Waching daily Sep 2 2018

 A wedding was on the menu for Katie Lee on Saturday.  The Food Network star, 36, and television producer Ryan Biegel got married, PEOPLE can exclusively report, in a ceremony attended by family and friends and filled with emotion

 It's the second marriage for Lee, who was previously married to music star Billy Joel from 2004-2010

 Days before their big day, Lee and Beigel were in Capri, Italy — where they soaked up the final days of summer (and swam on a pizza float, of course)

 Lee and Biegel announced their engagement back in March. He had popped the question while she was vacation in Paris

 "It was very romantic," Lee — who co-hosts The Kitchen on the network as well as Katie Lee Eats Meats, in Sweats — told PEOPLE earlier this month

 "We were going out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants, and I thought that it was coming

We're on the trip, like I kind of thought, 'Listen we're in Paris and we're taking the Orient Express to Venice

If he doesn't propose on this trip, he'll really miss a great opportunity.'"  And just as she predicted, on their second night staying at La Reserve Hotel, Biegel took advantage of the perfect setting and popped the question

 After she said "yes," they went to dinner and "gorged" on chicken and duck fat potatoes

 Food has been at the center of her relationship with Biegel from the beginning

 "That's really what brought us together and that's what we enjoy the most," said Lee

"I think just going through life with somebody who I share a similar idea of how we want to live, you know? We really have fun together and aside from all the love stuff, we really like each other

"  "We like to do the same things," she added. "Last night we went out on a date to a place called Din Tai Fung, a dumpling house, and ate a ton of dumplings

That's the type of thing we like to do together. We'll read about somewhere, and then we'll go and we'll pig out, and we'll have a lot of fun

"  And though she kept wedding plans a secret at the time, Lee did promise the big day would include one thing for sure: "You can plan on there being a lot of good food and wine," she said

For more infomation >> Katie Lee Is Married! Food Network Star Says 'I Do' to Television Producer Ryan Biegel - News Today - Duration: 3:25.

-------------------------------------------

Man is a Machine That Winds Its Own Springs: talk on what's wrong with attachment - Duration: 44:19.

today's topic is about attachment

and part of the reason for that was a

Singapore group came recently and they wanted to know about attachment

so this is a topic that is on my mind

I have a line that I really like

and certain times when I am reading things

lines jump out that really kind of resonate

my favourite line of all time is

How Many Beans Make Five?

I think this is just a great line it has a great meaning

but this line was 'Man is a machine that winds its own springs'

and I really like that idea

because it sums up or captures

what the experience is when we look into the mind

our job, or my job

as a monk as a meditator

is to be a mystic

so that's my ambition is to be a mystic

a few days ago I was in my university

and we had a conference with some

Christians

about 8 or 9 Italian missionaries who are here

to teach Christianity

and much of this was actually in Thai

because they speak better Thai than they do English

so that was a bit bizarre to start with

and one of them seemed like a very very nice chap

very nice man - kind of in his 60s I guess, maybe 70s

and he said 'I ...

feel this love from God

and I have this love for God

and my ambition in life is to spread and share God's love in the world

he said "what's your ambition?"

I'm like .. well I want to like ...

meditate ???

it didn't seem like a very good response on my part

I couldn't

suggest to them a really worthy kind of goal

for what are we doing as Buddhists? what is our job?

well our job is to be a mystic

our idea is that we are trying to

capture or catch that mystery

and I did point out to the Catholic - Christian or Catholic group

that in fact you have mystics in

Christianity also

in fact every society around the world

has always had its mystics

those people who have

withdrawn from society to a degree

have gone to caves, mountains, hillsides

and have sat down

and have turned the attention inwards and gone into the mystery

and our question is what is that mystery?

what is the use of the benefit of it?

is it something that is worth pursuing?

and all of the saints and sages who have come back

and told us aobut this mystery

have said it's worth pursuing

so we take in a certain degree of trust

that this ...

this mystery that we enter into is something that will produce benefit

something that will be in the end, joyous

even if it's difficult to

arouse the energy and effort to do the meditation

Now, that's what I wanted to be

since I first heard about Buddhism I wanted to be a mystic

not in the sense of a

men like to feel that they have a deep sense of mystery about them ... but

is to enter into that actual

living experience

that essence of life itself

the difficulty is that

it doesn't really have any characteristics

so if you try and tell people

well what is it that you are entering into?

you get stuck for words

I very much like actually the Christian mystics

they call it 'Union with God'

I really like that

that just makes sense to me

I don't know who or what God is

I don't know really what enlightenment is

but I can enter into that kind of relationship

I can enter into that point in my mind

so when we turn the attention inwards

what you find is

a maelstrom if you know that word

like a tornado

of thoughts and feelings and impressions

and most people think that they are unable to meditate because

when they look at their mind in that way, that's what they find

there are a couple of responses to this

one response is to squash this cacophony

and .. enforce some kind of order on to it

and that's what we are doing when we do concentration meditation

when you concentrate on a colour or a thought, or an idea, or a mantra

you are flattening out that cacophony of noise

that's jumping around in the mind

and replacing it with something that's more pure

more serene, more ordered, more systematic

and that's extremely comfortable

once the mind crosses over .. it's called the gotrabhu

I like to use 'quantum leap'

because in quantum mechanics things have one state or another

there's no inbetween states

that's why it's called 'quantum' there's a quantity

I'm probably going too far into that now aren't I?

