Waching daily Mar 24 2018

both the daughter in law and mother in law are good but their relationship is not good at all in between them

there are the different level of our life and the one is Environment. how do we understand our Environment?

second things which come after environment is behavior. How we behave in that environment?

how do you behave in that environment?

after the behavior comes capabilities. what are your capabilities?

capabilities means Power to do something

and hereafter comes your belief and values. what are your belief and values?

the belief you all now that something you believe to be true

next comes the Identity. Identity means your recognition and then comes the Purpose. purpose means why are you doing something? what do you want to achieve?

Pay attention to it. are you learning these level so far?

environment level means how is my environment?

behavior means how is my behavior in this environment?

after this comes capabilities, it means what are my capabilities?

what I can do and what can't

after this comes belief and values. what are my beliefs?

what is my identity?

are you getting it?

and after all these comes Purpose

understand this. these are called Neurological levels.

einstein also said something you might have read it somewhere

"No problem can be solved with the same level of thinking with which it was created"

that means any problem cannot be solved with the same level of thinking with which it was created

you will have to upgrade your thinking

this is called Gregory Bateson model. this is a NLP concepts

when the Gregory Bateson developed this model.

he said "it is not necessary that if you make the changes in the low level of your neurological level it will affect the upper level

conversation with participants

I respect these concepts because these concepts give the clarity of the behavior and perceptions of the people

now the all these things

he says that if you change the environment of some peson

or behavior. that means if you work on the low level of that person

it is not necessary that there will be a change on the upper level

but if you make change on the upper level so there will be the change on the lower level of that also

suppose you are doing a business and your environment is not supportive for you

are you getting it? in comparison to it, your environment is so much supportive

but none of these guarantee you that you can change your purpose of belief

but the thing which will matter is your purpose, why are you developing that business

what is your identity in your own sight

what do you want to build? are you learning it?

and these things will play role

when it comes to marriage, how many years a girl lives in her previous home?

in range of 20 to 25 years on an average

so, she is living in an environment for 20 to 25 years

and her identity in this environment now is Daughter. that means she is daughter now

at the moment she is got married, she gets out from this environment

and the only thing which was changed is her environment

at the change of the environment you expect her identity to be changed from daughter to be daughter in law

I don't know much to write in hind and that's the bad thing

understand this, You just transferred her from one family to another

and you are expecting of her behavior, capability, belief and value, identity and purpose to be changed

that means by just changing the things below you are expecting the things above to be changed

all those above things of her were developed in 25 years

are you learning the depth of this concept I am trying to tell you?

are you understanding that how great challenge is this!

you just changed the environment of her and you are expecting her behavior and else to be changed

the one who was behaving like a daughter till now may behave like daughter in law

why? because this is your Mother in law

understand this, this mother in law is living in this home for 20 to 25 years

in those 25 years, what is the identity of this mother in law?

family head, family leader, she was the daughter in law of that house for last 25 years

learning it so far?

(conversation with participants)

the main challenge is between the mother in law and daughter in law

the new mother in law was the daughter in law of this house till now

she has developed the behavior, capabilities and belief and values of daughter in law in these 25 years

getting it?

when she becomes the mother in law as she gets the daughter in law

she thinks that the daughter in law doesn't have her behavior and forgets that she adopted this in 25 years

she thinks why doesn't she has the capability,behavior and belief as she has?

learning it?

if the both get this understanding and this relationship becomes purpose driven

this purpose is not the rule, and life is not gonna live by the rules of mother in law

life is in center that we have to keep our overall life

and after that is all these things keep aligned, give her sufficient time

if consider this thing that she was a daughter till now and it will take time for her to shift her identity

you will have to support her

only then there will be the transformation