold back his affection.

Even when she's asleep in his arms,

he will just stare at her.

That was how I know that,

a man like that, last time bochup bochup (don't really care),

and then now, it's just very different.

It's no longer just me working hard for the relationship.

Now it's more like,

I'm loving a man that also is trying his best to love me.

We only got married in 2015.

3 years after we got married, Noelle was born.

Because we were thinking that Nasya is now ready to have a sibling.

Having kids is like a testimony of your love, you know?

And I wanted to make a family with this man.

At the age of 18,

my view of love is, of course, like just,

give my all to that person.

Being young right, it's a lot about your feeling-

that that person gives you.

And then you think that it's love.

With the birth of Nasya,

it made me realise that it's not about sacrificing yourself.

It's about learning to love yourself first.

Now it's more of like a…

I think through it and I know like,

this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

There's no other person that I can see myself spending my life with.

And that's why it's more of a choice than a feeling lor!

Bye!

For more infomation >> Being In Love Is A Choice | Inspiring Women In Singapore - Duration: 4:10.

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