So gotrabhu means a chance of state

in the suttas you find it translated as 'change of lineage'

which is a bit vague

but what it means is the mind

exits from one mode of being and enters into another

mode of being

and that's what happens when you suddenly click

in concentration

when the mind suddenly drops everything

and just enters in happily with its meditation object

now this was recommended by the Buddha

we often

talk about concentration or Vipassana teachers

talk about concentration as being something

that's a distraction or is not the Holy Life

and I'm thinking of one particular monk

who I met - he's one of these

... he's very famous for psychic powers

very genuinely

he was talking about how he used to go walking meditation

on the hillside in the temple

and he said these devas would come down and start

hanging around

is that what happens on your walking meditation

you have devas come?

sing songs to you?

and then he would say to them

Go Away! you are disturbing my meditation

that wouldn't be my response!

I would be like oh wow devas!

I'm reminded of one of my favourite stories

some of you have heard it of Papaji (Poonjaji) in Lucknow

and he'd come out every day and answer people's questions

and one day ... he'd read from a book for a couple of hours

and then answer questions and one day

someone had written this question to him

she said: I was wandering in a forest behind Lucknow

and I came across an abandoned temple - and I sat there

and Shiva appeared to me and did this incredible dance

and every move of the dance was a communication and I understood perfectly

it went on and on and on for .. in my opinion, a little bit too long

and then Shiva disappeared, and I was left in a state of bliss

and eventually I realised

it's getting dark, it might not be safe and I found my way back to the place

what does this mean?

and Papaji he folds up this piece of paper

in his beautiful kind of enlightened manner

and he says: next time Shiva comes and appears to you

please tell him to come and see me because I haven't met him yet

and that was it that was the end of the question

so I like that - it's a good lesson

now whether devas do appear or whether Shivas do appear

or whether you are hallucinating or tripping

is kind of beside the point

the point is not to get caught up in these supernatural appearances

well concentration - these are the things that come when you ...

practice high degrees of concentration

and contrary to what many teachers teach

actually concentration was considered to be a good

and a beautiful, and a beneficial practice

in Buddhism the Buddha repeatedly

entrated his monks to practice concentration meditation

so this particular monk, he was saying how the devas would come

and disturb him on his walking meditation

and he would tell the devas to go away

he would practice these high states of concentration meditation

but in the end he said

this was all a waste of time because this isn't enlightenment

my frustration with that kind of teaching is

he may be enlightened actually I have very good confidence that

he's somebody quite highly attained

but the point was that concentration was his path

that was how he got to where he is now

and very often these saints, gurus, and people who you see

and hear about who are enlightened

they only tell you about that last little key that had

to get into enlightenment

and they don't tell you about the lifetimes of practice that they've done before that

so

one of the refrains that you hear in Buddhism

is concentration can be a distraction

well, that wasn't the way the Buddha actually taught it

but if we are going to go past concentration

concentration will quell the maelstrom quell the storm

and will appear as something very beautiful

and very stable as you cross over into it

but sooner or later you do have to come out of concentration

and then you are back

in this same mind again

so where in this jumping

stormy mind that we have where in that is the stable ground

that's what we are looking for

and this is the mystery into which we are entering

because as you delve as you go further into the mind

that's jumping around

what starts to happen is you see it in its real nature

and that is the nature of one thought coming up ...

what's for dinner; where am I going to go yesterday I had this for dinner

tomorrow I'm going to have that for dinner

so today I might have this for dinner

maybe I should get it in Villa

if I go to Villa, where am I going to park?

shall I not take the car? I can take the Skytrain

have I got money in my Skytrain card

I should go up and I should ....

and you are off .....

and this will go on and on and on and you will start somewhere

and then 10 minutes later your mindfulness returns

and now you are thinking about

what are you thinking about?

you are thinking about glaciers in Sweden

how did I get from dinner to glaciers in Sweden?

when an idea occurs to you

when something is conscious in the mind

it appears as something very important

it appears as something that needs to be thought about

and I've reflected on this time and time again, because

whenever something comes up in my mind

it seems like, really important

like: what's for dinner? well I really need to figure that out

even though 30 seconds ago I wasn't thinking about what's for dinner

or worried about what's for dinner

this actually did occur to me because yesterday I only had a

some MaMa

3 slices of bread, MaMa and I had some dried mushrooms and onion

that I put in the MaMa

and that was my only food yesterday

today I am looking forward Prayathna has brought me some food

some proper food

and so on the way here, I was ..

