whenever people fail to achieve their goals 99.9% of time you ask him why
they'll tell you it's because of a lack of resources that's what all these
things are I didn't have the support right I didn't have the money we didn't
have the time we didn't have this we never that there's a resource that
people believe is missing and that resource belief structure then keeps
people from ever being able to really lead because what leaders do is they
find a way to maximize whatever resources they have have littles they
maybe and they don't believe in limited resources I'll give you an example take
a business example to start with in 1974 I can't even saw him Walton had built
his little company up he capable that idea started with $20,000 and I think in
1962 if I remember right but by 1974 within 12 years he had 78 stores and you
know I did it in the middle of the night he drive across border and he'd go and
study other people's stores he buy everything the cheapest he could in the
middle of the night he'd go to the people's stores whatever was working he
figured out success leaves Clues he came back and did it in his store whatever
was working in any store in any competitor anywhere he could do it he
did it so he forgot to maximize the little
resources he had his twenty thousand built 78 stores and if you read any of
the people following him the company's gone public in that year they were all
saying this is it he's maximized his resources I mean only have so much money
there's only so many cities that are gonna appeal to this discounting
mentality right this is it this is all he can do and the word of Wall Street
was self now what's interesting is at that time you look at Sears and Kmart
and they were a gargantuan companies weren't that 20 30 40 50 times a hundred
times his size or more probably and at that time they were the leaders and they
knew what's gonna happen but two things change yes or no did he suddenly get
mass amounts of capital no here's what they didn't understand Sam Walton now or
the Walton organization Walmart is the most successful retailing operation on
earth and when you talk about Bill Gates being the richest man in the world
that's only true because Sam's fortune has divided up amongst a bunch of
different family members you put them together they dwarf bill gay
Sam Walton did this how did he do it what people underestimated is that this
guy could go to 4,400 stores do 250 billion
where's Kmart today and they've been shrinking all women shrieking and he's
the dominant force on earth here's the thing he understood resources are
interesting but the ultimate resources are the feelings of emotion that make
you resourceful think of it this way resourcefulness is the ultimate resource
what do I mean what are the emotions that make all this possible what's the
fuel that takes an idea from being in your head when you wouldn't you'll
actually know what to do how many got an idea for example was a great idea you're
excited about it and then you didn't do anything one day there you saw it on the
Shelf you saw it somewhere someone stole your idea how many had this happened say
I the only one seeing you and that person was not that they had more
resources they were more resourceful when people are beset with a catastrophe
like let's say the death of their father that they are prone to use that as an
excuse for not going about the business that they should be going about because
they can say to themselves well I would accept and accept there's always good
reasons I mean believe me there's always good reasons for not doing what you
should that's for sure the reasons pile up day after day to not do what you
should especially because you're you're aiming at things in the future you can
put them off and definitely right because of the demands of the day like
there's no excuse whatsoever for not getting at what it is that you should be
doing it's absolutely reprehensible to justify you're in action with a
catastrophe that extracts mercy from other people right there's a tricky
tricky game that's going well of course I can't do that look at the terrible
thing that's just happened to me it's see how okay I understand you're
absolved of any necessity to move forward because of your current
catastrophe it's like well actually you're not and it's rather rude of you
to use it as an excuse and it's certainly counterproductive the bravery
and discipline to say no to you to your many good opportunities what destroys a
great company is actually opportunity bloating
too many good opportunities so literally you diffuse your team's bandwidth and
you get distracted you see with so many companies right now they they sort of
found their sweet pocket and they were absolutely winning in their marketplace
and they decided to go hmm we've got this app that is really changing the
game and owning the marketplace let's get into food delivery let's get into
this let's get into that it happened to General Electric as well and you
probably know they decided at one point if we can't be one or two in any market
we're gonna get out of that market that's the key point I'm trying to make
no you're mighty mission no your monomaniacal focus and then have the
discipline to say no to everything else so you can lock and load on your finest
