Today I wanted to talk about Crystalis, but before I start my usual review I wanted to
share a personal story about how I came to discover my favorite action RPG for the NES.
It was the summer between 4th and 5th grade, my family had recently moved to a new house
just before the end of the school year and I hadn't made any real friends yet.
One day I was outside wandering around aimlessly and unattended like children often do when
I met another girl about a year or two younger than myself.
I wish I could say that I remember her name, but nope.
I don't.
At that moment we were fast friends and she invited me to play at her house- the top portion
of an old Florida cracker home now converted into a split story duplex.
The exterior of the house was in sad disrepair and the inside sparsely furnished.
In the bedroom the girl's little brother was playing NES and of course, being the huge
dork that I am I was immediately drawn to the lone cartridge sitting on the dresser.
The cover depicted a warrior dude battling some freaky eyeball monster so of course I
scooped it up and blurted out something to the effect of: "Oh my god is this an RPG?!"
and my new friend kind of looked at me funny and it was pretty clear she had no idea what
I was talking about.
So we kicked her brother off his game and she let me try it out.
I was enthralled, my little purple hero was running around a field and power shotting
goofy looking alien things with his magical laser sword.
My new friend was less than enthusiastic however and not so patiently suggested we do anything
else.
But I wasn't having it.
I was getting my RPG geek on right then and there.
Finally in a desperate effort to shut me up about how amazing my new discovery was and
to get me off her game system she told me I could have the stupid cartridge and go home.
So I did.
And spent the rest of the summer beating the best NES RPG in existence.
And my new friend?
I uh.
Never saw her again.
So to you nameless 9 year girl, I thank you and umm… apologize for being such an awkward
gaming nerd?
I've never played Crystalis after that summer, but harbored many fond memories of my initial
encounter.
I'd always kind of thought of it as a 16bit adventure on an 8bit machine.
So at the not so gently urging of an enthused viewer I thought: "yeah…
I'd like to try that again."
I've spent the last week seeing how well my memories held up.
And they did.
Crystalis is every bit the fantastic odyssey that I remembered and now I want to share
that with you: At this point in the video I've already
established that Crystalis is an action RPG for the Nintendo Entertainment system, and
despite that glowey sword with the long range pimp slap it is not a Zelda clone.
Sorry pedantic nerds, but if I can't casually refer to Zelda as an RPG then you can't
claim my experience based action RPGs as your own.
Thems the rules.
Or so I've head.
One of the things that I really love about Crystalis is that it feels like the adventure
takes place in its own unique universe.
The story goes that atomic warfare has destroyed civilization as we know it and essentially
erased 1000s of years of technological advancement.
Through rigorous training magic is now a thing, and mutants roam the landscape- mostly being
vicious mutant jerkwads.
Animals have attained sentience, and a society of recluse mutant dwarves live in a toxic
jungle.
You, a cryogenically thawed time traveler, has arrived from the past to kick butt and
forget names.
Throughout your adventure you're just as likely to battle hideous eyeball spiders as
you are upright walking pigmen, mechanoid robots, and tiger people.
Crystalis is just different, and I love that.
But it wouldn't matter how contained the world was if it weren't fun, but luckily
Crystalis has that covered as well.
Combat is really fluid, you'll easily slip between enemies and -with enough skill- dispatch
your foes in a burst of furious stabbings but if you're having a hard time getting
the timing down you can just as easily rely on the satisfying oomph of the (much slower
paced) power shots and magical attacks.
Whatever your play style, the game mechanics are just fun to use.
Especially that ultimate lighting attack and the end game level flight spell.
Who needs not-so-hidden bridges when you can hop-scotch your way through the dungeon?
My god I love being an over powered badass.
And, again, because it's definitely not a Zelda clone, there aren't any puzzles
to solve but the game does have a ton of important items to find and nearly ever spell you unlock
doubles as both a story device and a useful battle ability.
For example, you'll learn the spell paralyze, which you can use to stun monsters and NPCs.
Besides being sort of amusing, why would you want to run around putting villagers to sleep?
Well at some point in the adventure you might need to, I dunno… track down a special someone
who won't stay put otherwise?
A lot of RPGs fall into the trap of padding the storyline with busy work fetch quests
(I'm looking at you Lufia) and while Crystalis is no exception it instead turns the fetch
into an attraction by ensuring that each is a unique experience.
You never just go and get the bauble, you'll have to have a sex change or ride a dolphin
or-or well you get the idea.
Then there's the boss encounters, which change up the not-zelda gameplay for more
of a dodge and deflect shooter experience.
They're a welcome change of pace, and somewhat of a challenge.
While dying is a huge pain in the ass when you have to respelunk a convoluted and twisty
maze, at least the game does you the courtesy of letting you continue directly from the
dungeon entrance -which o-kay- granted, is a little Zelda-like.
And for that added bit of strategy you'll find that most enemies in the game (including
bosses) have a specific weapon immunity; don't expect to unlock a new sword and use it.
Instead the game will force you to swap around your arsenal, sometimes as often as every
other foe vanquished.
I suppose some players may be turned off by this "feature" but by the time you reach
the second town pulling up the menu and adjusting your gear really becomes second nature.
I only wish SNK had consistently matched the monster's sprite color to its elemental
type; having red baddies deflect my water attacks just feels wrong.
I'm not saying that Crystalis is universally the best RPG for the NES, but you're going
to have a heck of a time trying to convince me otherwise.
With its large expressive character sprites, colorfully varied dungeon themes, and fluid
combat mechanics, Crystalis was truly an adventure ahead of its time.
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