well last night I was calculating how many hours it had been since I had eaten

and this was around 6 or 7 o'clock and I was feeling quite hungry by this time

because it was about 30 hours

that I had only eater one tub of MaMa

and suddenly it seemed really really important to me

and looking around my room have I got anything I can sneak?

and I didn't

no tins of anything

and I was - I could really do with something right now

maybe I should have eaten more lunch

and it seemed really important

and then this morning I woke up

I realised that was 12 hours ago

that was 6 pm it's now 6 am

I haven't eaten anything for [another] 12 hours

and it hadn't even occurred to my mind

so how important was it?

that when I was thinking about it at 6 pm last night

how important was it really?

did I really want to eat something?

or is this just something that's appeared in my mind and

when something appears in conscious attention

it appears with a quality of importance

did you ever think about your old school friends?

people you have not seen for

a long time?

and how important that was when you were with them

and now it just does not matter

or a business, a company you used to work for

or an old job

and it seems ... when I worked as a chef

I would spend half my day thinking about the job

and mostly about the annoying manager we had a German manager

which is not very ... it is not a very good combination

and I would think about him quite a lot

he'd say some funny things

and have some strange opinions

frankly I thought i could do the job better than he did

that's what it ammounted to

and now I don't think about him

the only time he occurs to me is when I think about

how little I think about him

and how important it seemed at the time

that I really have to think about that person

whatever it is that appears in your conscious attention

appears as something really important

and that importance is what we call attachment

or I like to use the word 'lure'

it's a lure, that lures you in

it's a bait that will hook you into it

the Pali word that I'm thinking of here is

not the usual translation of attachment which is upadana

that has a slightly different meaning

but the Pali word 'nandhi'

and nandhi means to 'delight in'

or it means to hold in your hand

and it can be something that is pleasant or unpleasant

the pali word when we say 'delighting in'

it makes it sound like it's always something nice

but the Pali word has the connotation of

nice, or unpleasant

because whatever it is that appears in the mind

it appears as really important

it appears like something that I really need to think about

yet when we look at the mind we just find this like ...

pumping of ideas after ideas after ideas

after ideas ...

that always seem so important and then

15 seconds later actually that idea has gone

and a new idea has come up

so how important was that thing that was in your mind

15 seconds ago?

reflecting in this way

you have to sooner or later

ask the question well how important is all this

nonsense that is pumping through my mind

constantly, religiously, relentlessly

seemingly important but like ...

if it wasn't important 15 seconds ago

and this idea is not going to be important in 30 seconds time

why do I give it importance now?

I'm also thinking of my .. the ... school - I have

a couple of thousand school girls outside my window

which is not a very pleasant experience

actually the school girls are fine

it's the teachers they get on the loud speakers

and they rant everybody - you're not in a line

you didn't pick litter up in your room yesterday stand to attention

sing a song listen to this announcement

go over there fill in this form

and this goes across the loud speakers

right across ...

my building has about 200 monks in it

so it blasts straight into these 200 monks rooms

of course I don't care about

199 of those monks

schools are going to start again

I think Tuesday or something ..?

Tuesday it's going to all start

crank up again I've had a couple of months of peace

when the teachers are going with this noise

usually starts about 7 o'clock in the morning with music

horrible music

like at least play them some John Lee Hooker or something!

and I won't like it

and while I'm listening to it I won't like it

and it will go on for 2 hours usually in the morning

but the thing that strikes me is

I usually don't notice when it stops

it's very interesting

that this thing that I find so unpleasant

and I'll go on and I'll do my work

I'll update the websites and things like this

and then it'll come to 10 o'clock

and I'll realise it stopped an hour ago and I never even noticed

how important was it when I was disliking it?

if I don't even notice when it stops

so the question is what is there

aside from this constant stream?

of stuff that's pounding on your door knocking on your door

aside from that

that's the mystery

that's the feeling of just life itself

it's an undercurrent of clear

continuous presence

it's actually always there

in every mind state that you can have, this

feeling of life, of ...

you might say consciousness, but

in Buddhism

consciousness has a slightly different meaning

but in the English sense of [consciousness] just

a continual conscious presence, awakeness

that's actually there behind every single state of mind

so what we are doing is if we can break

this feeling of importance of this stream of stuff

what starts to

you start to become aware of

out of that is this

continual presence

it's just there, it's ...

gentle

it's not exciting, it's not dull it's not anything

but it's always there

and that's the mystery

that's the thing that we are trying to hook into

that we are trying to catch hold of

now it's very abstract

and that was why

I was saying earlier if you want to

really become a meditator

you have to have some kind of Puja

some kind of offering

because this

quiet presence

that's so abstract

we have to try and make some kind of concrete

relationship to it

but what happens is the more that you can do that

and the more that you identify

that undercurrent of simple presence

it's not a state of mind that you need to generate

it's what's there when you stop

attaching importance to all the stuff

that's churning through your mind

it's just there it starts to appear and manifest

as something that's always there

a bit like listening to me now

but hearing the air conditioner

it's always there just gentle

you just don't notice it because

it's not striking enough

so this importance that we give to the stuff

in the mind

it's that importance that is the obstacle

if we don't give importance to the stuff that's going through the mind

to this maelstrom, to this constant battering of ideas

and thoughts, and feelings

and memories and impressions

if you don't give ...

