Hey do you crave the approval of others do you fear rejection that is all about
the fear of man and I have a remedy to overcome that fear let's talk about
barry smith here a pastor of 25 years and an author of a church planning book
about failure i am the authority on mistakes just saying what i'm gonna
share with you today if you watch to the end will not only help you with your
fear it will give you renewed strength and power to have confidence and not
care as much about rejection and the acceptance of other people and if you're
new here be sure to subscribe hit the bell so that you hear every part of this
four-part series i remember being really irresponsible as a kid of course not now
and my mom would say wait till your dad gets home and i would be scared all day
long as a kid i was scared about what my friends thought of me as an adult I fear
how I come across online I've stood for days knowing that a tough conversation
was coming up and I'm wondering will I lose a friend over this will people
leave my church over this the church that I pastor I'm telling you people
scare me we've all got fears particularly in relationships anybody
fear what others think of them yeah yes you do it's why we wore bell-bottoms and
MC Hammer pants back in the day and it's probably why many wear skinny jeans
today why else imagine if someone trashed your reputation with a false
rumor or what if you were bullied on social media with more lies we
especially fear burglars and bad guys if we don't want someone breaking into our
house imagine if they broke in and hurt one of your children it's why we lock
our car doors it's why we get alarms for our houses it's why we carry pepper
spray and guns and get insurance but all of that comfort is a lie that we've
bought into and there's an unbelief behind all those lies not an unbelief in
God I get it that most of you you believe in God but we're not believing
the truths about God and that's the four G's like we learned last time that God
is great so we don't have to be in control God is sovereign and in full
control of the universe as well as the little things in our lives
today this is your message in a tweet this if you don't get anything else
after this message get this one it's the second G of God God is glorious so we
don't have to fear others God is glorious so we don't have to fear others
leaving my church plant in California was difficult and it kind of weird in a
veiled way nothing horrible but it set me up to look bad and I wanted everyone
to know the whole truth at least my truth why because I didn't want people
to think bad of me I didn't want people to think that I might have done a bad
job I craved the approval of my friends it was a struggle all based on the fear
and a lie about God these fears are created in the gap of unbelief between
our heads and our hearts where what we know to be true in our heads is not
lived out in the actions of our hearts that gap of unbelief causes us to fear
others we fear others because we don't believe truths about God and the biggest
reason that we fear others is because we have a fear of not being accepted now
you may not think so but it's true for so many we desperately want to be
accepted to be valued in other words we crave the approval of others to be
desired it's why many gals wear makeup it's why guys suck in their guts can you
tell me where the gym is is it over there it's why we wear flattering
clothes that make us look better than we really are
it's why we try to make our parents proud of us it's why we try to be
validated by our peers at work because when people approve of us we feel
accepted and acceptance is probably the biggest reason that we seek approval
stated another way we fear other's disapproval none of us want to be
rejected by others especially those we care about but here's the problem if
this need in our life grows too big the need for acceptance then people control
us because we need their acceptance and the Bible calls that the fear of man and
that's why we picked proverbs 29:25 is your memory verse for this week memorize
this first proverbs 29:25 it says fear of man will prove to be a snare but
whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe according to Ed Welch and his book when
people are big and God is small the fear of man has many symptoms susceptibility
to peer pressure it needs something from a spouse a
CERN with self-esteem being over committed because we can't say no fear
of being exposed small lies to make yourself look good people making you
jealous angry depressed anxious avoiding people compare yourself to others and
the fear of talking about Jesus I'm guessing there's something in that list
that touches a nerve in you the fear of being exposed self-esteem comparing
yourself to others can't say no so your overcommitted
come on now you know that something applies there and it's all a lie of the
fear of man we're not believing a truth about God that overcomes all that fear
culture tries to overcome this unbelief by boosting our self-esteem which makes
things worse because if we do something and find a way to help our self-esteem
then we become dependent on whatever it was or whoever it was that boosts us up
or we elevate good desires like affirmation and respect and weari label
them as needs where we're not whole or complete without them we become obsessed
with needing the approval or acceptance of others and then we're controlled by
them because of the lie of fear the answer to the fear of man is the fear of
God we need a bigger view of God Isaiah 33 6 says this he will be the sure
foundation for your times a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge
the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure the fear of
