when I ask someone what do you want your love life a lot of women could tell you
what they don't want big time so we're looking at a profile we go no that's not
what I want and without that clarity of this is what
I want you miss really good men that's a huge issue for most women
thanks so much for tuning in again to our second act with Paige and Silke I'm
happy that Lisa Copeland is here for another segment on how to find love
after 50 thanks for staying with us Lisa oh my pleasure it's fun to be here with
you Silke well in case you missed our first segment we will link to that where
Lisa clarified that in order to start again you know you need to make
sure you heal and that you're ready to get out there now that we've determined
we're ready to get out there Lisa what's what's the next thing that we need to be
aware of that may have be different than when we were you know dating 20 years
ago well there's two things to be aware of and they both were all around men the
first one is understanding who these over-50s men are and then the second one
is understanding who the right man is for you so are you saying that a mistake
that women make is expecting or looking for the kind of man they first date you
know that we were dating in our 20s or 30s well that is a big problem that we
are still looking for that kind of guy because we don't see ourselves aging
because and we don't see our friends aging unless we haven't seen them in a
long time but nowadays with Facebook we see everybody every minute of their life
that so we're shocked when we go online and we see these people that look like
our parents and grandparents but we really do look like that but we don't see it
because our hair is long, we wear jeans so we get out into the dating world and we're looking for that hot
studly guy and in over 50 dating there can be attractive but we're all aging
and we are all looking a lot different so and women and men get
a little messed up on this point of view and they go on a date and they're
looking for hot chemistry or this huge attraction factor and for women
as you get to know a man yes and get to know his personality he becomes more
attractive to you you know that is such a great point that you just made and my
friend Karen who's been in the show a lot she I helped her online date at 59
and that is exactly you described her to a tee that I mean that so thank you for
bringing that up she and I shouldn't mind me telling you this but if she's an
attractive woman she you know at 59 very healthy fit etc and you know we're going
through the pictures she's oh my God look at all these old men who's that
coming out you said Karen this one's like two years younger than you and and
she is with and I'm happy to say with it with a man now that she met online on
match they're perfect for each other I mean they're like meant to be but
that's only because she was you know I kept pushing her to not give up and then
she'd go out with somebody that she may not be initially like not that she
wasn't attracted to him but it wasn't like this oh wow he's gorgeous so she
just made your case anyway I digress
a lot of women are actually looking for a needle in a haystack
you know when I asked someone what do you want your love life a lot of women
could tell you what they don't want big time and the problem is is if you
believe in the law of attraction the universe doesn't know the difference
between what you don't want and what you want so you need to focus on what you want
and oftentimes were not clear so we're looking at a profile we go no that's not
what I want and without that clarity of this is what
I want you miss really good men that's a huge
issue for most women and they also look for
chemistry now chemistry comes from our DNA coding
back in the day when we were young and when we were young but also back in the
day from the caveman days and what happened back then is you were looking
for someone that you could mate with and who would create strong children for
you because they had to survive and that was chemistry
truthfully chemistry nowadays is not as important it's nice to be attractive
chemistry can grow and that's a much better thing to slowly grow
chemistry what you really want is someone that's gonna be they're gonna
have fun with to support you through the ups and downs of life for you to support
them to have to go on vacations with go out with friends with and to be a great
companion and have a lot of fun as however you choose to make the relationship
chemistry is not sustainable it's a hormone that was all of this go back to
my two-year marriage which I mentioned in our first video I cried when he
laughed it was like the chemistry was so intense and if you have this kind of
chemistry with someone it feels good in the beginning but it doesn't let you
build a friendship and you need when you want to have a good relationship you
need a heart connection a friendship and some type of intimacy connection and the
three together is what gives you the potential and had I know this when I was
dating my second husband I would have said uh-oh we're missing a friendship
because it was all chemistry so when you work with your your clients your
coaching clients Lisa how do you help them identify that are there do you make
lists - I mean what what's a good I could take away tip that we can give our
viewers well we create together what's called a quality man template because
you need to get this clarity and it is more than just he has a certain job a
certain look in chemistry it has to be what's important to you what values
match because for you can have all the qualities on your list every single one
of them and the relationship doesn't work and probably the reason is is he
either has a deal-breaker or your values do not match each other's
values and that's a huge issue you really really need that and you can't
tell that from someone's picture that takes time to get to know you also have
to get really well aware of the type of man you're attracted to and probably
stay away from him that if you that type of man was good
for you you would be with him yeah and that's why we need to really go out
there and date all types of people but when women work with me and they create
this template with me what happens is is number one they're stopped looking for
the needle in the haystack all of a sudden they can see different men and
number two is that this more quality men start showing up there they're a better
match for them and if the chemistry's not there right away but the guy's got
everything on their template they stay with that and - and then the chemistry
has a chance to grow yeah no no exactly yeah that that was hard I remember that
was hard for me it was you know dating someone even as when I was young I
would never I never went out with anybody unless I thought I could marry
them of course I was young and stupid and then you time that's what your DNA
coding was for that yeah I we're coming to the end of this segment now and is
there anything you want to add about expectations managing your expectations
when you're putting yourself back out there get really clear on your values
because that is and how you want to feel around the man those are the two things
that they're really going to identify if he's a good fit for you and I'm not
saying the chemistry how you want to feel around the man I'm saying does he
make me feel good do I feel loved do I feel cherished do I feel adored or do I feel like
I'm defensive all the time you don't want someone like no matter how much
chemistry you have and also besides that the values you have to share each
other's values so if you don't your relationships gonna fall apart
yeah well Lisa thank you for that we will you stay with us now for one
more segment I'd like to start diving into you know what this online world
looks like now I know it's changed since I was out there so thanks for you know
staying over and we'll see you on the next segment of our second act with Paige and Silke
thanks again for joining us today I hope you found this information helpful if
you haven't already done so please just take one second to subscribe to our
channel buttons right over here and for more videos on finding love again after
50 please visit our website 2ndact.tv see you soon
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét