Hello, I'm Brian Tracy and welcome to the science of self-confidence
For more than 25 years I've studied successful men and women looking for the characteristics and qualities
They have in common that have enabled them to achieve so much more than the average person
I've read thousands of books and articles and research studies
And I've come to the conclusion that the foundation quality of success in every walk of life is self-confidence
every man or woman who has ever accomplished anything out of the ordinary has turned out to have greater self-confidence than the ordinary person and
When you develop yourself to the point where your belief in yourself is so strong
That you know that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to your future will be
unlimited a
woman who would listen to one of my programs wrote to me recently and
Told me that one line in that program had changed her whole outlook on life
It was simply a question, which asked what one great thing? Would you dare to dream? If you knew you could not fail?
When she began asking herself that question over and over her entire review of what was possible for her in life expanded dramatically
She saw clearly what she really wanted to be and have and do and she simultaneously
Realized that it was only fear and doubt in her own abilities. That was holding her back
What would you do differently if you were absolutely assured of success in any undertaking?
What if some great force could endow you with the power to achieve any goal that you set for yourself?
Or to put it another way
What if you were completely?
Unafraid of anyone or anything and you felt completely free to act in any area in your own best interest
The fact is that if you develop the quality of unshakable
Self-confidence your whole world would be different
with greater confidence in yourself and your abilities
You would set bigger goals and make bigger plans and commit yourself to achieving objectives that today. He only dream about
You would take whatever steps were necessary to earn more money and enjoy a higher standard of living
you would set your sights on a bigger house a better car more beautiful clothes and
Nicer vacations at all kind of things for your family and for those close to you
You would do what you really want to do, and you'd refuse to conform to the wishes or opinions of anyone else you
Define your life in your own terms and live every day consistent with exactly what it is you want and no one else?
With greater self-confidence, you'd be different in every part of your work life and career
You might decide to ask for a promotion or a raise or even change to another job or or another company or even another industry
If you're in sales you would see more people and make better and more forceful
Presentations and ask for more orders and close more business if you're in management you would organize and reorganize your human and material resources
To create a work environment, that suited you perfectly rather than making endless
compromises in an attempt to please a variety of different people with
Greater self confidence. You'd be bolder and more imaginative
You'd be more creative and willing to experiment with new and different ideas and ways of doing things
You'd be willing to consider unusual and risky alternatives and be willing to commit yourself wholeheartedly to projects that are today
Sitting only on the back burner of your mind
if you had unlimited
Self-confidence, you'd be more powerful and persuasive with other people you'd be more popular and likeable and welcome wherever you go you
Would speak up and speak out clearly in your interactions with others, and you'd be admired and respected and sought-after by everyone who knew you
Recognition and responsibilities would flow to you because if people's believe in your ability to do whatever it took to get the job done
Positions of prestige and status would open up for you and people would bring you opportunities and possibilities that you cannot now even imagine
With greater self-confidence, you could deal more effectively with the inevitable problems and difficulties that arise in day to day life
You'd think continually in terms of solutions?
And how you could turn any situation to your best advantage?
You would laugh at adversities that would dishearten most people and you'd be able to pluck success out of the jaws of
Failure you would turn lemons into lemonade you would feel invincible and unconquered ball with higher levels of self-confidence
You'd be far more effective dealing with difficult people in situations
You'd be a far better negotiator
And you'd be able to ask for and get better prices better terms better conditions and everything that you bought and sold
with greater self confidence with an unshakable belief in yourself
Nothing would be impossible for you more than anything else you would feel terrific about yourself
You would feel truly happy about every part of your life
Knowing deep down inside that
You have the ability to take whatever steps and make whatever changes are necessary to assure that your life is exactly the way you
Want it?
you'd experience a tremendous sense of control which is the fundamental condition for happiness well-being and
Maximum performance you would feel like the master of your fate and the captain of your soul
You'd feel completely self determined and in charge of your life
You'd experience a feeling of strength and power and purpose and a positive mental attitude towards yourself
And and everyone in your life, and everything you do with unshakable
self-confidence you would unquestionably be an exceptional human being
Human beings tend to be plagued with doubts about their own abilities and fears about every imaginable thing
Especially the unknown the psychologist Abraham Maslow said the story of the human race is the story of men and women
selling themselves short
The great majority of people tend to compare themselves
unfavorably with others they dwell on their own weaknesses and limitations
And they eventually settle for far less than they're really capable of instead of enjoying high levels of self-esteem
Self-respect and personal pride the average person just gets by from day to day
If self confidence and the self esteem that goes with it is so desirable
Why is it that so few people have enough self-confidence to live the lives that are possible for them?
