Waching daily Aug 2 2017

My dad got me hooked on methamphetamines by giving me an IV shot.

We was at one of his friend's house and I walked in on him getting high,

told him I wanted to try it, and that's how it started.

I got pregnant when I was 19, 20, I had my daughter in prison.

The last few days before I was released from prison I had a lot of anxiety and

dealing with the guilt and not relapsing.

>> This is Aliea.

She's well acquainted with Oklahoma's criminal justice system.

During her most recent interaction, she spent one year in prison.

>> Walking out of prison, it was amazing, I felt free, you know?

Being able to walk out those gates and not have to look back.

My case managers were there to pick me up.

But you wanna walk out and your family be there, especially your children, but

it wasn't happening like that.

>> Branch 15 is a transitional living house, this is where I will be living for

the next year.

>> This is going to be your room.

>> I'm really nervous about everything,

about the other people, about messing up or not.

I'm just nervous about everything.

>> Since childhood, Aliea's been entangled in a cycle of drug addiction,

unstable family life, and incarceration.

And now, she wants nothing more than to break that cycle.

>> When I first started getting in trouble with the law was when I was 12,

that's when I started my addiction.

My mother had left me, my father was in and out of my life.

My dad started me on drugs.

I remember that day like it was yesterday, I was 12 years old, you know?

I was stripped from my childhood.

It was one thing, one thing after another just to get that drug.

>> This ought to be right here an easy job.

>> My dad got sent to prison because of drugs, he was cooking meth.

I thought he was cool cuz he went to prison, he was bad.

>> And I know you have a lot of guilt too.

I have a lot of guilt, but I don't judge you for it.

I don't hold it against you at all.

>> My life, it went downhill.

I was in and out of lockup.

And then when I turned 17, I was put in Oklahoma County Jail.

I stayed there for a year, and started all over again,

started my addiction all over again.

>> Pregnant by age 20, Aliea was high when she found out, and

once again she was in trouble for drugs.

The cycle starts again, but this time she ended up in prison,

terrified about what might happen to her unborn child.

>> It was embarrassing, it was real embarrassing.

Here I am, young, pregnant with my first child, I'm a drug addict.

They race me to the hospital.

I was there going through labor for 18 hours.

I was shackled to the bed, and we were pushing her out, and

I just started crying, like I was bawling.

I don't know it was tears of joy or

tears of fixing to have my daughter stripped from me.

They put her in my arms in the bed for a couple hours, and then they took her.

I was in prison for two years.

>> During that time, Aliea's grandmother took care of her child.

But when she was finally released.

>> I tried to bond with her, but every time I would pick her up,

she would scream and cry, and want my grandmother, so I felt rejected.

It was hard, it was real hard.

>> Unable to be the mother she never had, Aliea went back to what she knew, drugs.

When her grandmother eventually died,

she found herself ill prepared to raise her own daughter.

>> My daughter told me she hated me and I just let go.

>> The fact is Aliea's story isn't unique in Oklahoma.

The state has the highest rate of female incarceration in the country and

there's no signs of it slowing down any time soon.

In 2015, 64 out of every 100,000 women in the US were in prison.

Oklahoma more than doubled that with 151 women for every 100,000.

Experts point to the state's harsh drug laws and longer prison terms,

which are some of the most aggressive in the country.

Oklahoma uses prison over alternatives more often than other states,

with female incarceration projected to grow by 60% over the next ten years.

Similar to Aliea, 61% of female offenders that entered prison in 2013 were

assessed with the need for substance abuse treatment.

The cycle starts yet again.

>> In 2012, I was arrested, my daughter was put in foster care.

>> For years, she tried to get her daughter back, but was denied.

A year ago, she caught her latest charge and ended up behind bars.

Aliea has since found out that her daughter doesn't

want a relationship with her.

I worry about my daughter following in my footsteps a lot because I

followed my dad's footsteps.

September 12th, she'll be 12, and that's when my life went out of control.

I want to do whatever I can to prevent that.

If I could break the cycle with her, it would be amazing.

I get scared because I couldn't imagine my daughter being in prison.

This time is different because I know what I need to do to break

that cycle with my daughter.

I wanna be a family.

For more infomation >> Oklahoma's Female Prison Population Is Reaching Epidemic Levels | NBC Left Field - Duration: 5:57.

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Super Goddess Fridays: Dr. Pillai: Who Is The Goddess - Duration: 4:51.

Who, or what, is The Goddess?

She is both a 'Who' and an 'It'.

Who is an anthropomorphic form, which means a human form, because Gods are also like human

beings.

That's why the Bible says: 'God created human beings in His own form'.

There are forms. That is a very important thing that people in the 21st Century should

know because we are comfortable with an unmanifest, abstract concept of God, but not a God with a form.

So The Goddess has a form.

She is also an It — meaning she is Consciousness.

The Goddess term confuses us somewhat and does not fully state the impact and full concept

and manifestation of the Goddess.

In Sanskrit for instance, the Goddess is called Chit Shakti.

Chit means super-normal consciousness, a consciousness with which we do Miracles.

Out of which came Chitta which is the human mind.

All of us have only the human consciousness, mind consciousness, which is Chitta, whereas

The Goddess has Chit, which is the consciousness to do anything, and to know anything, and

to be anywhere, anytime.

So Chit helps you to know everything, to do everything, and to be everywhere.

You have this Chit also.

Both men and women have Chit also, within your consciousness, but then you only manifest

Chitta, not Chitt.

So you have to drop the Ah sound at the end. Then you get into The Goddess Consciousness,

both men and women.

Then with that consciousness, you'll be able to see The Goddess, and also live The

Goddess in your own consciousness, as someone who is capable of doing Miracles.

The Miracles are not possible because we live only Mind Consciousness.

That's why human life is ignorant.

Ignorance envelops about 95% of our brain, and our consciousness, that we cannot know

things. We cannot do things that we want to do.

So the purpose of knowing and also experiencing and living The Goddess means moving from mind

and sensory consciousness, to the Supernormal Consciousness of The Goddess, to be able to

do Miracles, to become super-human, or to become The Divine.

So The Goddess is also a person, maybe not the person that we see as human beings, but

as a Form, a Divine Form, that is not visible to human eyes, but can be seen through the

help of the Third Eye, through our intuition.

And She's also a power, the power of not only knowingness, but also the power engendered

in an energy that enables you to do.

So, The Goddess is both Consciousness of a higher kind, of a higher nature, and energy

of a higher nature, both together.