DARYN: Am I the only one worried about super-smart robots
turning on humankind and killing us all?
Because I can't shake the feeling
that once these self-taught AI bots
realize they don't need us anymore,
they're just gonna plug us into the Matrix
and make battery juice out of us.
Like that movie from the '90s...
"Shazam," starring Sinbad. Great movie.
And remember the video of the back-flipping robot?
Here's what tech nerd Elon Musk had to say
when he saw that video.
He tweeted, "This is nothing.
"In a few years, that bot will move so fast,
"we're gonna need a strobe light to see it.
"Sweet dreams..."
Now, Elon Musk loves tech,
and if he's scared, I'm scared.
We are so close to a future of robotic armies,
and automated everything,
and the morality of owning a self-aware sex robot.
And for the record, I'm anti-owning-a-sex-robot.
I did it once with my Roomba, and I regret it.
I'm out.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not totally anti-AI.
Like, there are things I can't wait for.
Take the driverless car.
I can't wait for that!
Why?
Because most of you watching this are terrible drivers.
And I know you're out there saying, [mumbling]...
"I'm a good driver!"
No, you suck!
I've been behind you in the left turn lane.
Get in the intersection!
There's a whole line of us who want to get through.
What are you...
Oh, now it's red. Thank you, thanks a lot.
See the difference is, computers don't see a cute dog
on the sidewalk and then wrap their Mini Coopers
around a hydro pole.
You do! Who do you trust more?
A computer that can park to within an inch of its target,
or your grandma ballparking a three-point turn
in a school zone?
Hey, look, I just want to kick back in the backseat of my Prius
and let HAL take me from point A to B,
while I post videos of myself lip-synching to a Pink song
as a poop emoji on Instagram.
Good luck getting all those references.
And think of all the cool stuff you can do in your car
if you don't have to drive.
You can just sit there and play Mario Kart
on your Nintendo Switch.
Because pretend driving is way more fun than really driving.
You can't throw bombs and red shells on the real roads.
Well, you can, but then CSIS will put you on a list.
I'm not allowed to fly to Buffalo anymore!
And another great thing about driverless cars:
finally I can rob a bank by myself.
I don't have to share the cash with my getaway man.
Just my car's driving itself, I'm in the passenger seat
counting money, my sex robot's hanging out the window
shooting at the cops.
It's amazing! Still not convinced?
Driverless cars will make your holiday trip to Red Deer
to see the in-laws way better.
Now you and your wife can get drunk!
"Oh, yeah, Aunt Susan, yeah, tell me more about, uh,
"the jam you've made.
"That's fascinating. Pass the whiskey."
So I guess what I'm saying is the future's not all bad,
but when we're chained up as a robot power supply,
just remember, I warned you!
And you didn't listen!
All because you wanted to have sex with a robot.
Well, I hope it was worth it, battery juice.
DARYN: Do you think a robot's gonna take your job?
WOMAN 1: Ah, no, not my job, but other jobs.
DARYN: You think you're safe?
You're so arrogant and cocky that you think
you're not gonna get stolen-- taken by the robots.
WOMAN 1: Well, I do, like, policy and planning,
and I feel like you can't do that as a robot.
DARYN: Amber, come and tell her the bad news.
This is Amber; she's a tech expert.
AMBER & WOMAN 1: Hi! DARYN: Okay, systems planning,
is she gonna lose her job to a robot?
AMBER: Well, I would say that maybe 50% of your job
may be automated over the next few years.
While you may not lose your job, you are at risk
and maybe want to get new skills soon.
DARYN: Do you have any, like, uh, hobbies?
WOMAN 1: Uh, yeah, volleyball.
AMBER: Well, you could go into volleyball. [laughter]
It's a professional sport!
WOMAN 1: I'm not a pro, but maybe I could work on that.
AMBER: Although I will say, I don't know if you've seen
the Boston Dynamics robot that knows how to do back flips.
DARYN: I hate that robot. AMBER: He probably knows how--
or she knows how to play volleyball too.
DARYN: See, you can't even play volleyball,
cause robots play volleyball.
WOMAN 1: Poor me. Well, thanks, guys.
You really brightened my day. [laughter]
DARYN: Okay, have a great day. [laughter]
DARYN: Amber, they're architects;
they work in the design part of the architecture landscape.
Are they gonna lose their jobs to robots?
