Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 1, 2017

Waching daily Jan 3 2017

According to the census bureau, New York state has a population of nearly twenty million,

two thirds of which reside in the metropolitan New York city area,

making New York the most populated city in the United States.

Shungnak, Alaska is a village with two-hundred fifty-six, spread through fifty-six

households and fifty-one families.

The state of New York people covers fifty-four thousand, five hundred fifty-five square miles,

making it the 27th largest state in the United States.

The village of Shungnak has a total area of 9.6 square miles, 8.4 square miles are land and

1.3 square miles are made up of water.

Some say New York City is known as the world's most economically powerful city in the world.

It is a cultural capital as well as an important hub for international diplomacy.

Shungnak's name is associated with the Eskimo term issing-yak, meaning Jade,

a stone abundantly found in the area.

Two places contrasting in every detail, two locations that are totally different.

What if I told you these places are very similar – how can such dis-similar locations be the

same.

We're here in incredible Alaska, it's one of the last frontiers, it's the largest state in the

United States and yet it has the smallest percentage of

population per square mile.

Shungnak is part of the

Northwest artic region, a very remote area completely

disconnected from any roads to neighboring villages.

Meet Anthony Sherman, his wife Irene and their son Hezekiah – Tony moved to Shungnak to take a

mission position that the Alaskan conference had been looking to fill.

My wife and I came to Shungnak because this is where God was

calling us to, we

had been doing vacation bible

school here for some time and we

believe that it was time for

someone to move here and it was on our hearts to do so.

When the Sherman family moved to Shungnak, they did not have any running water and only a wood

stove to heat their home.

For the first three weeks they lived in the small church and then moved into the parsonage

right next to the church.

Well the challenge is being out in the middle of nowhere.

When you don't know anybody, I mean you know the people out here but when you don't have

friends and when you just can't get out whenever you want to, or when I want to see my family in

the Philippines I can't really do that because it costs so much money to travel.

Some of the challenges that we deal with are the logistics, the climate,

the different struggles that are present in the village.

But, I have my husband, my son and I have God with me, so.

It has been a positive experience for us as well because we are in the center of

God's will and to be in the center of God's will is a

no other place to be.

Tony works at the local clinic as a healthcare provider, along with his colleagues he is the

first to address all the health problems and concerns of the locals in the village.

Tony and his team respond to emergencies that range from suicides to snowmobile

accidents.

If any emergency is beyond what the local clinic can manage, he uses a medivac plane to

transport patients 160 miles to Kotzebue, through his position, Tony is able to gain the

communities trust and respect and he does not waste any opportunities to connect with

people.

Well besides our work at the clinic, besides what I do for my profession here,

we spend a fair amount of time with kids as well as – mostly elders.

During the week on Mondays, we have a youth group that we do for kids that are 8 years and

older and they come to our house.

On Tuesday's and Wednesday evenings, we try to get out to people's houses,

Wednesday night we have bible studies with the family, Thursday nights,

usually on that particular night we'll take our musical instruments and we'll go and do

some singing, usually elderly people that are in our village.

What are other things that we do?

Sabbath we'll have Saturday school, Sabbath school for kids, we will try to hold adult

services.

Saturday night we'll make a trip out to another elders house, you know.

We try to be in people's homes as much as possible.

The church and parsonage were built in the 1970s but have not had an active mission post since

the late 1980s.

For a few years, the building has been used for vacation bible school,

by the Delta Junction Adventist Church.

Tony and Irene have been holding bible studies in their house since the church is not suitable

for any fellowship during the winter months.

Our dream for this church is that someday there will be people in it.

Right now it's not really fit for services in the winter, really or the summer.

It needs a lot of work and right now we have no membership, we have no attendance.

But our dream and hope and confidence is that God will provide us with a fellowship

here.

This is a major concern for the couple since they have become well received by the community,

the need to congregate somewhere has grown.

Villagers have told them that if the church was up and running people would come.

We're refurbishing the church and fixing it up and putting lots of time and effort and

money into it because we believe that God will supply the souls - that God will bring people and

He will open up doors and the time will come that we will have a fellowship here;

we will have a church family.

The work needs to be done patiently and prayers for opportunities are made every

day.

Although God is guiding the Sherman's mission work, the cold weather,

difficult circumstances and distance from loved one's are discouraging.

Sometimes my wife and I are discouraged when we are here alone.

You know, we sometimes feel that we're just kind of out here by ourselves and we are tempted to

feel like we are not making the impact and no one is really with us,

and no one is really supporting us; and there's been times that we felt like it would be nice to

maybe move and join a different type of mission field where there's people who are working

together more as a team.

I'm kind of like seeing like what are my weaknesses, you know,

and it kind of helps me to know at the same time that God is kind of helping me to work with

it.

I'm very impatient, I want things to happen, if I want it to happen - I want it to happen

but living out here, I've learned that things doesn't happen when you want it to

happen.

One thing that has always given us hope is knowing that we're doing what God has asked us to

do and we've had comfort in that.

To be a missionary is like leaving what you have behind and go somewhere different and

getting out of your comfort zone.

You know the coldness of the water, the coldness of the icebergs,

kind of reminds me of the coldness that can come in the heart when you feel lonely,

separated from God and yet the warmth of God's love and of His people can bring into your life

a wonderful connection that will help you not to feel alone.

The things that inspire Irene and I are, there's a few different things,

but God will often times provide opportunities, He will open doors,

He will actually cause things to happen that give us glimpses of what He's doing,

you know.

We'll start a new study or someone will say something to us that will give us encouragement,

we'll see some fruit of the relationships we're building with kids as well as with people

in the community.

You know, God will do something to help us see that His work is being accomplished through us

and that our faithfulness is pleasing to Him.

The courage and faithfulness Tony and Irene have is contagious.

Their determination to fulfil the mission is inspiring.

God and His angels comfort them, and motivate them to move ahead despite challenges,

the faces, the sounds, the people, the landscapes.

Besides being so small and completely isolated, Shungnak is still a huge priority for

Christ.

The Sherman's example is a beautiful testimony of selflessness to revive the

mission.

They might be alone but they are never by themselves.

Jesus is everything.

I mean, Jesus is the reason why I'm here.

If I don't, I mean, if not for Him I won't be able to make it.

I won't be able to live here for 4 years.

Jesus, for me, He is Everything.

He's my friend, He is my encouragement, He is my strength,

He is the one I go to when I'm hurt, when I maybe can't talk to my own family,

He is the one I can speak to about every single problem I have and He is the One who is

changing me from the inside out.

Just look at this grandeur, the glacier, the icebergs, the water,

the mountains.

You could feel very much alone here, maybe kind of like New York but very different.

We're here in Times Square, what a contrast between Alaska and New York.

So many colors, sparkling lights, millions of people, the glamor,

the fame, the buzz.

New York is a city drastically different from Shungnak.

At first glance, it seems that everybody has something to do, places to go,

everyone is ready to enjoy life.

It doesn't matter how busy people seem to be, how entertained people think they

are, the bottom line is that if we don't experience Jesus in our lives we have an empty void

inside.

We feel lonely, even in a crowd, that emptiness can only be filled by Christ.

In that matter, New York is exactly the same Shungnak, the outside may be busier but on the

inside we are all the same - humans in desperate need of a Savior.

That was the challenge the North American Division faced, how do we reach people so dear to

Christ's heart in a place as isolated as Shungnak and how do we reach people in a place as

busy and overflowing with action as New York City.

The whole issue of reaching the cities is an issue that now has become preeminent in the world

church, and New York City is a symbol of not only huge cities but it's also,

when you read the writings of Ellen White, it was a focus and she basically was saying that

New York should be worked and how it should be worked.

And so New York was chosen jointly by the General Conference and the North

American Division as kind of a place where the urban center evangelism around the world

would be initiated.

To realize the dream and address the challenges, NY13 was created,

a comprehensive urban evangelistic initiative designed to involve each church

administrator, department director, pastor and church member in the greater

metropolitan New York City area.

It produced more than 400 evangelistic campaigns in one year.

To achieve such synergy, the church leadership planned every detail,

discussed ideas, formed radical prayer groups, focused on intercessory prayer,

conducted training programs and also a first of it's kind, world field school of evangelism.

