Do fake people drive you nuts ever had someone lie to you just to protect their
own butts do you know someone who thinks they know everything about everything
and they're sure to let you know about it do you know a show-off I'm gonna show
you why they do what they do and how to fix it whoo let's talk about it Barry
Smith here pastor author husband and dad and someone who's always trying to prove
himself I mean think about that we've all done it and we know people who have
done it as well little kids trying to get their parents
approval and dad look at this drawing do you like it
is it good never young man just wants his dad's approval and to know that he's
good enough you ever see the show toddlers and
tiaras ah how if you haven't don't many of these kids are just trying to get
their mom's approval they recently released a movie called I can only
imagine which is all about the lead singer from Christian band Mercy Me Bart
Miller a big part of the show was him trying to win the approval of his
incredibly harsh dad Bart played football and really excelled
at it but he hated it he only did it to get his dad's approval
I'd imagine that more than a handful of cheerleaders are trying to gain the
approval of parents or peers or some of the cute boys that they're cheering for
not all cheerleaders a bit son we've even seen when someone says something
hurtful but then they get called out on it and the first thing they say is no I
was just saying and then they go on to justify whatever it was they said the
real answer is yes you said something hurtful own it stop trying to look
better than you are that's an effort to not be disapproved but it's never enough
if we don't get to the place where we finally know that we're enough we're
gonna go to our graves trying to prove that we're good enough the struggle is
real folks this is part four of a four-part series on the attributes of
God we've learned that God is great glorious good and today this is your
message in a tweet if you don't get anything else out of this series or out
of this message just get this one because this statement is life-changing
God is gracious so I don't have to prove myself
God is gracious so I don't have to prove myself this statement will free you up
today I'll tell you how it freed me up you see people are gonna think whatever
they're gonna think about me no matter what I say or do good or bad it's all
over the map no matter how hard I try to get their approval in California I
started a church that was growing and we had probably about 300 people at the
time and I was doing my best to do it all I've got a degree in finance but
that has nothing to do with the counting that's a whole nother animal so we set
up our budget for that next year knowing that we're going to be about $20,000
short for the year nothing new we had more than enough in savings so I added a
line item on the budget that said $20,000 from savings for everybody to
see baby balanced budget but there was an
attender who said I was trying to mislead the congregation hiding that
$20,000 and I was like what no way seriously that really hurt me cuz I
would never try to hurt or mislead or hide something from the congregation in
fact it was exactly the opposite in this case I put it down there and black and
white for them to see no matter how much that went against generally accepted
accounting principles but this guy's spread it all over the place so I called
a Bible College professor of mine and he said Barry are you a liar no are you
trying to mislead the congregation no are you a man of integrity then who
cares he said stop trying to prove yourself Barry right it's still hurt but
I'm good with God and I'm good with those who know me so I'm good God is
gracious so I don't have to prove myself with him this is a revolutionary concept
and one that many of you need to hear today I embrace this lie in junior high
and high school everybody thought I was a good kid that teachers liked me
friend's parents coaches everybody thought it was good it was just my image
though it was me trying to prove myself that I was a good kid and I justified a
lot of my thinking I've got that bad I'm not as bad as so-and-so I use that on my
wife sometimes hey honey you're lucky to have me I'm
not as bad as so-and-so he's a lousy husband what kind of thinking is that
it's me trying to rationalize and diminish my shortcomings my sins my bad
behavior and we've been doing it for years the sexual revolution and
consenting adults oh it's all good my unalienable right to pursue happiness
as long as I'm not hurting anybody just follow my heart have it my way
don't let anybody tell me what to do something new all that started back in
the Garden of Eden in Genesis chapter 3 God tells Adam and Eve don't eat the
fruit in the middle of the garden and Satan goes to God really say that and he
was like yeah he said don't you touch it or we're gonna die and see and say
you're not gonna die and that's when Adam and Eve chose to believe a serpent
instead of choosing to trust in what God said don't eat because the rule just
didn't make sense to them they didn't want to follow it and Adam and Eve just
trusted their own abilities to manage good and evil in their lives and that's
where sin came from it was a lie about God he ain't gonna kill you Satan said
you know it's true you just believe in yourself you just go with your heart
you're equipped to manage the good and evil in your life and that's when the
fall of man happened right there all because of a lot or because they didn't
believe a truth about God it's a heart issue because it's often
our actions coming from our heart that don't match our beliefs and come from
our head that gap is unbelief and as believers the goal is to close the gap
between our heads and our hearts that's a churchy word called
sanctification where what we know to be true in our head about God is actually
lived out in our lives from our hearts and that's when we become effective
followers of Christ but we all fall short everybody is a sinner Romans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God but people don't like
that term sinner we prefer to say that we're mistaken right we're not as bad as
so and so we try to minimize our sin and the mistakes to prove that we're okay
that we're acceptable we're not that bad you know I'm right here and here's six
ways that people men my sin number one defending these folks
find it hard to receive feedback about their weakness
constructive criticism isn't constructive at all it's an attack they
explain things away and justify their decisions so others hesitate to approach
them so there's rarely an honest conversation about anything difficult
going on in their lives others been in my sin by faking this was me keeping up
appearances and the image their actions are driven by what others think of them
so they wear masks to pretend that there's someone else they seldom reflect
because reality always squashes their image so most people really don't know
that and they may not even know themselves some resort to hiding these
are people that conceal as much as they can about their life especially the bad
stuff which is different than faking because faking is about impressing
hiding is more about shame they don't feel others will accept the real them a
fourth way that people minimize sin is proven these are folks that minimize
their sin by showing others that they're not that bad
that was me they try to prove that their good outweighs their bad which results
in a never-ending cycle of performance that leads to nowhere
the fifth is blaming these folks have a tough time owning their own conflict or
their own sin they're quick to blame others for their issues and that's often
a pride thing or the fear of rejection that drives their thinking they don't
own it or take responsibility for and they say hey it's not my fault and the
last way the people minimize their sin is downplaying they give very little
weight to their sin they justified it's normal hey nobody's perfect they compare
their sin to others which makes this end more normal but sin was never supposed
to be normal and so that results in these issues and conflicts not getting
the attention that they deserve and problems boil up and eventually explode
that's six ways that people minimize sinn here's what we know for certain
about sin when we minimize it we feel it's really not that bad so therefore we
don't need a savior and we buy into the same lie that Adam and Eve bought into
and that's that we trusted our own abilities to manage good and evil in our
lives and then we're truly to see you see unless we see God as the most
offended party by our sin will never hate our sin
that's why Jesus took our punishment on the cross to save us from our sin to
bring us to repentance which is more than I'm sorry it's I'm sorry I didn't
believe this truth about you God or I'm sorry that I believed a lie about you
that you're gracious so I don't have to prove myself because rest assured sin
offends God and every one of us have sinned and that separates us from God
which is an enormous reason why we celebrate Easter Jesus remedied our
separation from God by his blood and we're forgiven it's all because of the
person and work of Jesus Christ God is gracious so we don't need to prove
ourselves which brings us to your memory verse 4 this week Ephesians 2 verses 8
and 9 for it is by grace you have been saved through faith and this not from
yourselves it is the gift of God not by works so that no one can boast grace the
gospel the good news is the opposite of religion see religions on one side and
graces on the other behavior is religion belief or trust is grace fear and guilt
is religion versus love and conviction which is faith grace human effort versus
the Holy Spirit what we do versus what he's done but Christians continue to
believe a lie and they keep trying to prove themselves to God and prove
themselves to others and even themselves that's all about the flesh that's look
at me I'm awesome I'm capable deserving look what I did my strength my power my
worth I'm valuable I'm desirable I'm pretty I'm special we don't want to be
dependent on God for who we are we want to have things under our own control but
God is great so I don't need to be in control we already learned that I have
no control yeah what I know is that my sin grieves
God but there's no coldness and distance from God because of God's grace his
graciousness we don't need to prove ourselves anymore and we can't redeem
ourselves Easter is all about God's graciousness because Jesus forgives sins
he resurrected from the dead to prove he was who he said he was the Christ child
the promised Messiah and we may understand that in our head but we have
to live that out in our hearts by our actions are we still living like we have
something to prove where we embrace the unbelief in our lives the distance
between our heads and our hearts like our hard work should have some merit to
our account a husband cleans the house and then expects a little something
something from his wife when she gets home
cleaning the house without being asked or a kid does his chores or homework
without being reminded and they say hey I deserve a prize I deserve a and then
fill in the blank a Christian reads their Bible or tithe or does a good deed
or gets baptized or says no to something sinful okay God now I did this for you
you owe me a blessing really let's get real for a second what's really owed to
us because of our sin is punishment and death and eternal separation from God we
did the crime we should do the time but instead what we get is grace the
unmerited love and favor from God found in the person and work of Jesus Christ
at the cross and the resurrection we can't earn it
we're not self-made men or self-made women we're we're we've proven ourselves
and now God is obligated to bless us that's like saying God you're not
gracious and so we're living out a lie when we say that I believe that Jesus is
the Christ the Son of the Living God and I accept him as my Lord and Savior the
boss of my life then we replace pride and guilt with confidence and humility
confidence in Christ that he is the man despite our failures and humility
because we always these God's grace because of our ongoing failures you
don't need to prove yourself anymore folks thanks to Jesus and
Easter message we no longer need to say I shouldn't do that that's legalism
instead we can say I don't need to do that
that's gospel that's grace it's a big difference we're not defined by what we
do but by the work of Jesus Christ that he did on our behalf so accept that
grace and forgiveness do that that's enough we don't need to prove ourselves
anymore to God or to anyone else for that matter because there's nothing that
you can do to earn or lose your grace there's nothing left to prove yeah that
doesn't mean that God wants us to stop working hard or pursuing excellence not
at all but don't get caught up in focusing on behavior and emotions to try
to prove yourself we're with our image and what others think about us that
makes us a hamster in a wheel going nowhere it's time to stop believing that
lie about God he's gracious so we don't need to prove ourselves anymore so stop
it stop believing the lie and start believing the truth that God's grace is
enough so here's what I want you to do I want you to say this at least 20 times a
day for the next week I'm serious God is all I need say that out loud
right now God is all I need make it personal and say you are all I need you
are all I need you say that phrase 20 times every day for the next week and
right now post it in the comments below you are all I mean you are all I D post
that in the comments below right now I did that this morning before shooting
this video it's amazing I pointed up every time I did it I counted to 20 and
I pointed up and you know you are all I need you are all I need you are all I
need and I kept counting as I did it and I finally got to 20 and and I had my
hands lifted up in the air and it was just sitting there my offices worshiping
God it was a nice moment I dare you to try out and if you've never given your
life to Jesus Christ this is the gracious God that we follow a God who
died and rose for you who conquered sin and conquered death and conquered the
enemy and if you'd like to consider giving your life to Jesus we would be
honored to walk through that decision with you
just reach out to us on a comment or email or any other way and we will get
back to you immediately until next time happy Easter you choose would like to
thank soma school in Tacoma Washington for the concept and outline of this
series you can find out more about soma at we are soma calm
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