AMBER: Uh, I think you should be somewhat concerned.
Because the reality is that we are now seeing AI
that is going to have human-like capabilities.
That means that robots will be able to think for themselves;
they will be able to design, and they'll be able to do it
even better than humans,
because they have so much information to base it on.
So it's bad news for both of you.
MAN 1: Um, artistically, 'cause there's an artistic side
for architecture, right?
DARYN: Amber, tell them the truth.
AMBER: Well, I think that humans think we are the smartest
of all of the beings, but the reality is that...
MAN 1: Oh, no, I'm not saying that! [laughs]
AMBER: Even artistically, the artists have the ability--
or the robots have the ability to be even more artistic
in many ways, because they're able to scan
all of the art that has been done
for thousands and thousands of years and use it to build and
design something even better. MAN 1: Oh, really?
DARYN: The robots are gonna crush us.
You know that, right? WOMAN 2: I know that, um...
DARYN: What are you studying?
WOMAN 3: Ryerson for architecture.
DARYN: Do you think robots are gonna take your job,
before you even have a chance to do it?
WOMAN 3: Uh...
DARYN: This is Amber. She's gonna drop some bad news.
AMBER & WOMAN 3: Hi.
AMBER: I have some really bad news for you.
Especially in the field of architecture,
robots will potentially in the next five to ten years
be able to do a lot of the work that you're studying to do.
WOMAN 3: Oh, my God! DARYN: [laughs]
DARYN: Does it make you scared? WOMAN 3: Yeah, a little bit.
DARYN: Hey, you're still young. You can like, you know,
learn a trade, I don't know. WOMAN 3: Yeah.
DARYN: Plumbing, plumbing...
Oh, robots will do plumbing. AMBER: Yes, they'll do that too.
But good luck with other things.
DARYN: Elizabeth, what do you know about AI?
ELIZABETH: I know that, uh, I'm extremely interested in it.
I don't know too, too much about it,
but it seems like it's the newest industry
that's coming up.
DARYN: Well, what do you do for a living?
ELIZABETH: I exotic dance. DARYN: Okay.
This is a new one, Amber. You're an exotic dancer.
Do you think your industry will be replaced by robots?
ELIZABETH: I do not. DARYN: Okay.
ELIZABETH: I do not. DARYN: Why do you think that?
ELIZABETH: Because nothing can, um,
replace the human touch.
AMBER: Well, I will just say, at CES this year in Las Vegas,
which is the Consumer Electronic Show,
it was the first show ever, of all time,
where they actually had robot exotic dancers,
that were "stripping" on stage. ELIZABETH: Wow.
DARYN: The sex robot industry is, like, booming now!
That's all I read about, is the sex robots.
Can you tell us about sex robots?
AMBER: Yeah, I mean, it's absolutely booming.
If you look in places like Japan, we see sex robots,
we see robots for companionship.
'Cause it could be like a joint,
exotic dance that you did with the robot.
ELIZABETH: Yeah, I mean, I think that would actually be cool.
AMBER: Right! That'd be sexy.
WOMAN 4: I don't think robots are gonna do my job.
I can't see people going to therapists and going to say,
"This is my problem today,"
and getting an automated response to that
working for you as a therapist.
DARYN: See, to me, that sounds amazing.
AMBER: So, here is the bad news, is that we've seen
many studies where they're able to use artificial intelligence
to actually help robots even look into people's eyes
and detect what's bothering them.
DARYN: I have a Roomba, and I'm gonna throw it in the trash
in honour of people like you, who are fighting the robots.
WOMAN 4: Thank you. [laughs] DARYN: You're welcome.
DARYN: Roberto, what do you do for a living?
ROBERTO: Uh, myself, I'm a massage therapist.
DARYN: Can you hit me with some shoulder?
ROBERTO: Right here. [inaudible]
DARYN: Aw, dude, for real.
Damn, this is... this is real.
So you feel 100% confident
that a robot will never take your job?
ROBERTO: Is there a percent higher than 100?
DARYN: Ooh, my man Roberto is cock-y!
AMBER: Okay, so I feel like those massage chairs
are like the early days of robots taking over jobs,
when it comes to a masseuse.
But I actually kind of agree with you,
that it's going to be difficult to actually create a robot
that has that same kind of tactile touch.
They'll use computer vision to look at Daryn and say,
"Hey this-- he's standing weird.
