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Bhārata prabhutva śākhalu vāṭi adhipatulu
"A Man from Joseon."
Hello.
I'm a housewife in my 30s
with 3 and 4-year-old daughters.
I spend my days looking after my kids,
but once it's 6, I start to panic.
I completely panic.
"Oh, darn it!"
I told you to have my meal ready
so that I can eat as soon as I get home."
"I'm sorry. I was busy feeding the baby."
"Get my meal ready in 3 minutes."
My husband, who's more terrifying than a tiger,
always makes me anxious and antsy.
"Look at all this dust.
What do you do at home all day?
Look at the refrigerator.
What's wrong with this?"
He inspects the house and nags at me.
But this is what I can't stand.
"Honey.
Come massage my feet."
Oh my.
- He doesn't do anything. / - Oh my.
"What?
I'm tired, too.
Massage my legs first."
"I'm a man!
Men aren't supposed to do such things."
(What is he talking about?)
Are we living in the Joseon Dynasty?
He is so patriarchal that he thinks that men and
women have different tasks. Please change him.
This is her concern.
I felt so frustrated last night.
I got an empty stomach after reading this.
- You were frustrated? / - Yes.
So I had chicken before I went to bed.
- You fixed it with chicken? / - Yes.
What do you think, Joy and Seulgi?
- I don't like him. / - He's awful.
Joy is angry right now.
No one would love him.
You wouldn't fall in love with a man like him?
No.
I wouldn't fall in love with him.
(His lips faintly curl up)
What if he changes after you get married?
- Many people do change. / - That's worse.
That would be a serious problem.
Faker!
Are you patriarchal?
What are you like? Answer us.
I'm not patriarchal.
I actually don't like that.
Is there a game term that
you would like to say to him?
He's a bit of a troll.
What's that?
What does that mean?
How can I explain this?
(I think I know that word)
Troll?
What?
Troll!
How do I explain it?
If you can't explain it, why'd you say it?
(Sorry, emperor of games)
Let's bring her out.
Please come on out.
Dohyun, could you please escort her?
(Jeong Eunmi)
Is your husband really patriarchal?
Yes. I feel like I'm living in the Joseon Dynasty.
He wasn't patriarchal when we dated.
He was sensible and kind.
So all the chores at home...
I'm the one who looks after both girls.
When I ask for help,
he refuses, saying that he's a man.
Why did he change?
That's not all. He nags at me a lot, too.
Nagging.
Dinner must be ready
by the time he comes home,
so he calls me.
"My blood sugar is low,
so prepare my dinner by the time I get home."
But it's hard because I have two young babies.
Sure.
I look after them and
they want me to play with them.
When my husband gets home, he gets mad
that dinner isn't ready on time.
He also says, "Did you really clean the house?"
and goes like this.
- He goes like this? / - Yes.
He says the bathroom is too dirty
and follows me around to see how I do it.
He complains about the pots being too dirty
or the refrigerator not being organized.
(They're tired from the never-ending nagging)
Does he ever thank you
for your hard work?
No.
(That's terrible)
He even asks you to massage his feet?
He works in a construction site all day,
so I massage his feet every night for 10 minutes.
That's not all. He lies down
and asks me to get him things.
During the night, he gets hungry
and asks me to cook him ramen.
He could do it himself instead.
He gets mad if I don't eat with him.
I'm worried about her health.
Stress makes you get a burning rage.
It's hard to lose weight, too.
Everything she eats gets stored as fat.
(Right!)
I want her husband to know.
You emphasized the last part so much.
He goes to work at 5:30 a.m.
and asks me to watch him leave.
Oh my.
He asks you to wake up and watch him leave?
Yes.
Why?
He says that it's lonely to leave by himself.
(He controls everything)
He doesn't like leaving while everyone's asleep.
Why do you do it? Can't you refuse?
If I don't do it,
he slams the door and doesn't speak to me.
- He ignores me. / - He gets mad?
He makes me feel afraid.
(What am I going to do with him?)
He might have his own reason for doing so.
- He's here today, right? / - Yes.
The husband living in the Joseon Dynasty.
Hello.
Hello.
I'm Jeong Daehan, Daeun's dad.
Do you understand your wife's concern?
Not at all.
(It suddenly becomes quiet)
I don't know why I have to be
on national television either.
(He's adamant)
Is everything your wife said true?
