As a person who stutters, I always had this practical approach towards stuttering like
yeah, science, research, speech language pathologists, whatever books, causes of stuttering whatever.
Okay, that's all fine but what should I do with stuttering? Give me the exercises, the
practical steps. What should I do to get free from stuttering? And I see that many people
have similar approach and this is awesome.
But the more I work inside the Improve Program
with the guys helping them on their way to freedom from stuttering, I realize
that this initial understanding of what is stuttering is extremely important. As you go along in this
journey you realize that without this initial understanding, even if you have a map anyway
you move kind of in darkness. So let's try to shed some light on that. Let's talk about
what is your and my stuttering.
You might say, come on Andrey, I know what stuttering
is; I stutter so don't tell me what it is. And I would say that sure you know what stuttering
is but my suggestion is to let's try to get out. Right now, you're having like a perception,
a view of stuttering from the inside. Let's try to get out of it. Let's try to get outside
and let's try to look at your stuttering from the outside.
So, if I give you a blank piece of paper and I would ask you please stuttering, what is
it? Stuttering is a word. If we think about a picture, an image what it would be for you?
Please think for a second, okay? What comes to your mind? Got something? Please leave
a comment just one word, two words. What it is, what is stuttering as an image? What would
you draw? What do you want to draw if you see blank sheet of paper in front of you?
What is it? Please leave a comment because it's really very interesting and I'll get
back to you in a minute saying what usually people draw, what usually people come up with
when they think about stuttering but I'll get to you back in a minute, okay? For now please
let yourself produce that image, that picture for you.
There are many capacities in which stuttering appears or is being revealed for us or how
we view it. Let's talk about four, just four capacities. I believe the core things about
stuttering which form a real picture that we need to realize and understand about stuttering.
Sometimes people ask me, Andrey are you completely healed of stuttering? And that brings a feeling
like stuttering is some form of a disease. It's like saying you know I caught a cold,
I caught a flu. I caught it so it's not something that I usually have. It's not me, that's something
attached to me today that I want to live throught or I want to take off like something
that's holding me right now but that's not me. And here comes a big question like stuttering -
is it me or not me? Is it part of me or is it something attached to me like what is it? When
I say part, do you feel that it's part of your true nature or you feel like no, no,
no my true nature is different this is again some attachment, some disease? And that's
a big question we come to again and again, again consciously or subconsciously but this
internal dialogue is going on all the time. And going back to the picture, to the image
often times people draw stuttering as a monster especially kids; they see it as something
external again, as a disease as something that does not represent our true nature. We
often go thinking between these two extremes. One extreme is that it's something external,
outside, not me so this extreme doesn't let us realize that in fact it is part of me right
now. It is the pattern that I'm having. We'll talk in a minute about being something bigger
than a pattern so it penetrates me, it becomes part of me. It is actually part of me and
it does represent some part of my nature, it is. My nature produced that so yeah that's
part of my nature. Another extreme on this spectrum is saying since this is part of my
nature I have some genes inside me that produce that then that's me and that means that I
can do anything with that. There is no point in trying to change anything. I should just
accept it and be fine with it somehow; I should like it even, really? So we go between these
two extremes and my firm belief is that the truth is for everyone. It's own of course.
Actually the truth is what you choose, right? So if you choose to like it and say I like
it; this is my true nature that's what you have. If you feel like that's a monster, not
me, hate it, I don't take responsibility that it's part of me. That's another extreme and
that's the truth for you of course. But I believe if you're thinking about getting free
from stuttering, well the truth is that it's in between; it's a pattern produced by our
nature, patterns are hard to change but it is something that we definitely can change.
It's not a gene; it's not about finding that secret gene inside my body. I mean I
have the same nature, the same genes inside me when I stuttered and now when I feel differently
when I'm free from stuttering. The same nature, the same genes inside me but different patterns.
So the first idea that is probably hard to take is that it's not an external monster,
not a disease, not a flu; it's part of me, it's my pattern, it derives from my nature
so I take ownership for this. This is me but at the same time it's in my discretion to
change that pattern. That's why it's so important to know what came into your mind when you
were thinking about stuttering, when you were trying to imagine the image or the picture
because that a psychological exercise. It really shows you on which side of the spectrum
your thinking is or goes. Is it more like external thing, disease or is it my true nature
or something in between like where your thinking goes? That's really interesting so please
leave a comment. It would be awesome to know. The second capacity of stuttering that I want
to talk about is that it's not just a pattern; it's an automated pattern. You might say Andrey,
pattern and automated pattern isn't that the same thing? Probably yeah it's the same thing
but I want to go deeper and really realize that that automated piece how it works. Imagine
yourself as a computer and me as a computer, okay? We have hardware like nose, eyes, hair,
whatever we can touch. And we have programs inside like a software that code that when
we have an impetus, something coming from outside, a setting, an environment; we have
all sorts of programs already that know how to respond to that and exactly like a computer
may have a vast memory but a very tiny small, compared to that memory, operational memory
is really small like we work pretty much the same. I mean our programs are so sophisticated.
When we face an environment, when we get into a setting it's all set there, we know how
to respond and it goes automatically. The discretion of our conscious mind at that point
is relatively small. And again there could be a discussion like that we want to be present
or want to be conscious, mindfulness, awareness whatever. We can kind of work on that, that's
a separate topic. But anyway, it's absolutely true that when we're in some process like
speaking process or interaction with somebody, we cannot get all of ourselves into that conscious
mind and really analyze everything and respond with that conscious mind. Most of it, absolutely
most of it goes automatically. And the practical point of that idea of that conclusion that
stuttering is an automated pattern is when we try to use some tricks, some techniques
to get through our speech impediments. What do actually do by that? We get through speech
impediments. There might be many tricks, again techniques how to do that. It can be like rhythmical
speaking. It can be putting some vowel sound before you say it like
a-he is - a - very - a - good.
