Waching daily Jan 3 2017

Hi, I'm Sissy Low Worthiston.

And I'm here to tell you that the biggest furniture store in North America...

... the city of Van Nuys...

... is having a furniture sale.

You heard me right.

The City of Van Nuys is a furniture store!

Van Nuys is a furniture store!

Save up to 100 percent at this everyday, city-wide, constant sale.

We've got mattresses, sofas, tables, bed bugs, mattresses, sofas, tables, TVs, TVs, TVs,

abandoned dog, corn, and more!

We've even got imports from Panorama City!

Panorama City!

Save on all brands!

Curbside, street-side, Serta, front yard, back yard, back alley, your mom's house...

... and more!

And More!

Nobody... and I mean absolutely nobody, wants these items.

Get furniture for your crack house, crack den, crack loft, crack small business...

Crack former Dairy Queen, crack bar and grill...

Butt Crack!

Butt Crack!

Conveniently come pick up in dead of night, and we'll even throw in bed bugs for free!

Free Bed Bugs!

We're located 34 degrees longitude, 118 degrees latitude, 107 degrees Fahrenheit.

Between Lake Balboa and North Hollywood.

Just far enough that no one comes and visits you...

And remember, if you find a mattress with fewer bed bugs, then it wasn't from Van Nuys.