We are seeing pastor's excited, the lay people are excited, churches are excited and for

what is happening this is just a phenomenon situation here and I believe that God is here working

with us and working with the people.

I had the chance to participate in a number of events and saw how members filled the autorium

at Hunter College for the NY13 evangelism rally, hosted by speaker Mark Finley.

There are multiple ways you can be involved, one of the ways, of course is go with your local

pastor and say, "Pastor, we want to be sure that our church is involved in NY13."

Ernestine Finley conducted a lay training seminar called, "Light Your World for God,"

with nearly 600

lay people in attendance who are excited to learn effective principles of soul winning.

We are already on the verge of the kingdom waiting to be gathered in and we're looking

for them, we're trying to find them.

Who are they?

Lay people were deeply committed to Christ and their passion to witness made the difference in

New York City.

I want to see thousands of new disciples serving the Lord here in the city.

I want to see the Church regenerated, revived.

I want to see a new life in the Adventist community of New York.

For the first time ever, an international field school of evangelism was organized with

specialized teachers from different Adventist universities and institutions.

The initiative was held at the Luso Brazilian church in Queens and consisted of practical

classes and seminars exploring the biblical principles of comprehensive urban evangelism

in the context of the world's major cities, as well at the needed tools to launch a

comprehensive urban evangelistic approach in their respective territories.

The classes happened in the morning for several days, in the evenings most of the

participants held evangelistic series in the metropolitan, New York and New Jersey area

churches.

I had the honor of going back to where I started my ministry at the historic Manhattan

Seventh-day Adventist church to conduct a three-week evangelistic series called,

"Revelation of Hope" as part of mission to the cities NY13 series.

Mark Finley was the host of the meetings and Robert Costa translated the messages into

Spanish.

Seventy people were baptized as a result of the series and 7 churches were involved.

Youth from the "One Year in Mission" initiative developed a creative method of evangelism,

extending its community outreach to teach English as a second language.

The whole team put the project together because we saw the community is mostly Dominican

and they don't speak English at all.

So we came up with the idea to help them with something that they really need,

so that's why we designed ESL classes to reach the community.

The class is very good to me.

I'm so happy, [to] have class in my community - helping me a lot to speak correct English.

Most of the people are immigrants and you can actually understand the reason why most

of them are here and the challenges that they have in terms of communicating in

English with the people around them, it's a drawback.

So having to help them out with that, it's actually a blessing.

The class actually over today, it's the last one and tomorrow is starting the evangelistic

crusade downtown in 11th street.

So we actually invited all of them, officially to the evangelistic crusade saying,

basically putting it as practical English classes since the crusade will be in English

and Spanish – translated.

So we invited all of them to come to have special reserved seats,

and to basically practice English.

The North American Division Health Ministries department also held a health summit,

which provide the opportunity for church leaders to be trained on principles of health and how

to conduct various health outreach programs within the church's and communities around

New York City.

Praise God for the tremendous resources that this summit has brought to our people.

They have come from all over, they are here from as far away as California,

they are here from different states of the United States and of course our own brothers and

sisters, men and women, visitors, guests here in New York City.

The NY13 leadership decided to meet the communities needs and provide hope for common health

problems.

"Let's Move Day" was an event where churches, schools and health care institutions were

encourage to host runs, walks or other active events for kids, youth and families.

The whole point of Let's Move Day in the NY13 context was to mingle with people,

extend kindness, make friends and share a message of health, hope and wholeness.

The world is full of inconsistencies and that's not a way a person should – I don't

want to live my life with inconsistencies so I found by building a relationship with God

that I will find consistency by the way I should live my life.

The joint camp meeting at the Nassau Veteran's Memorial Coliseum was one for the record

books - close to 13,000 attended the Sabbath services.

About 135 people were baptized following the worship services.

I look into my life and there is an empty, empty space that cannot be filled with anything

and I've tried and I've tried and I cannot find that peace that keeps you – just God.

Even with nothing to eat, but you have that peace and you are happy.

And only with my God I feel that I can restore my life and become a better person,

a better mom and do a little bit more in this world and I feel happy.

According to reports from the NY13 steering committee, there have been at least 5,200

baptisms as a result of NY13.

God loves people, it doesn't matter where they are, it doesn't matter what their

situation is, they can be isolated in a far-away land, they can be isolated in a crowd.

God is interested in filling the void, bringing fulfillment and purpose to a lonely soul.

>From the heat of a big city to the cold of a seemingly forgotten village,

God is willing to provide hope and especially companionship - it doesn't matter the need.

Our task is to open our hearts to Him and surrender our lives to His service.

It can be the job of an individual or it can involve thousands of people.

God will fill in the blanks and make his message known.

We just have to be willing.

Here at the mouth of a glacier you feel the incredible power of God's presence,

it's an amazing place where nature takes it's turn in showing the fingerprints of God.

It's an amazing setting and a feeling that helps you to know that God is real,

His marvelous works are incredible.

I think of Psalm 105, the first four verses, "O give thanks unto the Lord;

call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.

Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works.

Glory ye in His holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord.

Seek the Lord, and His strength: seek His face evermore." In a quiet,

solitary place like this, God's presence is felt but it doesn't matter if you're in the middle

of a big city, out in the country side or wherever you are,

you can seek God's presence and He is there.

Subtitles by the Amara.org community

For more infomation >> Revival for Mission : North American Division "Contrasting Equalities" - Duration: 28:33.

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Teaching Laura How to treat dog paw injuries - Duration: 2:22.

Please Open!

Can you open this?

What is it?

This is bandage!

Everything will be fine!

One more time!

Does It Still Hurt?

Bubuś is feeling better now :)

For more infomation >> Teaching Laura How to treat dog paw injuries - Duration: 2:22.

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Very Personal Yoga Super HOT COUPLE Yoga Most Beautiful Teen Yoga Lessons

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ENERGY UPDATE Bringing Our Power Back In - Duration: 2:56.

ENERGY UPDATE Bringing Our Power Back In

by Anastacia.

ike picking up a bottle of liquid with colored glitter and giving it a good shake up�there

are so many emotions running around right now, that keep fluctuating�Feeling tired

and then not, and around and around it all goes.

Many have passed through their �gateway� into the New Years energy coming through�.and

many are in the process of doing so with the new (years energy) coming.

Many are feeling sadness and grief in releasing the old need to find a new way, to turn things

around of what one used to do in the past.

HOW TO BRING OUR POWER BACK INTO OURSELVES

And while are going through all we are and with others with where they are, we can always

bring our power back into ourselves to help us to shift into the new for ourselves.

As we are not without power in any moment and now is a really good time to �build

OUR campfire� to help bring OUR power back in � As our solar plexus is our place of

power�you can visualize building a campfire in it, putting rocks or stones in a circle

and laying twigs and kindling and then light it�you will feel this as an enormous sense

of relief when you do this..and then add bigger sticks and then large logs on it.

This is a very very powerful visualization and so very powerful as we need to check on

our campfire regularly.

As we set our new intentions, and maybe starting with basics as we are also starting up what

we want for our next 9 yr cycle.

By walking the middle path, of allowing the winds of the Divine flow through and with

us�as we each will experience what ever it is we need to, to grow and ascend.

It all comes down to US and our attitude as well.

Never has there been a GREATER TIME FOR HUMANITY for those who are living Spiritually consciously

and who have �worked� so damn hard and diligently on ourselves.

Much Unconditional Love, Truth and Honesty.

For more infomation >> ENERGY UPDATE Bringing Our Power Back In - Duration: 2:56.

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OPSC Team Member Vlog Isang Smith: My 2016 Reflections - Duration: 0:57.

- Here's to new projects and ideas for the year ahead,

to catching up with friends and family,

after going through one pretty hectic schedule

in acupuncture school.

What's new with me?

I'm going to share more resources

through my massage practice with On Point Sports Care,

starting up a project called AcuTalks,

and spending more time training

in martial arts, running, and strength.

I can do a chin up now, it's true.

So my hope this year is to get feedback from everyone

on these fun, new projects

and to learn a little bit more about you.

Like what got you into running,

into martial arts, into strength training?

What do you know about acupuncture?

What do you hope to learn about it?