Perhaps the most wonderful thing about self-confidence is
that it is a mental quality that can be learned and which has been learned starting from early childhood and
Because it's learn about self confidence can be developed and built up
Systematically and progressively over time by following the instructions in this program
Everyone has a certain amount of self confidence more and less in different areas and by working from that base
It's possible for you to build yourself up to the point where you are completely confident in any area. That's important to you
Perhaps the most important of all the laws that govern our lives was put forth by Socrates more than 2,000 years ago
He called it the law of causality we call it the law of cause and effect
and it's often referred to as the iron law of human destiny the
Law of cause and effect can imprison us in a Cell of our own making or it can
Liberate us by giving us complete freedom to live
Consistent with the law in anything we do
The law of cause and effect which is both a physical and a mental law says that for every effect in our lives
there is a specific cause if
there's an effect in our lives that we want more of we can trace it back to the cause and
By repeating the cause enjoy more of the effects
If we're in sales or business and we have successes we trace back those successes to the exact things that we did and by
Repeating those things we can get the same effects over again
This law also says is there's an effect in our lives that we don't want whether it be
Overweight or not enough money or problems of people or negative business conditions. We can trace that effect back to the causes and by
Removing or changing the causes we can achieve different effects or different results
Now this law of cause and effect is so simple and so obvious that no one questions it
We live in a world and in a universe governed by law not by chance
everything happens for a reason
Neither success nor failure is an accident
They have specific causes and when we repeat the causes we get the same effects no matter who we are
This is just the way the world works
yet, the world is full of people who are not happy with their results and yet they continue to do the same things think the
Same thoughts say the same things and take the same actions every day
And they are amazed that they continue to get the same negative effects
the law of cause and effect applies to our levels of
self-confidence all around us and throughout human history there are and have been men and women with exceptionally high levels of
self-confidence who have gone on to achieve extraordinary things in
Studying the lives and stories of these people we find that some of them started out with high levels of self-confidence
Which they learned from their parents in early childhood but most of them started off the same way we all start off
with deep down feelings of inferiority and inadequacy
because of destructive criticism and lack of love and other mistakes that parents make with us in early childhood we grow up with
Diminished feelings of self-esteem low self-confidence and a feeling that we're just simply not good enough in comparison with others
with low self confidence many people today work extremely hard on the outside to achieve success and
when they do deep down inside they feel like
Imposters this so called fear of success is really a feeling of unworthiness
That we can't seem to get rid of no matter how much we achieve on the outside
What people really want more than anything else is just to feel really good about them
We want to be happy and positive and have a sense of well-being
Above all what we really want is peace of mind
And you can only enjoy peace of mind when you feel
confident in your ability to deal effectively with the requirements of life with your family and your friends and your work and your
Customers and your social activities them and all the other things that you're involved in
The law of cause and effect tells us that if we want to enjoy the effect of high self confidence
we need only engage in the causes of high self confidence if
We can find out what it is that other highly self-confident men and women say and do and do the same things
We will eventually get the same results we will eventually feel the same way. We will eventually become
unstoppable
in psychology
there's a principle or a law of becoming that simply says that each person is in a continual process of becoming or
evolving and growing in the direction of his or her dominant thoughts
Your body is also in a state of becoming at a normal rate of cell death and replenishment
you end up with a brand new body every seven years and
While your physical evolution in becoming is affected by the food that you put into your body
Your mental evolution and becoming is largely determined by the thought that you put into your mind
Anything that you think about long enough and hard enough eventually becomes a part of your mental processes
Exerting its force on your attitudes and on your behavior
The law of concentration says that anything you dwell upon grows in your reality?
The more you dwell on the person you would like to be with the qualities you would like to have
The more these thoughts are implanted deeply into your subconscious mind and become part of your ongoing evolution in
This sense you are a self-made man or woman
You are where you are and what you are because of the thoughts that you have allowed to preoccupy your mind
Whatever you've dealt upon over the months and years you have become and you are right now today
Not only have you made yourself into what you are, but you are continuing with the job of construction with every thought you think
Since this is an unavoidable fact of life the smartest thing that a person can do is to
Persistently think the thoughts that are consistent with the kind of person he or she would like to be
One of the most profound discoveries in all of human history is that thought is creative
Thoughts held in mind
produce after their kind
like baguettes like
Your thoughts become your realities do you do become what you think about most of the time?
You cannot Harbor one kind of thought and experience a different kind of existence?
the development of unshakable
self-confidence therefore begins with you taking full
complete systematic and purposeful control of the contents of your conscious mind
Disciplining yourself to think consistently of only the things that you desire and to keep your mind off of the things that you fear
All of life is from the inside out the law of Correspondence considered one of the most important of all the mental laws
Simply says that your outer world will be a mirror image reflection of your inner world
What you see on the outside is merely a reflection of what is going on on the inside?
