Chief Commissioner, honoured guests, ladies and gentlemen... about a year and a half
ago my mom asked me if I would speak to all of you about something very hard for
me to talk about at first I hesitated but only for a moment because I
understood and have witnessed firsthand the importance of supporting victims of
crime I came to this gala last year as volunteer and realized that this was one
way of making something good come out of something horrible besides when you're
young you feel if you don't have a voice so I guess I should say thank you for
giving me the chance to share mine and speak for all the young people who like
me have been affected by crime
the truth is some of you are very intimidating not just because I'm 15
because I know you the power you have to make a difference if only idea ability
to improve the lives of someone else just by coming to an event like this on
January 1st 2008 when I was just six years old I got the worst news of my
life my mom came into my room she had been crying I was doing her best not to
she sounded edge of my bed and somehow I was trying to tell me that my older
sister had gone to heaven because she'd been attacked by someone with a knife
and I died I couldn't believe it and I didn't understand how could this be
I had just here a couple hours before she went to a friend's house I had so
many unanswered questions but I knew one thing life was different and nothing
would ever be the same my mom did her best to answer my
questions and to reassure me that I was safe and loved and nothing will change
that it had changed and when I went back to bed that night I was both very sad
and terrified I felt somehow as though I were free falling into a bottomless pit
for a long time my nights were full of nightmares but mom had promised to keep
me safe but she hadn't kept my sister safe so what's that actually mean when I
eventually asked her I knew somehow that I just made things worse and even harder
for her even though if she tried to hide it I knew she was heartbroken but I
didn't know what to do or say that's of our responsibility for six-year-olds as
the days went by I saw the struggle to normalize their lives I remember going
to school and seeing the other parents not speaking to my mom the usual morning
conversations as we learned of her kindergarten weren't happening even
though my mom tried to smile a lot naturally I felt really angry about that
I also felt different than other kids at school and found myself pulling back
into her shell my mom tried to explain to me that people weren't trying to be
mean to us they just didn't know what to say they were really scared that they
would say or do something and make it all worse and will make us cry or get
angry a few years later my mum was taking a
course from moving from post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth and
one of the things she had to do was write an e-book on something to do with
her experiences as a victim she decided to write a book of advice to friends and
families of people who are grieving she explained to people that they didn't
need to say anything they just needed to be there and gave losted what of advice
and how to help in practical ways that really made life easier for the victim
I've often been told that I'm a grown-up in a kid's body sometimes I want to
scream back and tell people that my childhood was told for me and I had to
grow up too fast but what good would it do as the months and then years went by
I had a better understanding of what had happened and the effort it took my
parents to support us in their young lives
I had a 12 year old and a two and a half year brother at the time my older
brother had some very dark times one day at school he had a psychotic breakdown
which terrified everyone he saw things that weren't real and thought that he
was going to die and physically acted them out without
being conscious of it his teacher didn't know what to do I needed to my mom she
also didn't hang with his friends anymore he said there were childish we
turned into it as a family and maybe that was a good thing a good thing
excited a good family one day when the front page of a newspaper had a picture
of my sister and the girl who killed her someone brought it to school apparently
their parents thought I might want to see it well I hadn't seen it on the bus
ride home everyone was asking my brother and I
that happened and for some reason they seem to think the whole thing was funny
and that really hurt I didn't want my mom to know because I felt like I needed
to protect her she was she was protecting us from the media and when
she found out they made her really angry things like this would happen too often
and each time it made to hurt worse just when things were starting to get better
it also brought back the fear it was bad for me but so much worse for my older
brother a few months ago three of my friends were robbed at knifepoint I
think it affected me worse than them I so easily could have been with them that
afternoon and I don't know how I would have reacted I thought about that a
thousand times thank goodness I could go home and talk to my parents I was so
lucky to be born to the family that I have they taught us not to be afraid to
ask for help and they knew where to go for that help and so we learned how to
look forward instead of living in the past
there are families who are less fortunate maybe there are marginalized
or lacking the skills and support to get through each day trauma takes over your
brain and your ability to thing properly victim services Toronto is a lifeline
but there are how we can get through each day and eventually those days turn
into months and then years they support families and then the parents have more
strength to help the kids if my parents had fallen apart or split up I don't
know how I'd be today
did you know that when a child is a victim of homicide many times those
parents end up living apart I know that parents put up I fall often these days
and most kids are fine as long as his head as well at the time I think would
have made my brothers and I feel really really helpless and scared they're our
kids I know we're lost they've had bad stuff happens and can't seem to get it
together I worry about them and them and I care about the impact their actions
have on others if they don't get the help they will just keep getting worse
but something will get hurt what if that hurts someone else I'd love you have the
power to make a difference you're so lucky
not only will others listen to you but they will take what you have to say
seriously I know everybody has their own problems you're so smart successful kind
and generous people and I know that because you're here please stretch
beyond their comfort level and give as much as you can to help kids like me the
thing is you never know when you or someone you might you know might need
help most my parents were police officers I never ever thought that their
daughter would be murdered I support my family my family received has given us
all the strength to pay it forward this is my first step on behalf of my sister
Stephanie and all the other victims thank you for allowing me to feel as if
I'm making a difference through you and Ty the mean to do it myself thank you
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét