Donít Stay Single, Hoping For The Perfect One ñ Make Mistakes In Love
ìStay single until you find a man who ____.î ìStay single until you find a woman like ____.î ìWait for a relationship that ____.î
ìDonít settle unless ____.î ìBe alone until ____.î Itís exhausting.
We give ourselves so many rules, so many boundaries.
We tell ourselves to wait, to hold out, to never settle, to keep searching until we find the person who feels right,
who makes sense, who is exactly what weíve been searching for.
But sometimes I think weíve got it all wrong.
Weíre so determined to find the ëright one,í the ëperfect one,í THE one that we have it in our heads that getting close to anyone
else is wasting our time.
We firmly believe weíre settling for less unless the person we choose to let in is absolutely everything that we wanted.
But love doesnít work like that, does it?
Thereís a wonderful premise behind the idea of waiting for the right person to come along or ëstaying single until you find
whatís rightíóbut isnít that perspective also limiting?
Because how the hell will you know whoís ërightí for you unless you fall into relationships that donít work?
Into people who are imperfect?
Until youíve made some mistakes?
How will you know youíve found ëreal loveí until youíve lost it along the way?
How will you know youíve met your forever person until you date some crazies?
Until you go through hell with someone standing by your side?
Until you choose to accept someone elseís imperfections?
Until you learn and grow alongside another person, even if the relationship crashes and burns?
Love isnít linear.
There isnít this straight path to follow that leads to eventual, perfect happiness.
There are bumps and broken hearts, failed connections and moments of defeat.
There are times you fall in love with the wrong people; there are times you hurt the one closest to you.
Love isnít perfect.
And itís about time we stop expecting it to be.
Thereís something to be said for searching for the right person, for knowing when youíre settling or unhappy and finding your way
out.
Thereís something to be said for not giving your entire heart to someone who isnít giving you theirs,
or learning what you deserve and not being afraid to stand your ground.
Thereís something to be said for guarding your heart when youíre broken and not letting any random person come barreling in.
Thereís something to be said for waiting for the right person, for not entering a relationship until youíre 100% sure.
But thereís something to be said for making mistakes, too.
Thereís nothing wrong with dating people, with falling into relationships that donít always make sense but make you feel
something.
Thereís nothing wrong with giving your heart to someone who sets your soul on fire.
Thereís nothing wrong with believing in impossible love.
We have to stop limiting ourselves by thinking we canít find the ëreal dealí until weíre with this perfect, wonderful,
flawless person.
We have to stop telling ourselves that weíll we meet the man/woman who does and says and acts a certain wayóbecause as lovely as
that is, he/she doesnít exist.
We must, instead, search for the person who doesnít always say or do the right things,
but makes our hearts beat both wildly and calmly.
We must, instead, search for the person whoís willing to grow with us, learn with us, fight with us, fight for us.
Itís not about finding a perfect person, itís about finding something real.
And itís not about staying single until the right person comes along, itís about dating, falling in love, growing, becoming,
and eventually meeting that person somewhere along the way.
Itís about making mistakes.
So donít hold yourself back.
Donít tell yourself that you must be alone if youíre not in a relationship with the ëright one.í Donít tell yourself that thereís
this flawless person out there because thereís not, and youíre not either.
(Thankfully, right?)
Donít give yourself rules and guidelines and instructions for how to feel.
Just love.
Just trust.
Just fall into people and experiences and memories and laughter and donít waste away your life,
wishing you could have something or someone else.
Donít spend so much time analyzing love that you forget how to care for someone.
Being single is okay.
Falling for the wrong person is okay.
Not having found your ëforever loveí just yet is okay.
Making mistakes is okay.
This is love, thereís no how-to manual.
Just let your connections build, your emotions run wild, and your heart beat freely.
The ëright,í flawed, imperfect, wonderful person youíre supposed to spend forever with will one day cross your path.
And in the meantime, let your little heart be fearless.
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