people have been asked me to do a video on polyamory for over a year now so here
we go the way I define polyamory is a mutual agreement to have sexual and/or
emotional relationships outside of your main relationship with full disclosure
before I tell you my opinion about this I would like to go over some of the
nuances and types that I have personally noticed when looking at polyamorous
couples I'm actually friends with quite a few
people that per take in this relationship style and some of them are
exceptions to the things that I will be criticizing so kudos to you guys but the
general polyamorous couple falls into some categories that I don't think are
that healthy the most apparent problem with polyamory is that you can't have an
even playing field the woman will always have an easier time of having sex or
relationships outside of their relationship this creates an odd and
unfair dynamic right off the bat so I ask myself why would a guy want to be a
polyamorous and then I realized the thrown question the actual question is
what type of guy who want to partake in this kind of relationship and I've
narrowed it down to about five categories of man the first is the most
common and it's kind of a shy reserved a little bit insecure Bayda style dude who
gets a girl that he really really likes but the girl's not quite ready to just
be with him or whatever her motivations are she wants to pretend things outside
as a relationship but he's her rock or they have a great friendship or maybe
she does really love him but she just like once her cake and eat
it too and he goes along with it because he's scared of losing her and sometimes
he probably didn't even know that she's going to mind until later but they're
already doing the polyamorous saying the reason I classify these guys like this
is because the guys don't actually end up doing anything outside the
relationship the women do the women go and have loads of different boyfriends
and sexual encounters and it's all open and
honest but the guy like six sits at home because that's his personality and have
a hard time meeting people to begin with so opening up the relationship for him
really doesn't open up the relationship for him the types of growth that open up
their relationships when they have that type of mail they're either really naive
or they know exactly what they're doing the second classification of guys that /
sakes and polyamory is a cock like a literal cook who gets off on knowing
that his girl is getting favors from other men outside the relationship so
that's pretty self-explanatory the next two classifications are the ones that
actually can work and maybe polyamory for these kinds of men makes sense so
the first is a commitment-phobe like he's not ready to settle down but he
doesn't really care about a girl but he knows he doesn't just want to be with
her so instead of restricting her and cheating on her he opens the
relationship up and both parties benefit so in that case what I tend to see is
both the man and the woman do have multiple partners in a pretty evenly
dispersed manner and it tends to work and it tends to work for a long time I
also see that eventually these relationships do unify and become
exclusive as one or both of the parties work on their commitment issue or just
grow up when I say grow up I don't mean it in a
condescending way I mean it like maybe they want a family now or maybe they're
just tired of managing all these different people the fourth type of man
that / takes in polyamory is the guy who actually doesn't have too many feelings
of jealousy because he doesn't want children with his partner and that's
usually mutual so when you never want kids with the girl you're dating that
jealousy aspect biologically isn't quite as strong so I feel like polyamory isn't
as problematic as it could be for that man the fourth type is also pretty
sustainable and it tends to be a power couple sometimes married sometimes not
who don't want kids that is just not in their cards and because they don't have
family life in their future it keeps things pretty clean cut the reason this
is a male classification is when a man doesn't want children with anyone even
their main partner they're much less likely to exhibit feelings of jealousy
when she has other male partners because that is biologically where that jealousy
comes from that possessiveness comes from the fear that your woman is going
to be impregnated by another man but if you don't want kids and you literally
don't care then that happens I guess you would just not be with her anymore and
go and find someone else who doesn't want kids either that's my
rationalization for that type of male and I would say for this type of
relationship there is a personality type that goes along with it they tend to be
very highly logical rational maybe a little bit ask me even but I do know a
few people that have had relationships like that and again a lot of the time
they end up becoming fully monogamous with one of the partners they're
participating with because often people especially women getting to their early
30s do change the mind about having children the last category is a guy who
is in a relationship with almost allez bian so I know a few couples who are
married or in long-term relationships some of them have kids some of them
don't and the woman likes girls once in a while and she's either a lesbian but
wants a family and who does love that specific male or she is buy some time so
she goes out of the relationship and has sex and relationships with other females
