today on ask Johnny swirl we have a seri... I don't know what to do
we calm down we see... today on Ask Johnny Swirl...too much a little less
pillow talk it's a special pillow talk episode
All right all right... you're already laughing...
today on Ask Johnny Swirl we are going to talk about the single most single
biggest challenge frustration when it comes to interracial relationships I've
gotten asked this question in certain ways but I'm actually working on a
project for my marketing agency for one of my clients and this is how this
question came about so but it's actually a really good question and tell you what
let's just go ahead and get into the show all right welcome back to the show
today the question is
and let me get right into the answer today so this is some people want to
talk about for a long time on the show I just didn't know how it was going to
approach it but today is the big day and to me the biggest challenge I feel like
with interracial relationships but this goes for anything in life will really
poor relationships in general and stuff I just think it's bigger with
interracial relationships because we're dealing with different races and
ethnicities and that is assumptions what I guess I'm getting at is people okay
so I don't even take this back to my marketing agency where when I have a
client and they're you know they're the the owner for that I'm just gonna start
to be the owner or CEO but it could be like just somebody whoever the head of
their marketing department and whatnot it they always assume that they know
what their customers thinking until you put something out there from a marketing
standpoint and they were totally wrong at what they thought their customer
client patient whatever wanted and I think that's true in dating as well you
know everybody thinks oh like this is I sometimes you guys in the comments will
kind of get on my nerves a little bit with the you know black men and the
white men and but you know it's like you know you're you're talking we people are
individuals you guys you know I mean at the end of the day people are still
individuals yes you will see you know things skew a certain way that you know
predominantly there's predominately that but let's be honest everybody's
different so when you're dealing with it on an individual we're all individuals
so if we go dating somebody of a different race or ethnicity we're
automatically assuming things about them I guess from some standpoint that's a
human nature we're always gonna do that in anything we do you know like if you
you know like I know me if I went on a date with a Mexican girl who you know
her she's Auto percent Mexican I'm gonna start assuming things about her I just
know myself I've never gone with a Mexican girl
before but I'm gonna assume that she eats a lot of tacos and you know me
these are things so I understand we were all are gonna do that to some extent
let's keep that in mind but I guess my point is this if everybody said to
themselves you know okay I might assume things but let me keep an open mind
going into something there would be a lot less problems you know and I think
people because people's insecurities get in the way and whatnot what we think we
automatically think everybody else feels that way I've noticed and I pay close
attention to this stuff maybe because I'm only child my whole life and I was
bored but I would pay attention that like if somebody liked baseball they
automatically just think everybody else likes baseball even though they know
everybody else doesn't like baseball if that makes any sense
so I think they feel that way about interracial dating as well right so if
I'm a black woman who's really never dated a white guy before right away
whatever white guy I go out with I'm going to assume he's automatically in
this way that all white men are so like he does this or he doesn't do this or
he's got this or he doesn't have this and I think that is the single biggest
challenge when it comes to interracial dating interracial relationship
let me read something to you guys because I what I'm one of my favorite
commenters so I brought it before Belinda joy I wanted to on the video on
astronautics world 62 because attraction of black women fall along class lines
for white men she says Belinda talks about crystalline
and about pushing the idea that that if a black woman wants to attract the white
man she can't be fat and shouldn't allow herself to be big I'm a big woman I
would compare my looks to a woman half my size and I think I am pretty
I don't believe size matters matters when it comes to attracting a white man
I think the overall appearance swagger and personality does because the bottom
line is there are men of every race that don't like fat women and only prefer
thin women you as a white man could tell me if I'm wrong on that point I also
think the same is true when it comes to class I have had white men that
clearly attracted me not approach me and I never know if it's because of my age
or how I am dressed because if I am in a business suit carrying my briefcase
sashay down the street they look and smile but don't approach me the white
guys in business suits will but not a guy dressed in jeans and a t-shirt okay
so I guess the point I'm trying to make is right away you know
Belinda's in her mind trying to figure out okay why are they doing this were
they not doing this but I think the point is this and I like what she's
saying in that comment is that you know she's right in that there are guys of
different races that like bigger women guys that like skinny women there's guys
like you know and and I think the good example is myself you know when I was
growing up in Brett grade school eventually school junior high high
school always liked the black girls but I was a popular got the white girls
liked me I wasn't so you know what I'm saying like nobody would have expected
in society standards for me to like black girls when they would just have
expected me being a wreck a white guy of a certain look and whatever else to like
the white girls do you see what I'm saying
so my point is the assumptions if we assume right away we're all we're gonna
we're going to block our blessings by thinking it's this way and that's the
only way it is do you know what I mean I think that's the perfect example because
everybody would have just think I mean there were so many times when these
white girls are sort of like what is wrong with you why don't you like us you
know but when I like the black girl so my point is yeah I may have been in the
minority among white guys but still that's how I was so I think the point
I'm trying to make is all these assumptions and all these assume are the
reason people aren't even going on dates in the first place because they think
well I'm a big girl so that is fate a guy won't like me or I'm you know a
white guy black girls don't like white guys so you
know what I mean I so I think assumptions and assuming is the biggest
single challenge frustration when it comes to interracial relationships
because I see it all the time my goal like I said with this channel I
don't when it comes this channel I don't like I'm not here saying everybody
should be an interracial relationship contrary to the Pro black haters and the
see racist they get on the channel that's not the point by point is for
people to expand their horizons if they're not happy in the situation's
they're in or dating the same race of guys and girls that they're dating so
for me it's really about people opening up and I think the problem with that is
people have their own prejudices their assumptions and so that keeps them from
doing that and it's so funny because I guarantee if I have guests here that
have never dated outside of their race I guarantee if I ask them that they're
gonna say it was the biggest problem well I don't you know because if you
know if you're a black guy you've always dated black women you approach black
women a certain way you approach a white woman you're gonna be out of your
comfort zone even if you change your approach you're still gonna get a little
bit of a you know hesitation or trepidation to approach that white woman
or Hispanic well you know everything is different you know it's it's it's all
sumption that's a problem but like I said this this cross is even more
interracial relationships or relationships in general this goes for a
lot of things people thinking I can't get a job because oh they'll never want
me and bla bla bla I guess that's the only way we're gonna move ahead is the
societies if we get these assumptions out of our head or if we get rejected
because we were right on the assumption okay but move to the next move to the
next one and that might not be that way so that's that's my single biggest I
think is the single biggest challenge make sure you click in the description
to put your email in there and our be a swirl network insider I'm gonna be
setting emails out every week here soon I haven't already I've been busy as hell
but I'm gonna be on that not miss it and then make sure you shoot me a comment so
if you made it this far - we're gonna start needing videos from you guys we
want to start putting up videos from you guys talking about the single biggest
challenge in frustration you have with interracial relationships
we're not Camilla's corner won't be going anymore so we're trying to come up
with new different show ideas and stuff so we want you guys I'd love to have you
guys start doing videos we're all one big community I'm not here trying to hog
the camera hog the limelight so you know hit me up shoot me an email and I'm
gonna catch you guys on the next hashtag ask Johnny Swirl
See ya peace I'm done
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