Is there someone in your life that's abusing you right now?
Is there somebody hurting you?
Harming you right now?
If there is, you need to listen to my message.
I mean, just close the door.
Shut off whatever music or TV, you know.
Put off...
Put off whatever other noise, and just listen
carefully to what I'm going to say.
By the way, I'm in New Zealand right now.
I'm in a hotel room, and just arrived a few
hours ago.
But I needed to make this Fulltank message for people who need to hear
this message.
I've been very big unforgiveness by the way - in the past
Fulltank episodes.
I've been telling people,
"You need to forgive."
You need to forgive.
You need to forgive.
Because you need that peace, and you need
that forgiveness - that freedom.
When you forgive, guess what?
It's a gift that you give to yourself.
Now, I've been harping about that, but I know the
reality that there are people, that you've forgiven...
And that you've forgiven...
And you've forgiven, and they still keep on
doing the harmful thing, and you get hurt again and your hurt again...
And I just want to balance things off.
I'm very big on forgiveness, but I'm very big on fences.
What do I mean?
Fences means boundaries, a person that does not
have fences.
Protective fences around the person, so that you will not
get hurt again.
You will not be able to love.
You cannot love.
A person without boundaries, a person without fences
cannot love.
I was talking to a wife, who is a battered wife.
Her husband is a drunkard, and he would beat her.
Time and time again, beat her up and then ask forgiveness.
And then, she would forgive.
She has stayed in that relationships for 18 years.
And I asked her, "Why haven't you left?"
And this were her words.
And then, I hear it often from battered women,
"Because he needs me".
You know what?
Those words are very telling
"This is not love - this is need".
And there's a huge difference between love
and need.
Her self-worth and herself identities wrapped
around him, needing her.
I'll say that again, just in case you didn't get that, "This is not love.
This is need".
Her self-worth...
Her identity...
Her self-esteem it's all based on this guy,
needing her.
She's a very broken woman.
This is not love.
Love can only come from
someone who is strong already as a
person, and does not need anyone needing her.
That's the only person that can love.
I need you to understand that.
And so, I told her, "You've got to love
yourself first.
And you've got to protect yourself.
You've got to get out of that
marriage, and you have to tell him - your
husband that he needs to go through
counselling, and go through treatment.
And you will not accept him, until he totally
goes through that treatment and changes.
And say, 'You know, I've had it."
I'll tell you why.
By allowing him to hurt you
again and again and again, you're not
loving the person.
Because you're allowing him to be destroyed
by his own weakness.
But if you stand up and say, "No,
you cannot hurt and hurt me again!
I will not allow it."
"I'm building my boundaries".
You're loving yourself,
and you're loving the other person.
Yes, forgive the person, of course.
And love the person, of course.
But love from a distance.
I hope I'm making sense to you.
I know this is difficult teaching, and it can be confusing...
If this is the first time you're hearing this...
My name is Bo Sanchez.
And welcome to Fulltank.
And my goal is to inspire you.
And sometimes to disturb you - to actually remind you.
And that there is a difference between forgiveness and
friendship - that you can forgive someone, yes.
But it doesn't mean that you're going to be friends with that person
again.
If that person is abusing you, and abusing you and abusing you.
I read the gospel for the day, and I pray that it will inspire you.
The gospel is Matthew 7 - where Jesus said, "Do
not give what is holy to the dogs.
Do not throw pearls to the swine.
What will the pigs do with pearls except to
step on it, and trample it underfoot."
You know, you need to be discerning.
There's another Scripture verse that I like
which...
When Jesus says, "You know, if somebody rejects your peace, shake the
dust of your feet."
Whoa!
I love that!
You know.
Yes, forgive.
Yes, love.
But if that person is harming you and hurting you, love from a distance.
Protect yourself.
Put boundaries.
You know, my wife and I, we love each other.
We've been together for 19 years, and we do apply what the
Bible says.
You know, Jesus said, "How many
times should you forgive?
His answer, 'Seventy times seven.'"
That's basically in Hebrew 'Eternal', 'Forever'.
But listen to me.
She forgives me every day for
being disorganized, for taking her for
granted, because I'm so busy with work, you know.
She forgives me....
Forgives me...
Forgives me...
But there's a difference between mistakes like that
and harming her, and abusing her, emotionally or verbally or physically.
There's a difference!
And yes!
We were supposed to forgive each other, but
I cannot break those boundaries.
I need to respect her, and love her.
I'm going to be praying for you,
this at this moment, right now - that you
learn to love yourself because unless
you love yourself, you will never be able
to love anyone.
And one very important way of loving yourself is building those
fences, building those boundaries around you to protect yourself.
Because when you do that, you're going to teach other
people how to treat you.
And that's important in loving them.
Father in Heaven, I pray for every person listening to me at this time.
I pray that Your Word be like a sea that plants deep
in their heart.
I pray that it will become a beautiful harvest in the future.
I pray for miracles.
I pray for wisdom.
I pray for discernment to be able to know
how to love -- how to build those fences.
In Jesus Christ's name.
Father God, I pray for more miracles, and for more blessings,
for this person I'm praying for right now.
In Jesus' name.
Amen and amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Yeah!
Thank you so much guys for this opportunity that I
have with you.
And yes, again we do offer you know, if you need a friend
just to pray with you or to listen to you call our Pastoral Care Center in the
Light of Jesus.
It's (632) 725-9999.
I wasn't very sure with the first numbers.
Of course, it's in Manila.
So, (632) 725-9999.
Or email, the email I'll put there at the around this video.
So, thank you so much.
I'm going see you tomorrow.
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