What she said?
Yes.
You don't think it's a concern for her?
That's something she's supposed to do.
(He has a different point of view)
She's responsible for everything at home
and it's my duty to work hard at my job.
I work at a construction site.
I go to work at 6 a.m. and come back at 5 p.m.
It's physically and psychologically tiring.
She says that I'm patriarchal,
but ever since my grandfather was alive,
my father and I ate together while
my grandmother and mom ate separately.
I lived like that for years,
so it's natural for me.
Older people were patriarchal,
but they didn't nag.
They never told their wives to clean.
I nag because
I teach her how to do it,
but she never listens.
I am tired when I get home
and my meal isn't ready.
So I get very sensitive.
I'm sure it's the same for everyone when hungry.
I can't be perfect.
Sometimes, he leaves his clothes on the floor
for 3 days on purpose just so that
he can yell at me for not cleaning.
- On purpose? / - Yes.
Joy, ask him. She said he did it on purpose.
I... You see...
She doesn't want to speak to him.
(Correct)
(Feeling guilty)
I'm curious.
People nowadays are against being patriarchal.
What do you think about that?
Faker must be ahead of us because he's a gamer.
That was supposed to be our last question.
Your wife just told us that you do it on purpose
to yell at her.
- Yes, I did. / - On purpose?
Yes, I did.
I was hungry when I got home
and my dinner wasn't ready.
I was very upset and dizzy.
So I wanted her to feel bad
just like I did.
What did she do wrong? All she did was work hard.
(Poor wife)
When he's upset
and he's drinking water before dawn,
if a single spoon is dirty,
he wakes me up to wash them.
He flips over the spoon jar.
Like this?
Yes. He tells me to wash them all.
She doesn't wash them well enough,
that's why I do that.
- Does that make you feel better? / - Yes.
(They're speechless)
What happens
if you don't wash the spoons?
He goes crazy.
He makes things worse?
Yes, so I just do it.
(Oh no...)
What is your job at work exactly?
I'm a manager
at a construction site.
Before you became a manager,
you must've started from the bottom
and worked your way up.
When you were young,
wasn't it tough
when your manager yelled at you?
If he got angry at you?
I did my work well, so that never happened.
He's good at his work.
He's very consistent.
How does he discipline your daughters?
When he's asleep on his days off,
the girls jump on him to play.
He cusses and yells at them.
To 3 and 4-year-old girls?
He gets mad, so the eldest is scared of him.
He spanked our younger daughter
for making a mess in her room.
A 3-year-old?
That's nothing.
Our eldest daughter hit our younger one.
Then he said, "You need to know how that feels."
And he did the same thing to her.
Where did he hit her?
She had kicked her sister's face.
He did the same thing.
He kicked her?
Sir!
(How can you do the same thing to her?)
- Sir! / - Yes?
What happened?
An eye for an eye. Is that it?
I may be rough,
but that's my way of disciplining them.
She must know how it feels
so that she never does it again.
That's why you kicked her in the face?
Yes.
(Shaking his head)
But you're much stronger than she is.
Your feet are bigger and smell more.
Do you not like the way
your wife raises your daughters?
In houses with two sons,
things are always crazy.
Our daughters are not that bad.
My wife raises two daughters,
so I don't know why she says it's hard.
You don't think it's hard for her
to run after two little ones all day long?
I'm sure it's hard.
I do feel bad.
- Why are you acting this way? / - Why?
(Everyone laughs out loud)
We haven't even gotten started yet.
Please stick to your original opinion.
Let's see how it ends.
Their friends are here.
We lived together before he got married.
So you know exactly how he is, right?
Yes.
He was kind and quite helpful at home.
I thought he was a family man.
I was surprised to hear how he is today.
He's surprised, too.
He completely changed.
He did chores at home and cooked.
He did almost everything by himself.
- Her husband? / - Yes.
Why do you think he doesn't do them now?
I guess the marriage was like a promotion.
Oh, getting married was a promotion?
Did he ever nag at you?
No. I actually nagged at him.
(I just don't get it)
What did he make that was good?
Soybean paste soup and seafood soup.
Did he ever cook those for you?
Soybean paste soup. But not seafood soup.
He made soybean paste soup at home.
It's vague because he did it at least once.
He shouldn't have done that.
All right.
Now, we have someone from the wife's side.