God means that we respect worship trust and submit to him that's the proper
response to his glory God is glorious so I don't need to fear others we fear
God's glory His Holiness power love goodness and wrath you think about
people's response to just angels in the Bible knowing that those angels revealed
just a glimpse of who God is and Jesus birth and Luke to the Shepherd's were
terrified and afraid Luke 1 Zechariah heard his old lady was pregnant by an
angel well I mean she wasn't gonna get pregnant by the angel but he heard
through the angel say it anyway he was startled gripped with fear and afraid
Luke 1 Mary was greatly troubled and afraid at Gabriel's announcement of her
pregnancy Luke 24 at Jesus's tomb the women bowed down in fright Matthew 28 at
the empty tomb the guards were so afraid they shook and were like dead men that's
the initial response when we get just a good
of God's presence of his glory of his weight God is glorious so we don't have
to fear others just him and his weightiness see that that word glory
means weight as it appurtenance importance a weighty person they matter
just like the last time we saw God's greatness that God is great and he's
full weight he's in full significance he's full control all of His Majesty's
splendor wisdom power compassion grace patience and love they're all put on
display in the person and work of His Son Jesus who is sovereign and in
control and God's full weight and character automatically leads to worship
to a a blowing you away moment God is glorious God is weighty and so is Jesus
so I don't need to fear other people I don't need to be controlled by them and
what they think that's the response of seeing God in a healthy fear Exodus 20
verse 18 when the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and
saw the mountain and smoke they trembled with fear they stayed at a distance and
said to Moses speak to us yourself and we will listen but do not have God speak
to us or we will die Moses said to the people do not be afraid God has come to
test you so that the fear of God may be with you to keep you from sinning to
fear is to pay tribute which makes sense to a holy God but why do I consistently
pay tribute and fear others over the weightiness of God see that's a lie of
the fear of man and that lie has lived out in our daily lives by exaggerating
or being overly self-conscious or self-hate or allowing criticism to just
crush us and for many it's by being a people pleaser we can easily get
obsessed by the fear of man and what others think about us Steve Jobs said
this remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever
encountered to help me make the big choices in life almost everything all
external expectations all pride all fear of embarrassment or failure these things
just fall away in the face of death leaving only what is truly important you
see the bottom line is this if you knew you are gonna die in two weeks what
would be most important your retirement account your bank account your projects
at work your continued education how many letters you have besides your name
your boss problems or employee problems your next workout how fit you are know
where you're going in two weeks is the supreme important issue where is your
eternal destiny would you strive for the approval of your dad or your wife or
your guys at work that's the fear of man my question is do you wrestle with
fearing men like disappointing your spouse so you don't explain how you
really feel or letting your parents down so you take the easy way out and don't
tell the truth are you debilitated when you're not
accepted by certain segments of your friends let me ask you could you make a
list of those whose disapproval you don't want let me ask you again
could you make a list of those whose disapproval
you don't want yes the answer is yes and that list would be unlimited that's
the fear of man and you lose the priority of God's glory his weightiness
we've got to get a bigger view of God are you not believing the truth about
God that he is glorious because when we fear God when we worship and respect and
trust him and submit to him we get a bigger bigger view of God and that
drives out the fear of man and that helps close the gap between our head in
our heart fearing God is the proper response when we get a glimpse of him
many of us just haven't recognized that glimpse of him in a long long while so
here's what we can do here's what I want you to do post below in the comments I
will fear God alone that's a commitment between you and God that you're gonna
work on not fearing man do that right now I will fear God alone it's a simple
start and this week I want you to spend time alone with God in nature Bible and
prayer that's your homework you'll learn to trust him and love him more than you
love and trust in others and if you'll do these two things you'll narrow the
gap of unbelief between your head and your heart or what you believe in your
head will start to be lived out in your heart where actions take place and then
you'll replace the lie of the fear of man with the truth of fearing God that
will overcome the fear of man and you'll stop obsessing about others God is
glorious so I don't need to fear others and God is great he's sovereign so I
don't need to be in control and next week we're going to talk about my
favorite satisfaction in life and how to guarantee that you get it it is possible
but for now post below I will fear God alone
and then do your homework and spend time alone with God this week in nature in
the Bible and in prayer see fearing man takes you down a path that leads you
away from God choose today who you will fear until next time
you
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