Hot guy! Why the hell you wear the same clothes as me?
They are not the same. They are couple clothes.
Hot guy. If you don't stop flirting with me, you're responsible for turning me gay.
That's fine by me.
You! Don't say that you'll take care of me forever!
Of course I will!
Forever!
"My hot roommate is like venom" EP 01
If I were to commit suicide, would you burn the latest Hello Kitty model when the memorial day comes every year?
Are you dumb? I didn't buy you that even if you're alive!
Stop joking me! I'm really depressed now.
Lu Ji-Ji
Just shoot!
My roommate bought the same clothes as me.
Wearing the same clothes is not the problem but the person who looks ugly is embarrassing.
It's the hottest guy in school who bought it.
What are you waiting for? It's you who should return the clothes!
You're so mean! How can you say that?
What happened?
Still awake?
Aren't you the same?
I was going to sleep at first but I got scared by your face.
Yang Shi. Do you believe that I will punch you to the extent that you can barely recognize yourself?
I mean the cell phone light on your face is appalling.
Who are you to talk! You can scare the shit out of sleeping beauty if the light is on you!
Handsome guy, Ji Ji! You're the hottest guy in school!
Yeah, finally telling the truth
I will never wear the same clothes as you! Please forgive me!
Hey! Could you shut up?
You're damn annoying!
Give up?
The next course is from professor "Doomed."
The solution to the question is a theorem.
Hmm...Acting like he's so good at this.
Hot guy! Let me ask you something.
Say it.
What does the man think when he buys the same clothes as his roommate?
He doesn't recognize the style 'cuz it looks different on the website.
Hun! Try to bash me with your words?
Very nice! It's really Yang Shi's style.
Let me show you what I've got!
The student with glasses sitting on the 5th row. Could you tell us how to solve this question?
WTF! I don't even know the question.
Lu Ji-Ji, be a real man!
I'm not wearing the glasses now so it's not me.
What a fool.
I think the answer to this question is obvious.
We can solve this with different ways.
Two hours later.
Very good! Sit down, please.
Hey!
When does your conscience come back to you? Even buy me a treat?
If you feel touched, I don't mind you calling me daddy.
Pfft!
Hey, hot guy. Tell me about your high school life.
Handsome as usual.
I mean more specific. Like your relationship?
Relationship?
Yes!Yes!Yes!
None! The school is really strict.
Lying! I've heard that Cheng-Shuan from other class was at the same school as you.
If she could have a boyfriend, how come you didn't even have a girlfriend?
I did. When I was in junior high.
Then, I've never met a person I like.
That's the reason! You set your bar too high!
What about you? Don't tell me you like boys!
Bullshit! You really think I don't want a girl? I've been a back burner for a girl!
Back burner?
Yep! From the moment I like her till we graduate from high school.
Do you still like her?
Um...I..
I don't know. I can't even think about that.
So hot guy! Introduce some girl to me.
If you find somebody who's suitable for me, introduce me to her, helping me getting out of this back burner misery.
Look! Does my face look super red?
I think it's alright. Maybe it's too hot in the restaurant.
As for your lips, it's like somebody's bitten them.
You and me?
Wanna try?
Try your ass!
But then again, this alley is really suitable for a couple to kiss.
Really? Try it someday!
Ouch! It hurts!
I ate too much spicy food. It's killing me now.
Why isn't Lau San here? At least I can turn my attention away if he snores.
"Two tigers are in love, in love!"
"Both of them are male. Both of them are male. So freaky. So freaky."
Who are you calling freaky?
What's wrong?
Stomachache?
Yes..
You wait here. I'm gonna get you some medicine.
Take the medicine.
Thank you.
Damn! Why are you on my bed?
Let me warm your stomach.
I'n not a woman with period.
Just sleep.
If you get cold, don't blame me.
My stomach feels warmer. He is sweet.
It's getting much better without the pain.
You really had a lot of fun this afternoon!
What are you taking about? I have no idea.
You little bitch! You posted lots of my ugly pictures in our class group. I have a bone to pick with you later.
Damn! I'm freaking doomed! I have to go back with hot guy or my life will be in danger.
Up next is the performance from the hottest guy in school, Yang Shi!
Wow! Yang Shi! He's freak'n hot!
By the way, we're gonna have lucky draw later. The lucky person will have a secret present.
"My hot roommate is like venom" EP 02
Nice song choice and he sings well. He's really great.
That's my buddy!
If my buddy is excellent, that means I'm not bad either.
Ok! The result of the lucky draw is out.
We're gonna announce our lucky person now.
Hey! Get on the stage now!
Stop playing the game.
What? Why me?
You're the lucky one!
Holy shit!
Geez! I told you that a handsome guy is much luckier.
Ugh..Why does it feel not right?
What the fuck are you doing here?
Am I the one who hit the jackpot?
Yes...you are..
Ok. Let's congratulate this student. He will be awarded..
A chance of kissing the hottest guy in school, Yang Shi!
What the fuck is this shit?
Not money? Not a present? But a fake kiss with a guy?
I'm gonna fucking give you full marks for this creative idea....
