Don't complain about others
change yourself
because, it is easy to protect your feet with slippers
rather than carpeting the whole world, the whole Earth.
Remember, I spoke to you about the irritating noises? I got the answers now.
One more line.
A beautiful understanding about life.
Your problem is never really your problem
Your problem is never really your problem? Okay.
Your reaction to the problem is actually
your problem.
Do not get upset with people
or situations.
They are powerless without your reaction.
Beautiful right?
No.
Not beautiful? Why?
I am not a dead body.
Like I told about people who spoilt my car,
Should I not react at all?
See, it is such a beautiful line - "Your problem is not the problem".
Your problem
is not the problem
your reaction to the problem is the actual problem.
Let us look at this sentence
and let us play with it the whole day.
Your problem is not the problem
Your reaction to the problem
You make things so easy
let's play around, let's make it a game.
It looks like...
If we use it whole day, then it would be so much fun.
Because
We say we face so many problems.
Yes there are problems, even as simple as someone slamming your car door or stock market crashing
someone is not well or someone betrayed you.
These are problems
but how much pain do these problems create in me
that pain is the actual problem right?
If something doesn't create pain in me
then how big will that problem be?
Then we say it was just a small issue, it came and we crossed it.
Because there was no pain created it.
So where is the actual problem? The problem is the pain.
Pain in any form
irritation, anger, fear, jealousy, criticism, anxiety
anything which creates
turbulent energy
negative energy.
Here is the pain. The more the pain
the bigger the problem seems, to me.
Because that pain is getting increased
more the pain, more will be the suffering
more will be the suffering
If there is no pain
and there is no suffering, then the problem no longer seems a problem to me.
That's a nice point, so that means
If I face a lose a huge amount of money
My partner is with me
and even he loses the same amount (of money)
If he gets a heart attack and I don't
so does it means - that problem was not a problem for me?
That problem was not a problem for you isn't it?
-That is a nice point. -Because
if I do not get disturbed,
see it is a very simple thing.
If there is an earthquake
If there is an earthquake, your house is here
and so is mine.
After the earthquake,
if your house collapses but my house is fine.
Then how would that earthquake be a problem for me?
This house "within"
In life there will be earthquakes
Earthquake in the sense problems or situations or anything.
But even after the earthquake if you remain unshaken
Then how was it a problem for you?
There is a saying - "A challenge turned into a gift."
Oh wow.
Because even after the problem, you are not letting it affect you right?
You are not shaken even after the earthquake.
A house remained steady even after an earthquake because its foundation was very strong.
But the person who's house is shaken, i.e. his life
His state of mind is shaken.
For the person whose mind was strong, earthquake came and nothing happened
It won't seem a problem to him.
A person who felt the pain
for him it was a problem.
And the person who did feel the pain
he won't call it a problem.
He says the situation came and left.
Someone else will say a problem came and left.
Another person will call it crisis
-Yet another other person will call it a chaos - Calamity
Calamity. This depends on how much pain got created.
If there is wind blowing
and you are standing still
but is someone is shaken due to it
then that wind is equivalent to a strong storm for him as it shook him.
So the size of the problem
will totally depend on how much I shook
due to the problem.
Often we see a particular situation affects somebody so deeply and we cannot understand why.
There can be various reasons for that
So we say , "I cannot understand how they can get so affected by such a small thing."
But that situation is a very big problem for them
Why? Because its effect is very deep on them.
So this line is so beautiful
"Your problem is not the problem"
"your reaction to the problem is the actual problem".
So the real problem is not the problem?
When the situation came
When I started to learn driving, I once took my mother for a drive.
Traffic cops used to stop vehicles signaling with their hands those days and one of them stopped me.
And I said, "This policeman stops traffic the moment I reach here."
"He is so irritating."
"He stops just when my vehicle has to cross the signal."
And then my mother told me, "Don't try to cool milk which is already cold."
It means if you are trying to cool hot milk it makes sense, but why blowing air into already cold milk?
Why?
Because even she is with you sitting in the same car
but she saw how even in such a small situation, you got so disturbed.
I shouted about the policemen as well.
She is detached
Yes, she told me that he is doing his duty.
She was not affected at all by the car being stopped.
She accepted that the policemen is doing his duty.
But she saw that if the same thing is affecting you so much
The situation was same but the reactions were different.
For you, that reaction
was the problem.
and that's why she felt you were reacting when it was not needed.
-Why? -I was angry for no reason.
We can experiment this all the time.
There are a lot of things which affect us but not the other people around us,
and there are also some situations which don't affect us
but others are affected.
