A teenage girl sent us this concern.
"Don't Look For Me!"
Hello.
(Her tone has gone up)
You're a woman. Why are you disguising your voice?
(Shocked)
(She's right)
(Sick burn by Jimin)
- You can read it with your own voice. / - Yes.
We never thought about that until now.
Jimin.
I'll give you a massage afterwards.
- I'm already all relaxed. / - A massage.
(She tries to read the concern again)
(Fails)
I can't read it.
You're a woman. Just use your own voice.
- Read it comfortably. / - Excuse me.
Hello. I'm a senior in high school
who's about to suffocate to death.
I've seen many people come on this program
due to being constrained by others.
That's nothing compared to my life.
My father is the strictest person in the world.
"I'm home."
"Hey! You!
Dyanodatime! Yunodatie! Dyunowatimitis?"
- "Do you know what time it is?" / - Yes.
"Why didn't you answer your phone?
If you're not going answer it, throw it away!
I'm so mad!" Bang, crash.
If I don't answer my phone,
he throws everything around him.
"What are you wearing? That's immodest."
Rip, rip, rip.
- He rips her clothes? / - Oh my.
(Oh gee)
My dad won't let me do anything.
Does he even love me?
Please get me out of this jail.
Was your father strict, Jimin?
Yes, he was strict.
A boy called one time.
My dad gathered all three of us.
He asked questions until we said who it was.
I can understand that.
He's trying to lead her to the right path,
but has gone a little overboard.
What if you have a daughter?
Then I don't think I could work.
I thought the same thing.
I wouldn't be able to leave her side.
Chanwoo, you have a daughter.
Are you worried?
She's doing fine.
(Such a cool dad)
- Please come on out. / - Please come on out.
(Who's being suffocated to death by her dad?)
(Jo Sumi)
Are you all right?
(She walks backward in shock)
Thank you.
Since when has he been so obsessed?
Was there an incident?
I think it's because I'm his only daughter.
Then I can understand.
I think it was ever since I was in kindergarten.
I was playing at a playground near my school.
He called the school, but I wasn't there.
He called home, but I wasn't there either.
He must've been shocked.
So he reported me missing right away.
Immediately?
Yes.
I think it started then.
You think.
I was on my way home while talking on the phone.
So I never got his call.
When I got home
he suddenly yelled, "Hey!"
I asked, "What?"
"Why didn't you answer your phone?"
I looked and saw that he called me 40-50 times.
- Really? / - Yes.
It's terrifying just to think of that incident.
What time did you get home?
It was 7:05 p.m.
- After 7? / - Yes.
One day, I was going to an amusement park.
I wanted to wear a skirt.
So I did and was about to go out.
He suddenly threw the remote control
and told me to change into pants.
So I changed into pants.
He ripped up the skirt in front of me.
I don't think he'd be worried for no reason.
There must be a reason why he's doing this.
Why would he get so mad like that?
Did you ever make him worried?
I never came home late and
I never wore short skirts.
I recently barely got permission to go on
an overnight trip to Busan with friends.
That must've been nice. He allowed it?
Yes.
But it doesn't feel like I went on a trip.
He called me every 20 minutes.
Every 20 minutes?
He asked me where I am and what I'm doing.
He asked me for photos as proof.
He told me to go to the hotel after about an hour.
It doesn't feel like I went on a trip.
Let's meet your father first.
Where are you sitting?
Hello.
Hello.
She wouldn't be here if it wasn't serious.
Do you understand her concern?
If you just listen to her talk,
I sound like a terrible father.
You're not that terrible, right?
I'm not a mental patient.
I have a daughter and the world is dangerous.
If I don't know where she is, I get worried.
Sure.
Can you understand that it's a concern?
You're going overboard though.
It'd be a concern if you can't reach her.
But it's not like that.
It seems to us that you're checking up on her
too often and are too obsessed.
People have their own freedom.
A person would be unhappy if they're not free.
You call her 40-50 times if you can't reach her.
It's because you're worried, right?
Right.
I'd be relieved if she even texts me.
But she doesn't call or text even after 20 minutes.
I don't know where she is,
so I get worried.
So I feel better if I call until she answers.
I must call 30-40 times until she answers.
But it wasn't that late.
It wasn't like it was after 10 p.m.
It was only 6 or 7 p.m.
She goes to school,
but she doesn't get good grades.
(Are you really my dad?)
We didn't really need to know that.
We're not an educational program.
Are you seeking revenge on her?
(I'm seeking revenge)
Only a few enjoy studying.
She doesn't take additional classes after school.
She doesn't have anything special to do.
If she tells me where she is going after school
I let her.
But she just disappears.
She has about an hour or two after school
until she comes home.
I work, so I can't go see her.