(Wife's younger sister) When I lived with them
they were quite close.
But he would yell at her at times
for not cleaning well enough.
My sister did the dishes well,
but I guess it wasn't enough for him.
Everything must meet his standards.
Things must be cleaned to his standards?
I was very upset many times.
My sister is
very nice. She's so fragile.
I want her to stand up to him.
But she doesn't?
She doesn't.
She cries to herself a lot.
She would...
- Complain to you? / - Yes.
She does look like a nice person.
In your opinion, how do you want
the two of them to change?
I want them to do house chores together.
My sister works part-time, too.
- What? / - She works part-time.
What part-time job do you do?
I work at a restaurant for 3 hours during the day.
My husband controls all the finances.
I have severe hair loss,
so I want to get treatments for it.
But he won't let me get that $300 treatment.
Did you know that she works part-time?
Yes, I knew.
I told her not to do it, but she wanted to.
You didn't give her money.
Joy spoke up for the first time.
Couldn't you give her money to spend?
I do.
She said that you don't.
I gave her a check card
and a family credit card.
It sounds like he has given you money
for you to spend.
I must ask for permission every time I spend it.
It's better for me to earn my own money.
You have to ask for permission every time?
Yes, when I spend a large amount.
Were you so stressed that you have hair loss?
I've been living with my mother-in-law for...
- You live with your mother-in-law? / - Yes.
- In the same house? / - Yes.
I told you that we haven't even gotten started.
I must look after her and my two daughters.
She must help out with the kids, right?
She must help out with the kids, right?
(A deep sigh)
I guess not.
She has early-stage dementia.
She can communicate and walk.
What a relief.
I have to change her diapers
and clean her up after she does her business.
You bathe her, too?
Yes, I do.
My husband doesn't do anything.
When she coughs at night, I have to go check on her.
He wakes you up when she coughs?
Yes. He asks me to go check on her.
- But it's his mother. / - Yes.
You should tell him
to go check on her himself.
He said, "I'm her son. I'm a man."
What does that have to do with anything?
It's his own mother.
(I'm frustrated)
I know things are hard for her,
but it's her duty.
She's her mother-in-law.
She's older than we are.
- Then you... / - Let's hear him out first.
Don't get angry, everyone.
I'm holding back as well.
Joy, you can hold yourself back.
Okay.
You're her son.
Can't you look after her yourself?
I'm a man.
(That same excuse again)
My wife is a woman, like my mother.
She can do things that I can't.
I'm sure my mother feels more comfortable
having my wife help her out.
Yes, I'm glad you said that. I'll ask you this.
Since your mother-in-law and your wife are women
it's understandable for her to bathe your mother.
But if your mother coughs at night
you shouldn't wake her up.
As her son, you can go check on her.
Right.
It's annoying and I'm tired.
You two weigh about the same.
I'm tired all the time
and I have to go work early.
It's annoying for us, too.
How would you feel
if your daughters grow up
and live like your wife does now?
If I have to wash dirty spoons at dawn,
I'd be miserable.
I do know that I should help her.
But I'm always tired.
She's tired, too.
Does he ever comfort or compliment you?
Like, "You worked hard today,"
or, "It must've been so tough."
- No. / - Not at all?
I've never heard him say that.
Oh gee.
(Pitiful)
You really are Super Woman.
How many hours do you sleep at night?
About 6 hours?
But not straight.
I wake up every hour.
That's what I think, too.
That's not really sleeping then.
What I'm worried about is that
their father is the only man
who is in the girls' lives.
They might think this is how everyone lives.
When they meet men in the future,
they might grow up to think that
men who are like their dad are right for them.
What position do you think you have
in the family?
I'm the leader and the breadwinner.
What is your role then?
I'm the hope of the family.
Right? How do you think things are now?
Do you think your wife and your kids are
afraid of you when you are home?
Or do you think they happily wait for you?
I think they are scared of me.
Exactly.
I'm saying this because I feel bad for you.
Don't think that you can go on like this.
How much more will she put up with this?
You must've had extreme thoughts.
I came today as my last straw.
Your last straw?
What if he still doesn't change?
Then I have to think of getting a divorce.
- It's that hard? / - Yes.
- You're close to calling it quits? / - Yes.
I am surprised to hear the word "divorce."
What about you?
In the future, I should help with the kids...
No, we're not talking about the future.
Your wife uttered the "D" word for the first time.
You know that she is a kind woman, right?
She isn't all that kind.
(He still doesn't know what's going on)
Oh, come on!
(He's hopeless)
She's more naive than others, right?
- She's more naive? / - Yes.
The fact that she's thinking of divorce
means she's really having a hard time.
It's tough for him to respond to that
because he's been living in his own world.
He thinks that everyone else is the same.
That's not his fault.
But now you know that it's wrong.
You should change now.
You should acknowledge your faults and
be able to apologize for them.
Okay. I will do my best.
If you have spare time,
what would you like to do with your husband?
I want to take a trip to Jeju-do.
We went there on our honeymoon
and I'd like to go there again.
I've never been on a honeymoon.
I'm so jealous.
When was the last time you went on a trip?
That was it.
- Your honeymoon? / - Yes.
- It's been 5 years. / - Yes.
Does he show affection
or touch you often?
He does.
He nags but he's also affectionate?
Yes, he is affectionate.
He's very ambiguous.
"Our home is so dusty.
It's so dusty!"
"Clean the place properly!"
It's ambiguous.
(They are quite an ambiguous couple)
Imagine this.
You go to Jeju-do and you are by yourselves.
(Let's go together)
We're oranges and persimmons.
Tangerines and oranges.
- Slap. / - You're a pineapple.
You are there by yourselves.
Tell him what you want from him.
I want you to help me with the girls
and nag at me less.
What other wish do you have
Would you like your time alone?
It's tough caring for my mother-in-law
and the kids.
(Speechless)
It's hard because I have no one to talk to.
I want him to listen to what I have to say,
but he doesn't.
He gets angry when I talk about his mom.
I tell him about my day and he says,
"So what?" and gets mad at me.
When I talk about his mother,
he doesn't like it.
- Why do you get mad? / - You don't want to know?
I'm listening to how bad my mom has gotten.
I realize how far her illness has advanced.
But you should know that.
Do you want to deny it?
Or is it because you feel bad for her
and hearing that makes you feel worse?
Is that why you don't want to talk about it?
I do feel bad.
I know how hard she works.
Then you should tell her that.
"Oh, that's what you've been through."
I'm not good at expressing my emotions.
But you do it well when you're angry.
Don't try to get away with it.
I know how you feel,
but you must treat your wife that way.
My mother passed away 4 years ago.
When she was ill,
my wife nursed my mother.
I was so grateful that I didn't mind
working until very late.
(Me working until late is nothing)
After my mother passed away,
I have a new kind of love for my wife.
I am so grateful to her,
so I look at her differently now.
I think I love her even more now.
Can you do what your wife wants you to do?
Can you listen to her and comfort her?
Yes, I will do my best.
Can you do that for her now?
(Show your effort right now)
Thank you, honey.
I am grateful to you.
I've never said it,
but I am always grateful to you.
I love you.
Let's start with Johan.
(Johan's opinion / It's a concern!)
What I'm concerned about is...
Who pressed the button? Seulgi?
- It wasn't me. / - It was me.
This is not a game. It's not.
A work-related disorder.
How would you describe this with a game term?
Butting in
when it's not your turn.
Trolling.
This is trolling.
- It's a concern. / - It's a concern.
I definitely think it's a concern.
What hurt me the most is that
she isn't living her own life.
I want her to find her own self now.
If you are mean to others,
it'll come back to haunt you.
Are you speaking from your own experience?
Yes.
(Sure, you must be nice to others)
We got actual statistics about home labor.
The value of a housewife's labor is $28,000 a year.
If you hire a nurse to take care of your mother,
that would cost $50-60 for a few hours.
Your wife isn't just lounging around at home.
She's earning more money than you are.
What do you want your husband to do for you?
I want to have free time on weekends.
For about 3-4 hours?
Is there something you want to do?
I just...
I just want to be by myself and do nothing.
4 hours is too long.
Maybe 3 hours.
You're so stingy for a man!
I'll let her have 4 hours to herself.
(We hope you change your behavior)
Consider letting her sleep in, too.
It costs $1,500 a month to hire someone to see you off.
If you can relate to this, press the button.
(What does the audience think?)
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Please stop.
Please show us how many votes they got.
I feel like he's from Goryeo, not Joseon.
(How many people related to this concern?)
100?
167 votes.
(They got 167 votes)
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