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
They're playing it big...
At least it's Yang Shi; otherwise, I'm gonna bomb this auditorium .
Why are you here?
I got tricked by Lau Shan.
Hot guy. How much did they pay you to sell your sex?
Did I tell you the chairman is my cousin?
My 3-year-old naked picture is in his hand...
So I have no choice.
Be real?
Thank god it's a fake kiss.
It won't hurt you if it's real.
Ji Ji: My...My....My mouth is extremely smelly after having Chinese leeks.
It's leeks!!!
Lu Ji-Ji, are you getting angry with me?
No. I just having doubts about my life now...
Alas, at least it's Yang Shi you kissed.
By the way, did they have a real kiss or a fake one?
Get out!
Pfft, I'll go!
I finally hooked up a girl for a date tonight!
Yang Shi
Ugh...I have to go now..
Ji Ji, about the thing that happened on stage...
Don't comfort me! I just gotta collect myself now. Just leave me alone.
You think it's gross?
No! I just need to think about how stupid I was
It's all good if you're not hating me.
Firstly, I shouldn't have thought I'm that good looking to hit the jackpot
Secondly, don't trust someone who you've tricked before.
Thirdly, why did the hot guy and I have to kiss for real??
And why did I, who is so straight, feel so nervous when kissing him?
The weirdest thing is why did I care so much about the leeks smell in my mouth?
It's definitely because it's my first kiss and I'm not used to it. It will get better!
What the fuck! It's getting ridiculous now.
School Forum Headline: "Exclusive! The boy and boy kiss of the hottest guy in school!"
Reply:Who is that freakin' cute and silly uke? Which department is he from?
Reply: The uke is hot guy's roommate and classmate. Don't thank me!
Reply:WOW! What are the chances! They are destined to be together!
Reply: I've imagined an 100 thousand words bl novel in my mind.
WTF!
This is not real! NO! It's not real!
What? "Such a cute uke! I wanna bite his lips"
Who gives you the right to bite me? You're the fucking uke! Not me!
It's time to reveal the truth.
Reply: The uke you're talking about is straight and he's not silly! He's so manly!
So many replies...
Reply: OMG! That's freakn' cute! We catch the real person!
Fuuuck! I'm damn stupid! I forgot to change to another account...
Reply: I can assure you guys that he's really straight in person and he's not silly and cute. If you don't believe me, just click here for proof!
Good! Finally a good person who helps me.
Reply: I guess the silly and cute uke will click and see this! Don't be shy! Just admit it and enjoy it!
Holy shit!
Sleep!
My goodness! Not again!
"Who is that couple? The seme's eyes are so caring!"
It's getting ridiculous now. The hot guys must know that we are on the headlines for being a CP.
Wait a second! Won't he look down on me for being a CP with me, will he?
I don't think he will 'cuz I'm handsome and bubbly!
If he dare to look down on me, he got another thing coming.
I am totally suitable for him!
Hmm? Why do you stop eating?
Hot guy. What should we do if we become famous?
You mean the things on the school forum and many websites?
Yep
Even some people are writing the bl story between us..
What do you think?
I don't mind but I'm afraid you're gonna be mad.
You don't mind it?
Nope!
It's my advantage when people putting us together 'cuz you're way hotter than me.
If a dumb straight like you won't care, why will I care?
The truth is a handsome and bubbly guy like me won't be belittled by the hottest guy in school.
Quick! Let's eat! My treat!
Silly boy.
Ha! My mom calls me! Finally I don't have to eat buns every day.
Daughter, aren't you cold there?
Don't call me daughter! I'm the your son, Lu Ji-Ji!
Daughter! Why don't you speak?
Mom, I feel quite good. The temperature is quite warm here. When will you transfer the money to my account?
Damn..Another mommy lecture begins.
OK! I will!
One hour later...
Finally done...
You seem pretty close to your mother.
Her son is too handsome for her to hang up the phone.
Hot guy! Why don't you call your parents?
There's no reason to call.
Does he not get along with his parents?
I'm pretty sure it's the reason.
Regularly, hot guys always have sad stories.
Is this silly kid worried about me?
What are you thinking?
I have to encourage him with good words!
Hot guy. I think parents still love us even if they are busy.
You can still call them. I don't think they're gonna be annoyed by this.
Are you worried about my family for your future with me?
Get lost! Who gives a damn about your love!
Angry?
Not exactly. Just...
We all have some secrets we don't wanna talk.
My mom is gone in a car accident.
I haven't really got along with my father. Hot got married again when I was a senior in high school.
Then, he just regularly transfers the money to me and I call him to check the money.
Don't worry! You still have me. If you call me daddy, I'll give you the love of a father.
You mean the love from a 4 fts 11 inch guy?
You wanna get hit?
Come! Hit me!
Restroom....Where is the restroom?
WTF! I finally bump into a live sex show!
Wait a second....It doesn't sound right.
The voice are from two men!
I have to organize my thoughts before post it on school forum. Maybe the post will go viral!
Shit!
It's Yang Shi asking me why I'm not back yet. It's faster if he uses the bucket to save me from the toilet.
