[Upbeat Piano Music]
Hi, my name is Tatum Borealis
and today I want to roast Girl Defined. But I asked myself,
"What would girl define to do?"
To that, let us look to the Holy Bibble.
So today I ask the Bible,
"Is it alright to make fun of these girls?"
And I think Second Corinthians
1:20 answers that very well for me.
"Yeah."
blah blah blah blah
"Amen."
And to the question, "Am I only doing this because Cody Ko did this?", we can look to the same verse.
"Yeah."
So, Girl Defined is back in the YouTube spotlight
because they posted a video called "Why I Waited Until Marriage
to Kiss". Which we're gonna look at right now, but at the very end of this video...
we are going to look at her very first kiss.
[Upbeat Piano Music]
Hey guys, it's Bethany and Kristen from Girl Defined Ministries
and today we are going to be talking about why I saved my first kiss for marriage.
So actually as y'all are watching this video right now. I will be on my honeymoon!
[Super Slow Motion Excited Sound]
[Bethany]: Yes! [Kristen]: Wooo!
[B]: I'm so excited about that! [K]: [Low Pitched] Yeah!
[B]: It's actually been a really cool thing and I'm actually really excited about it.
So, when I decided like, "Hey, that would be a cool idea and then you know each you're like, "Oh yeah,
this is a cool idea... Right?!"
Right?!
[Small Laugh]
Yeah, this is still cool...
Right?
This is cool...
This is totally cool.
If God has marriage for us one day,
we're gonna get to enjoy all of this just like you and Dave are actually enjoying now.
[K]: Umm...'Cause you're married now... as we watch this. [B]: [Laughing uncomfortably]
[B]: In future time! [K]: [Laughing]
[B]: In future time! [K]: [Very High Pitched] IN THE FUTURE TIMES!
I love how just offended she is that this other chick would even speak in the present tense.
She even goes along with it
Like she's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm so sorry. Oh my god,
I can't even believe I just said that!"
It really, you know, when your focus is on honoring Christ, when your focus is on being set apart, when your focus is on building
just a relationship,
and getting to know the other person. And when you set up good boundaries and don't put yourself in the way of temptation,
to be honest, it's not as hard as it seems! [K]: It's very freeing. I've heard you say.
[B]: Yes! It's very freeing because you're not like always like, "Ah! Did we go too far?
Did we do this?". Like we are free not to kiss.
We do not have to kiss until we get married!
"Oh, thank God that I don't have to kiss this man!!"
YUCK!
[Loud Laughter]
Can you imagine saying that about...
anyone that you love? "Ugh, thank God! I do not have to kiss them!"
She's so happy that she doesn't have to kiss this guy!
Think about just those smaller aspects I guess of romance in kind of a newer way.
Just instead of thinking like, "Oh, like yeah.
Of course everyone just kisses!" Like maybe take a step back and think about it a little bit differently!
You should definitely take a step back and think about those smaller things! Like...
Do I want to kiss this man?
Do I want to kiss any man ever?
Why do I want to kiss girls so much?
[B]: Both of us did not kiss until we got married and we found guys that were willing to wait, that were
[B]: actually excited to do that. [K]: Yeah! It did not scare them away. They were for it as well.
[B]: I'm not dragging Dave along like, "We have to do this!!!"
He was 100% on the same page, on board with doing that.
So I'm sure we're all curious who these men that willingly went along with this whole thing are. So, let's watch their video
"Practical Advice for Dating and Marriage"
[Same Upbeat Piano Music yet again!]
[Kristen]: Hey guys! It's Kristen and Bethany. And obviously, we have some extras!
[K]: We have Zack and we have Dave! [Bethany]: [High Pitched] Wooo!!
[K]: On the vlog today! And we're so excited and today's vlog is called... [B]: So excited!
[Extremely Loud and Heavy Bass]
Dave is a savage!!
Also, umm...
I have to mention this
Dave is a --
[Robotic Text-to-Speech Voice]
There's... There's just no other way to put it..
[K]: Also note that Dave and Bethany are in a relationship. So, in this vlog we thought would be so fun if...
[Talking Fades to Silence]
Smile through the pain! I don't hate this person! We're totally fine! I'm just gonna commit my life to them!
[Small Scream of Terror followed by Painful Laughter]
[Silently] Ooh my god.
[Katy Perry Vine Audio]: They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine.
Hmm, okay.
[B]: We have actually three specific things
that we're doing and these are things, like, they're not like the, "Oh,
if you do these you're gonna have the perfect relationship." or anything like that.
They're just ways for us to get to know each other on a deeper level!
[Dave]: The first of those things is... We have a list of a hundred and thirty questions. Which--
[K]: [Whistles] [Zack]: One thirty!
[Bethany, Kristen, and Zack Laughing]
[D]: What? You didn't do this?
[Bethany and Kristen Laugh More and Even Whiter Than Before]
[Z]: That's a lot of questions. That's good. It's good!
[D]: Anyway...
If you are genuinely interested in another person in...
perhaps
spending the rest of your life with another person, you should be interested in them enough
to know how to ask them questions, to want to genuinely ask them questions.
Have you ever had a crush on a girl, Dave?
You should have questions running through your mind about her every single day.
Questions like:
What's her favorite color? What's your favorite TV show? Oh my god! Does she... does she want to have kids?
Where does she want to live?
I wonder... I wonder what it feels like to kiss her.
