- Yo, you are not going to believe this.
This is the story of how I feel in love at 14 years old,
started going to church for this girl and what she did
turned me into an atheist, B.
You're going to have to sit down for this one.
This is Sit Down Stand Up with Andrew.
So, I was 14 years old, right.
Annie Sanchez, the most beautiful fucking 14 year old
another 14, I don't think she's hot now,
because she was 14 then, I'm an adult now.
That would be weird.
That all was weird, I shouldn't say any of those things.
Anyway, we'd talk about everything.
I felt like this girl was my soulmate.
This was like Disney fairy tale.
Boys watch Disney fairy tale stuff too.
One time I was like, "Oh, yeah, man,
you know my mom and my grandma, they're super Catholic,
but I never went to church really, I'm not into all that,
I didn't even get baptized."
And she, peep this, Annie tells me,
"You know we could never get married someday
if you don't get baptized and do the whole thing."
So, I started going to these Bible classes.
Mind you, I'm 14 years old and I'm just learning the basics
so I can get baptized.
I figured that'd be enough.
In these baptism classes are six
and seven year old children.
They were just like, "You're dumb, you're stupid.
Why don't you know about the Lord?"
I'd be like, "I'm just in love." (crying)
(laughing)
I was dumb, I was real dumb.
Mom doesn't dig me and so whenever I'm with Annie
we gotta hide.
We used to hang out across the street at her friend's place
and just hide and make out and neck.
You know, neckin'. Neckin'.
(laughing)
You know about neckin'. You know about neckin', boy.
I know about you, man.
You used to neck all the time.
She tells me about this guy, Sam.
Sam, for whatever reason, she tells me is harassing her
and trying to get with her or whatever.
And I'm like, "I got you baby, don't worry about this.
Wait til I catch this dude."
A couple months later, I run into this dud in the street,
Sam.
I run up to him like, "Sam, let me talk to you real quick.
Let me talk to you."
You know how I get.
I was ready to knock somebody out, you know what I'm sayin'?
So I run up to him and he runs up at me with the same vigor.
You know, he's ready to fight me, I'm ready to fight him.
I'm like, "Yo, you better leave Annie alone.
I love that girl, that's my girlfriend."
And he's yelling the same thing at me,
right?
He's like, "Yo, you better leave my girlfriend alone."
and I'm like, "You better leave my girlfriend alone."
We stop for a second and we're like,
"My ... Your girlfriend?"
"Annie's my girlfriend."
He's like, "But no, Annie's my girlfriend."
We had a moment of realization, like wait a minute.
Are we both Annie's boyfriend?
And which one of us is the side chick?"
He grabs a payphone.
You know, payphone,
they were phones that used to be on the street.
He calls her up.
He's like, "Yo, Annie,
I just ran into this dude name Andrew.
He's telling me that he's your boyfriend.
What's up with that?"
She goes, "Oh no, he's crazy,
he's a liar; he's not my boyfriend."
So, I turn my head in the opposite direction
and I'm like,
(wailing)
She goes, "Sam, baby what was that sound?"
He goes, "Nah, don't worry about it.
I'm just in the street, I'm just calling real quick.
It's some crazy dude out here.
Meet me in front of the the corner of this and that."
She shows up, I'm hiding behind a car.
He's there with open arms.
I came out from behind that car and she,
oh man, her jaw just dropped.
She was so embarrassed.
He's like, "Oh, you got caught, how you feel?
You stupid."
Turns out, he's the first boyfriend, I was the side piece.
I was someone she picked up after the fact.
So, I guess he wasn't making her all that happy.
Whatever.
And so, Sam gives her an ultimatum.
He's like, "You got to chose between one of us."
I wasn't thinking that way.
We should've both just left her,
but he made her chose and she chose him,
and that was a little heartbreaking.
She went over to a payphone and she doesn't have a quarter
to call her mom and let her know, you know,
tell her mom she's okay and everything's fine.
Sam pulls out a quarter and he throws it at her.
Just bounces off of her and hits the floor.
She bends over to pick it up and when she gets up
she looks at me in the face and I give her one of those,
you picked him.
Anyways, I stopped going to church after that.
I'm an atheist now.
I'm pretty happy, fuck all that shit.
We got more episodes of Sit Down Stand Up with Andrew
coming at you, so like this channel.
Subscribe, check it out, check out these videos,
check out this playlist, watch all of our videos,
#youtube, what up.
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