opportunity to completely change the game it was 25 or so I probably weighed
about 138 pounds I smoked like a pack of cigarettes day I drank tremendous amount
of alcohol I was from northern Alberta this rough little town up and northern
Alberta called Fairview and you know there were long winters there and my
friends were heavy drinkers and most of them dropped out of school by the time
they were 15 or 16 went off to work on the oil rigs and you know it was a rough
town and we drank a lot I started when I was 14 and you know and so I was I had a
lot of bad habits let's say and things that were and I wasn't in great shape
physically and I was also still intellectually obsessed by as I am now
and so that would have been that would have been in 85 but when I but I decided
around that about 85 84 or something like that maybe a little earlier that I
was really going to try to get my act together and so I started doing that I
you know I first of all I quit smoking well that took a long time because I
eventually had to quit drinking to in order to quit smoking and I started
working out starting playing sports which I'd never done I had a fine town
when I was a kid and but I needed really to get disciplined and I
had to do it because I was working on these hard problems that you know that
I've been discussing with all of you and I've been working on them
really you know obsessively since I was probably about 18 maybe even earlier not
got to the point around 25 when I was in graduate school trying to get my PhDs
doing all my research that guy published 15 papers by the time I graduated with
my PhD which was by I think by a fairly large measure the most papers that any
graduate student at that time had ever published at McGill I think that's right
might have been twice as many or maybe twice as many maybe even three times as
many and at the same time I wrote maps of meaning which was a terrible terrible
terribly difficult thing to do because I was writing about three hours a day
doing that and I couldn't do all that and continue with my misbehavior you
know my sort of my what would you say my why my hedonistic my hedonistic my
massive hedonistic consumption of alcohol and all of that I just couldn't
keep it up and also work seriously on the issues that were at hand so you know
I had to stop that's a sacrifice I had to stop I'm the kind of person that
believes you should always make decisions with your heart and soul you
can use your brain for math you can use your brain to look at the fine print in
a contract but when it comes to the actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward and check it against your heart and soul how do you do that
here's the simple test does the decision that you're about to make expand you
expand your future or expand the possibilities of your life if the answer
is yes then the decision is yes no matter how terrifying it is if you
conversely look at the choice that you have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it shrink me
does it open possibilities or does it keep things
does it raise my voice or does it silence me right is that there's always
a short-term and a long-term impact to the decision the short-term impact to
making an expansive decision a decision that's based in your heart in your soul
sometimes it's terrifying because sometimes it means moving or it means
changing a job or changing a relationship or having a difficult
conversation or starting something new and those sorts of things are always
uncomfortable so brace for impact put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best life comes from because you're living
for what's true for you you're actually tougher than you think you never knew
that and maybe you didn't want to take on the responsibility because you know
people play a role in their own demise so to speak when you had opportunity to
go out and explore or withdraw because you were afraid you chose to withdraw
because you were afraid so it's not only that you were over protected often it's
that you were willing to take advantage of the fact that you were over protected
and run back there whenever you had the opportunity you know so maybe you're a
kid in the playground right and you're having some trouble with other kids and
you know in the back of your mind I should deal this with deal with this
myself but you go and tell your mom and get her to intervene and you know that
that's not right you know that you're breaking the social contract but it's
easier and so that's what you do you run off to an authority figure and hide
behind the great father right roughly speaking well the problem with that is
you don't learn how to do it yourself so then you have to relearn it painfully
when you're 40 so then you take people out you say well what are you afraid of
rank it from 1 to 10 so 10 is what make a list of 10 things you're afraid of the
least the thing you're least afraid of will call number 10 so we'll start with
that okay well I'm afraid of elevators ok
well let's let's look at a picture of an elevator let's have you imagine being in
an elevator let's go out to an elevator and let you watch the terrible jaws
of death open because that's how you're responding to it symbolically right and
you're gonna do that at it at the the closest proximity you can manage you