That one shouldn't be on your mind too long either because you should just do it.
You should not be asking her questions like the ones on this list. Like...
[Katy Perry Vine Audio]: They ask you how you are and you just say that you're fine and you're not really fine
but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.
I thought we were past this. It should be an insult to ask someone that question.
[D]: The next thing we've been doing is, uh, regular times of
scripture reading and prayer together. And this is really, really
helpful for us because it's really those times that we get to really come and center our focus and
Why we're doing this. Why are we in a relationship doing all these intentional things? And where are we going?
Why are we doing this? Why are we in a relationship?
Those are questions that you should be able to figure out on your own.
You shouldn't need a-- you shouldn't need this guy to help you out with that one.
[B]: Thanks so much for watching today's video with our super, extra special guests! If you liked it
you can subscribe to our channel below because we post new videos every Wednesday!
[Super Annoying, Super White Laughter]
Subscribe... through Patreon! There's ways to donate to this ministry.
[Bible Thump]
[Extremely White Laughter]
Comedic genius! Oh my god!
[Bible Thump]
[Replicated Laughter] [Tatum]: Oh my god I'm just so funny! Like this video! Subscribe!!
And he does that all after
begging, BEGGING for people to donate to their Patreon. Which is understandable because they only have a hundred and
ninety five patrons.
And you gotta love the way they have their patreon account set up.
I don't-- I haven't really looked at a whole lot of other people's patreon accounts
but their tiers seem a little manipulative. If you give them
one dollar or more per video, you can be their friend. If you give them
three or more dollars per video, you
get to be their best friend. If you give them five dollars or more per video, you
become their sister. And if you donate 10 dollars or more per video, you my friend are a
kindred spirit.
So I am really afraid for this poor, closeted lesbian.
So let's watch this video called "Marriage, Sex, and My New Life as a Wife" where she looks absolutely
terrified in the thumbnail.
[B]: Hey guys, it's Bethany and Kristen with Girl Defined Ministries.
Imagine-- Imagine being a person that agreed with a dress code that said no shoulders.
[K]: Why are you and Dave actually saving sex for marriage?
[B]: Oo... [K]: Just a personal question! No big deal!
[B]: Yes let's just jump right into it. But I think it's good. [K]: Let's get to it!
[B]: I'm glad we're talking about these things because I do feel like you know, especially like before I'm married and especially as a single
I'm curious. I'm like, "Why do people do things?" I want to know like, "Why are you doing that?"
I think one of the big reasons is because when we look in scripture,
we do see that sexual intimacy is reserved for a husband and a wife. You never see that
displayed as God's good design outside of marriage.
In fact a verse that was really convicting for me was Hebrews 13:4, which I wrote down.
It says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled." and
so that to me was just talking about, "Okay the marriage bed like this is something sacred,
this is something holy, something that sex with it should be reserved for a husband and a wife.
I love that this is the verse-- THIS IS THE VERSE that makes her not want to even kiss before marriage.
This verse states:
Do you think...
kissing before marriage makes you a whoremonger, Bethany? What the-- What?!
What is a whoremonger?
Let me get a definition for whoremonger.
A whoremonger is a person who has dealings with prostitutes.
[B]: When I talked about my wedding. I would get these direct messages - not public - like direct, like, "Are you nervous? Are you nervous?
Are you nervous?"
[K]: And that's a very relevant question. You've never had sex. You're gonna have it with your husband for the first time like.. yeah!
[B]: Yeah, and it I think that I'm not nervous.
I think the more that I have studied God's good design for intimacy, the more that I've learned why God created sex, why God created
marriage, honestly the more excited I've come to get to experience that level of deep intimacy. Not just physically but emotionally.
She's gotten really
excited to finally have sex with a man
after learning about it, after all of this research,
now...
[High Pitched, Uncomfortable Voice] "It should be fun... Yeah..."
"It'll be okay!"
[B]: And God designed sex to be super pleasurable for like our
enjoyment and so it's like, I've never experienced that. I love a good like new experience! I love adventure!
This is like the ultimate adventure and it's my best friend! So it's like it's not awkward. It's not weird.
It's like he's my bestie.
Can you imagine having sex with your best friend?
That...
[Disgusted Noise]
That is weird. That is weird!!
That's not a normal thing!
As much as I love making fun of these white chicks.
I think it's finally time to conclude that
Bethany is a lesbian.
Okay. Bye!!
But in all seriousness,
I think it's really possible that Bethany
loves this idea of being a wife and she thinks that a man
is the only person that's gonna get her there.
But, Bethany...
[Sexy Saxophone Music Starts to Play]
I'm right here, babe.
And as promised let's check out this kiss.
[Minister]: Bethany has been sharing-- saving her first kiss to share with you in this very moment.
So you've never had the privilege of kissing your bride.
[Laughter from Crowd]
[M]: You may now kiss your wife.
[Crowded Cheering and Woo-ing]
[Applause]
I have been watching
wedding kiss videos all day to
make sure if there's a hug afterwards. And I have not seen a single one where the people
embrace each other like that afterwards.
I really think it's a way of saying,
"That was terrible, but it's okay!"
"We're gonna get through this!"
"We're gonna have to do this for the rest of our lives"
Well, I've been Tatum Borealis!
Please give this video a thumbs up, subscribe if you haven't already, and
for the love of God, please go kiss somebody.
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