if you can break that importance

what happens is the

attention will start to withdraw

from all those machinations

and will start to attach to the only thing that's left

which is this

serene background presence

so it's a process of the

I like the advaitia this is not a Buddhist

idea

it's part of the enlightenment tradition of India

it came from Ramana Maharshi I think

or it might be Nisargadatta I get them mixed up

and he said it's like the inchworms

and the inchworms in India, they

travel along a leaf

then they'll stand up on their rearmost legs

and they will twirl around

on the leaves

what they are doing is

they want to leave the leaf that they are on but they don't know

where they are going to

so every so often they will reach up

and they will twirl around and eventually

they will catch hold of something

and when they catch hold of something

they let go of that original leaf

so Ramana Maharshi

used this as a metaphor

for our meditation

is the sense of self is withdrawing

from one thing which is this constant chatter

machine gun firing of the mind

but is going to have to reach around before it can find something else to hold on to

he described enlightenment as being finally what happens

the sense of self completely disengages from the stuff

and then attaches to the unconditioned, or the Amata

or the enlightenment

so this is our job with the

I am using the word 'importance' here

but the Pali word is 'nandhi'

or 'delighting in'

or 'attaching to'

because the things that appear in the mind

appear as something that's important

they lure you in

and they try to grab your attention

in fact the job of the human being

usually is out of this

chaos - we try to find something stable

but we do it in the wrong way

we do it by forming a ego

right? we want to make some kind of story

which will make sense of this constant

chatter in the mind

and we attach on to the stories

because the stories give you some kind of stable ground

some way of relating to yourself

Iwas watching a documentary on Alaska

a while back and this guy

was going out hunting

he's very fit

and the camera crew that follows him around

are not able to keep up with him

because he's really fit and strong

and he's going way out into the outback in Alaska

and it's quite dangerous

there's lots of bogs, and pit holes and

you can break your leg, break your neck

and, they said to him

you can just die out here!

if you twist your ankle

and you're 6 hours walk into the bush

you are finished

and he said

... shall I try and do an Alaskan accent?

A mountain man I was born

a mountain man I am

and a mountain man I sure as hell will die

that's the best I can do

I'm not good at accents

this was a story that he's attaching to right

and not just any story this is life and death

this is him

going out hunting bear, and

I felt a bit sorry for the bears, but

he can die out there! well he has a story that will

carry him through

this is a way to make sense

of, what essentially when you look at it in the mind

doesn't make very much sense

and so this is what psychology is all about

is how you make sense of this constant stuff

how do you put it into order

how can you find some good stories

from which you can

which are better stories to operate from

there is actually a modern

brand of psychology

it's called 'narrative psychology'

Dan McAdams is the main guy

I've tried several times reading the texts on this but I find them very ...

wishy washy what they do is they interview people

and try to find what are the stories that people live by

what you end up with then is just like a different story for every person

it doesn't give you much guidance in my opinion

I've been very disappointed so far

in the psychology of the narrative self

this narrative self

is the self that we need to let go of

when in Buddhism we are talking about non-self

we are talking about ways to undermine

that sense of your story

your self

you actually don't need it

you will operate fairly well in the world without these narratives

to hang on to

much better than you probably think you would

I found my life as a monk - when you are a junior monk

you really try hard to be monk-like

when you are talking to people you want to try and

be monk-like and you see it with the Thai monks

they do it very beautifully actually

a very beautiful thing, but ...

when they come to the temple

and they come in and they are kind of just like - usually

guys 20-22 years old

finished school don't really want to be in the temple

they'll do their bit make some merit for their family

and then they go through the ordination procedure and suddenly they are like

walking around very serene very proper

whereas 10 minutes before they were kind of like this

in front of their parents now suddenly they are like:

because you are taking on a role

and you are taking on a role

and it is important to do that

if you are going to ordain as a monk you can't behave

the way you were behaving before, so

I don't want to criticise that that's not what they should do

I do wonder what I looked like when I became a monk

to me now it's actually just I can't remember being any other way

most of my adult life was spent as a monk

so taking on that kind of role

does become important

especially when you are coming into the public eye

that's also

important you have to take on that persona

and you do it yourself right?

you will have a certain persona as a parent, with your children

which is a bit different to your persona with your husband or your wife

which is a bit different to your persona with your boss

this kind of psychology I quite like this was George Kelly

Personal Construct Theory and he talked a lot about roles

and he was one of the ones that introduced

the idea in therapy that you can actually start taking on different roles

and practising these roles with your therapist

well with our Buddhist practice meditation practice

we are undermining this entire sense of self

you actually don't need it

and the more you drop all these kind of roles and ideas

the more ordinary you become

and it you ever meet some of these really well attained monks and teachers

they are often extremely ordinary people

so ordinary it's quite strange

so we undercut these stories and personas that we invent

to make sense of this maelstrom of stuff

the maelstrom of the storm of stuff

is a constant barrage of things that appear important

while they are right there in front of you

but

when we reflect on it actually it's not important

it jsut appears important because you have your spotlight on it

watching it in that way you start to lose your attachment

and this si what is meant by non-attachment

when we talk about

non-attachment in Buddhism

people try to make it into a

thing - well..