It depends on our Sanskar (Habit).
Suppose I have a sanskar of anger, I get angry. But you do not have that sanskar, so you do not get angry.
If I have the sanskar of getting hurt
then I will get hurt in every other situation
but you won't.
If you have the sanskar of criticizing and I do not have
Under certain situations you will create turbulent energy by being critical and I will be fine.
It will all depend
that over a period of time
what quality of thinking have we adopted
to create certain programming.
So when a situation comes, we react through that programming.
And hence even the output comes accordingly.
So the issue is not in the problem
it is in our programming, our reaction and the final output.
And that is why the second line was so beautiful
Do not get upset or irritated with people
they are powerless without your reaction.
Look at the line. They are powerless, without your reaction.
Suppose you are sitting here
and you are constantly saying unpleasant things to me
you may be criticizing or angry, but if it is not disturbing me.
You made me powerless right, in the first three episodes.
I used to speak so much.
But, if we get disturbed
and say, "They disturb me"
It means we made them very powerful.
We gave the remote control of our state of our mind to them.
If I give you the power to control my mind
what more power can we give somebody ?
"My mind is now your slave."
Your one word can either pull me down or it can push me up.
So I made the other person so powerful.
I gave people the remote control of my mind.
How powerful I have made them ?
But if we keep our remote control with ourselves
then it does not matter what the other person says, is it not?
No matter what he does, he does not have the power.
Actually I personally feel like, for example
if a small kid comes to me and says
"Uncle, if I punch you, you will fall down."
So cute. Yes.
And then I find it so cute that I start reciprocating.
I know that he does not have the power to do it
So what you are saying is right.
What did you do at that moment?
-You enjoyed what he said, right? -Yes.
You embraced that, you embraced that kid right?
I found him cute, hugged him and played with him.
But why did I do it? I did because I knew I have the power to do it
Now as per what you are saying, we do not have that power.
So where do we get the power from?
We do have it
But we are not using it.
If we do have it and we are not using it
Then suppose if I have a lot of money in a locker and I do not have its keys
then how do I get it?
You said we do not have the power. Let us experiment that as well.
There are a lot of people after listening to whom, we are allowed to get angry.
And there are a lot of people after listening to whom, we are not allowed get angry.
Right?
If I have a senior shouting at me, I cannot shout back at him.
If I have a junior
and if he is wrong, I can shout at him.
Right?
So when I am with my juniors, staff, or colleagues
then I can be angry. It is allowed. Says who?
Says me. My programming says that
I am allowed to shout at them
so I shout at them, I get angry.
My programming says I cannot get angry at somebody else.
So when my programming says I cannot get angry at somebody
now it does not matter what that person says
No matter what they do, even if I am getting upset from within.
Can I shout back at them?
Look at the complete Customer Care industry.
Look at the complete Hospitality industry.
Service centers, air hostess, hotels.
All of the staff of Hospitality and Customer Care Service industries
they are trained completely
What is their training?
That no matter how your client talks to you
no matter how he reacts over the phone
How should your reaction be?
Smile
and say, "Yes sir."
"Thank you sir."
This is their conditioning.
This is the preparation of their mind
Now if someone calls you regarding an offer or scheme
or to sell a Credit Card
and you are in a meeting and you end up shouting at him.
You shout saying this and that.
He politely replies, "I am sorry sir, I will call you back later."
He will talk so politely and end the call.
It is his conditioning.
His preparation.
It is his means for bread and butter.
Yes, there is a reason behind it, is it not?
He gets paid for it.
Very good. Why did I do that conditioning?
For my money
Come what may, I have to respond with politeness and love.
Programming.
In Russia we went to a museum
and there a tall artist
He would stand there for hours without even blinking.
We laughed in front of him
we danced and joked around him
but he was just not blinking.
It is his conditioning, his job.
That is physical conditioning
and right now we are talking about emotional conditioning.
That you cannot react to anything.
Even he did not react.
So whoever is conditioned, they follow it strictly.
Today, even if we are in their place we will do it.
If we are doing that job today
where no matter what happens
even if someone talks to you rudely, you need to talk politely. We will do that.
Anyone will do it.
Anybody and everybody can do this.
Why? Because the programming says, "If you do not do this, you lose your job."
"If you do not do this, you lose your job."
So we do it.
Now, I write my coding as -
"If you do not do this, you lose your happiness."
"Do you want to be happy?"
"Do you want happiness in life?"
"No matter how the other person talks to you"
"Smile"
"Smile, be polite"
"and say okay."
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