find out you go do that it works you're nervous as hell especially an it from an
anticipatory perspective shaking you go out you stop you watch it happen and you
actually calm down you do that ten times it no longer bothers you well what
you've learned that you didn't die but more importantly than that you've
learned that you could withstand the threat of death that's what you've
learned and then you move a little closer and then you move a little closer
and then you move a little closer and finally you're back in what's no longer
the elevator from a symbolic perspective it's a tomb right it's it's it's a place
of enclosure and isolation and you learn hmm turns out I can withstand that and
then you're met much more together much more confident and that's often one of
the things that often happens in situations like that I've seen this
multiple times is that if you run someone through an exposure training
process like that and and toughen them up they'll often start standing up to
people around them in a way they never did before
Oh Gerber the guy that wrote the e-myth you know talks about why so many
businesses young businesses fail and one of these things he says is most people
are not really entrepreneurs but they think that's what they should be they
think that's the sexy thing that's the most attractive thing that's the best
answer and what I say to you is you've got to separate the vehicle from the
outcome what is it that's gonna truly fulfill you what is it that's gonna give
you that extraordinary life what's gonna make things magnificent on your terms
not somebody else's terms not your father your mother your background what
is that really separate the vehicle there's many ways to get to that vehicle
but I'm saying sometimes you got to reevaluate what's gonna really make you
fulfill what is your gift are you an artist are you the talent that can
produce something no one else produces as a skill or a product or a service or
some impact are you incredibly good at management
you really know how to manage or lead people are you an extraordinary
entrepreneur that has can take that gigantic gut load of risk and can create
the vision and attract the talent that you need and the managers and leaders
you may have all three abilities but which one really fulfills you the most
is gonna be the critical question because we tend to want to do them all
especially the room like this because you're all overachievers right me too
and you say well I can do all these yes you can but what will it do to your
quality of life see again the secrets gonna be this what is an extraordinary
life on your terms today I remember being in Soho New York and I walked into
one of the stories and I bought a coat and I was leaving on an airplane for
home later that day and I asked the person who was taking care of me I said
is it possible that's a great respectful way to ask for something is it possible
to get this coat hemmed and adjust it a little bit for me and he and and I said
the thing is that I'm leaving later today and he looked at me and I've never
forgotten it because we all have these people in their lives who say one thing
or show up in a certain way and they stay with us for the rest of their lives
and he said to me these words he said it I'd love to do that for you I'd love to
do that for you and again the whole brain type - I'm trying to deconstruct
here is make your I can larger than your IQ you know I remember being in Prague
and I asked someone on the other again I spent a lot of time in hotels and I said
is it possible to do this and here was the reply on the other end of the phone
I think was someone from the front desk or maybe it was room service and I try
to eat as clean as possible so probably it was a request could I
have olive oil and fresh lemon or lemon as the salad dressing and here's the
reply and just really lovingly and respectfully and hopefully fluently and
elegantly bring this leadership inside home to you I said is this possible and
is a reply anything is possible so it's really easy
to get seduced and stuck into a mindset of can't you know someone says let's
start a new business someone says here's a great poetic project that if we
release it to the world will help us own our marketplace and it sounds very
obvious again but ask yourself this is your default reply a symptom of a
mindset of Kant or do you have a mentality of possibility when someone
says here read this book do you shift into Kant or can when someone says hey
you know what I'm amped to run a marathon you'll go I can't is that your
default setting in your neurobiological hardwiring or do you go absolutely or
I'd love to do this you know it's really really important and that is one of the
core distinctions of leadership isn't it success and failure are not giant events
they don't just show up you'll just suddenly become successful or suddenly
have this cataclysmic event that makes you fail they look that way but failure
cut them and some all the little things it's failure to make the call it's
failure to check the books its failure to say I'm sorry
it's failure to push yourself to do things physically that you don't want to
do and all those little failures day after day come together until one day
some Cataclysm event happens you blame that that event happened because you
missed all the little stuff do you agree with me and success by the way is not
some overnight event it's all these little things success is having a vision
success is making it compelling success is really seeing it feeling it every day
was strong enough for reasons success he is feeling the sense that I'm here to
grow and I'm here to give something to the world more than just myself all the
little stuff that's where success comes from in business it comes from
delivering more than anybody could imagine all those little things add up
people go wow that's who I want to do business with very great hero was broken
if you were look at Nelson Mandela he suffered more than most people if you
look at mother Teresa she went through Incred
adversity over the course of her journey if you were to study Mahatma Gandhi
Nelson Mandela Rosa Parks Shakespeare and Tolstoy if you look at any great
artist a Picasso jean-michel Basquiat if you look at the great world builders
they all suffered let me put it to you this way with great love and respect
they all out suffered the majority and what I'm suggesting to you is pain can
be transformed into power with the intention to transform pain into power
you see what most people do is this is why most good people lose they stumble
and they fall and they become heartbroken or disappointed by life's
challenges that happens to every single one of us I mean just to be very
authentic as I always want to be in these mastery sessions episodes I've
gone through a lot of hardship in my life when I was you know going through
school very few people believed in me and I was dismissed and called very very
average and the principal at the school I was at said you're not even gonna get
into University and you might know my backstory on the monk who sold his
Ferrari but that was a self-published book and I was at the American
Booksellers conference in Chicago with a cover of one of my books over my around
my neck shaking hands with all the agents that were coming up the escalator
and when I was a self-published author and I used to go into bookstores and say
would you take three copies of my book I'll sign them could you put it on the
shelf and I was treated rudely and I was laughed at and I was on radio shows and
I was ridiculed and then I've gone through a lot of personal pain in my own
life and I've been on the top of the mountain of victory and I must tell you
I have walked the lonely path in the darkness in the valley of darkness but
Rumi the great philosopher said it so
beautifully he said allow your heart to be broken over
over and over until it opens and what I'm suggesting to you is really to dial
into this insight all great heroes have been broken but rather than blaming 27
years in imprisonment in the case of Nelson Mandela rather than blaming his
naysayers and his detractors in the case of of mahathma gandhi rather than saying
life is hard wiesen isn't greatness easy in the case of a mother Teresa or Martin
Luther King jr. rather than saying why did this happen to me in the case of
Rosa Parks who refused to give up her seat to someone on a bus because she was
being treated like a second-class citizen because of the color of her skin
these great ones all had one thing in common they leveraged their pain and the
power they turned their tragedies into victories
if you concentrate solely on your career you can get a long way in your career
and I would say that that's a strategy that a minority of men preferentially do
that that's all they do they worked like 70 80 hours a week they go flat out on
their career they're staking everything on the small probability of exceptional
status in a narrow domain but it's it's hard on them they don't have a life it's
very difficult for them to have a family they don't know how to take any leisure
activity like they get very one-dimensional now it may be that that
unit dimensionality is the price you have to pay to be exceptional at one
thing right because if you're gonna be something like a genius level
mathematician and you want to do that for a scientist say it's like you're in
your lab you're in your lab all the time you're working 70 hours a week or 80
hours a week you're smart you're dedicated your unit dimensional and
that's how you get to beat all the other people who are doing that it's the only
way but the problem is you don't get a life now if you love being a scientist
and you have that kind of focus of mind well first of all you're a rare person
and second you gonna pay for it but find more power to
you but but it's a it's a risky business to do that you sacrifice a lot for it
you know and I would say most often if you're speaking about having a healthy
life that isn't what you do you spread yourself out more so you know you have a
family you have some things that you do outside of work that are meaningful to
you and useful you you have a network of friends that that those three things a
loner four things alone are plenty to keep you well oriented and then if one
of those things collapses you know everything doesn't go now the
price you pay for that is the more you strive to optimize that balance the less
likely you are to be fantastically successful at any single one of them but
you might have a very you know if you consider your life as a whole that might
be a winning strategy leverage is critical you know I get so much done cuz
