Hi my name is Siope. I'm the member of the Smarter Parenting team. Today I wanted to
talk to you about a question that a lot of parents have, and there's like
polarizing opinions about it, the question is "when should my child get a
cellphone?" Okay. That is a huge question. A lot of parents have different views
about it and I just want to share some thoughts and insights on that and kind
of give you some guidelines on things that you should consider in giving your
child a cellphone. So, the very first thing that parents should consider
before giving their child a cell phone is the maturity level of the child. They
should understand that a cell phone is not a toy. I mean this is an expensive
piece of equipment that they own that they'll be carrying around. Parents
should also consider their ability to communicate honestly with their child.
Okay. A lot of talking has to happen. A lot of discussions about safety. Using a
cell phone need to happen before the child receives the cell phone. Okay. So
again we're looking at maturity as a child. Are they able to handle it? Are
they able to take care of it, you know? Are they are they able to be
mature about owning a cell phone. And then the other part is does your child
communicate effectively with you. Are they honest with you? Now that's where
the tricky part comes in because as a child gets older they're actually
seeking more independence from their parents, right. So you initially start off
with a baby, the baby is completely dependent on the parents for everything,
food, shelter, warmth, love. As a child grows they actually start to develop
more independence. They want to become independent. At the time that most
parents give children cellphones they're actually moving in towards that phase.
One of the biggest questions that parents debate about in giving their
children cell phones is privacy. I mean some parents honestly believe that it is
inappropriate for them to check their child's cell phone at all because their
child deserves to be private. While others advocate for
the child needs to be protected and safe because it's not a safe environment. And
so there's differing views about this. Again, if we go back to their maturity
level or they mature enough to handle a cellphone, and then if they're able to
communicate things, and you're having discussions about using the cellphone
safely. Those are your primary things that
you're going to focus on or you should focus on as a parent. Now am i an
advocate for a parent being able to monitor their child 100 percent? I think
it depends on the child and again their maturity and on the communication. I
think it also depends on a parent's ability to recognize what dangers are
out there. Parents need to do their homework. What is available? What is
popping up on the internet. What is, what is there. Now a cell phone may seem like
a kind of this, you know, small thing. It's not a big deal. But parents should ask
themselves the questions would I leave my child unsupervised on the Internet?
Because basically that's what it is. You're leaving your child unsupervised.
So should you monitor? Should you not monitor? That depends on you as a parent
and your level of communication. The maturity of your child. And your comfort
level, all right. I'm not gonna say either or, you should or you shouldn't, but be
aware that there is a whole industry out there that is created to monitor and to
help you monitor what your child is on. Be aware there are predators out there.
Conversations need to happen with parent and child about what is happening and
parents should be aware that new things are popping up all the time. I do suggest
that parents have this conversation all the time with their child. And that
parents monitor how often they use their device. Well you know, whether or not they
should jump on there and check it all the time, completely up to the parent. But
they should see if they're using their device you know for hours at a time. That
may not be the best thing. I mean, take your kids outside. Go outside. You know,
have a conversation with the person face-to-face. You know experience the
world because it doesn't exist on a screen. And the more a child is on a
screen, the more their world revolves about what
happening in that little little device. So again, measure the maturity. Have
Effective Communication. Continued conversations about when your child
should have a phone. I am NOT an advocate of people saying, "well at 13 they should
get a phone or at 15" because children at 13 are so different. You will not find
equal maturity across 13 year-olds. You're not going to find equal maturity
around 15 year-olds. Just like you're not going to find the equal maturity around
40 year-olds. We're all different, right. Children are though the responsibility
of their parents, and so parents need to be aware of what their children are
doing. Now this comes especially into play when children are sharing and
texting images and things like that. There's a high probability that your
child will receive inappropriate images on their device. Either from the peer or
from a predator or wherever, okay. Your child needs to know how to handle that.
And you need to be aware of what you need to do as a parent in order to
address those issues. So you can find more information on the Smarter
Parenting website on what you should do. There's a blog on there specifically on
what should I do as a parent if I find nude images on my child's phone. You can
look that up and it gives you some suggestions on what you need to do to
follow up and be aware. A child possessing another nude image on their
device, if it's from another child who is under age, obviously, it's child
pornography. I mean that is, you can be prosecuted for possessing something like
that. And it's it's dangerous. You don't want your child exposed to anything like
that. So again the communication is super super important. If it's a somebody who's
above 18 it's pornography and you don't want your child looking at pornography.
So you want to have these conversations as they continue to go and
you want to be aware. So just be vigilant. Be aware and determine if a cell phone
is best for you and your family and your child. But understand that there are
risks. There are risks with having a cell phone. So for more information and more
ways to communicate with your child effectively, you can find that on the
Smarter Parenting website. So jump there and look there. Don't forget to subscribe
to our YouTube channel. We continually provide updates and answer questions
that you may have. You can send us your questions or concerns. You can leave a
comment below. That would be super helpful. Smarter Parenting exists
because of the donations of donors, so feel free to donate to our cause so we
can continue to provide this help to parents and guardians of
children around the world. We're super happy to help.
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