Basically tonight I wanted to talk a little bit about my way to Islam.
I like brother there grew up in the country.
We had a farm.
We also didn't have very much fun with chickens.
And again likewise we didn't have any television.
We were left to play amongst ourselves make our own fun.
And I guess I was left on those cold winter nights to contemplate about life when I was
four years old.
And think about you know was there more to life.
And I didn't really think that much about it to be honest.
When we moved to the city I remember my best friend at the time who really it was only
happening to be my best friend because we sat together in grade 3.
He was a very devout Christian now his parents were devout Christians he was obviously just
dragged along to church.
But my whole life I'd never been to a church not once.
My parents had always said: When you die you're worm food that's it.
There's no afterlife.
You're not going to come back as a as a bird or an ant or anything.
That's it nothing and they basically believe that.
Because they've been dragged along to church all their lives and they hated every minute
of it.
So when we grew up they basically told us there's nothing else Alhamdulillah they gave
us our own opportunity to basically think about what we believed and they didn't force
us to believe or disbelieve anything.
Now my first spiritual experience happened in Grade three when I was 8 years old.
My friend who I used to sit next to best friend and I used to have this thing where we'd say
swear on our friendship you know if you say something and you mean it you better swear
on our friendship which I mean was a friendship for about three weeks so it wasn't really
with a big deal.
But it still meant a lot one time one time one thing was particularly important to him
and he said listen bro I'm not going to get you to on our friendship I'm gonna get you
to vow to God.
Now I remember thinking to myself: Vow to God you know what's that mean?
My friend said to me it means if you lie you're gone.
You can't lie on this one right you can swear on our friendship and you can live but on
this one it's all over no what do you mean guess what God's everywhere.
Now obviously he's Christian so he's explaining his belief.
I go: What do you mean God's everywhere?
I can get I could go to the toilet and he's there with me as well?
What are you talking about?
He said he'll find you if you lie the worst part was I was lying and I did vow to God
and that night first spiritual experience.
I was so scared that God was gonna kill me in the middle of an eye.
Because I had no understanding of God or this or that but I thought I've lied and I've vowed
to god.
I'm a goner.
Alhamdulillah I'm not and I made it anyway this friend and I obviously we actually been
friends for 19 years Alhamdulillah we're not friends anymore but we were friends for quite
a while.
Now I guess my story of my quest you know my holy path my way to Islam began in first
year University.
So coming from the country up bringing bringing moving to the city having my first spiritual
experience.
Now I'm in first to uni I had a particularly bad year.
And this is no joke seriously it was a very bad year my parents separated which was devastating
to me.
I had always thought of my parents have been people who'd be together in fact my friend's
parents would like he'd punch his wife and they're still together and my parents are
really nice to each other and they're not together I couldn't work it out.
So it sort of rocked my world a little bit.
I had two car accidents I just got in my plates now I'm a much better driver now.
But I had two car accidents in one week it was a pretty crappy car.
So it didn't really matter that much.
I had some problems with the police as well I won't go into those details.
Inshallah there's no one here from the police.
My dog died which I was particularly upset about.
I love that dog and sadly I had a friend pass away he had cancer and I watched him slowly
die over the period of about eight months.
I think at that stage I started to think to myself: Is this really all there is?
Is this all there is to life that we just were born, we eat, watch TV, die, that's it.
I was pretty unsatisfied with that explanation so I guess I started a holy quest and I started
thinking I'm gonna find out for myself what the real truth is the truth for myself anyway.
And naturally as an Australian as an Aussie first thing I'm gonna think of is go to a
church that's that's religion you know let's go to a church.
My friend again very devoutly Christian friend recommended I go to a particular church.
I talked to the priest there well actually he's a pastor.
Because of the particular sect thereof and I would talk to him about religious I guess
you know questions that I had.
And I kept finding that I was getting a lot of opinion and he recommended that I go along
to a church camp.
I've got a bit nervous right but Alhamdulillah there nothing else happened except some fun.
We went along to this church camp.
I'm not meaning to offend anyone here by the way okay we went along to this church camp
and everybody was singing so much I couldn't believe it.
I didn't know any of the words that anyone was singing I didn't know any other notes
the head or whatever I felt pretty stupid.
But it was a really nice camp everyone was really loving everyone was really nice to
each other.
Everyone kept on telling me that God loved me.
And I kept on thinking: God killed my dog!
Doesn't love me.
One night when we're in this church camp.
I remember that we were in tents and we all snuck out as you do.
And we went down there was a lake not far from where we were camping.
And we all sat down and we were talking about ghost stories.
And I swear to you this is what we believed.
We could see across the the like the Grim Reaper I mean obviously the Grim Reaper is
going to come to a church camp.
That's where he's going to go and we all know absolutely was so frightened we all ran back
to our tents.
And we told everyone Nick the next day.
And to be honest with you I don't think I really did say it I just wanted to fit in.
So I was saying: Yeah!
It's over there been run!
But at the same time I don't think I actually saw anything.
But what I realized at that stage was that all of these guys were sort of the people
on the camp was sort of searching for something more spiritual than my head.
And so they were inventing these sort of ghosts and things.
Because obviously I think that the sort of spiritual nature of the camp just wasn't there
for them.
From there I guess you know it's sort of talked to some of these Christians and I talk to
certain people and you know I thought it was really nice what they were saying there's
some beautiful teachings in the Bible.
I still believe there are beautiful teachings in the Bible.
But I wasn't didn't find what I was looking for.
At that time I was working in a service station you've probably paid me for some fuel in the
past that was quite a while ago and I'm sure you have.
And I was working alongside a Hindu now we're not talking Apu from The Simpsons or anything
like that but lovely guy.
He was studying as well at the same University at this university at Melbourne Uni and we
would have these deep theological debates at about midnight while people were buying
their guests you know there are taxi drivers this and that.
And one of the things that I kept on asking him is you know talk to me about all these
gods I don't understand.
How come you have to have all these gods?
Guys now all this there's all these gods and this you know there's a certain number of
gods that are more powerful.
I said but seriously bro.
What's the deal with the guy with the elephant head?
Come on!
You know he's got a few arms he's got an elephant head - come on!
What's going on there?
You've got lions heads, tigers heads, eagle heads...
They're all so much better than the elephant's head.
Why did he pick that one?
And he didn't find it very funny.
But again I kept on you know I was taunting him a little bit but I was trying to find
the truth.
Another friend of mine is a Mormon and that's The Church of Latter-day Saints and I found
that this religion was actually a lot closer to what I thought it religion should be.
These guys don't drink they have dress codes.
They obviously have to be quite modest.
They don't drink caffeine so cokes out.
So anyone here are like coke forget it don't be a Mormon.
You can't drink it that's not the only reason but anyway.
Again I went to their house we had dinner beautiful meal.
And then I said this and let's all kneel on the floor and pray.
I thought yeah that's that's quite nice it was a nice meal I should probably thank someone
for it.
So we said we knelt down and then everyone started singing again.
What is with singing man?
They're not telling me the words you know I'm just saying you know it's terrible.
It's terrible.
And I thought I had a good voice but I know I don't I know.
I also investigated Judaism.
Now as Samia brother Samira mentioned my name is Reuben.
And you've probably seen at the end of movies you've seen Rubenstein or Reuben Burger all
those sort of things.
They probably thought I was Jewish, right?
Because they're really nice to me at the start.
But again after I kept on asking questions I just didn't find what I was looking for.
Then I looked into Buddhism now I really liked Buddhism.
I thought this was great.
You get to relax.
You get to be one with yourself now I really enjoy being one with myself.
And relaxing but again what I sort of started to find was that this is not so much a religion
of God but just a good way to live.
It's a nice way to live.
So I went in spoke to my friend this religious Christian friend of mine.
And I said look I've investigated all the religions and I can't find what I'm looking
for.
And he said to me: Well, what have you investigated?
And I said I will look I've investigated Christianity, I've investigated this, this ism, this out,
all these isms.
And he said to me: You've actually missed that one.
I said: No, I don't think so.
I think I pretty much covered everything.
He goes: Well, what about Islam?
And I went: Islam?
Mate, they're terrorists.
I'm not gonna investigate Islam.
They're crazy!
No way!
You know?
But lo and behold Alhamdulillah I found myself walking into preston mosque one day.
I was very nervous parking my car in the car park I thought it might explode.
I walked in through the doors.
I looked around there was hardly anyone around off for good.
I walked straight across the prayer rug with my shoes on.
I walk straight past the brother pray.
As he went into sujud I stepped on his head.
I had no idea.
Right?
I walk across and I stopped Abu Hamza came out of a door.
Mr. brother who just introduced us before Samia and I thought this is it.
I'm about to die.
I've seen this guy before.
I've seen him on the news.
I can't believe I come here looking for answers and I'm gonna die.
This is not fair but Alhamdulillah the first words to come out of Abu Hamza's mouth: Well
how're you mate?
Now he looked like he just walked out of the Sahara Desert.
Right?
He had a beard over here yeah but I mean he's wearing a dress that I thought it was a dress
right but I wasn't gonna tell him it didn't look good.
No way.
All he needed was a can of VB and he could have been hey I'll make one of the boys.
So um Alhamdulillah he was very welcoming and I was very thankful that's quite frightening.
Even though I'm twice he's hot.
We basically then sat down and I talked to the brothers there was a couple of brothers
that were always quite regularly there during the day when I could make it in between my
lectures when I when I do into them.
And we used to sit down and we talk about the different sort of questions that I had
and the things that I wanted to know about Islam.
They were very hospitable.
I kept on getting cups of tea biscuits now no other religious sect they've done this
for me as I was quite impressed.
And I didn't just come back for the biscuits I also came back for the knowledge.
Now I'm as an Aussie I was not used to this level of hospitality I should say.
I'm not sure I don't want to offend anyone again but as an Australian, if you offer someone
a cup of tea and they say: No.
You got okay. these guys wouldn't take no for an answer.
- Would you like a cup of tea bro? - No. No, thanks bro.
- Are you sure? - No, no, no. I'm alright.
Are you sure, bro? I'll go get one.
- No, no, I'm alright bro. - No, no, I'm getting one anyway.
So look I'll just get you one right now as I get you up.
All right man I'll take the tea. You know subhanAllah.
So I had to keep on taking toilet breaks you know there's cups of tea waiting when I come
back.
I put on about 10 kilos in my quest for religious enlightenment.
But anyway as I say we get back to the questions I was asking the brothers now what I'd found
with a lot of the other churches and people that I'd spoken to religious leaders was that
when i asked the question that we quite often just say: Your answer is this.
I say okay.
That's pretty good.
When I was sitting down with the brothers from the mosque when I would say: Listen I've
got I don't understand this what about this.
They would never just answer from their opinion.
They would always pick up the Quran and they would open it up and it would be like they're
like human indexes.
They were just banging page 142 read this.
And I would read it I would go well that's beautiful.
I would say: Look you know where's all this part about killing people and blowing up cars
and I don't see that.
Is it somewhere towards the back that I haven't read it yet?
I can't find it you know having quite gotten up to that bit yet and they said now we'll
we'll talk to you about what we know and then we'll tell you what the media says.
Now my my obvious some first impressions when I walked in with it these guys were terrorists.
And I found nothing but the opposite.
I've found that they were the most hospitable, caring nice people I mean these are guys that
would say do you need a lift home.
Because they saw my car.
Do you need a panel better but they really cared and I could see it in their eyes that
it wasn't something like um you know if you go to a church you need to donate or you know
we're looking for money from you.
These guys really cared and it intrigued me.
I thought how can they care so much about something?
It would blew me away.
So I kept on asking questions and as the brother before me was speaking about alcohol and marijuana
and all those sort of things obviously I I'd also take all of those things.
Alcohol I love the drink.
Loved watching the footy with a can of vb all that sort of stuff.
But I ask the brothers I said look I know that in Islam we can't drink alcohol.
You can't drink alcohol.
And they I remember speaking to them and they said look Islam is not just a religion for
yourself it's also a religion based on a whole social community.
Just because some people might be able to say I can just have a drink of wine with dinner
and that's it doesn't mean that everyone can do that.
At the same time some people only have a drink and next thing they've drunk 10.
They're driving a car and they've run over some poor kid on the road.
So the fact that Islam has this social conscience it's saying there are some that are going
to abuse it some that are prevention is better than cure rather than try and look at something
that we can cure later on Allah knows we're going to abuse it right and let's face it.
People with alcohol they abused it and I was a security guard for quite a while I saw a
lot of people abusing alcohol.
So Alhamdulillah I started realizing that Islam is not just about each individual it's
also a better community.
I also asked questions about the hijab and why couldn't I wear it.
How come I can have four wives how come she can't had four husbands huh but every time
I'd ask these questions I'm not going to answer them tonight.
Because I'm not giving a lecture you'll start laughing at me even more.
They would still give me reasons and as an Australian i would I would still struggle
a little bit with some of their reasons but the more and more I thought about this whole
social idea of islam working as a community I realized that all these things really fit
well together.
It's very difficult from it from an outside point of view to think okay the scarf or okay
the beard or okay the kabab, okay the abaya whatever but once you start actually looking
inside the religion working as a whole unit as in implementing every step of the way it
starts to make sense.
And it started to make sense but again I didn't want to just make a leap of faith because
i wasn't looking just to say hey that's my religion these guys have got panelbeaters
mechanics these are the guys for me right I wanted to actually find something that for
me really made sense.
One night I was sitting at home now I apologize to some people who may have heard this story
it's called the candle story.
I was sitting at home and I thought to myself I want to be you know one with myself again
I want to get closer to Allah.
So I lit a candle.
I opened the window had the blinds was a nice night bit warm you know but this is about
as spiritual as it gets you know the candle, the Quran...
I'm sitting there reading and I stopped and I thought to myself look this is the time.
This is my night.
Tonight Allah and me we're gonna have bit of a conversation we're gonna you know we're
going to bond all I need from you Allah is just just a sign just a little sign look nothing
too major just maybe a bolt of lightning.
Bolt of lightning for you man come on you created the earth this is just the bolt of
lightning it'll be easy.
So I sat there and I went ok go.
And I swear to you nothing happened.
Absolutely nothing.
I was really disappointed.
I said: Allah...
This is your chance.
I'm here I'm asking you.
Where's my sign you know come on I'll give you another chance.
Maybe you were busy you know it's nighttime here it's busier the other side of the world.
I'll give you another chance.
I said look this time don't worry about a bolt of lightning maybe I could just get a
bit of a creek in the floor you know maybe I could hear a car backfire something that
I'll know it's for me.
But no one else will know just between you and me.
Again I said: Go!
I'm waiting.
And I waited.
I think I waited about a minute.
And that felt like a long time at the time.
And nothing happened absolutely nothing happened.
And I was really disappointed.
I thought i'm like on this cliff, i'm on the edge of a cliff.
I'm about to jump into Islam and and I just haven't been pushed.
I haven't taken that little leap.
So I thought look I'll keep reading Quran and I'll talk to the brother's I'll say that
I spoke to Allah he didn't answer me.
Didn't give me an answering machine nothing.
So I turned I turned the Quran I open turn to the next page where I'd finished off.
So panel of the very next verse that I read: For those of you who asked for signs,
have We not shown you enough already?
Look around you at the skies, the stars, land, the oceans...
These are the signs for the people of knowledge.
Subhan Allah straight away my whole world changed.
I was staring at the Quran.
I was just in shock.
I couldn't believe that I'd been so arrogant to ask for my own specific sign when the signs
had been around me all the time.
There's a creator because there's a creation.
So I closed the Quran.
I had the best night sleep I got to tell you.
I went straight to the mosque the next day.
Alhamdulillah Abu Hamza was there again.
I said: Abu Hamza this is what's happened to me.
He said: That's it!
You become a Muslim today.
It's not mocking around with Abu Hamza.
I said but wait a second i just had a zinger burger we've dude on the way here you know
I've gotta brush my teeth or something it.
I heard we can't eat it.
You know what's going on?
Don't worry about all that yallah so but when I walked into the mosque the people just started
pouring in.
I went subhanAllah look at this religion you know I've been to churches where there's you
know 20 people 30 people 50 people there was about a thousand people that night.
And I thought this is amazing this religion is truly the religion of choice.
And then I found that it was the first night of ramadan.
You could all Ramadan Muslims but still it was nice.
So anyway Abu Hamza took me aside he said: Look you've got you're gonna have to say a
few words.
I said: What do you mean you go to say a few words?
I thought I had to sign something get a bit of garlic sauce on my tongue or something
that's it i'm a muslim.
He said now you've got to make Shahada when they witnesses.
You've got to say these words.
I said: Can't you just let me do it in English?
Have you seen the guys out there man they've all got beards down here they may see you
get these words wrong I'm I'm a dead man again you know you know you have to say them and
trust me bro you know trust me and I did.
And alhamdulillah I did I stood up in front of all the brothers and I ought to be honest
with you I was looking across this sea of beards I was I was mesmerised.
I started to say the words and all the fear went out of my body and out of my heart.
Ashadu an la-ilaha illAllah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan rasool Allah.
And I felt like a shower had been turned on and my whole body had been flushed clean and
it trust me I needed to be flushed clean.
I was standing up there all the brothers started yelling at: Takbeer!
Allahu Akbar!
I thought I'd done something wrong.
So I stood back a bit and I started coming towards me I thought um no I'm pretty sure
I said what he said.
And I started hugging me and kissing me now I had never been hugged and kissed by that
many men in my life.
But I felt the Brotherhood straight away I could see people had teasing their eyes and
subhanAllah I had tears in my eyes.
And I sat there with people and I spoke to people I didn't even know I'd never met before
in my life and they were talking to me as though I'd known them for 30 years.
And it was that day that point in that moment that I realized I had more brothers more sisters
than I could ever have imagined and good brothers and sisters not bad ones I'm talking good
ones.
Subhanallah I sat there may be I don't know I can't really remember how long just talking
to people though asking me questions I went home with such a beautiful feeling.
Because I knew at that stage that I had a clean slate was my chance now to start again
to forget about the drinking to forget about marijuana dope whatever you know anything
else had done in the past and to start doing good things.
I wouldn't say always have done good things I've tried my best sometimes we do astray
but the things that I'd like to sort of go on with here in terms of once I became Muslim
a lot of brothers started to invite me to their house.
And the first such experience that I can explain that was was quite a funny one.
I went to a brother's house you know they wanted to introduce me to as many brothers
as possible and I think they wanted to marry me off to one of their sisters.
I went there and and I went around to salamu alaikum I was pretty proud of myself on you
how to say salamu alaikum. They go: So...
Yeah...
Thanks.
And they're going...
Yeah.
Thanks.
Again I had no idea but I smiled a lot and I think I got away with it.
So I'm sitting there and um they started talking amongst themselves the lounge room they call
it a salon right because you've got the Franco Kotsay chairs everywhere I'm sitting down
again no offense i'm sitting down and they started raising their voices to each other.
So what's going on here?
They started screaming at each other.
I thought: Oh my god!
I'm gonna be on the news.
So I thought it's up to me I'm gonna break this up.
So I got up and I said: Everyone calm down!
