• Who detected cancer in their balls during a pregnancy test?
Can you take a dump in an envelope for science?
Here are 15 facts that could save your life.
15 – Ball Cancer Pregnancy Test • If a man pisses on a home pregnancy test
and the result is positive, he might want to get to the doctor straight away.
• Pregnancy tests look for elevated levels of beta human chorionic gonadotropin, which
is a hormone related to pregnant women.
But when men develop testicular cancer, they can often produce this hormone as well.
• There's other ways of checking for ball cancer though, such as regular fondling, because
a pregnancy test is not the most effective method for identifying it.
14 – Stabby McKnife • If you ever get stabbed - which we sort
of hope you don't - there's something critical to remember.
• Getting shanked would be a pretty unfortunate thing to happen, but if you do find yourself
with a knife lodged in your person, don't take the knife or object out.
If you remove the knife, you risk bleeding to death before the ambulance arrives.
• Sometimes the offender takes the knife with them though, so it's best to keep pressure
on the wound to avoid a bloody death.
13 – Life – Jack It • In the unlikely event of an airplane crash,
passengers should be aware of the safety procedures, especially what you need to do with your life
vest.
• If you've ever heard an airline safety spiel, they tell you not to inflate your safety
vest until after you exit the craft.
If water enters the crashed plane and you inflate your jacket early, you won't be
able to swim through the emergency exit and you'll be caught inside the sinking plane.
• Obviously this only applies if you're still alive after it crashes.
12 - Aspirin • Heart attacks can happen at any time,
and while you might be able to spot the symptoms, there is a household drug that could potentially
stop a person from dying.
• Taking aspirin is known to reduce, or potentially completely prevent heart attacks
by stopping blood clots in arteries.
It is used as a preventative measure, but can also save someone's life if they eat
it while they're enduring an attack.
• While Aspirin will help, don't forget to take the injured person straight to a hospital.
That part is kind of important.
11 – Sinking Car • We would hope that no one has to experience
this, but if you do find yourself in a car that crashes and sinks into a body of water,
there are certain things you should do.
• Immediately open your car doors as soon as you hit the water.
If you don't, the air in the car will pressurize and make it virtually impossible to open.
Your next option is to smash a window.
If those options fail, you'll need to wait for the car to fill up with water until the
pressure releases and you can open the doors.
• Assuming you don't drown first.
10 – Opera Wild Cats • Okay so this might not be the most scientifically
proven survival tactic, but it definitely worked for one lucky person.
• A woman who was once hiking in Colorado found herself confronted by an enormous mountain
lion standing ten feet behind her.
She knew not to run; otherwise the cat would attack her.
So her tactic was to belt out some classical opera music at the animal.
• The cat was so confused by the encounter it backed off and ran away through the bushes.
9 – Emergency Brake • Sometimes just knowing how technology
works can assist in saving a person's life.
• Most shopping centres, airports and universities will have escalators.
They're incredibly useful inventions.
But if someone were to fall on an escalator, would you know how to slam its brakes on?
Most people aren't aware, but there is an emergency stop button at both ends of every
escalator.
• The last thing you want to see is someone falling down infinitely moving stairs.
8 – Car Radiator • Like all machines, cars need regular upkeep.
But if you don't understand the basic functions of a car, you could literally end up in hot
water.
• Even if you don't understand how cars work, hell I don't, you should at least
know what to do if your car overheats.
If your radiator light starts blinking while you're driving, then pull over and turn
the car off.
Do not attempt to open your radiator cap for at least half an hour; otherwise you risk
having boiling water exploding into your face.
• Once the engine is cool, you can refill the water and drive it to a mechanic.
7 – Feel Yo Titties • Of all the ways you can prevent dying
early from cancer, this one is actually kind of fun.
• Once a month, ladies should check their boobs for any changes.
Including but not limited to: lumps, bumps, dimples, pimples, ripples, indents or swelling.
Get yours or a friend's hands and inspect every bit of your lady chest.
• Catching breast cancer early can significantly save lives, so if you find your Ta-Tas are
behaving differently, get a doctor to have a gander.
A medical gander, that is.
6 – Peggy McNail • This fact may not literally save your
life, but it damn well might save a trip to the emergency room.
• Some genius out there in the depths of the internet came up with a way to prevent
smashing your fingers when doing woodwork.
You get a clothes peg, you put the nail inside it, hold it to a wall, and hammer away without
the worry of destroying your poor phalanges in the process.
• It's the little things that keep you from losing your mind while doing housework.
5 – Dying Person Test • There is a very simple test that everyone
can do that apparently indicates when you will die.
• Brazilian physician, Claudio Gil Araujo, invented the sitting-rising test, also known
as the SRT.
It is designed to indicate how unhealthy people are based on their ability to sit down on
a floor and stand up without using their arms or knees.
• Based on your ability to get up with ease, Araujo suggests this is a massive indicator
of your overall health and therefore how much longer you can expect to live.
4 – Jellyfish Wee • We all know the rumour that if a jellyfish
stings you, you should take a steaming hot piss on the wound.
• The fact is though; urine isn't that helpful, if it helps at all.
The worst thing you can put on a jellyfish sting is fresh water, and if your pee isn't
salty enough, it will just agitate the nematocysts into releasing even more venom into your wound.
Saltwater or vinegar is significantly more effective.
• You might not have vinegar on you at the seaside, but there should be plenty of seawater.
You know.
In the sea.
3 – Seizure Etiquette • Epileptic fits are pretty scary to watch,
let alone endure.
If someone starts having a seizure in front of you, remember these things:
• They usually only last between 60 and 90 seconds.
Make sure the space around the person is clear, they might jerk around a lot.
Try to lean the person on their side, so their saliva doesn't choke them.
Don't shove your fingers in their mouth unless you're dislodging vomit.
• After a fit, people usually have no memory of what happened, so stay and comfort them.
People can't help inducing seizures, but you can help them.
2 – Carry a Stiff • Just say there is a zombie apocalypse
one day and you need to save your tall, bulky friend's life, but your friend has fainted
– how are you going to get them to safety?
• Apparently there is an easy way to lift someone who is heavier than you.
Sit them up, pull the person's arm over your shoulder, crouch down and with their
body pushed again you, thrust your body upwards using your legs.
• I'm sure it would take some practice, but there is still a little bit of time before
the zombie apocalypse starts.
1 – Shit in the Mail • People who are older than 50 are statistically
more likely to contract bowel cancer.
• In certain countries like Australia, there is a brilliant initiative to screen people
for the disease from the comfort of their own home.
All they have to do is shit onto a few sheets of paper and then send them via post to the
nearest clinic.
Millions of stool samples are sent in the mail every day, saving people's lives.
• Who knew in the future we would be shitting in envelopes to detect cancer.
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