And do you want me to make more cat videos?

Thanks, as always, for watching this

and see you around in the new year.

For more infomation >> OPSC Team Member Vlog Isang Smith: My 2016 Reflections - Duration: 0:57.

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This Is Not Happening - Bert Kreischer - Flying Dildos - Uncensored - Duration: 16:00.

- They kept her in a fucking closet?

Are you shitting me?

And they were like, "Yeah, the Nazis were looking for her."

I go, "The fucking Nazis were looking for her?"

[laughter]

"How did they not put this in the movie?

How did the Nazis not find..."

[babbling incoherently]

[dark electronic music]

- Oh! Ahh!

Ugh! Oh! Ahh!

Augh!

[cheers and applause]

- One of my best friends.

The host of the "Bertcast" podcast.

Please give it up for Mr. Bert Kreischer, everybody.

[cheers and applause]

- Yeah, I am the machine.

[laughter]

I'm nursing one of the worst hangovers

I've ever had in my fucking life right now.

So cheers to Ari, to Comedy Central.

[cheers and applause]

I don't read a lot.

[laughter]

I'm not--I'm not--I'm not, like, a--I'm smart, but I'm not,

like, a--like...

[laughter]

I'm not good with facts and stuff.

Like, I was talking to someone the other day,

and I realized I'd always thought Anne Frank

and Helen Keller were the same person.

[laughter]

Like, well into my 20s.

[laughter]

Do you know where I found out?

At the Anne Frank house.

Do you have any idea wh--I-- I went--okay.

I backpacked through Europe when I was 22 with these four guys.

Three are lawyers, so I can't say their names.

The other one's named Wicho.

And these guys were just fucking nerds.

The whole time we were backpacking, they were like,

"You want to go to, like, the Louvre?

"Do you want to see David?

"Do you want-- we should take a class

"and learn about how they cut diamonds

so when we get engaged we can have"--

I'm like, "I...

"what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

"We--we're here to bang Swedish chicks.

That's it. Like, are you out of your minds?"

And then one day they're like, "Hey, do you want to go to the

Anne Frank house?"

And I lit up. I was like, "Fuck yes."

And they were like, "Wow, you seem really excited."

And I was like, "No, we'll get a bag of weed,

and we'll laugh our dicks off."

[laughter]

And they're like, "Really?"

I go, "Yeah, I've been hearing jokes about this girl

my whole life."

[laughter]

"We'll get high, put a plunger in the toilet."

[laughs]

And they were like, "What?"

I go, "Do you get to go into the house?"

And they were like, "Yeah, you can go see the closet

they kept her in," and I go, "They kept her

in a fucking closet?"

[laughter]

Are you shitting me?

And they were like, "Yeah, the Nazis were looking for her."

I go, "The fucking Nazis were looking for her?"

[laughter]

"How did they not put this in the movie?

How did the Nazis not find..."

[babbling incoherently]

[laughter]

So I get excited. I get a bag of weed.

And I'm like, "I can't wait to go to the Anne Frank house."

[laughter]

I'm, like, beaming, I'm so pumped up.

[laughter]

On our walk to the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam,

we pass by a sign that says,

"Live sex. Live sex. Live sex. Flying dildos."

[laughter]

And I'm like, "All right, suck a silent dick, Anne Frank."

[laughter]

"We're going to see flying dildos."

We can--well, what are you gonna pick, culture

or the Anne Frank house?

I'm going with culture.

[laughter]

So I get us tickets.

We all go in.

Has anybody ever been to a live sex show?

- Whoo.

- One guy in the back. Perfect.

It's aggressive.

It's a lot creepier than you'd ever think.

See, here's the problem with a live sex show:

every show you go to elicits a response.

When you come to this show, you know to laugh.

When you go to see music, you get inspired.

But when you go to a live sex show,

the only response is to creep people out.

Just like, "Oh, maybe I'll get hard."

[low laughter]

So we go in. We sit down.

It's as intimate as this.

And we light a joint, get to know some of the other fellas,

like-minded gentlemen.

[laughter]

First woman comes up, no fanfare,

no intro music, not even that hot.

She's like a sex show six.

[laughter]

Comes up-- she definitely has another job.

Like, trust me.

It's this intimate.

It needs to be ex-- we are this close

and she just starts oil-rigging herself.

Just wha--no.

Listen, I'm not big into foreplay,

but total lack of foreplay looks a lot like assault, okay?

[laughter]

And she is going to town,

and we're making the same look, just, "Ohh-ohh-ohh,"

which she confuses for, "Oh, I guess they can't see,"

and just goes back to performing her gynecological exam

on herself.

Now, I have a problem with silence,

so I immediately start talking to her.

[laughter]

And I'm like, "Do you speak English?"

She's like, "No."

I was like, "Fuck.

Uh, you're doing a really good job."

She was like, "Oh, thank you."

And I go, "Do you do flying dildos?"

And she's like, "No."

And I was like... [sighs] "Great."

Five minutes. Five minutes she does this.

Five minutes, just goes to town on herself.

Just--it gets aggre--by the end, we're like,

now we're learning shit about the woman's anatomy.

We're like, "That's her urethra I think.

That's amazing."

She gets done. We give her a golf clap.

[laughter]

Two girls come on stage, and, now, if this girl was all song,

no dance, these girls were all dance,

no song.

A lot of foreplay.

You can't walk backwards in a story.

Like, I had to stop and go, "Ladies, ladies,

"we just watched a woman fist herself.

"Like, let's cut to the pink meat, okay?

Like"--they're, like, making out.

And now I'm the spokesman.

Someone's like, "Can you get them to hurry it up?"

And I'm like, "Sure."

I go, "Do you guys do flying dildos?"

And they're like, "No."

I was like, "Okay. Next."

And they're like, "Huh?"

And we're like, "We're good.

We've seen what you have to offer."

They leave. Then--

[laughter]

A guy and a girl come out.

Now, this is where it gets creepy.

I'm not a huge feminist,

but I believe in women's rights, okay?

And this guy just starts doing crowd work.

He's not even incorporating her in.

It's like an improv team where she sits off to the side,

like, fucking one of Jeff Dunham's dummies, just...

[laughter]

And he's like, "Aww, you guys"--

this--by the way, this is exactly what it feels like.

I want you to feel it.

"You guys ready to see me fuck, huh?"

[laughter]

"You want to see me fuck this shit, man?

I fuck it good."

It's creeping me out, and it's assaulting my morals.

[laughter]

And I lean over to my friends, and I go,

"We should have just gone to the Anne Frank house."

[laughter]

Which pisses this guy off.

He goes, "Oh, don't bring up Anne Frank in this room, man."

And I go, "What? Fucking wish I was Anne Frank right now

so I didn't have to see this."

[laughter]

[applause]

And then he starts arguing with me,

but he's arguing with me and getting his dick hard.

Like...

[laughter]

Like, it's such a--like, he's, like, pulling it going,

"Oh, man, don't worry. It gets bigger."

I'm like, "Not on my watch it doesn't."

And I start heckling his dick.

I'm like, "Think about your mom,"

and he's like, "Hey, fuck you, buddy."

I go, "Do you have any sisters?"

He's like, "Hey, not now, man. Not now."

I go, "We should just go to Anne Frank."

And he's like, "Fuck you,"

and he storms off, and now the lunatics are running the asylum,

and I'm their fucking leader.

I'm their--I'm like their Rosa Tubbsman.

Not fucking Rosa Tubbsman.

[laughter]

God damn it.

By the way, I am neither Rosa Parks or Harriet Tubman.

[laughter]

Right--right--

[laughter]

[laughs]

I don't know--right now-- right now in heaven,

Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller,

and Anne Frank are going, "What the fuck is this guy

doing to our names?"

Helen Keller's like... [babbling incoherently]

[laughter]

So I'm their Rosa Tubbsman.

I'm fucking-- I'm leading the--

fucking--

if I--if you didn't think I was stupid

when I started this story...

[laughter]

I'm leading the charge.

And I'm, like, I'm fucking pulling out old high school

chants, like, "We put our hands up high, our feet down low.

"We want flying dildos.

"Flying dildos.

"Flying dildos.

Hey, fellas." "Yeah?"

"Hey, fellas." "Yeah?"

"We want?" "Yeah?"

"Flying dildos, yeah."

They send out some girl to calm us down and we boo her offstage.

We're like, "Get the fuck out, bitch.

"We only want...

"flying dildos!

You heard us." And now--then there's--okay.

Then--let's fucking kill this beer.

[low laughter]

- Whoo!

- Get it, machine.

- I'm hitting it hard as fuck.

[laughter]

Woman comes out, German woman, six feet tall,

thigh-high leather boots, biker's cap, medicine bag,

plops it on the stool, and goes,

"Gentlemen, please, calm down.

I am the flying dildos."

And the place goes fucking bananas.

It looks like the control room in NASA when Apollo 13 landed.

Like, "Oh, we did it!

We did it!"

[laughter]

She goes, "Stop, I will need one volunteer from the audience,"

and these assholes look at me like, "You're up, numbnuts."

[laughter]

I fucking get up onstage, and I am so excited

that I've brought about change.

I feel like I've accomplished something in my life.

I'm literally-- look at my constituents like,

"You said you wanted change!"

I--I didn't say that, probably, but I was like, "Fuck"--

whatever I said.

"I'm Rosa Tubbsman!" And--

[laughter]

I don't even realize her putting a handcuff on me,

and when the second one goes on, I go,

"Hey, maybe we should talk about how flying dildos works."

[laughter]

"Like, I feel like I'm in the dark on this one."

And she does not have, like, happy eyes look on her face

and sweeps me legs in, like, a "Karate Kid" move.

Just... and I land hard.

I land so hard, I knocked the wind out of myself.

And let me tell you something about--when knocked out of wind,

that's a real fucking noise, just, "Hehhhhh."

It is so real, and real respects real.

When you hear that, you're like, "Oh, fuck."

"Hehhhhh."

She tears my pants off me, and my dick pops out of my boxers

unprepared, gentlemen.

I look at my best friend, Wicho, and I go, "Poke it back in."

He's like, "I will not be doing that."

And then the air is removed out of the room, and I hear some guy

go, "Fucking do it," and I'm like, "What?"

I look up.

This woman is straddling my face with a 12-inch black dildo

and Excaliburs it into my mouth.

- No!

- Gentlemen, you have a game-time decision to make.

[laughter]

What do you do in that situation?

Do you purse your lips, close your teeth,

and hope to block the shot?

Could lose your front canines.

[laughter]

Or do you acquiesce and open up and let her go yard in your jaw?

[laughter]

I chose the latter.

She went 8 inches into my throat just...

[gagging]

Now I'm gagging, the wind's knocked out of me, and my dick's

popping out, I'm wiggling like the very last unicorn.

[laughter]

And she looks at the guys and says, "Gentlemen, get your

cameras and line up to get a picture with flying dildos."

These turncoats line up like they're meeting

the fucking queen.

They're like, "Oh, I can't wait," and everyone takes a

picture with me...

[gagging]

The point of my story-- the reason I told it to you...

[laughter]

Is if you ever go to Amsterdam, just go to the Anne Frank house.

[laughter]

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- Wait a second.

First of all, don't leave your shirt--

[laughs] Before you leave.

Second of all, did you ever go to the Anne Frank house?

- Oh, yeah.

So...

I was-- [clears throat]

I was a little rattled after the whole flying dildos experience,

and--but all the guys in the room

thought I was the greatest guy ever.

It was like killing in a comedy club,

and I walk out, and they're all--

it's three football players form UCF,

three French Canadians, a dude from Tennessee,

and a guy from Australia, and my four friends,

and they're like, "We would do anything with you."

And I was like, "Well, I could use some cheering up.

Let's go to the Anne Frank house."

[laughter]

So--so-- [laughs]

So...

- [laughs]

- So, I, uh...

- That's not a cheering up kind of place.

- It gets so much worse.

- [laughing] Yes.

- So we get high as giraffe pussy

and go into the Anne Frank house, and all I'm doing

the whole time is telling Helen Keller jokes.

I'm like--

I'm, like, leaning up to them going like,

"You know she had a dog, right?"

And they're like, "Really?