The fact is that with almost no exceptions
Everything that a person experiences in their outer life
Corresponds exactly to something that's going on in their inner life
True happiness and success comes from living your life in harmony with the laws that govern your being
Even though these laws are invisible they're like the law of gravity also invisible, but to be violated only at your peril
Happy people are simply those who obey the laws and follow the laws and live their lives
consistent with the laws
If we want to have self-confidence on the outside we must have complete integrity on the inside
The real foundation of self-confidence is living your life
Consistent with your innermost values and principles while thinking and acting in harmony with your highest aspirations
men and women with the most rock-solid self-confidence are
Inevitably those who are absolutely clear about what it is. They believe to be right and good and worthwhile, and they live their lives
consistent with these values
Everything that they do or say is a reflection of these innermost convictions
Your whole world can fall down around you, but as long as you know that you're doing the right thing
you'll have a deep inner sense of calm that will manifest itself in an attitude of confidence and
self-assurance in any situation
You'll have many ups and downs in life, but what is most important is that you remain true to?
Yourself and then as Shakespeare said thou canst not then be false to any man
So the starting point of developing high levels of self-confidence and in reality
Becoming a superior human being is to think through and to decide upon your values
Recently I addressed about 150 members of a national sales force of a very successful company
All the people at the meeting were positive and upbeat and they had a special quality of goodness about them
When I commented on this the president of the company showed me the value statement that the executives of the company had worked out
Before they had begun operations there were two pages of values and principles which were given to everyone in the company when they began
These two pages had been subs reduced onto plasticized cards that each person could carry in their wallet or purse
The president told me an interesting story
He said that whenever two or more people in the company were wrestling with the decision of any kind even over the telephone
They would pull out their plasticized cards containing the definitions of their values
and they would go through the values together one by one and
Compare the various options with each value
Whatever decision they finally made would always stand the the value test without question
In a recent study covering 25 years of business history the researchers found that companies that had very clear written values to which
everyone in the company ascribed had earned an average of
700 percent greater profit over the 25 years
Than other companies in the same industries that did not have written codes of values
the economic and personal results of individuals and corporations with clear values always
Tend to be far superior to those of companies and individuals whose values are vague or unclear
Your starting point toward higher self confidence and personal greatness
Is to clarify your values for yourself to decide for yourself? What it is that you believe in?
What do you stand for and even more? What will you not stand for?
What would you pay for or sweat for or maybe even die for?
Do you value your family your god your health your work or career or?
D.value principles such as freedom and liberty compassion for the less fortunate or reverence for life
Do you believe in honesty and truth and sincerity and hard work and success whatever your values are think them through?
and write them down a
Useful exercise you can engage in is to think of the men and women living in dead whom you most admire
What qualities are attributes of these people do you consider to be the most important what qualities?
Do you look for in your friends and associates when you're trying to decide whether or not to become deeply involved with them?
What do you think are the fundamental qualities or values that underlie business and personal relationships?
What are your values?
Almost everyone will select the value of integrity as one of their foremost principles actually
Integrity is more than a value. It is the one quality of mind that assures or guarantees all the other values that you select
Whenever I conduct a strategic planning session for a corporation
The executives of the corporation always select integrity as their highest value and the most important
organizing principle for the entire organization and
The word integrity according to the dictionary means perfect
undivided complete
Unified a single whole without blemish or fault
It's a fine value to choose
However
You cannot have a little bit of integrity you cannot have a value when it's convenient and put it aside when it's not convenient
The act of selecting your values is also the act of clearly stating to yourself and sometimes to others
Exactly how you will live from this moment forward
Once you've selected a value, and you have declared it to be one of your unifying principles
You are in effect saying that this is something upon
Which you will never compromise and your level of adherence to the values you have personally selected is
the real measure of your quality as a human being
unshakeable self confidence comes from
Unshakable commitment to your values when deep down inside yourself
You know that you will never violate your highest principles you experienced a deep sense of personal power that enables you to
Deal openly and honestly and with complete self confidence in almost every human situation
By the way if you're having trouble clarifying your values a very helpful exercise is to take some time to write out your own
obituary or eulogy
This obituary is your vision of the kind of person you wish to be and the kind of values you wish to live by
No, one is perfect, and we all have a long way to go and living our lives consistent with our highest
I use but the very exercise of writing out your
Ultimate goal in terms of your personal evolution will exert a powerful influence on everything you do thereafter
both consciously and unconsciously
You'll always be drawn toward living and acting more and more like the person you described in that final Testament
Once you've decided upon your values and there should seldom be more than five or ten which become your most significant unifying principles
Your work is not over now you have to organize your values by priority
You have to decide which value is more important
And which value is less important if you wrote out each of your values on a small square of paper
And then you had to throw away all the squares, but one
Which one would you keep?