I've heard people say

well you should be attached ...

you should still do things but not be attached to the results of things

and that's non-attachment

does that make sense?

psychologically it's not a bad idea right?

you make an effort but you should be willing to accept

whether your effort succeeds or fails

does't help when you are writing a thesis

so people have tried to make sense of this idea of non-attachment

but if you're not attached to your health and your pension, or your

family and your job and ..

your visa

these are all things that you have to do in life

you have to have an amount of attachment to them

your role as a parent, or as a monk, or as a

husband or a wife you have to have

attachments to those roles

otherwise you are not taking it seriously

you are not going to fulfil those roles properly

So

in my view when we talk about non-attachment, it's

non-attachment in your life

as life things that you've got to take care of

doesn't make very much sense

but non-attachment when you are entering into the mystery

when you are entering into that feeling

that lies behind all the

movement of the mind

that makes perfect sense

because the one thing when that

mystery starts to reveal itself

the one thing that you see about it

is it's not all that churning stuff

and the thing that hides it

is this sense of importance with whatever is occurring in your mind

if you can break that sense of importance

with the things that are arising in your conscious attention

then that mystery starts to reveal itself

much much more easily and more beautifully

so this is what we are doing when we do meditation

I set my alarm my buzzer for 1hr 40 mins

because it's 99 minutes

and that's lucky in Thailand, so ...

99 minutes

and

usually the first 99 minutes isn't that nice

it takes me a long time

to get my meditation started

partly because, if you meditate for long periods of time

the meditation doesn't feel very important

because you are going to be doing it all day

if you've got 15 minutes then you

your meditation - you want to make it important so you put in more effort

so that's one thing I have noticed with myself

if I am meditating before I go to university or something

I've got 15 minutes it's a really good 15 minutes

because I put my back into it

as all this stuff comes up in my mind

and it seems really important I want to think about the boxing

I want to think about

my room

I want to think about books that I want to write

YouTubes that I want to make

videos that I want to edit

all the stuff

this stuff comes from habit

that's what the

all psychology is about really is about how this habit forms

stuff comes up because you've thought about it before

and given it importance before

if you can break that importance to all this stuff that's coming up

they mystery, the thing that lies behind it

starts to reveal itself as very clear and very present

and this is what mindfulness

actually is

mindfulness is often presented as

being mindful of what you are doing

that's

stage 1 - that will help you

mindfulness in the original context

was sati and sampajanya

satimeans to recollect

sampajanya is the feeling of your own awareness

if you can recollect the feeling of your own awareness

this is stable ground

and will appear

as stable ground appear as something beautiful

once you absorb into it

now that is a very definite and clear experience

so we are not rejecting all experience

we are rejecting all of this churning of the mind

so this is the

meaning of attachment and non-attachment

I would offer up to switch the word 'attachment'

for the word 'importance'

or the word 'delighting in'

nandhi - it means holding something in your conscious attention

that's the thing that we are trying to ... that's the habit that we are trying to break

after that - then the mystery starts to present itself

it becomes clearer and clearer

I have a lot of stuff in my mind

Just as you have a lot of stuff in your mind

but after a while of watching it

watching ... watching ... then 'phut'

you catch those moments when the mind stops churning

then like: that's right

I have a metaphor

or analogy

which I want to finish off on

and this was a .. something from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

and they are talking about the Bardo states

which are states that appear after you die

and before you take a rebirth

now whether that is true

or not true

I am not interested I am using this as a metaphor

but what they say is

that after you die

because you don't have the physical body slowing things down

what happens is when a beautiful thought occurs to you

beautiful state starts to arise

you become immensley beautiful and angelic

and deve-like

but when an angry, greedy or unwholesome thought

thought appears to you

you become completely un... completely greedy

unangelic

and you become like a monster

and apparently this is the experience

this is what they are describing is the experience

will be so unstable, jumping around

from one thing to another thing and the mind will take on these

gigantic proportions because there's nothing slowing it down

we have our physical bodies to

matter to slow things down

and give you a kind of sense of stability

but after you die, your mind just goes so completely wild

nothing to hold it back

and this is why in Buddhism they say that

the moment after you die is

a period where you can become enlightened

if you have done a lot of practice

we don't normally teach in that way because

you come and do your practice with me and after you are die you'll be alright ...

we want to stay away from that kind of thing

like: give me all your money and I'll put it into a bank account

and when you die you can withdraw it

in the meantime I've got all your money!

