(upbeat music)
(bright music)
- [Nicole] Welcome back to The F Word,
a series about adopting a kid from foster care.
(typewriter sounds)
I don't know what to do
about this awkward in-betweener stage we're in.
We finished our paperwork,
we turned it in to the social worker,
we have been, like, signed off on.
We're, I think, technically licensed
foster parents right now.
- [Kristan] Stamped.
- Yeah, we've been stamped on our foreheads
and now we just sit on our hands and wait
for God knows how long.
(whimsical music)
Woo!
- Those months were horrible for me.
They were horrible.
(laughs)
That was the year I canceled the holidays!
(laughs)
(rock music)
Tariku, this is Nicole and Kristan.
- Hi, Tariku!
Special delivery.
- [Jillian] Nicole and Kristan are
adopting a baby right now,
do you have any advice for them?
- Oh, we'd love to hear your advice.
- Jovi, do you have any advice?
- [Jillian] Do you think that they should adopt a baby?
- Uh, maybe.
(laughter)
- So, we saw his picture.
He is just, like, a dumpling.
(roaring)
He lived in a home that was kind of like a group home.
He'd seen kids come and go
and just, no one came for him.
(groovy music)
- We met Kenyon on a Friday
and just immediately fell in love.
You know, I'm biracial,
and having grown up in African-american communities
we thought he would be a great match for us.
He was, like, the cutest little baby in the whole world.
- Not that we're biased or anything.
(laughter)
- [Nicole] Is that totally embarrassing
when they say that about you,
or are you cool with it?
- It's fine.
(laughter)
- What surprised you about the process
that you just weren't expecting?
- Well certainly it moved more quickly than we expected,
that was surprising.
There were a lot of surprising things
that happened once, um.
- [Nicole] (laughs) Did you just say he's getting old?
- [William] He did say he's getting old.
He's noticing the spots on his hands,
the age spots.
- Can we get a close up on that, please?
I mean, the thing about adopting through foster care
is that there's a lot of it
that's out of your control.
'Cause you don't know when the kid's going to come along,
when you're going to be offered a child
and then this will be the kid that you have
for the rest of your life.
So, you have to take huge leap of faith.
- Were there other things that kind of,
other fantasies or myths that were exploded for you?
- Yeah.
- I was prepared for anything.
- We were hunkered down.
- I was, like, there's gonna be fires lit,
there's going to be feces thrown,
there's going to be death,
there's going to be pentagrams,
there's going to be, like, all kinds of--
- All the scary things they tell you.
We felt like, how do we know
we're not about to ruin our lives?
And so we were driving,
we pulled the car over and we just held hands
and we prayed.
And then, when we were done,
Scott was like, well, you gotta believe in someone sometime.
So I'm gonna believe in this kid.
- So since you've turned into
such an amazing human being,
we're also kind of hoping that maybe
you have some advice for us,
like, as a couple of people who want to adopt.
- What are you adopting, boys or girls?
- We don't know, we sorta,
secretly have a preference for boys,
but we're telling the social worker
that it doesn't matter.
- Okay, well, if they want a video game system,
wait until they're 10.
- It's not anything live, right?
- [Nicole] It this like a Harry Potter kinda sword?
Woo!
Are your feet too big for these boots?
- [Jovi] Don't pull 'em off.
- What were some of the things
that people said to you all
once you said you were gonna adopt?
- Ugh - Yeah
- It just got, you tell 'em,
we just had so many stories like,
oh, my sister's best friend was fostering
and then they came in the middle of the night
and took the child.
- I mean, just horrible.
People tell you--
- Oh, my friend was fostering a baby
and it burned their house down and blah, blah, blah.
- They may be otherwise very well intentioned,
intelligent people.
But when you talk about fost-adopting,
or fostering, people tell you these gruesome stories
which is why I write about it.
I was adopted and there's never any question,
you know, is this a valid way to create a family?
Is this a real family?
Tariku used to feel bad for Scott
because he's not adopted.
(chuckling)
I was adopted, he was adopted, the doggies were adopted,
everyone here is adopted except Scott.
- Oh, there's a really cute kid
crossing the street right now.
- Cute kid alert.
- Around the corner there.
- Oh, it's too far.
Come closer.
- [Kristan] They're gonna come closer.
Come closer, we have a cute dog for you to pet.
(sad sighs)
- What about during the waiting period?
Like, we may be waiting another six months
or 16 months we don't know.
Is there anything you recommend we do
or just think about?
- So the waiting period's important.
And there'll be ups and downs during that waiting period
as you get your hopes up about a child
and then it doesn't work out
and I think it's really important for you guys
to be really kind to one another
because I think that it can be painful.
- Well, I really actually wanted to go on a trip,
I had this trip planned for the two of us,
and William was really eager to move forward
as fast as possible with adoption
and sure enough, boom.
And so the trip never happened.
So what I'd say is go on that trip.
(folklorico music)
- It's like how did we get two kids,
you know what I mean?
That fit so well in this family?
(drumming)
Tariku was so rhythmic,
loved music and loved dancing,
just fits in perfect with us.
And then, when I first me Jovi I was like,
it's just in the stars that these are our kids.
(rock music)
(lullaby music)
(text message alert)
(bouncy music)
- [Voiceover] Watch more Indie Lens Storycast
by following these links.
Short Stories: Big Impact.
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