Like that?
Did my hair come out okay?
Because everyone's gonna see me.
My entire family is gonna think, "look at that crazy old lady making YouTube videos..."
Hello, my loves! My skies! My peachy bon bons!
Today I'm going to show you how to do your make-up as you should.
Because in today's day and age, girls are going out looking like those Kim Kardashian girls
with their faces full of make-up looking like clowns.
Look, you like my ring?
I bought it in Eckerd Drugs.
Step number one, wash your face with soap.
I'm not gonna show you cause I already washed my face.
It's like those those commercials with the pretty girls washing their faces like this...
Of course, cause who wants to watch an old lady wash her face?
Add the Pond's moisturizer to your face.
I've been using this little cream for many years.
It smells so good!
Ay!
A little bit like this, look.
And you put it on like this, look.
Like this all over your little face.
I'm feeling fresh now.
So I use two different powders.
The Airspun.
And the Maja.
Sometimes it gets really hot and I start to sweat.
Like this.
My granddaughter always cakes her face
with so much sh*t.
The foundation.
And... what do you call the other thing?
The bee-bee...
Bebe...
Baby cream?
This one definitely has a lot of powder action.
I love this applicator.
*coughs in Abuela Spanish*
Give me something to drink!
Yes, I don't care.
Coffee is a liquid.
Eyebrow pencil.
I bought it at Navarro.
You know, I just sharpen it.
Sharpen it.
Sharpen it.
Until it's teeny tiny.
They last you a while.
I like them really dark so you can see me better.
I want you to know that this is something I do when I go out to a baby shower or a quinceanera or a baptism
or a wedding or to simply show off to the old ladies at the doctor's office cause they think they're all that.
Especially that Gloria who's always complaining about her bad knees.
This is my favorite part.
I have my little holiday tin.
(sings) Feliz Navidad!
That Jose Feliciano plays the guitar in such a lovely way.
Here I have my collection of little Avon lipstick samples.
Look.
My podiatrist's cousin, sells Avon.
Her name is Ana Maria. Look how pretty.
(sings) The little, teeny lipstick.
Sometimes it sticks to your teeth.
Look, it's just that in today's day and age it is a robbery to spend $20 on a lipstick.
With $20 I can buy some cans of Vienna sausages, condensed milk, my Cuban coffee,
ten plantains, my medications, two pounds of deli meat, and even new slippers from Valsan.
Unbelievable.
Wait.
Close the door, please! The flies will come in!
Damn.
So, step six...
It's a little trick.
My grandma also taught me this.
I just do this...
Look at that! Didn't have to spend money.
I use the Maybelline brand for mascara.
I've been using this same one for years.
Ay, Abuela! What big eyes you have!
To see you better, my dear.
Poor Little Red Riding Hood waking around the woods by herself with no shoes on.
This is my favorite nail polish brand.
It's called Miss Marion.
I can't paint them right now because my granddaughter already painted my nails last week.
Because she told me, "Abuela, you have to paint your nails for the fall fashion."
It's like a little bell.
Ding-gee-ring-gee-ring-gee-ring...
When I go out, I like my hair to look pristine.
There are so many people who go out with their hair all out of wack.
They look like psychos!
This is the same brush that I've been using for many years.
Mirtha de Perales.
You see?
This can also serve as a good spanking tool.
I also use her conditioner and shampoo products.
I always put this Royal Violets perfume on my grandkids. Even the grown up ones.
Violets.
I add a little over here. And a little over there.
Now, if I'm gonna go out to a place that's a little more, you know, fancy...
I have a giant bottle of.... how do you say the name?
It's French. Jean Nate.
I feel like a model on Sabado Gigante. Jean Nate.
This will last me another 20 years.
And now, look at me. I'm ready to go!
Now you will all be prepared for Thanksgiving
and the holiday season.
You don't need a lot of money to look good.
And behave well! Because Santa Claus is watching!
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