I don't just get it done I know the outcome I know the purpose and I look
for leverage leverage is different than delegation what's problem with
delegation delegation is you I've always needs to be done so you give it to
someone else and you tell them it needs to be done
and they don't do it you're pissed off leverage says I can move the biggest
Boulder in the world with a little bit of effort if I get something I can do it
with and I'm still part of it so leverage it is if I'm gonna leverage
something you were Tom I'm gonna make sure Tom understands the what the
outcome I wanna make sure Tom understands the the purpose the why and
the action but I might say to Tom if you get this done without this action or
better actually go for a baby and I want to talk to you on this date we got a
promise and we're gonna check in before it's needed so there's no surprises if
you have the problems Tom come back to me because we're partners on this that I
call leverage and you know what I do when I have no time there is time I just
got to leverage it now saying sad no no leverage YouTube
you know Shane over here right I know stuff he wants to do can't leverage it
but Shane's answer was hire somebody many thinks about what its gonna take
and goes 125,000 dollars can't do that now he's getting caught up
in one way to get the outcome leverage Yoshi was listening goes what if I got
someone who twenty percent of this stuff I got I could spend 20 grand to get that
much freedom I can pay four times ten and if I really productive my
productivity should enhance the world ballet my clients and customers but it
should provide jobs for other people and if there's anything you hate to do it's
because you're either ineffective at it or you don't think it's very important
but it is urgent so you hire somebody for those things and ideally somebody
who loves that job you're never gonna grow when your time is eating up for
activities that aren't that important activity without high levels of purpose
is the drain of your fortune do it now then he can't get it all about you a
part of it now leverage is power it was the night it was the night before we
were putting drywall in our house we were redoing a house and he had put in
all the plastic piping you know and I was gonna test the joints steel are
supposed to be glued together with his pipe glue right and I said I told him I
had to test the joints and he said well you don't have to test my joints they
never leak and I thought yeah that's okay how about if I test them so I went
up on the third floor and filled the pipes with water capping them in the
basement like you're supposed to and like half an hour later I had two inches
of water in the basement there were thirty leaking joints that was the night
before the drywallers were supposed to show up so well so he wasn't
particularly competent that's the point of that story but even more so he had
put a bunch of the plastic pipe outside where the drywall would be so it would
have been sticking through the wall so I spent a frenetic night you know sawing
through plastic pipe and reglue in joints so that my well so that the dry
rollers could come in what's the point if you're going to be a plumber man be a
good plumber because otherwise all you do is go out there and cause trouble we
don't need people to cause more trouble we need people to solve problems you
know and so you can be a tradesman and you can be to make a lot of money as a
trades person it's a bloody reliable honorable forthright productive way of
making a living and there is a hell a lot of difference between a working
man who knows what he's doing and one who doesn't both in terms of skill and
ethics right and you work with someone who knows what they're doing it's a
bloody pleasure they tell you what they're gonna do they tell you how much
it will cost they go and do it it works and you pay them perfect everyone's
happy and that's what happens when you have genuine hierarchies of competence
and so you to listen to these panderers of egalitarian al Geller egalitarianism
and equity and they fail to recognize completely that there are differences in
rank between people it's not such a terrible thing man
maybe you wouldn't be a great lawyer like it's certainly possible most people
aren't but that doesn't mean there isn't something you could be great at there's
lots of hierarchies to attempt to climb and if you fail in one go try in another
but the point is you're still trying to aim for the top and what the hell are
you gonna do if you don't try to aim for the top you know flap about uselessly
and whine about your life it's not helpful it'll just make you miserable
you're not reliable to anyone you can't help out in a crisis it's like so you
tell young people and this is another message for conservatives like I don't
care what you're gonna do but go out there make something of yourself for
God's sake be an honest person and work and get to the top of whatever it is
that you want to get to the top of you know and and and and that you stand up
for yourself like a respectable human being and be a bit of a light on the
world instead of a blight you know and you can tell young people that and they
haven't been told that by anyone now and so the young men are so hungry for that