so we tend to stay away from those kind of teachings

but they are there

and they do say that when you die there is a moment where you can

have a high potential for attaining enlightenment

because the mind is so powerful

but as your mind switches between angels and monsters

flipping from one extreme to the other extreme

according to the book

out of all of this will appear a soft blue light

and the soft blue light will appear attractive

because it's stable

and so your attention goes in to that soft, stable blue light

and once you enter into that blue light you've entered into a womb

and into a rebirth

and you're going to be born

as a being, creature

now I can't verify that that's what will happen

is it a blue light?

what happens if you die and then you see like a yellow light?

you are like: well, is that the ....

is that the right light? or is that the wrong light? do I ....

where do I go?

so

I don't want to suggest what you do when you die

I don't know myself

but I really liked this I do have faith

and I do have trust in Buddhism

and I like this as a metaphor

because in the meditation this is how the mystery starts to appear

out of this maelstrom of monsters and demons and angels and

beautiful and hateful states of mind

that come rattling through shaking my cage

telling me I'm important I'm important

appears this soft gentle just awareness

simple awareness and presence

that's the mystery

that's what we are trying to get hold of in meditation

when you sink into that

once in a while the mind will stop

and this becomes quite clear

this is a Gotrabhu

this is a change of lineage

it's very clear when you exit from that state into the - this new state

from that new vantage point you can still see the mind churning away

but it has zero importance

doesn't really matter anymore what the mind is doing

you don't need ... enlightenment isn't

going to be creating a new state of mind

because you can see all of that stuff, going

and here this is very simple very clear and present

so that's where Ajahn Chah described it nicely

he said you have your ... crossing over a stream or a brook

but you didn't commit to jumping over

and you wound up with one leg on one bank

and one leg on the other bank and not being able to go in either direction

such a great metaphor!

because you are in the mystery

but you can see the mind churning you haven't quite crossed over yet

so the second stage of it is when you actually cross straight over

and you are just in that bright stillness

presence

at that point there's absolutely nothing left to do

well this is the Path it becomes very clear

what is interesting that I find

is the mind of the self and the ego

self-identity

isn't there at that point

when you come out of the meditation

usually you get on and you are doing your stuff

and you are working in the world

and then you are suddenly like hang on a minute

when I was meditating it was something really

important there

but you see 'I' wasn't there

I can't remember it I wasn't present

because this whole me is something all created up

so bit by bit it starts to filter into your consciousness

and you get more and more of a trust

I know what happens now when I let my entire

self go and I know that it's beautiful

in those times what I find is I become

happy for no reason

I'm not a happy person, generally

I'm a whinger well I'm English

we grumble we moan

that's what we like to do

but what I find funny is just this kind of happiness

kind of upwells

for no reason within me

and it's remembering that

because I've seen that mystery, I've been in that mystery

So I'm going to leave it there today

this was the topic attachment, and non-attachment

because

these Singaporeans that come to see me - that was their question

why is it that you want to practice non-attachment

isn't that a crazy thing to do

the answer is yes

you have to be attached to the things of the world, and life

but in meditation it makes perfect sense

OK I'm going to leave it there. if anyone has a question or a comment ....

For more infomation >> Man is a Machine That Winds Its Own Springs: talk on what's wrong with attachment - Duration: 44:19.

-------------------------------------------

What is Psychodynamic Therapy? - Duration: 12:35.

In the 1870s, thermodynamics were a hot topic.

No pun intended.

It explained energy and heat in a way that made sense and it

drastically advanced the field of physics.

Everybody was talking about it and everybody wanted a piece of it.

And one particular scientist at the University of Vienna named Ernst Wilhelm Von Brücke

thought to himself,

"Well wait a second, if these laws dictate our entire world, then aren't all living

beings, including humans, just bodies of energy that would also abide by these laws?"

Ernst published his theory in 1874, which was a significant year because it was the same

year that he began advising a bright, young, first-year medical student.

Albert Einstein.

I'm just kidding, it's Sigmund Freud.

Freud really liked Von Brucke's theory, so he stole it and took it a step further.

He surmised that not only do the laws of thermodynamics apply to the human body,

but they also apply to the human psyche.

Voila!

Psychodynamic theory was born.

A lot of early psychologists became founders and devotees to this theory, including Freud

himself and Carl Jung.

And it became the basis for the first talk therapy techniques, including Psychoanalysis.

If you're interested in learning more about psychoanalysis, then check out my video for

more on that.

Around the same time, a boy named Alfred Adler was born to a

Jewish grain merchant and his wife.

Alfred developed rickets at a young age and was not able to walk

until he was four years old.

His healthy older brother was showered with attention, while his mother had

very little patience for Alfred's needs.

At one point he developed pneumonia and the doctor told his father, "Your boy is lost."

But Alfred beat the odds.

He recovered from his afflictions, grew strong, and became

fiercely competitive with his older brother.

Little did Alfred know, his illness and sibling rivalry would lead him to develop an entirely

new form of mental health treatment...

Psychodynamic Therapy.

Before we dive in, let's answer a very important question.

What do we mean when we say "Psychodynamic Therapy"?