This then becomes your foremost value the one that takes precedence over all the others
Which would be your second value and your third and your fourth and so on?
Your order of priority is extremely important in determining the kind of person you are in the kind of life you live
If your family comes before your health through your work in your order of values you would always
Sacrifice your health or your work for the well-being of your family
If your order of values were changed and your work or financial success came before your health
You would be saying that you would sacrifice your health is that was necessary to get ahead in your career
I've known businessmen who put career success ahead of their families in their order of priority
whenever they had to choose one of the other they regularly chose their work over spending time with their spouse and children and
As a result both the marriages and the careers have run into serious trouble
The principle of integrity seems to be a law of the universe
Whenever you violate or compromise your integrity for anything or even when you organize your values in the wrong order
There seems to be a great power or force of retribution that will not allow you to get away with it
integrity seems to be an absolute requirement for successful human living a
Failing in integrity a failing to live consistent with your values
Not only seems to bring a outta punishment that fits the crime
Whether it's in business politics or personal life, but it seems to create a high level of stress
unhappiness and inner turmoil in the life of the individual
This need for absolute integrity seems to require that you live in truth with all people and under all circumstances
Living in truth means that you never live a lie
It means that you always do and say what you know to be right and true no matter what the short-term cost
Living in truth means that you do not pretend or practice self delusion you face life and your relationships and your circumstances
Exactly as they are not as you wish they would be
living in truth also means that you never stay in a situation that makes you unhappy or
Which you feel for any reason is wrong for you
Living in truth means that you set peace of mind is your highest goal and as your core
Organizing principle you select all your smaller goals to be consistent with it you never
Compromise your peace of mind for anyone or anything else you do and say only the things that feel
Perfectly right for you
You accept your thoughts and feelings completely whatever they are and you systematically change each part of your life
That is not giving you peace of mind
Only in this way
Can you enjoy the high levels of self-confidence that are experienced by the superior individual?
Only in this way, can you feel really terrific about yourself and get along wonderfully in all your relationships
Living consistent with your values is the key to happiness harmony and well-being and
this brings us to the final point in this session perhaps the most important point of all and
That is that your true values are only expressed in your actions in what you do
Whenever you are under stress and pulled in two directions at once with opposing demands or responsibilities
Your true values come to the fore the action that you take will tell you which the value is uppermost
It's not what you say or hope or wish or intend, but only what you do that counts
your choices tell you unerringly who you really are a
Person who says that his or her family comes first and that has to choose between
working late and going to a child's school play or sports activity and who chooses the child's needs over the bosses requirements is a
Person who is living consistent with his or her highest values
Everyone has had the experience of walking away from a job or a relationship even though considerable sacrifice was involved
because it was the right though painful thing to do and
Everyone remembers how great they felt as a result one of the finest natural?
highs you can experience is to choose a higher value and act on that value no matter what the cost and
It will always turn out to be the right thing to do you
Can develop a superb set of values by acting as though you already had those values you can develop
integrity and courage and compassion and confident by behaving as though you already had these qualities and
The more you act the part
Especially when you demonstrate these qualities under stress or when you feel like doing or saying something else
The more rapidly these qualities become a permanent part of your mental makeup
In mental development, there's a principle called
resistance in
weightlifting for example muscles are developed by
slow lifting of heavy weights
The heavier the weight and the greater the resistance the more blood rushes into the capillaries and the bigger the muscles become
The same principle of resistance holds true in developing mental muscles especially
the mental muscle of the quality of self-confidence
Whenever you exert self mastery and discipline yourself to do or say the right thing especially under stress
You create resistance to your natural tendencies this resistance generates friction
this is the same kind of friction or heat that when applied to a crucible containing chemicals will cause the chemicals to
crystallize and take on a new form
whenever you create friction by resisting your natural tendencies and instead doing what you know is right and true and
consistent with your highest values especially in a difficult situation
the mental heat causes your values to crystallize at a higher level and
Become a permanent part of your character
So the foundation of self-confidence the basis of boldness and self assertion is a deep inner trust
based on living a life of perfect integrity and
Disciplining yourself to live consistent with your highest values in every situation each time you do this
You will feel positive and happy and wonderful about yourself
your behavior will further crystallize and become a more permanent part of the exceptional human being
That you are in the process of becoming
You
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