I'm thinking of people there that are popping in my head is like oh my god I
can totally see them doing that they're intimidated to go out there for you know
with rejection and what they might face but they're not intimidated you know
when they interview for a job thanks so much for tuning in again to our second
act with Paige and Silke I'm happy to say that Frank Wieger stayed over for
another segment talking about his seriously seeking soulmate program Frank
thanks for staying over thanks Silke it's so much fun I love talking about this stuff
well what I want to get into deeper here is is is a concept or analogy I suppose
you bring up that makes so much sense to me in terms of giving people confidence
to get out and and you know make a plan put it into action and finding or
creating their soul mate and that is what you say is that finding a mate is
like you know getting a great job start you know treating it as a job search tell
us what you mean by that well yeah actually when you stop and think about
it that that having a great marriage or relationship is the best job in the
world it can be the most rewarding the most
fulfilling the most passionate wonderful experience of all so if you're if you
want to use the metaphor I love the metaphor of like finding a job so first
of all if you want to find a job and you're starting out you say well what
kind of work do I want to do I mean in do do I have the talent and skills to do
this kind of work so assuming that you do then you say okay well then excuse me
I need to find companies that use people that have this kind of work and
companies what's the metaphor that well you let you need to find a partner yeah
that matches your skill set okay you know the type of work that you desire to
do maybe you want to have a relationship that doesn't mean for example if you're
a woman that doesn't mean you're a housewife
you may be a career woman and you don't want to do housework but so you
want to find a partner who will either share the chores or hire them out and so
so you need to think about all that stuff and that's part of it is to design
how you want how you want this job to be and does it does it require you to move
does it require you to stay in a certain I mean do you have requirements where
you might have to stay in a given location maybe you're taking care of
elderly parents or you have children or whatever so so you've got to take all
that into consideration and then of course you have to get your resume up to
date in that in the in the dating analogy that means that you really have
to know who you are and what you what you want in in the last thing when we
talked about the beliefs and values you have to know if there are some beliefs
that are getting in the way of you finding made some cultural mores that
really are not applicable I mean they're they're not true they just came from
cultural conditioning so the corporate culture
the corporate I'm thinking of people they're they're popping in my head is
like oh my god I could totally see them doing this they're intimidated to go out
there for you know with rejection and what they might face but they're not
intimidated you know when they interview for a job
so it's almost like changing your mindset to something that you're so
familiar with and applying it to finding a mate I love I'm sorry idea right you
know and and by knowing by polishing up your resume for example you can say oh
wow I did this I did this I've got these accomplishments I'm gonna
you know I'm a pretty good match you know - candidate - so then that that's exactly right
so that gives you the confidence to go out there and when you go on the job
interview you can say you know here's Who I am here's what I can do and of
course then that company wants to know well you go to the interview and excuse
me and then put on nice clothes and you know good you dress the part dress the
part yeah so you go looking nice and you put on your your your game face and you
get out there and you do it so that's kind of like going on a
date and then if you get a callback then that's when it gets really
interesting because they want to know if you can do the job for them and you want
to know if you can work in their corporate culture I mean you mentioned
corporate culture is a casual or is it corporate is it you know do they have
Human Resources what kind of vacation plan health plan all that stuff and see
that all dates to you know and how are the people that you would be working
with well in the dating analogy that's the friends and the family you know you
wanna you want to meet their friends and you want to meet their family and how do
they interact with that how do they interact with the waitstaff on the in
the restaurant when you go out to dinner you know all that stuff all piles into
how how's your corporate culture so then you get the call back and then you want
to know what's going on and it really takes more than one interview so then
you decide what you and then you start negotiating what we're salary and all
that other stuff so it's really kind of a really good analogy for the whole
dating process and if you kind of look at it that way you say well you know
maybe I want to interview with a couple other company companies so you go
looking around and that's just kind of the idea I thought it was kind of a fun
analogy well it's not just fun it's you can actually know with a little bit of
sense of humor you can almost approach a first date
like that and talk about that you know it's almost like you know I got this bit
of advice from this you know really cool guy Frank we course he said I should
play you know and that could be a fun icebreaker Wiegers you know it's
something you could laugh at I mean have you told people that well no I never had
that's a good idea - a tip from me - right so Silke said - people have I find that sometimes you
know people aren't natural socialites or you know it is that first those first
conversations are are difficult so if you have something else that you can
talk about and get to where you really want to
get to well why not yeah and and I think the same thing on a job interview
you know the idea is you of course you talk about the job so you've got
something there to talk about but then most of the interviewers want
to know about your background and where you come from and your family and what
your hobbies are and what you like to do they want to know what kind of a person
are they dealing with here so it's the same thing well and what comes to mind
there what would people tell you in job interviews you know is to ask questions
about the company as well right you know that's so good because I always tell
guys I said you know if you want to get a woman interested in you you have to be
interested in her and ask her questions about herself I love that analogy and
this is something that you teach in in the seriously seeking soulmate ...yeah and it's all
part of the action plan I mean there's all kinds of tips and strategies and
do's and don'ts and and things that you do when you're actually out there after
you've done all the work to prepare yourself so you know what you want and
who you are you had the conviction and confidence then you get into the focused
action part and that's where you know you know here's some dating strategies
here are things to ask and I actually have a whole list that I got from the
New York Times actually on questions to ask your potential partner to develop
intimacy so so there's a you know the whole thing on creating the soulmate is
that you have to test that person to see if it's really there if you don't do the
test then well you could be leaving yourself wide open for you know
something that doesn't work out we don't like that no no well Frank I you know I
I can't wait till the program comes out I I'm happy to recommend it you're
always so full of good advice of course you bring so much experience to this and
frankly somebody at you know my age and I'm about to be sixty and I would find
it difficult at this point in my life to take advice from somebody much younger
than me I'm sorry I I want to talk to has actually gone through this and
that's when what reason why I so you know happily recommend you in counseling
others because you bring that experience to the table and of course we will link
to your information to the new site seriously seeking soulmate dot com will be
in the video description Frank is there anything that you want to add on this
segment before we go on to our next one well yes and the the key again is take
action you know if you polish up your resume and figure out where you want to
go look and get out there and start looking well and so if the whole concept
of turning this into a job search makes more sense and may gives you that
confidence go out there and do it like Frank said we'll see you next time on
our second act with Paige and Silke
thanks so much for watching if you haven't already done so please be sure to subscribe to our Channel
buttons right over here and for more information on finding love again after
50 please visit our websites 2ndact.tv see you soon bye bye
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