"I can recognize right away where he needs help,"
and he's gonna get to work.
DARYN: But will the robot know what kind of oil to use?
Or, like, the scents? They will know that.
Do you think robots are gonna kill us all eventually?
ROBERTO: Um... mmm...
Yes. Absolutely.
AMBER: I think it's gonna be a few decades,
but you're exactly right. When the robots decide
that they need new materials,
to make something that they've been tasked with making,
they may look to humans and say, "Hey, I see atoms,
"I'm gonna destroy you, because I need to continue my task."
["my task" echoing] [explosion]
DARYN: So should we want to stop the robots, Amber?
AMBER: Uh, I don't think so. There's not much we can do,
except for enjoy our final years here on Earth.
[explosion]
DARYN: A lot of businesses are moving towards
automated security, which is a shame.
Can a pass card ask you how your day was?
Nah, no.
The human touch is needed now more than ever.
I'll show you what I mean. Come with me on my rounds.
It's head-cracking time.
DARYN: You good? Security.
Good? You good?
Secure, everything good?
You all good? You need anything?
No. Good.
Secure. Great!
It's okay, you go ahead. I got this--
this place is secure. Go ahead, it's fine.
It's totally fine.
You go ahead. You go ahead, sir.
File a-- file a grievance.
I am not getting involved.
[smacking sound]
DARYN: It's good.
Excuse me, do you know the CBC handshake?
MAN 2: Yeah.
♪
DARYN: Have a nice day.
I'm scanning. Robots can't scan like I can.
You good, secure? Everything good?
You all right? Good.
[beeping]
DARYN: Yeah, we got an-- we need to see you
take your shoes off please, extra security.
WOMAN 5: You want me to take them off?
DARYN: Yeah, I'm sorry, ma'am, I'll look away.
Go ahead.
DARYN: Just extra security.
Hate to do this, ma'am, I'm sorry.
But you understand.
Security.
Other one, please.
DARYN: The socks are fine.
The socks are fine.
No, that's good. I appreciate this.
I'm sorry. It's not me, it's my boss.
Looks good.
Let me just wand your, uh, your socks.
Are these Christmas socks?
Oh, they're matches. WOMAN 5: Yeah.
DARYN: What does that mean? WOMAN 5: I'm on fire.
DARYN: To me, it sounds like shoe bomb.
Is that what you're doing here?
What's up, fellows? Just a quick routine, routine.
[beeping] DARYN: Yeah, very good.
[beeping] MAN 3: We good?
DARYN: Yeah, good. Have a great day.
DARYN: You're good, you're good. You're good.
DARYN: Yeah, good. [beeping]
DARYN: Good, we're good. We're good.
[beeping]
DARYN: Sandwich inspection. What do you got there for lunch?
MAN 4: Some meatballs.
DARYN: Open 'er up, let's have a look.
That looks good. Can you just take a bite
to prove that it's not... Man 4: Contraband?
DARYN: Yeah, try the sandwich, sir.
DARYN: Okay, you're clear for takeoff.
Thank you, sir.
MAN 4: Have a good one, man. DARYN: Have a great day.
Thank you for everything you've done.
We got a report that someone's not washing
their hands here at the CBC.
Would a robot be able to do this task?
No, no, no. This is all me.
[exhales] This could be ugly.
Come on in, we're looking for evidence.
This is the kind of human investigating
you can't get with a damn robot.
Looks good, looks good.
Okay-- oh, problem spot,
we got a problem spot here at the CBC.
I'm putting that in my report.
Good, good, good...
Good. Wait a second.
Oh, no.
Am I the culprit?
Oh, no...
DARYN: It's time for a dramatic chase montage!
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
DARYN: Ooh!
♪
DARYN: Oh!
Okay, enough of this nonsense. [panting]
Montage is over.
Oh, what a dumb idea. [panting]
♪
DARYN: Alright, gang, I want to introduce you
to my new best friends, Rob Norman, Andrew Norton,
hosts and creators of the CBC original podcast
called Personal Best .
Explain the podcast.
ANDREW: It's a self-help show.
It's a self-help show for people who don't like self-help.
ROB: Yeah.
Yeah, we take a small problem, like waking up on time,
and we go to extreme lengths to try and solve that problem.
DARYN: The other interesting thing...
Andrew, you're absurdly tall, aren't you?
ANDREW: I am very tall. I'm sitting right now.
