- This is Ed.
He was a daily heroin user for over a year
before he got clean
and he is here to explain some of the ways
everyone gets heroin addiction wrong.
- It's gonna be fun.
Movies portray heroin addiction as happening instantly.
You jab that needle into your arm, and boom,
you're a skinny bass player in a grunge band.
I've literally never met anyone who was introduced
to heroin with a needle.
Most start by popping or smoking pills
and when you start using opioids you can use daily for weeks
with no withdrawal effects whatsoever.
I used to get totally wasted with my girlfriend Sally
every night and woke up every morning clear as a bell.
So it was super easy to think.
- Hey, why not use again?
- It was like drinking without a hangover.
Turns out the really bad part of heroin
isn't the physical dependency, it's the addiction.
There's a difference.
People act like addictive drugs are just
needles full of addiction gremlins.
But I didn't use heroin because of heroin,
I used it because I had serious problems
in my life that I wasn't addressing.
The gremlins were inside me all along.
Heroin helped me ignore them,
which made quitting harder because I had to face
not only withdrawal but all the crap I've been
trying to avoid in the first place.
- I can't take it, man, my arm.
My (beep) arm.
- The scene from Requiem For A Dream,
it's pretty melodramatic.
When this happened to my girlfriend
we just drained her abcess with a hot compress
and disinfected razor blade.
Blackened limb rot was so commonplace
it was practically boring.
The real danger is buying stronger heroin
than you're use to by accident.
Since there's no FDA for illegal street drugs
heroin potency is less closely monitored than, say,
orange juice pulp.
It's pretty easy to get some fire dope by accident.
That's the equivalent of ordering a latte,
but when you go to take a sip you find out
it's made of shotgun blast.
(shotgun firing)
- Ugh, casuals.
- Some people think the danger of heroin
is that you might inject some that's been cut
with Drano or something, no.
The danger of heroin is accidentally injecting heroin
that's too damn good.
So I guess it's more like ordering a latte
and accidentally getting a mocha latte, and then.
(shotgun firing)
This is getting dark.
Let's talk about my penis for a second.
Eventually I got arrested because while heroin made it hard
for me to keep a job,
it created a lot of opportunities for petty theft,
and since I couldn't get any horse in jail
I quickly discovered that one of the side effects of heroin
withdrawal is uncontrollable orgasms,
and not the good kind, the bad kind of orgasm.
Yes, those exist.
Since heroin numbs your body, getting clean involves
being hypersensitive, so I was climaxing painfully
whenever anything came into contact with my junk,
and prison is just full of stuff
you don't wanna be cumming on.
I'm clean now and my dick works again.
Withdrawal only lasts three weeks,
the physical symptoms, anyway.
After those subside only two things remain.
The first is post acute withdrawal syndrome,
which means depression, insomnia, restlessness,
overwhelming guilt, and in my case, vivid nightmares.
In one, I have a bag of dope in my hand
and I'm looking for a place to shoot up
but every time I find one I get interrupted.
The dream always ends with a needle in my arm
and just before I push off I wake up.
But the worst part is the problems that made me
turn to heroin in the first place.
They're still here.
And they actually got worse while I was high
because instead of working on them I had been
really, really high.
My point is that if I were going to give a review of heroin,
it would be negative.
♫ Ooh Ooh Oooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
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And if you're still looking for something to do
call your parents, tell them you love them.
And call mine, too.
I forgot to.
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