Her mom works, too.
So it gets frustrating.
Why do you think your daughter is like that?
You keep asking her where she is and
what she is doing and for photos.
She doesn't feel like she's having fun.
That's why she doesn't call you
or answer your calls.
When I look at my friends, those with strict parents
usually end up going down the wrong path.
They make up lies to avoid going home.
Those who are free to do whatever they want
go home or call home on their own.
Right.
You're her friend.
Do you understand her concern?
Yes. We went out to Hangang one day.
She got a call.
I didn't know who it was, but she was yelling.
"We just got here 10 minutes ago.
Why do you keep calling me?"
After about 30-40 minutes, we went to karaoke.
She got another call about 10 minutes later.
She told us her dad called and she had to go home.
That was before we became good friends.
I thought she was making an excuse to go home
because she didn't like me.
So things got awkward between us.
This happens 9 out of 10 times we're together.
It doesn't feel like she's having fun.
She can't get along with her friends
so I think that's why she's having a hard time.
She's grown up now.
If you continue to bombard her with calls,
other friends would not want to hang out
with her because of the inconvenience.
They would feel like bad friends.
She is concerned that what you're doing
would drive her friends away.
School doesn't end at 9 or 10 p.m.
They get out around 5 p.m.
No later than 6 p.m.
They can hang out at school
and hang out a bit around 6 p.m.
If the friends say,
"I don't want to hang out with you because
you have to go home at 6 o'clock,"
then she shouldn't be friends with them.
He is right.
They are all the same.
What you're saying...
Every parent would say that.
You understand how he feels, right?
I know that he's worried about me.
It would be nice if he can tell me softly.
But he yells and throws things.
He once broke our television.
(He even broke their TV)
He once broke a dining chair, too.
He doesn't hit me, but...
That's even scarier.
I was mentally scared.
One time when I was in elementary school,
I was working on a workbook.
When I opened it up,
I didn't know how to solve the problems.
So I asked my dad to teach me.
That's how you learn.
He smashed his fist onto the dining table,
sighed and then
explained it to me while cussing.
He even brought a mop and smashed it down
and started to break and throw things.
He didn't hit you.
It's better to just hit her.
I'd rather be beaten.
(I'm not like that)
I got scared, so I wanted to cry.
He doesn't like to see me be vulnerable.
Men can't stand women cry.
He got even more mad so I couldn't cry.
It's a habit to hold back my tears now.
She's about to burst with sorrow,
but she's holding everything in.
Yes, you're right.
When you're about to cry, does he go,
"Hey! Don't cry."
Well he says it while throwing things around.
- Don't cry! / - Why do you get so angry at her?
I'm blood type AB.
So am I.
I'm Sungmo-type.
I'm sorry.
Stop.
I know that I have a temper. I do.
She does, too.
(What?)
She takes after me.
"Why? Why did you get that wrong?"
Throwing things and breaking them
is just wrong, sir.
I throw things because
there has to be some action when I get mad.
(Action...)
- Why do you think that? / - I need action.
You think all dads need actions?
You need little bit of action to make it look livelier.
(Is he a film director?)
- It looks better. / - Are you shooting a film?
Also, I break things after considering everything.
I don't go crazy and break televisions.
That would cost too much money.
A mop is the cheapest thing I could break.
(Now he's bluntly speaking casually)
My daughter doesn't get scared easily either.
She doesn't hold anger for long.
She forgets it 20 minutes later.
You've been doing things your way.
Sure. I'm her parent.
But she was scared growing up in that environment.
Let's meet her mother now.
Do you understand your daughter's concern?
Yes, I do.
We currently live with my mother-in-law.
I had a fight with her on a holiday
and we talked of divorcing each other.
I was crying in my room and
she came over with a suitcase.
She told me,
"This is great. You and I can move out.
Dad can live with grandma."
I realized how concerned she was.
Did you really say that?
Yes. When mom talked about divorcing him,
I packed my bags.
I had my hopes up.
I thought we were really leaving.
But the next day she told me that
she isn't leaving.
That's what happened.
Has your husband always had a temper?
We got married after dating for 11 months only.
Less than a year.
I didn't know what he was like.
Then I met his friends after we got married.
They asked, "How did you decide to marry him?"
So I asked, "Why?"
They said, "Can you handle his temper?"
We've been married for 20 years now.
They said, "Are you still married to him?"
(We respect you for your patience)
(I can't live with him anymore)
My husband is usually a gentleman.
But when things don't go his way,
- his blood pressure... / - Shoots up?
Yes. It shoots up fast.
The biggest problem is when
- he drives. / - When he drives.
When there's a traffic jam
his blood pressure goes from 0 to 100.
Then we must hold on to something.