How do you know so much about Anne Frank?"

I'm like, "He ran away."

And they're like, "He ran away?"

I was like, "Well, you would too if your name was..."

[babbling incoherently]

We go into the kitchen and I'm like,

"Oh, here's where she burned her fingers."

And they're like, "What?"

"Yeah, she tried to read her waffle iron."

[laughter]

And this lady in front of us turned--

- [laughs]

- This--mind you, I'm high as fuck.

This lady--

- No one's gonna tell you, like, "That's not the right person."

- Lady turns around and goes,

"Are you making Helen Keller jokes?"

[laughter]

Ari, Ari, I realized at that moment

that we're not in Helen Keller's house.

[laughter]

We're in the Anne Frank house,

and I don't know who the fuck she is.

[laughter]

And these guys see it in my eyes and 12 dudes fall apart

as high as fuck in a Holocaust museum.

[laughter]

And that is the best laugh you can have,

is when you're not supposed to laugh.

When you're like...

[guttural yelling]

And I'm putting all the pieces together like,

"Oh, I think I was thinking of Anne Sullivan."

- [laughing] No.

- Shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, this is the wrong--

I go, "What happened to this girl?"

And they're like...

[laughter]

- She didn't invent Braille.

- [laughs]

Didn't invent Braille!

- [laughs]

- [sighs]

That's it.

- Yeah.

[laughter]

- Thank you.

- Bert Kreischer.

For more infomation >> This Is Not Happening - Bert Kreischer - Flying Dildos - Uncensored - Duration: 16:00.

-------------------------------------------

One of the Best Places To Visit In Thimphu Bhutan Changangkha Temple Large Prayer Wheels - Duration: 0:26.

For more infomation >> One of the Best Places To Visit In Thimphu Bhutan Changangkha Temple Large Prayer Wheels - Duration: 0:26.

-------------------------------------------

#AbrahamHicks Best § Where you are vibrationally is everything § Daily #LawofAttraction Video Quotes - Duration: 13:51.

For more infomation >> #AbrahamHicks Best § Where you are vibrationally is everything § Daily #LawofAttraction Video Quotes - Duration: 13:51.

-------------------------------------------

2017 – The Beginning Is Near - Duration: 3:03.

2017 � The Beginning Is Near.

by Morag,

Wow!

What a ride 2016 was.

Three massive cosmic waves of higher frequency energy in February, April and late August/September.

Blood moons, super moons, a giant blue sphere, solar flares and all kinds of NASA reported

shenanigans.

This truly was a year of accelerated awakening, upgrades and recalibration.

We faced grief, fear, horror and then Trumpocalypse.

Victory in Standing Rock tainted by the predicted and inevitable oil spill.

As the veils lifted, the curtain pulled back and the darkness illuminated we saw the creatures

who rule in ignorance, greed and hate.

They want their New World Order.

Well maybe it is time for our New World� created in love, harmony and peace.

The war for our minds, bodies and souls rages on.

We look into the eye of our enemy.

Are we going to own our new selves?

Be the people we dream of being?

Be present in our core, confident, graceful and humble?

We hold our ground.

Connect our light to the Gaia grid like twinkling fairy lights strung round the planet.

With every breath we raise the vibrations.

We stand in our power, balanced, aligned and grounded.

2017 is the start of our consolidation period, we will continue to experience upgrades and

recalibrate accordingly but not at the rate of this year.

We have begun processing now.

Unplugging, downloading and evolving.

Know yourself.

Own who you are.

Accept past mistakes.

Release fear.

Let go of convention, consumerism and competition.

Sometimes the easiest way to figure out what you want is to work out what you don�t want.

Find your groove, your path, your way.

Trust your instincts, they are the mouthpiece of your guides and higher self.

Believe we can change the world, one step at a time.

Embrace gratitude as a daily way of life.

Meditate.

Create.

Breathe.

The energies have shifted, cosmic waves of connectivity to higher frequencies opening

our minds to the possibilities of quantum existence.

This is the future.

Integrate, recalibrate, consolidate.

It�s time to step up warriors, teachers, healers and creators.

Own who we are, fulfill our mission, spread love and raise the vibrations maaaaan!

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