Hi mermaids, welcome back to my channel.
If you're new here, my name is Jude, hello,
it is the end of 20gayteen, and the beginning
*whispers* of 20biteen
*airhorn noises*
So, I'm really excited
I do this video every year if you're new here, like a lot of you are
I gained a lot of subscribers this year
I do a thing where I reflect on 2018 in the form of lessons and then talk about goals for
2019 or 20biteen, i'm so excited
if you're wondering about this makeup should go over to my Instagram
And see the photo that I posted either yesterday or today when this video is going up.
I think 2018 -- it was a year of rapid growth
It was a year of things happening that I wasn't even ready to happen
and like certain things coming true that I just wasn't ready for
and didn't know were happening and I think that it's gonna continue in 2019
so it's gonna be good, it's gonna be real good
and I'm excited that all of you are here
if you want to bring some people into the family, I mean the subscribe button is right there
just saying
So one of the lessons I learned in 2018 was to take it easy and that I don't have all the answers
I'm very used to being
The person that has all the answers and the person that like people come to for help if that makes sense
So I'm very used to being that person but sometimes I don't have all the answers.
And that's okay, it's okay to be uncomfortable with not having the answers.
The next thing I learned was listening to my gut
I learned this year to follow my intuition and if it feels strongly about something
That it's probably right
I trusted some people this year, but I probably shouldn't have trusted like it was a whole thing
And I feel like I say this every year but like we're following our intuition in 2019
I learned that sometimes people need things
more than you do so they take it from you and that's okay
you can grieve and move on from it
and it's gonna hurt and it's gonna suck but like that's life and
Karma is karma and karma exists so yeah,
I'd like to continue to surrender to the universe
because she's never steered me wrong, and I'm continuing to get great things
So we're gonna keep doing that. It's a good thing we're gonna keep doing that.
I learned that if I'm comfortable than I need to switch it up
It means that I'm-- I'm at the peak of learning that thing
that skill and so now it's time to learn something else
I grow the most as a human through discomfort as we all do so
I think that one of the lessons was to continue putting myself in uncomfortable situations not unsafe
Uncomfortable. There's a difference.
I learned that no one can tell me who I am if I already know who I am
Especially for the kind of work that I do
Like people on the internet want to tell me who I am all the time, but like you don't know me
I know me, you're wrong.
Oh, I have my lessons and stuff on my laptop, which is why I keep looking in this direction
I learned real real fast that some people haven't learned to deal with their own discomfort
and their own problems like adults and
it's not my job to teach them how
it's not my job to teach you how to
Be a person and learn how to deal with your emotions
Not my job, and I learned that in 2018 because some people got me fucked up.
I'm not for all markets
I learned that in 2018 and I knew that but like I really learned that in 2018. I'm probably getting that as a tattoo
I learned that my past
will decide to come back up whenever it decides to come back up and
It's my job to choose whether or not I'm gonna wallow in it or move forward
I've dealt with a lot of death in my life. I've dealt with a lot of strife in my life. And so I
Have to learn to not sit in it if that makes sense
And the last thing I learned, well not the last thing I learned but the last thing on this list--
blahblahblahblahblah
the last thing on this list is to
Stop holding on to things that no longer serve you
I'm not holding hands in 2019
I'm not sacrificing my own happiness and my needs and my emotions for the sake of others
if I'm not also benefiting
Codependency is dead in 2019.
We are both independent people. We are both independent entities
So codependency is dead.
Yeah, here are my goals ready? Okay, so number one remember that
I'm not 30 and that I am actually 22. I have a really hard time with this
This is something that like I've struggled with my whole life. I've never felt my age
And when I was 8 I felt like 15 when I was 15
I felt 20 like I've never felt my age and so my goal this year is to actually feel my age and
that requires leaving the house
Which I started to do at the end of this year, which is really nice.
Remember that I am 22 and not a 30 year old
That's one of my goals
it says I'm gonna read it word for word it just says cook more bitch
You love to cook just cook more.
I have a really hard time finding time to cook. I really enjoy cooking
I think it's fun. I love finding recipes on Pinterest. So we're gonna get cooking videos in the future
I hope y'all are excited for that
if you have a Pinterest recipe that you'd love me to try
leave it in the comments
ask for more things because you deserve them and you worked hard just ask
I've, we've talked about impostor syndrome on this channel before
I have a really hard time asking for things
Because I think I can do it all by myself when I can just ask people to help me
So we're just gonna ask people in 2019
that's what we're gonna do we're just gonna ask people it's fine
i'm gonna get better at editing because i'm getting new gear and we're gonna
Talk about that when I get my new gear, but basically I got the VidCon creator grant
We will talk about that when I get my new camera
But I'm gonna get better at editing and learning newthings from the internet
and it's gonna be great, It's gonna be cool.
2019 is gonna be a really good year for content on this channel and I'm very, very excited
one of my goals-- my goals for me and my goals for actually everyone is
Stop telling yourself that you are undeserving. You deserve things that are happening to you
If good things are happening to you deserve those things.
So stop telling yourself that you don't deserve them
this is a really hard lesson for me to learn, I feel like I'm undeserving all the time, but like uh,
Just stop telling yourself you don't deserve good things
know your worth say that worth all of these goals sound the same
because they are the same
I'm gonna continue to be this unstoppable force that I'm becoming. I'm excited about that.
I'm gonna develop a routine like an actual routine like a morning routine. There's gonna be a video on that
I hope y'all are excited. I'm not. it requires me getting up at a certain time
Every day and my last one is take it easy. Those are those are some of my goals.
I have some mantras for 2019, and it's continue surrendering to the universe, act your age
And a closed mouth doesn't get fed. Those are my three mantras for 2019
Yeah, it's been a really good year on this channel
And I just want to thank all of you seriously bottom of my heart
last year I was around 250 subscribers and now we are a 1,130
in like that's wild to me, and I have like 3,000 people following me on Twitter
Like it's wild. 2018. The second half of 2018 was actually wild and I
Accomplished so many things that weren't even on my list to accomplish like
and I just want to thank you guys so so much
Welcome to 20BiTeen, it's gonna be incredible.
make sure you're following me on here, subscribe.
I am starting a new channel for photography and videography
I will put that in a card up here or in the links down below
Again, mermaids, thank you. So so so much for being part of this little community. I really really appreciate it
Yeah, if you want to join the mermaid kingdom all of my social media links are down in the description
if you want subscribe the button's right there
If you wanna hit the notification bell, that button is also right there and
Just keep swimming, sigue nadando, and I will see you very very soon.
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