Often Psychoanalysis and Psychodynamic Therapy are used as interchangeable terms, but they're

quite different.

And a lot of people - like Anna Freud and Melanie Klein - developed different flavors

of this technique, based on different interpretations of the human psyche.

But Alfred Adler stands out as the first and most prominent psychodynamic theorist whose

impact continues to this day.

As such, today I'll be focusing on Adlerian techniques to describe Psychodynamic Therapy.

To better understand Psychodynamic Therapy, let's talk about what it believes.

Psychodynamic Therapy believes that striving for superiority is the core motivation for

all human beings.

Which...kinda sounds dark.

But superiority doesn't necessarily refer to trying to dominate other people or wanting

a leadership role or having other people admire you.

Instead, superiority means rising above what you currently are and striving to live a more

perfect and complete life.

That sounds...pretty nice!

Adler proposed that human beings truly believe that the perfect and complete life is attainable

and so we create our own fictional goals for our lives and believe that those personal

goals are the entire purpose of life.

If you realize these goals, you realize your "ideal self".

So logically, a person's life will be greatly influenced by these goals that they perceive

to be the purpose of life.

However, Adler proposed that striving towards our ideal self will bring up inescapable feelings

of inferiority, or not being good enough.

He termed this common human experience the "inferiority complex".

As we know from his story, Adler had a lot of personal experience with inferiority.

But he didn't think that that was a bad thing.

Adler believed that those feelings of inferiority have driven every improvement humanity has

developed to better deal with our world.

Like computers or indoor plumbing.

See, the belief is that areas where you feel inferior influence

where you choose to become superior.

And wherever you choose to become superior becomes your "lifestyle".

For example, let's say that you felt less intelligent than others at a young age.

You might strive to become intellectually superior.

Your routine, habits, and interactions will then change to

achieve that goal of intellectual superiority.

Essentially, your lifestyle becomes one of an intellectual and other people will start

to describe you as introverted, bookish, or smart.

So take a moment and think about your own lifestyle.

You live your life the way that you do because you find it important.

The reason you are not in the gym for hours every day is probably because being extremely

physically fit isn't your ideal self.

Or maybe you do go to the gym every day, in which case...good for you.

Psychodynamic Therapy also heavily focuses on childhood experiences and family environment

as the root of many mental health issues and disorders.

Adler developed the idea of birth order, which is the theory that your position in your family

will influence your inferiorities and also your lifestyle choices.

You know, the whole "eldest child is type-A, middle child is the rebel, youngest child

is the baby" thing.

When I first heard about birth order, I was super into the idea because it seemed to fit

so well with my own family.

But the evidence for a birth order effect on personality is actually pretty weak.

It may seem accurate within a family, but when scientists look at whole populations,

they don't really see an effect.

Psychodynamic Therapy also examines a person's level of social interest.

Social interest is the desire and capacity to coordinate and work with other people for

the greater good.

"The greater good."

"Shut it!"

See, unlike, psychoanalysis, which focuses on internal conflicts, Psychodynamic Therapy

is more concerned with interpersonal conflicts.

Adler understood that humans are inherently social beings and so, to be healthy, a person

must have real involvement and investment in society.

In childhood, social interest can be nourished in a family environment of respect, trust,

support, and understanding.

Or it can be squashed in an atmosphere of competition, mistrust, neglect, domination,

or abuse.

Children from the latter kinds of families are more likely to strive for their ideal

self at the expense of others through selfish means.

Okay, so now that we know what Psychodynamic Therapy believes,

let's look at how it's done.

Unlike psychoanalysis where the client lays down on a couch and the therapist is just

out of view, Psychodynamic Therapy happens face to face.

It's also the first form of therapy to implement the empathetic therapist, which is now

standard practice in modern counseling.

See, the therapist is not a detached, emotionless blank slate like in psychoanalysis.

Instead, the therapeutic relationship becomes an integral part of treatment.

The therapist has positive regard for the client and shows genuine interest in their

well-being.

The first few sessions will typically just focus on gathering info on the client's

concerns and building that therapeutic relationship.

The primary goal of Psychodynamic Therapy is to make the unconscious...conscious.

The therapeutic relationship with the therapist can reveal how the person

interacts with their friends or family.

The therapist then engages in consciousness raising by sharing their observations with

the client.

Suddenly, unconscious emotions, desires, and relationship patterns become visible.

And when the client examines themselves, they're more able to make

changes in problematic areas.

Consider this client who received divorce papers from his wife a few weeks ago.

After discussing the issue over a few sessions, the therapist begins to challenge him and

engage in consciousness raising.

Counselor: It sounds like you're saying your wife hasn't been emotionally present

for you in the way you would like her to be.

Robert: Yeah, I mean.

She's there, but...I don't know.

We've both made a lot of mistakes.

Counselor: I notice that whenever we talk about Rachel's responsibility in the divorce,

you seem to have difficulty criticizing her behavior.

Have you noticed that yourself?

Robert: No, I'd never thought of it like that before.