DARYN: How tall are you?
ANDREW: I'm six foot six and a half.
DARYN: Stand up, please. ANDREW: Yeah, okay.
DARYN: Look at that! He's like...
two humans!
And now, you guys did a podcast all about AI, yeah?
ROB: Right. Yeah, we did a podcast
about machine learning. And so basically,
when you have a computer,
you put a whole bunch of rules into that computer,
and it figures out, um, what to do next...
with machine learning, it takes a bunch of different stimuli
and creates rules based on those things,
and makes up the rules so it can anticipate the next thing.
DARYN: Right, that's AI. Do you know what a Chatbot is?
ROB: I remember from ICQ back in the day, there was a Chatbot.
DARYN: CBC is creating a self-learning,
super-intelligent AI Chatbot,
where you can talk to the Canadian icon of your choice.
How would you like to spend your afternoon
chatting with Don Cherry?
ROB: I'd love to. ANDREW: Sure.
ROB: I'd love to. DARYN: Right?
DARYN: Ask Don Cherry how he's doing.
ROB: Oh, hey, Don Cherry.
CHERRY CHATBOT: Hello, I only like players from Canada
who wear a suit and tie to the rink.
Good Canadian boys. Good guys, good guys.
DARYN: That's pretty good. That's very close.
DARYN: Hey, Don, any Stanley Cup predictions?
CHERRY CHATBOT: Jets or Leafs, baby!
Good guys, good guys.
DARYN: Cool, that's great.
CHERRY CHATBOT: It's going to be a beauty.
DARYN: Alright, good to know.
There's a prediction from Don Cherry.
How about, um, David Suzuki?
David Suzuki, what's happening?
SUZUKI CHATBOT: The polar ice caps are melting
and 40% of all Canadian wildlife
will be extinct by 2030.
Oh my God, we are all going to die!
ROB: That's kind of a bummer man.
DARYN: No kidding. ANDREW: Yeah, wow.
DARYN: You guys wanna talk to Margaret Atwood?
ANDREW: Thought you'd never ask.
DARYN: Uh, Margaret, how've you been?
ATWOOD CHATBOT: Time is frozen, you can never get away
from where you have been.
And watch Alias Grace at CBC.ca.
Based on my novel, Alias Grace .
Buy it today. DARYN: Wow.
I didn't think she'd be so consumeristic.
But anyways. ROB: Bit sell-y.
DARYN: Wow... Margaret Atwood, any other words of wisdom?
ATWOOD CHATBOT: We think of the past,
and it's the beautiful things we remember.
Also, don't forget to watch Alias Grace ,
based on my novel, Alias Grace .
Available in the E-store.
ROB: Oh, you know who we should get?
We should get Seth Rogen.
DARYN: Seth Rogen, he's a Canadian icon.
ROB: Right, there you go. ANDREW: Love him.
DARYN: Let's see if they developed him.
Uh, we'd love to talk to Seth Rogen.
Seth, what's up?
ROGEN CHATBOT: [laughing robotically]
I like to smoke weed. ROB: Accurate.
DARYN: Totally Seth Rogen. ROB: Good, that's good.
ANDREW: Scary good. Scary good.
DARYN: I gotta tell the tech people
they did a nice job there. ANDREW: Please do, yeah.
DARYN: Um, okay, let's do another icon.
Daryn Jones, hello?
DARYN CHATBOT: Hello Daryn Jones,
it is an honour to meet you.
DARYN: Oh... That's awesome, dude!
Thank you very much for that. That's a nice compliment.
How are you? You look great.
DARYN CHATBOT: You look better. DARYN: That's great.
You guys can go, I'm gonna chat with the, uh, the Daryn Chatbot.
DARYN CHATBOT: What are you doing?
ANDREW: Robbie's crutches?
Personal Best . Podcast.
DARYN CHATBOT: Who are those people?
DARYN: Yeah, they're, uh... they do a podcast.
Anyways, back to me.
Uh, so what else-- what do you like about me?
DARYN CHATBOT: I love everything about you.
DARYN: That is so cool. DARYN CHATBOT: Hair, clothes...
DARYN: That is so cool. DARYN CHATBOT: Muscles...
DARYN: Yeah, I got tons of time.
Okay, I'll call you when I get home and I'm in my bed.
Bye. DARYN CHATBOT: Bye, handsome.
♪
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