The car turns into a rollercoaster.
He swerves in and out of different lanes.
(Ha)
What is he like when you two fight?
After we got married
we had a fight 5 years into our marriage.
Everybody fights then.
I didn't have a religion before then.
Then I started going to church
and I talked to him about going there.
He then...
Came home with a shaved head.
Why?
Then he changed the ringtone of his phone
to the sound of the Buddhist moktak.
How immature.
(I'll win with the belief in Buddhism)
It was only for a moment.
That's absurd.
I really couldn't understand him.
How could he do that?
(No one can escape him)
What upset you the most in your life?
What upset me the most is...
They both work.
They always came home after 10 p.m.
So I was raised by my grandma.
My dad who's always telling me to come home
was never home. Mom wasn't home.
And grandma couldn't really be my friend.
So...
You must've been quite lonely.
You understand it now,
but you can't help but cry when you think back?
Sure. Of course you missed them back then.
Right.
They weren't there when you needed them.
Bring back memories and get rid of them today.
It's okay. You can cry.
You overcame that loneliness.
They were never home.
They always left $20 for me at home.
I didn't need their money.
I wanted to go out and have fun with them.
They tell me to come home, but they're not there.
So I asked them one time.
"Did you pawn me off to grandma?"
He never answered and just got mad
and smashed and threw things again.
I think that's what upset me the most.
She lacked love from both mom and dad.
You only try to control her without loving her.
I had to work at night, too, at the time.
You were working hard.
There are many double-income families.
I wouldn't have done it if she couldn't bear it.
I thought she would understand
after enough time passed by and she grew up.
I think the biggest problem isn't
the fact that you are not there.
It's the way you scold her.
You said you never hit your daughter.
That's absurd because you terrified her
by throwing and breaking things.
You may not have hit her directly,
but this is far worse.
She was so scared to see you do that,
but as she grew up, she probably saw herself
being scared and the satisfaction on dad's face.
She hated that and that's why she pretended
to be okay on the outside despite trembling inside.
Throwing and smashing things to scold is very wrong.
Regardless of you being here today,
you should never ever do that again.
I've lived a long life now.
I'm older than you are.
- A lot. / - A lot.
(Great timing)
The power to withstand this tough world...
Children who were loved the most
have that power.
(Getting emotional)
I still feel lost.
My dad never asked, "You know how I feel?"
You think because you gave birth to
your children, they automatically know
that you love them? No.
You have to express that love. And let them know.
If dad can't do it, mom has to.
"Dad loves you. I love you, too."
My father and mother never did that for me.
They never did.
I'm 50 years old now.
That's why my two sisters and I have this strong bond.
Because we have to endure this tough world.
We learn to love each other
so that we can share that with others.
Education isn't important.
You must give love to your children.
That's the only way those children have
the power to survive in this world.
What's the point of earning money?
She doesn't feel like you love her.
Who cares if mom loves her?
She won't translate dad's love to her.
She doesn't feel that love.
I tell you this because I can see how she feels.
I've been feeling lost for 50 years because of it.
This is all I'll say.
You must change, sir.
(After a long, heavy silence...)
Since my kid is crying,
I want to cry, too.
I never knew she felt this way.
She never opened up to me before.
I know everything I say may sound like an excuse.
If she really felt that way, it is my fault.
I don't know how to say this.
Sure. It breaks your heart.
You raised her for 19 years and you just found out that
she's having a hard time because of you.
I know it's hard to accept it.
But you must change your ways.
You have many more years to spend with her.
Try to change your ways.
She's reaching out to you one last time.
I hope you realized that today.
Sure. It's not too late.
Let's start with Killagramz.
I know you love her, but the way you did it was wrong.
So I think it's a concern.
I think it's a concern, too.
I think the way you disciplined her is wrong
and I want you to change that.
I think it's a concern.
I think it's a concern, too.
I think she'd feel uneasy every day.
"What will today be like?
Will dad yell or get mad?"
I'm afraid that she keeps distancing herself
from her dad because of
that uneasiness. I feel bad for you both.
Tell your dad what you want from him.
Please trust me when I tell you things.
Please call me 5 times or less a day.
I'll be 20 next year. I'll be an adult.
So don't worry too much about me.
I love you.
Bring out the buttons.
(We root for your will to patch things up)
Press the button if you can relate to her.
(What does the audience think?)
5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
Please stop.
Please say a word to your daughter.
Sumi.
You know I really love you, right?
Now that you're an adult
talk to me if you're upset about anything.
I want to live happily with you
because I love you very much.
Please show us the result.
The last digit is a 1.
The first concern got 147 votes.
If they got 151 votes, they would be no. 1.
How many votes did they get?
(What's the result?)
141!
(They got 141 votes)
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