My mate said be quite they're just talking.
And it was at that moment that I realized Lebanese people don't mind raising their voice
just to be nice.
Ever since then alhamdulillah you know I've met many brothers many sisters that i'm proud
to say a true brothers and sisters to me.
My family as well we're quite strange towards me when i first became a muslim.
I didn't actually tell them for about the first maybe six months until one day mom caught
me praying.
I said I was playing in the floor.
So what's that alright see and then I told her mum was easy to convince.
She went well and my mom is a beautiful lady she said whatever's whatever it makes you
happy son and that was beautiful but my dad and my sister were very different.
My dad was like what have you got an ak 47 you got any grenades I said no no I'm not
getting them till next week it so my father I think originally thought that I was going
to be very strange towards him being separated from my mother at that stage he had a girlfriend.
He felt that I wouldn't approve it was quite strange as a bit of a role reversal I felt
like his father and he was the son what my dad actually said to me one time which was
quite quite a nice thing.
He said look you know as much as I don't know that I could ever believe what you believe
it's made you a nicer person and as the other brother mentioned obviously the fundamentals
of Islam is that we have to respect their parents now whether our parents are not Muslim
you still have to respect them just as we have to respect our neighbors respect anyone.
And I was actually a lot nicer to my parents I was kind of like you know get out of my
way I'm going out with my maid see you later and my dad's car broke down and he called
me and I could come and pick him up he was wrapped.
And he said you know ever since you become a Muslim you're a lot more reliable.
I said inshallah this is a Muslim trait not a lebanese trait.
My sister also had a bit of difficulty with it and again I think it was centered around
how's he going to think about us what's he going to think of us.
Once I explained to them that I'm not here to push my religion upon you I'm just here
to live my life it's up to me between me and Allah how I'm going to do things.
My sister actually now starts to agree with some things that I talk about she buys halal
meat when we go over alhamdullah my mum only buys halal meat I think we're keeping most
of the butcher's in you know the keeping of a can buy boats now they can buy cars all
of my parents and everyone is going halal meat.
They actually say tasted better but obviously we know that there are reasons as to why we
buy halal meat not just because it tastes better.
Ever since then I've been a lot happier things don't seem to get you down as much when you
realize there's another purpose for you that you're not just here to die you're not just
here to to do nine to five everyday work go home go to sleep watch TV even just getting
up and praying like the fajr and praying each five prayers in the day you feel like you've
accomplished something in Ramadan again you don't do much in Ramadan because you're starving
but at the end of the day when you get to break your fast usually do it with your family
I was always one to sort of love family but I never had much and ever since I became Muslim
I was sitting at tables with 30 people.
I was sitting on the floor with 30 people alhamdulillah the feeling of brotherhood and
community I can't explain it to anyone who's never felt it.
The only way I can say it is it's as though as soon as you shake someone's hand they touch
your hand and say Assalamu Alaikum and you say Wa Alaikum Salam it says that you could
give them the keys to your house or your car you can trust them explicitly and implicitly.
You don't have to worry that they're going to go behind your back and steal your video
recorder or anything like that because you have that full trust you know that there's
that Brotherhood bond.
What I started to find was that I started losing my actual friends that I had before
I was a Muslim and gaining a whole lot of new friends.
I had friends saying to me my old friends that is saying: You are not fun anymore bro
you know you don't I want to go and drink anymore and I'd be saying things like bro
drinking is no fun you know let's let's do this instead but they still wanted to drink
and slowly but surely I lost most of my friends but they weren't really my friends I found
in the end alhamdulillah I gained all these new brothers they're still what I consider
friends.
And inshallah if you haven't felt the feeling that I'm talking about I sincerely hope it
happens to you at one stage in your life.
I encourage you to investigate all the religions and particularly Islam.
I would say that one of my favorite verses I'll end with this verse is a particular verse
that says: Let there be no compulsion in religion.
Because the truth stands clear from error.
Assalamu Alaikum.
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