Hi mermaids, welcome back to my channel.
So, today we're going to be talking about the
policing of identities, um, particularly of those
that are bisexual.
[ocean sounds]
This is a bisexual makeup look, the look will
be up on Saturday.
I wanted to talk about this because it was something that was heavy on
my heart recently and I reached out to a couple
of people who were having the same struggles
that I was having, and yeah, we're just gonna talk
about it.
So: what is identity policing?
The definition of identity policing according
to myself is, "Telling someone what they can or cannot
identify as based on your own general perception of what you believe the identity's
definition is."
When you police someone's identity, you're basically telling them that
you know more about their own identity than they do,
which is really dangerous and not
really cool, so, we should probably stop doing that.
But, how does this affect the bi community and more so, why does it affect the bi
community?
So, the definition of bisexuality has changed over time because language has
changed.
So the original, quote on quote, definition of bisexuality was the attraction
to two genders -- we all know there are more
than two genders.
Basically, the original definition was, if I identified as a cis woman I could
only be attracted to other cis women and males.
This was back before, when trans, being trans was still labeled a disease, so, if we're
going to take that specific definition and bring it
up to modern speed...
A lot of people have argued that this definition is transphobic, however, trans
men and trans women are still men and women so, it's not really transphobic, even if you
are only attracted to men and women.
Trans women are women, and trans men are men, we need
to stop identifying people by their genitals,
becuase one, that's really disrespectful, and two, there
are intersex people in the world.
The new definition or the revised definition that a lot of the
people in the bi community are going by is,
"Bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders."
A lot of people have come to me and said, well
bi means two in the latin prefix, and I acknowledge that but at the same time, you
can't police me for my identity, you cannot tell
me that I cannot identify as bi, and that I should
identify as pan because that's disrespectful.
The way that I described this to my roommate Olivia was that I used this metaphor, "Let's
say there are seven genders, and I'm attracted to four of the seven genders, that means that,
that falls under the two or more category instead of all."
For me personally, I believe pansexuality is the attraction in spite of
gender, or attraction to all genders.
The thing about labels and identities is that, you choose
the one that fits you.
So, my definition of pansexuality might be different from someone
else's opinion of what pansexuality is but I
can't tell them that they're wrong.
Because that's their own opinion, that's their label,
that's what makes them feel at home.
I was also told this week that perhaps the bi community should
come up with another word to label the two or more definition, however, I feel like that's
disingenuous because I do believe the that the
term bisexuality has become kind of like a home
for me and you're basically telling me to leave my home.
Um, I know that the comments that were said towards me this week were not meant
in any mean way, but I just wanted to address them just in case any other bi people are
following me on this channel or on any of my
other platforms and wanted to have a conversation about it.
Robyn Ochs, had a definition of bisexuality, I probably pronounced
her name wrong, had a definition of bisexuality and it's one that I want to talk about, um,
it's um, she says, "I call myself bisexual because
I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted romantically and/or sexually
to people of more than one sex and/or gender not necessarily at the same time, or in the
same way, and not necessarily in the same degree."
This is a definition that I really respond to personally.
I find myself to be more sapphic at times to be more attracted to non binary
people, than men, or people who are hyper masculine, I would never label myself a lesbian
because I do still feel attraction to men.
I am still very much a bisexual.
And then, the whole why this is happening in the bi community
and in the LGBTQ+ community is biphobia.
Biphobia comes in many different forms, which could be a whole video all together, but here
are some of the examples of biphobia that I've collected from my own personal experience
and experiences of those who have come forth when I asked for stories.
A lot people hear, "But you're with a guy."
When bi people are in relationships with people of the opposite sex, there's this kind
of thing that happens with not understanding
that bi people don't necessarily choose.
And that we are still very much bisexual even when
we are in relationships with people of the opposite sex.
One of my friends was called a "fake bisexual" for dating a man.
And um, there's this idea of bisexuals being greedy or wanting
more than their fair share.
We're often seen as unicorns which brings up fetishization
of bi people by straight couples.
Um, you've seen it on Tinder, people saying, looking for a girl
to experiment with us on their profiles, things
like that.
We're not toys for straight people to play with or bring to their bedroom, um, and it's
very very dehumanizing, to have that be your only sense of contact with someone.
Back to the idea that bisexuality is inherently transphobic,
you're limiting someone by what you believe their genitals are which means you're
transphobic, so you should probably think about that.
People often shut down bisexuality for being slutty or promiscuous... um, I'm
still a virgin, so I would love to know who I've
been sleeping with, or who I'm being slutty with.
I would, I would love to know.
Another thing that bisexuals hear all the time is bisexuality
is a phase and you will eventually pick a side.
Um, this is not true, um, so stop telling people
this it's really disingenuous and disheartening.
And bisexuals do not have straight people privilege , I heard this a lot, especially
around pride month where people were saying that
bisexuals, because they're in relationships with
people of the opposite sex, that they could be
perceived as heterosexual couples and have straight privilege.
However, what they're failing to notice is that in order to have
straight privilege, we have to oppress ourselves.
We have to oppress the queer part of ourselves.
Meaning that it's oppression, there's no privilege in that.
There's no pride in feeling oppressed.
So yeah.
And then the other thing that has to do with biphobia is just a lot of gatekeeping from
both communities, from the straight and the
LGBTQ community, of bisexuals.
Biphobia itself can be an entire video, but those are kind of
the ways that people police bisexuals in the way that they identify.
This is just a short video to let you know to stop policing people and
the way that they identify.
If you identify in a certain way today
and decide that you want to identify in
a certain way tomorrow that's completely okay.
Our perceptions of ourselves are constantly changing, and there's nothing wrong with that.
You're not a fake gay for deciding that a different label fits you better or you find
a nicer house.
I like the house analogy because you could always find a better house.
I think that's everything, I might have skipped over
some things but yeah.
I hope you enjoyed that video mermaids, if you wanna be a part
of the mermaid kingdom all of my links are down
in the description.
If you're new here, my name is Jude and I make new videos every Thursday
and Saturday, with the occasional Monday video.
If you're not already subscribed to my channel, hit the subscribe button below.
While you're there, go ahead and hit the notification bell
so that you know whenever I upload.
Just keep swimming, siege nadando, I love you very
much, and I will see you on Saturday, bye! [blows kiss]
[music]
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét