Hey my Happy Shiny Puppies!
This is Melody Fletcher, Author of Deliberate Receiving: Finally the Universe makes some
freakin' sense! - which is an awesome book and you should totally get it if you haven't
read it!!
Anywho, so in yesterday's video I talked about my embarrassing run in with some… bleach,
essentially.
I don't think they call it bleach anymore, but whatever... hair dye… that was quite
uncomfortable for me to have on.
And because I was willing to put up with that discomfort, I had a manifestation of some
chemical burns on my scalp.
So, before I go on I just want to let you know they actually healed really, really quickly.
I'm totally ok; the manifestation was not for me to be in pain for days and days and
days.
The manifestation was for me to realize that I still had a willingness to put up with suffering.
I called it discomfort, and that brought up some questions in the comments section and
so I wanted to clarify.
I apologize for that because I really wasn't that clear in the video about the difference
between suffering and discomfort.
And so people were saying isn't a certain amount of discomfort absolutely necessary
and inevitable?
I would say yes, but not in the way that most people think.
We have to make a differentiation between suffering and discomfort, which I didn't do
in yesterday's video; so let me do that today.
So, suffering is when we are putting up with a situation that we don't want to put up with,
but even though we don't WANT to put up with it, we're putting up with it.
Because we think there's going to be some kind of payoff.
Now, sometimes, that suffering is not really that strong.
It can feel like discomfort, it can feel like frustration, but let's call that suffering.
So suffering at different degrees; it doesn't always have to "ARRRH!"; it can be something
like "argh".
That's what I was experiencing there.
I had another option, I could have told her to stop, to take the stuff off my head; and
I didn't, you know.
Normally by the way, when I go to the hairdresser I don't have any negative experiences, there's
no side effects.
One of the things that I did notice, which is going to be super interesting for the men
in the audience (laughs), one of the things I did notice is that if I don't wash my hair
the very next day then I do get some itching, so I realized I'm not going to do that.
I was a little reluctant to that at first because I thought it would kind of stress
the skin on my scalp, or back from my perming days, back in the 80's I used to perm and
then you're not allowed to wash your hair for several days.
Oh yeah, I was one of those girls, with the spiral perm and the bangs… the claw…
I noticed that if I don't wash my hair right away, like the next day, then my scalp does
start to itch; I do that because I don't want that itching.
Let's call that kind of discomfort suffering.
Yeah?
Where you are putting up with something in order to get some kind of pay off, and that's
not necessary.
At all.
Now there's a different kind of discomfort, the discomfort of being willing to feel what
it is you are feeling.
Not in order to get some kind of pay off, as in, this is going to be worth it, like
I'm paying a price, but more as in, being aware of what's actually there.
Now that is something that we do want to sit with because by sitting with it, by feeling
it, we're allowing it to dissipate.
What kind of discomfort would that be?
Let me give you an example from my own life.
It's actually something I wrote about on my blog years ago, but it's still the best example
that I have of how this works.
There was a time in my life where I used to get panic attacks.
That was many, many years ago and they were kind of horrific and not comfortable (laughs),
let's put it that way!
I was laying in bed one night and I hadn't had a panic attack in a long time, but I was
laying in bed one night and I got a panic attack out of nowhere.
I was safe, I was in bed, there was nothing happening.
I wasn't thinking about something stressful and a panic attack just hit me, seemingly
out of nowhere.
I am doing what I always do, fighting it, I'm tensing up, I'm..."I don't want this,
I don't want this; I don't want this!"
And I heard my guides very clearly say "Allow yourself to feel the fear; step into the fear."
And I was like "What?!
No, no, no I don't want more fear; I want less fear!!
I want to run away from this; I don't want to feel this!"
Basically, I don't know how long it took, it felt like it was hours, I was fighting,
I was fighting; I was fighting and finally, I was really tired, I was already in bed,
and I just kind of didn't have any fight left in me, and so finally I was like "Fine!"
And it's like I did a 180 and went "Ok, come here; just come at me!
Come at me bro!" (laughs).
I let the fear in, I sort of embraced it; I just surrendered to it and within seconds
(click of fingers), it was gone; it was gone.
So the next night, I'm laying in bed again and a panic attack hits.
This was obviously a sort of a teaching tool, yeah?
But because of the work I'd done the night before I wasn't as afraid of the fear.
So I went ahead and did, right away, what I'd been taught to do.
I didn't fight it; I just surrendered.
I relaxed into it; breathed and just surrendered.
And thought "Ok, I'm just going to feel it."
Within seconds, it was gone.
That was the last time I ever had a panic attack.
I already understood at this point quite a bit about energy, not like I do now, it was
sort of in the beginning stages.
It was incredible how the energy just needed to be felt and flow out.
This was not me putting up with the situation that caused me to be in fear and staunchly
going "I can take it; I can take it!"
This was me allowing myself to feel what needed to be... what I needed to feel, what was inside
me.
One of these is an inside out process and the other ones an outside in process.
And so if you are putting up with suffering from the outside in, that's a powerless position...
"I have to put up with this in order to get something, because I'm not powerful enough
to create this on my own."
The other one is: I'm going to let this out.
I always talk about it like taking an emotional poo. (laughing).
You don't have to let people shit on you but you do have to go to the bathroom!
And I know, gross, but this is going to stick with you!!
I love my poop metaphors because you never forget them!!
They make an impact!
Anyway... so hopefully that kind of clears that up for people who are like, do you have
to put up with suffering?
You know, there are things in my life that I just don't put up with anymore.
I don't put up with shoes that are not comfortable.
I used to wear really painful high heels all the time; I only wore high heels.
In fact it got to the point where if I wore flats my legs would hurt and now I don't wear
high heels anymore.
I know there are heels out there that are comfortable because I did end up finding some
and it's something that I no longer do.
Quite frankly, I would just rather go barefoot everywhere I go.
A few years ago I did a live event in New York City and I bought these...
I was wearing this gorgeous dress and so I decided that the dress deserved heels; beautiful
heels.
So I went and bought a pair of beautiful heels.
But I knew, like they were ok, but I knew they would be ok for like 20 minutes.
So I was walking on stage and I thought when they start to get uncomfortable, I'll take
them off.
I walked out on stage and I was like "Wait a minute, why do I have to wait for them to
get uncomfortable?"
So I was like, "Hey guys, you've seen the shoes, right?
Fabulous shoes?!"
I kicked them off right there, and everybody... (laughing), I think I got a standing ovation
for that…
Because I'm like "I'm not going to wait for these to get uncomfortable, you know?"
The point of it was like, look, the dress deserves shoes, you've seen the shoes, and
now I'm going to be barefoot the rest of the time.
And I was.
I have a very hard time not being barefoot when I'm channeling energy anyway.
I can't stand to have anything on my feet; that's the most comfortable for me to be.
I also… the whole thing I said about the waxing, that was a total joke.
I haven't waxed in years.
There are alternative methods that are not painful.
I'm not going to go into massive details here, cause it's not that kind of video; but let's
just say that there are other things that you can do to get good results that don't
require you to be in pain.
But what does that require?
It requires you, no matter what the situation is, to first of all, allow yourself to believe
that there is a better way.
There's a way for me to get what I want without a bunch of pain and suffering attached to
it; without me having to pay a price.
And then take it a little further; it's not just possible that there's a way, its possible
there's a way for me.
You want to open yourself up to that.
It is possible to look beautiful without wearing high heels.
If I don't really want to wear high heels, then I don't have to.
It doesn't mean that I can't look sexy and gorgeous, you know.
Because maybe that's what I wanted to wear the heels for…
It is possible to have a hair color that I want without burny, burny scalp.
It is possible for me to get what I want without having to pay a price.
And it's possible for you as well.
You just have to give yourself permission to open up to that possibility.
Bring that option in; even if you don't know what that option is yet, allow yourself to
believe that there is such an option, that you absolutely can get what you want in some
easy way.
And then as you open up to that, there may be some uncomfortable feelings that come up;
and this is the discomfort that you do want to allow, that you do want to sit with.
Hopefully I have explained the difference!
Let me know in the comments.
And once again I want to hear, what are you maybe still putting up with that you don't
want to put up with?
Or how has what I've explained here helped you?
What aha moment came out of it?
What's the most valuable thing that you've gotten out of this video or the other videos,
yeah?
The most important thing is that you TAKE UP SPACE IN THE COMMENTS!
I saw so many people say "Thank you for giving me permission to take up space in the comments!"
Take up space into the comments; you deserve to be there and I definitely want to hear
from you!
Ok, until tomorrow; thank you for bringing your light to the world.
And happy smooshy puppy hugs!
Ok, bye.
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