Everything is fine. Some people are having fun!
OMG! It's from someone I know...
Finally finished?
I have to go 'cuz people are doing something I can't describe.. I can't stay here anymore.
Aren't you afraid you can't control yourself as well?
I'm not!
Fine. Let's go.
"My hot roommate is like venom" EP 03
Ji-Ji! I'm gonna.... cum!
Holy cow!
What's going on?
I got a wet dream?
And with the him?
Shit!.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
Don't I turn gay, do I?
I can't let this happen! Just distract my focus from him!
Sha Su-Yang, I call you out to comfort me but why the hell you bring me here?
The final exam is getting closer
What bugs you? Or just get horny and wanna have sex?
Pfft!
Hey! Recommend me some movies for your daddy!
No detective and horror films 'cuz the hot guy is so smart that he can easily break the code.
You and hot guy? The only genre for you to watch is gay porn.
You know me how straight I am! How can you say that!
The only straight thing you do is that you like Lin Jin. I can't see other things you do can be described as straight.
I did like her but not anymore.
Then, you're over! You are not straight anymore.
Since you don't like her anymore, let me tell you what happened to her recently.
What?
Nothing special.
After breaking up with a rich guy, she found herself pregnant and asked for money from him.
That man doesn't recognize it so they are still quarreling. The whole school knows their shits.
Let me tell you! The fake girl is pretty vulnerable now.
So it's great possibility that she will call her back burner to comfort her.
Our schools are close. Remember to ignore her when she calls you.
That fake bitch is the one I can't endure.
Sadly, we're in the same school and the same major!
Don''t even try to find her!
If you want to comfort her when seeing her, I'm gonna explode!
Done! I'm gonna be back and prepare for the finals.
I won't call her.
I'm pretty close to be with a hot guy, why would I want her?
Are you there?
How's it going, Ji Ji? If you're available, have a talk with me?
You're finally here
Yes.
This back burner is completely different.
Maybe I'm not good at other things but being a fake person is my strong part.
We haven't talked in ages!
Yes. You've changed a lot.
Damn! The coffee is so bitter..
This is horrible compared to the lemonade hot guy gave me.
Lu Ji-Ji, some people can only learn how to cherish the real love after losing the true love.
Ji Ji, I...
Jesus! How can she cry in a minute?
It's wasted not to be a actress.
Ugh...Don't cry...
What a retard! I have to wipe the tears for you?
I know that already! Whatever happens, you'll always by my side.
Although I'm not into you anymore,
you're still the girl I chased before.
I don't believe it! Let's start again!
No!No!No!
You have your own happiness...
Shit!
Ji Ji, you must feel uncomfortable now.
I happened to book a hotel around here.
Let's go!
Holy shit! She even booked the hotel!
That's why she waited here for me.
Let's go, Ji Ji.
OMG...This woman is really strong!
Let's go, Ji Ji.
Help! Help! How can I get rid of her?
Ji Ji, you seem pretty muscular now.
That's because I hit the gym quite often.
You're so charming right now.
Hey! Yang Shi!
What's wrong, Lu Ji Ji?
Finally I can get rid of her.
Finally awake?
What time is it?
2' O'clock in the afternoon
What! Didn't we say we're going to the movies?
It's over now.
Hungry? Come down and eat.
Ok.
Just eat. I have take outs for the meals I've already ordered.
I'm sorry, Yang Shi. It's all my fault.
Because of me, we missed the your Christmas arrangement.
What?
Are you angry?
No. Just Christmas. Nothing special.
Then, why you seem so upset?
What happened to you yesterday?
Ah!
Just...a female friend who is unhappy so I comfort her.
You're so kind.
Ok! Ok! Actually, I met the girl I used to like.
The one who let you be her back burner?
Yes. She wanted me to be her real boyfriend now.
Also the father of her unborn child.
I ran away.
Am I smart?
Lu Ji-Ji, are you really that relentless or are you just enduring everything?
Why looking at me? Just eat the food!
Let me ask you a question!
Ok. Just ask.
If...I say if.
you had to choose one to meet your parent between her and me, who would you choose?
What a boring question.
If you had to?
If my mom asked me to get married, I'd choose her.
However, it's not exactly like that in reality.
So you would choose me?
Yep
Let's hang around!
Are you kidding me? A haunted house?
Christmas and a haunted house is a perfect match.
Scared?
Who said I'm scared! I'm not!
Hold on tight! Don't get lost.
Ah!!!!!!!!!
Shit! No one tell me it's a haunted house with real persons disguised as ghosts.
Dragging hot guy's leg and screaming all the way through...How embarrassing can I be?
So embarrassing!
Here is your milk. Calm yourself down!
Hot guy, did you feel afraid?
So sad I can't comfort you in the house..
If I had went into the house only myself, maybe I'd have been afraid.
You won't feel afraid with a daddy like me around you!
This is the power of a man.
You said so.
Have you ever thought about being a singer?
Singer?
Yes. You sound like Vitas in the haunted house.
What else can you do besides being sour?
Being sour to a donkey( Lu sounds the same as donkey in Chinese)
You won!
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