Questioner : If the transformation is not total...
unless there is a transformation of the very foundation...
there is always identification and suffering,
mind will always wander to the future and therefore to fear.
I observe the mind and realize that it is just a thought,
but I still don't feel that it dissolves in any way.
When you say that you realize that it is just a thought
Is this just another thought -" that mind is just a thought"
or a direct revelation?
Is it seen directly?
Is thought seeing itself as it is - a thought
or is it just creating an idea of "it being a thought"?
Mind has to see itself directly as a thought process.
It may take a while to reach that direct seeing.
It is natural to first go through that stage - of creating the idea, the image of that insight.
But that can not free mind from itself.
The "thinker" is still there,
it hasn't been exposed yet.
The moment thought sees itself as thought,
there is clarity.
And that clarity will spread and transform your reality in due time.
At the moment of that seeing, the structure of mind loses its grip.
As you speak now, allow the speaker to see itself, to investigate into its own nature.
Behind the speech there is the "you" as the speaker.
Can mind see into its own nature this very moment and reveal itself as a thought process only.
Then there will be silence.
Questioner : mind is saying only one thing : "I am ready to give up everything,
nothing really matters, but, don't let my child be hurt"
Who is that "I"?
It's not about the child
Questioner : when I hear you speak about letting go
It's not there.
Mind is looking on that field of experience
then it says : I have this and that
and here, that do not touch please....
All that is here, in that field, doesn't matter.
That matters.
Who is that one that "owns" all of that?
Can it investigate into its own nature?
Even if it would release the whole field, it would still be bound.
It would still preserve itself as the center.
Questioner : I don't care about letting go of myself
Who is saying that? Can it see itself this very moment?
Questioner : If I look inside, onto the fear
of losing control
I can see there is some territory which I can not let go off
Who is the one that can't let go?
The only question here is : who is the one to let or not let go off?
Who feels that it is "his", that he "owns" it?
Can attention be turned towards the nature of that one?
When you say "my child"
there is already an interpretation, a concept, an idea of "you" there.
Can that idea of you be seen as it is - an idea? a thought? an interpretation?
It's not a about letting go,
its only about clarity.
When there is clarity, there is no need to let go of anything.
Letting go implies two : somebody and something to let go off
But when there is clarity, where is the need to let go?
Questioner : what I mean by letting go is....that I don't feel there are any strong attachments....
but there are some places where.....
Just notice that "I"
from which the whole perspective you described sprouts
"My" life
It is in "my" life that the problem of letting go begins
Where does it all start from?
From where does that context arise?
Can that be seen?
Can the mind see itself - as it defines itself?
As it defines itself as the owner of life, as it interprets what "it has", what "it can let go or not" etc...
Can the very root of that structure be noticed, seen, exposed?
the very root of that "I" ?
What is the essence of that "I"?
Can that be seen?
Fearlessly.
Right this very moment.
That reality in which you may let go or not let go,
is already an interpretation of that "I"
That is what needs to be seen.
There is no question of "what to do" in that reality, it is an interpretation only
There is only the need of revealing the source of that interpretation,
how does that interpretation become reality?
Can we lit there?
Can we lit that initial confusion?
Questioner : I am trying to pay attention to my mind during the day
and I am constantly identifying and forgetting myself
I am losing myself to thinking while being busy with daily chores, just simple things....
Be careful when you say simple things,
it is already charged with complexity
Questioner : I only notice when I am already emotional
That is because the motivation there is stronger that the motivation for clarity
Questioner : Motivation to function?
It is not the functioning itself, it is the consequences of that functioning on the image of me, the idea of "I"
Functioning itself is always simple.
It is not the "I", there is just this sate of tension....
Tension is the very essence of "I"....
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