It can be using devices, using applications that help you get through speech
impediments but the point we're not affecting the programs, the software with these tricks
and techniques. And we do want to get inside to that code and to change that actually.
The third capacity that we want to talk about, reveal and see, it's not just a pattern. It's
not an automated pattern; it's bigger and stronger than a pattern because it's a state.
Now, what's the difference between a pattern or automated pattern and a state? Imagine
tomorrow you're giving a speech, you'll have to. What happens to you, you start thinking
about it and you have fear, you have tension. You start thinking how to avoid that and how
to hide your stuttering, so all those things will govern your thinking all the time before
tomorrow's speaking occurs or happens. And you might think every person would think about
it, will feel some anxiety about the public speaking. Yeah, I would agree but in our lives
these: fear of stuttering, avoidance behaviors, and desire to hide my impediment. These things
become more than just an anxiety. These things start to govern our behavior and how we navigate
through life. We start taking decisions based not only on like regular stuff: I want to
serve people, I want to have a family, I want to have friends, I want to do that...We start
looking from the perspective how can I avoid speaking. How can I avoid that word? How can
I hide it? That fear, that tension, avoidance - these things become roots of stuttering. They
support stuttering, so stuttering as something that we see in speech impediments, they're just
tiny top of that huge body. Again, the practical implication is that okay now I can say what
I want to say in a relaxing way, in a confident way. Okay let's try it in real life. No, no,
no, no. You see that internal no, no, no is your stuttering and each time you go like
no, no, no, no it takes a lot of courage and it takes a lot of wisdom to get outside and
take an external look at what's going on with me. And you might say Andrey what about breathing,
what about tension? Yeah sure, stuttering is an automated tension. Stuttering involves
impaired breathing especially for people with severe stuttering. So we should work with
our breathing, with developing the diaphragm. We should learn how to relax, how to say whatever
I want to say in a confident way but all these are exercises that we can do in a classroom.
When I talk about a state, stuttering as a state with strong roots; again fear, avoidance
behaviors, desire to hide it, it becomes a much bigger thing than an automated pattern.
Now the fourth capacity in which I suggest that we take a look at stuttering is a learned
helplessness. This concept came to the science after series of experiments done by Martin
Seligman and other researchers. One of the experiments, what they did actually
was they took three groups of dogs. One group of dogs were put in a cage or harnesses whatever,
so their freedom was limited and then they were released. The second group of dogs, again
the freedom was limited and they were affected by electric shocks but they knew there was
a way how to escape shocks so they should do a particular thing and they could escape
it, so they've learned how to escape those shocks. And the third group of dogs also were
affected by electric shocks but it was done randomly without any rule and whatever they
tried to do, however they tried to escape those shocks, they couldn't do that; they could
not escape the shocks. What the researchers found after some time of the dogs being in
those conditions, in those environments is that the first two groups when the wall was
lowered to the point they could just simply escape by jumping over it. They simply did
that so when they were affected by those electric shocks they just escaped. They didn't lose
the ability to escape the shocks, the negative impacts. And the third group of dogs they
just laid down, they whined, they didn't do anything to escape even though they had a
clear chance to escape. So this came into a concept and it's really interesting how
this inability to have control over your actions leads to this new state which is called learned
helplessness where you kind of don't even try to escape when you can escape. And the
practical meaning for us is that probably that's the core line of code in our program,
in stuttering as a program, as an automated pattern, as a state where we respond to the
speaking environment, speaking settings just we respond to live settings. So that tiny
line of code which says "I can't escape that, whatever I do I will stutter at some point."
And that's the line of code that we want to change to a different line of code which says
whatever happens I can come back to saying what I want in a relaxing and confident way.
That's what other people have because we all have glitches, we all have disfluencies
from time to time, repetitions, prolongations, whatever but we always have this feeling that
okay no problem, I don't care. Sometimes we even don't notice those because we don't care
because we know that we can escape it, we can control it, we can come back to our regular
speaking. So again this line of code, we need to change to a new line of code. And
with those dogs, how did they start to change that, to unlearn that helplessness? They physically
had to take those dogs and get them over the fence, do it like once, twice so that physically
show them that you can actually do it. That brought them that feeling back so they have
unlearned helplessness, they've started to learn their ability to escape, ability to
control the situation back. Now getting free from stuttering is a huge
separate topic. The very core of that getting free from stuttering again is we want to
grow a new type of confidence. Right now we are confident, that line of the code remember
it is I'm confident but I will stutter at some point. That's the core peace of that
program that forms that tree with those huge and strong roots; fear, avoidance behavior,
decide to hide impediments. The central piece of that is the confidence of inevitable I
cannot escape it, I will stutter at some point. We want to grow a different type of confidence
which is whatever glitch I'm having right now, repetition I will come back to my regular
confident and relaxing speaking; I'm able to do that.
So if you're watching this video inside the
Improve Program see you in the next video where we'll talk about getting free from stuttering.
If you're watching it on Youtube or on freefromstutter blog jump inside the Improve
Program for more exercises and for really doing something about getting free from stuttering.
Please also join Free From Stutter YouTube channel for more videos,
join Free From Stutter Facebook group for more discussions, for more experiences,
for sharing insights.
See you in the next video.
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