But I think you're right.

I mean, that makes a lot of sense.

Counselor: And what do you think makes you stop short of being critical?

By making the client conscious of his reluctance to criticize his wife, it opens up a new conversation

and may spur the client to further examine the dynamics of his relationship with his

soon-to-be ex-wife.

Another tool used in session is contingency control.

This is a way of reframing a selfish goal in a humorous way so that the client can mock

it rather than feel condemned by the therapist.

For example, if you are a perfectionist, the therapist might have you imagine yourself

as a mad scientist with frizzy hair, bent on taking over the world by building a giant

lego robot.

But the scientist can't achieve this goal because they're too focused on the color

and type of lego to begin with.

Not only is it funny, but the client can understand how silly it is to allow something so small

dictate such an elaborate plan.

Another technique used by Psychodynamic Therapy is choosing.

This technique allows clients to step outside of their comfortable lifestyles so they can

pursue new lifestyles.

One tool that's commonly used is the "as if".

Let's say a client says that she would really like to ask out her next-door neighbor

on a date.

But she says that she's shy and says, "I'm not really the kind of person to start a conversation".

The therapist may task the client with acting "as if" they are that assertive person

who does make the first move.

She doesn't have to become that person, she just has to act like it.

If the client follows through, she'll probably find out that it works - even if she doesn't

get the date - and that by acting in this way, she transforms fiction into reality.

With all of these techniques, the therapist can help the client understand their unconscious

desires, inferiorities, and lifestyle, develop a healthy social interest, improve interpersonal

relationships, and achieve realistic goals.

And treatment doesn't go on indefinitely, either.

Psychodynamic Therapy is relatively short-term.

While there is no set limit to sessions, it typically involves one session a week for

anywhere from three months to a couple of years.

All right, so now we know what Psychodynamic Therapy believes and how it's done.

But, does it work?

Unfortunately, not much research has been conducted on the

actual effectiveness of Psychodynamic Therapy.

And it depends on which study you look at.

It's definitely more effective than no treatment.

And it's been found to be about as effective as psychoanalytic therapy in a few studies.

Newer treatments like behavioral and cognitive methods appear to consistently outperform

Psychodynamic Therapy.

But, some recent research shows that, when you control for therapist loyalty, the effectiveness

is about the same as most other modern therapies.

However, Psychodynamic Therapy has not gone through the rigorous process of becoming an

"evidence-based practice" like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

This means that its techniques haven't been studied enough to show their effectiveness.

So it's kind of hard to give it a strong endorsement.

Regardless of whether Psychodynamic Therapy is the right choice for treatment, it has

undoubtedly changed the therapeutic landscape.

It introduced new concepts like the empathetic therapist and short-term care, while also

building the foundation for newer treatments.

So that's nothing for little Alfred to feel inferior about.

Thanks for watching this episode of Micah Psych.

Achieve superiority by subscribing, act "as if" you're a fan by hitting the like button,

and you can raise my consciousness by leaving a comment for me down below.

Until next time, I'm Micah.

Think about it.

For more infomation >> What is Psychodynamic Therapy? - Duration: 12:35.

-------------------------------------------

This Documentary About Tickling Isn't Quite What You Think It Is - Duration: 3:01.

 Tickling is a just bit of harmless fun, right? It's what parents do to their young kids when they're messing around, gentle physical contact that makes them laugh because that's what happens when you tickle someone

But as reporter/filmmaker David Farrier found out, there's a very sinister side to it, too, As this trailer for a new documentary called Tickled shows:  If that's not one of the most scary and bizarre things you've ever seen, then you've seen some truly terrifying and bizarre things

 It all apparently started when Farrier, who seems to be a bit like Louis Theroux in his obsession to investigate all things weird, stumbled on a video online of "competitive endurance tickling"

We've all been there, right?  He decided that this could be a good subject for him to concentrate on - because who wouldn't be interested in a story about young men getting paid to be tied up and tickled? - and reached out to the company about it

Credit: Magnolia Pictures  What he got in return was a shocking reply that mocked Farrier's sexual orientation and threatened legal action if he dug any deeper

So, of course he did, and the result is a documentary that, if the trailer is anything to go, starts out just a little bit weird and takes a nasty turn for the downright sinister

 We've yet to watch the whole thing but it poses so many questions. Firstly, who would actually want to be tied up and tickled for a long time? Because as we all know, if you get tickled for too long it just becomes painful

Even if the people involved seemingly make thousands from doing it.  Secondly, why are they paying people to be tickled and thirdly, where does all their money come from? According to the blurb on YouTube, Farrier ends up "discovering secret identities and criminal activity

despite increasingly sinister threats."Credit: Magnolia Pictures  The whole thing has, erm, definitely tickled our interest

We know what we'll be doing later. No, not getting tied up and tickled - just watching that happen to other people and trying not to get too freaked out about the murky world of tickling, tickle cells and the hold that the company in question seems to have on those who are part of it

Although it's already too late for that. Featured Image Credit: Magnolia Pictures