Waching daily Apr 2 2018

♫ Ma$e - "Welcome Back" ♫

Don't get too comfortable. I'm trying to keep y'all on y'alls toes. Hey YouTube

World. It's me, Evelyn. I appreciate y'all so much. Y'all gas me, alright? And we all

know I could use more of that, you know what I'm saying?

♫ Kanye West - "Flashing Lights (Gurf Remix)" ♫

But seriously, the top genre of comments I get are people welcoming me back to YouTube.

Every single video I post, somebody welcomes me back to YouTube. Now sis, you can only

go and come back but so many times before it's not a hiatus, it's a brand.

I'm not Jesus okay? I will leave you and I will foresake you.

YouTube is now old enough and pervasive enough that we've seen a complete cycle. An entire

youtube lifetime has come and gone. There's a new generation, if you will. And this website

has changed the way we expect to be entertained. On demand, never ceasing, and for free.

And I think we've all bore witness? Beared witness? Bore witness. I think we've all watched

those awkward videos where your favorite Youtuber is announcing that the daily vlog is ending,

that vlogging ruined their relationship, "change".

I hate the title Content Creator. It sounds so robotic, so mechanical. It ain't got no

soul. Sounds like I'm just a machine cranking out nonsensical contents. What's a content?

I prefer Internet Humorist. Digital Storyteller. Online Griot. ♫ African drums play ♫

I know a lot of y'all found my crevice of the internets through my VEDA videos. And

though I am mortified at the idea of my old videos, it is still delightfully overwhelming

when y'all tweet, comment, DM that presently, you watch my old videos to get a good laugh.

It means I got the juice, okay? And the juice is still fresh. Cold pressed. And the cool

thing is, for better or worse, it would seem to me at least sometimes, that a lot of y'all

think that my offerings here on YouTube come easily to me. Bay-bay. It is not effortless,

this is all very effortful. And in my opinion, churning out vlogs, stories, videos, "content"

- especially on a daily basis - is not actually sustainable. The only other group of people

who come close to doing that are news anchors. Everybody else take a break. Your favorite

TV show goes on hiatus. Shonda Rhimes be taking a hiatus in the middle of the season! And

I know we not Emmy award winning over here at youtube.com/evelynfromtheinternets, but

keep in mind that I'm still an artist, and I'm sensitive about my sh--

(whoosh) Okay!

We are writing. And we're deleting, okay. Uhhh. Oh no. Hmm. Uhhhh...

(talks to self)

Okay.

Uhhh...

Help.

On some Black Mirror, I think that time will only reveal more and more the full scope,

the true depth of the mental, emotional, and social ramifications of all of this. You there.

Me here. Talking to a camera. You know how people always talk about integrity online?

The different standards that online publications and personalities are held to. It's the reason

why beauty gurus really want you to know - they be hitting you with the disclaimer - that

they really do love this serum and it's not just because Glossier flew them to Paris and

here go a coupon code. We usually talk about integrity online when it comes to advertising,

but I also think about it in terms of my own personal values. I am not a content machine.

I have no intention of being one. Y'all know that. It is hard though. Sometimes the devil

be in my ear. Yap yap yapping, and I feel behind, I feel incompetent, I feel not as

popping. And sometimes I feel stupid for not just going out in the world, finding a beige

boyfriend and starting a daily vlog. I live in Austin, TX. It's doable.

And outside of this channel, I did this professionally. Social media management. Living in the highways

and byways of the Internet. Gotta do the next thing. Algorithms here. Equations over there.

Ads not reaching so and so. What we gotta tweak? What we gotta do? More! We need more!

And I am not interested. (chuckles) (African accent) I don't want. When I think about integrity

and the promises I made to myself, it is me choosing to navigate a world that values 24/7

stream of information and entertainment instead of slow learning, slow stories, and a sustainable

lifestyle - especially online.

Lauryn Hill said we gotta find peace of mind and I'm just out here trying to be peaceful.

So am I vlogging every day in April? The answer is a strong y-- if the spirit moves me.

♫ Anders Bothén - Quotes 2 ♫ And I'm very thankful that you choose to be here still when it does.

So in the comments below, let me know if any of this made sense, and I will see you on

the internet somewhere. Bye!