but it's non-threatening because she can't get pregnant so yeah I think
that's actually the best kind of polyamorous relationship when the women
exclusively have sex with only women and also can you cheat on your tennis
partner with your chess partner they're totally different sports so I I'm not
sure if you get what I mean by that is their female partner is fulfilling needs
that their male partner cannot which to me makes a lot more sense than having
sex with another man when you already have a man there's also the flip side of
this where the man in the relationship is gay or bi needs a penis thing once in
a while and he goes outside of the marriage to do so there's another type
of kind of de-facto polyamory that I have heard of and this is one ex fully
support this is when a couple is married and they have children and for some
reason the wife doesn't want her husband to ever touch her again just loses full
interest in sex and this does happen it and it usually results in divorce which
in my opinion is bad for the children both emotionally and economically the
alternatives to a divorce is allowing your husband to have sex with other
women I think that's a much better option especially if you're still on a
really good friendship basis and you respect each other I think it's unfair
for a wife from the middle of a marriage to just say never touch me again there
needs to be some kind of compromise there so that is I think that's a de
facto polyamory I'd like to segue to a side note from this Holly Emory is a
better option than divorce 100% if that's what you need to do to stay
together do it getting divorced because you want to be with other people is
actually a really childish and silly reason why did you get married
even if Jesus doesn't know so better than divorce having a monogamous
relationship I think is the most valuable fulfilling type of relationship
if you want children it's the best relationship logically first of all it
doesn't make sense to help multiple partners when you have a little kids I
don't understand how you would find at the time also it's not something you
want your kids observing I understand doing this much later in your marriage
if you want to when your kids are a lot older and even then I really wouldn't
have a full disclosure thing with them I think that's kind of an appropriate like
I don't want to know what my parents do and you know inside or outside there I
just don't want to know and I think this whole like honesty's the best policy is
the most retarded fucking concept and I've ever heard of when it comes to your
children no they don't need to know about your sex life whatever that sex
life may be of course if your children are in their mid-20s they'll probably
figure out for themselves but at that point you're not going to you can't have
like a long-lasting negative psychological effect argument because
they're grown adults when your children are young highly recommend doing the
traditionalist thing and for your own well-being and sanity I highly recommend
staying with one partner it keeps things simple it keeps things focused it keeps
things fully devoted to one individual without complications of management and
emotions and multiple people there are exceptions to these rules I know of a
few married couples with children who go outside of the relationship I can't
testify to the healthy nature of the relationship so and I can't testify
against the healthy nature of the relationship but they exist and I'm sure
some of them work of course most of the time when I talk to the general
polyamorous community especially the men they'll say things like I'm a real man I
don't have jealousy because I'm secure in my manhood because you're jealous
that doesn't mean you're insecure in your manhood jealousy is a very healthy
part of being a man ah a little bit of possessiveness is
also a very healthy and actual part of being a man and if your man doesn't feel
any jealousy towards you I think something is actually wrong I I think
jealousy is a signal to them caring and loving you obviously not in very high
doses or extreme doses but I totally dismiss the assumption that jealousy
equals bad my advice to people is if you're considering polyamory or your
partners considering polyamory really take a step back and think about your
motivations for that consideration just because something feels good doesn't
mean it is good it doesn't mean that it's healthy positive worthwhile
beneficial or meaningful it's actually a really bad argument another shitty
arguments that polyamorous tend to make is that monogamy is not
natural first of all that's not true some humans are more monogamous than
others and I go into great detail about this in my mating series video so check
it out if you disagree but okay so then the argument can be I'm not naturally
monogamous it's not in my nature all right
seems like you're saying that you're at the whim of your chemical composition
and animalistic urges I mean you can make the same argument and say I'm not
naturally kind I'm not naturally moral I'm not naturally not a killer yeah good
luck with that part of the value of a monogamous relationship is that
exclusivity is that sacrifice is that orientation towards one person for most
of this community polyamory is hedonism masked in some sort of evolved superior
relationship type but at the end of the day it's kind of like just having your
cake and eating it too but guess what guys cakes not that good for you
Oh
you
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