that it's it's painful to watch they're so relieved when finally someone
finally comes up and says hey you know you get your act together a bit
discipline yourself see if you can learn to tell the truth concentrate on
something for a year or two you could be a bloody world beater they think really
that's possible Wow that would be that would be interesting that might make
life or life worth living it's like yeah it might so why don't you go do it
that's what the damn universities we're supposed to be teaching people they've
forgotten that I went to Harvard month ago month and a half used to teach there
and I talked to a bunch of students you know and I told them it's not easy to
get into Harvard you know like you're a valedictorian if you're at Harvard and
no are you a valedictorian you're way
better than most people at at least two other things or you don't get in and so
that gets I don't know what the acceptance rate is like 5% and believe
me not everybody applies so it's a very selective school and so why am I saying
that it's like these are high quality kids so I told them what I just told you
it's like here you are at Harvard so get yourself educated man read some books
learn to talk learn to think make yourself into something get the hell out
there and make the world that put you here happy that you were put there in
that great institution you know and they came up to me afterwards and said god I
wish someone would have told us that when we were in our first year it's like
Jesus why didn't someone tell the math for God's sake it's supposed to be the
greatest university in the world is it so difficult to figure that out
well I prayed it from my life and anyone I know succeeded I'm a 17 year old kid
from Azusa California with no real education other than self education with
no background with parents that did their best all of them
but no money but I did one thing I love people and I had an enormous the man I
made it by myself and I sculpted my mind and my emotions to get me to do whatever
it would take to achieve and to contribute but to do that I did it by
using my body and changing my focus I did it by putting myself in a Peet
physiology and using what I call incantations can you train yourself to
believe something yes or no absolutely how many have you ever made the fatal
mistake of going to Disneyland or Disney World and while you're there made the
fatal mistake of going to a ride called it's a small world after all what
happens for about a week after you're out of that damn place you're still
singing this thing in your hand in 24 languages right let me tell you
something how many of you have things when you want to go Chiva man this part
of your voice goes oh it's not gonna happen or forget it I'm gonna go to
voice that sometimes interrupts that good pattern say ah what you want to do
is train a new one so starting when I was 17 I started doing incantations not
affirmations affirmation what's the problem you haven't changed your what
your what physiology if you don't change your physiology you won't get anything
so an incantation only you speak it but you embody what you're saying with all
the intensity you can and you do it with enough repetitions that it sticks in
your head like it's a small world now the conversation your head is always the
same and it gives you what you want so use your body and your voice so 17 years
ago I started doing things I was working for Jim Rohn the speaker and I was 17
years old I had long hair minestrone soup acne on my face and I
was trying to call on Bear Stearns type of people and convince them why they
should go to this man seminar be more successful I was driving a 1968
Volkswagen I had earned it $40 a week as a janitor the only way I did it was
parked far from the building and then go in and I love people I
believe what I put myself in state and I was able to influence people that were
far more successful I was at the time I will do something that I still do
backstage and have done for 23 years because I don't hope I'm gonna be in a
good State I demand it so I do an incantation using my whole body it's a
now command my subconscious mind to direct me and helping as many people as
possible live today to better their lives they gave me the strength the
emotion the persuasion the humor the brotherly whatever it takes
you surely feel and get these people to change their lives now I would do that
literally driving in my Volkswagen to a meeting in LA on the freeway for 40
minutes people looking I'm screaming to pop my lungs they're going I know he's a
serial killer I know he is but by the time I entered that room when two people
meet if there's rapport the person who's most certain and they were trying to get
wrapped up to certainty do you agree with this yes or no I do another one
because I was poor I changed my mindset I kept doing things but I never got
beyond it I'd say God's wealth is circulating in my life as well flows to
me and avalanches of abundance all my needs desires and goals are met
instantaneously by infinite intelligence I'm one with God and God is everything
and I would imagine the abundance of my life and I would feel so grateful and a
healer I went for making thirty eight thousand dollars a year to make a
million dollars in one year
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