- My name is Alix Lynx and I want
to personally thank you all for coming today.
A day I can guarantee will be historic.
She is the woman I believe will shock the world in 2020.
Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow Americans,
the next president of the United States of America,
Ms. Cherie DeVille.
(audience claps)
- Today is the day that is very near and dear to my heart.
Something personally that I am so proud of.
Something that I know is going to affect
this country that we live in.
Specifically, the political mess that we,
as Americans, have found ourselves in!
Like millions of other Americans, just like you,
I have had enough!
I am tired of being misrepresented,
and I am tired of being lied to
by the political leaders.
I am fed up with the circus that is the White House today!
We were promised to change for the better in 2016.
That promise has been broken.
(sighs)
I love this country.
I love the beautiful people that make up this country.
I love the diversity in this country.
And I promise you, I will not make America great again.
No.
We will make America
fucking awesome again!
(audience claps)
I'm Cherie DeVille, and I'm proud
to announce that I am running
for president of the United States of America in 2020.
(audience claps)
I'm already in the process of putting together
a team of like-minded people.
I would like to introduce you to a man
that changed my life.
Ladies and gentlemen, I would not be able to do this
without my choice for vice president
of the United States of America.
A Grammy award winning artist and a man
that continues to live the American dream!
I'm proud to call him a friend, Coolio.
(crowd claps)
- My fellow Americans I have to say
this is honestly something
that I thought would never happen.
But in life, as in politics, anything can happen.
I am truly the voice of the voices.
I've traveled every single state of this great country
and almost every country of this,
the mixed, diverse world.
And I've met great Americans and great people
from all walks of life.
All shapes, all sizes, all colors, and all beliefs.
And if we have this won, we can change the world,
we can better the world.
Hell, in 2020, we can shock the world!
(audience claps)
- Allow me to introduce to you
an international model
whose educational background
includes medical school.
Please welcome to the podium,
Ms. DeVille's choice for the future secretary of health,
Kennedy Summers.
(audience claps)
- I have been fortunate enough to travel the world
as an international model.
And during my travels I saw the state of health care systems
all over the world and some of them were
inspiringly good and others were just depressingly bad.
I would like to say that I am also on a personal mission
to get Americans back in shape.
This country's obesity rates are off the charts.
I just wanna say thank you so much for giving me the chance
to be here and letting me have the opportunity
to make America a better, healthier, and stronger country.
(audience claps)
- Ms. DeVille and Coolio have made it a priority
to maintain a positive relationship
with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
They have done this by naming a woman
whose specialty is foreign relations.
The country's next secretary of foreign relations,
Ms. Khloe Terae.
(audience claps)
I've traveled to 40 different countries
and explored the entire world
and have interacted with all sorts of people
and learned about so many different kinds of cultures.
I am a huge believer in Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
He has helped make America and Canada
closer than they've ever been.
I am confident that Canada and the United States
will stand together and will continue
to make this world a better place.
- Virgil was the body guard for the million dollar man
and a member of the NWO with the legendary Hulk Hogan.
Now, I'd like to bring up to the podium
for a quick word, our head of security, Virgil.
(audience claps)
- Thank you.
Thank you madame.
These two guys are the new tag team of politics.
and I can promise you that.
As for Donald Trump, everyone knows
me and him have history.
Okay?
I had Wrestlemania IV and V at Trump Plaza.
Okay?
So let's say me and Donald
broke a lot of breadsticks together at Olive Garden.
(audience claps)
Yeah, it's like that, okay.
They say everyone has a price.
And I'm will to pay the ultimate price.
That's my life.
Alright, in honoring to serve my country!
Thank you!
(audience claps)
- You sir.
- [Male Voice] Hi, Brendon Straub, Uprocks.
I'm wondering what your stance is on climate change.
- I feel like this has been sincerely mismanaged
in the current government.
Pulling out of the Paris Accord is a disaster.
I feel like America should not just be the leader
in military but should be the genuine leader
in renewable energy sources.
It is a disaster that one of the richest countries
in the world is so desperately far behind.
- We believe in universal health care
and every citizen deserves the right
to be healthy and have medical treatment
in this country without taking anything
from your pocket or your bank account.
You know, looking good is part of feeling good.
We're gonna call it Coolio Care.
(audience claps)
- [Male Voice] Yeah, question for Coolio.
Don't take this the wrong way, but is this a joke?
- You can tell by the answers, our answers
to your questions that it's serious.
We're making it fun, no doubt.
At the core of what we're doing, this is absolutely real.
- Thank you to everybody.
And I would like to prepare you
because we are getting ready to shock the world!
Together we plan on making America
fucking awesome again!
- Yeah.
(audience claps and cheers)
- Hi America.
I'm Cherie DeVille and I'm running for president.
For more information, visit PornstarForPresident.com
(news-type music)
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