Talon: Oh Marina.
It appears as though the age of social justice is taking it's toll on you.
You're just not oppressed enough.
You see, Marina recently uploaded this video called "Do You Ever Feel Not 'Bi Enough'?
Q&A".
I have watched this video several times, and it became very clear to me that Marina is
struggling with her own sexuality.
And I am not suggesting she is struggling with her bisexuality, but rather, I suspect
that she is trying to talk herself into being bisexual.
Marina, I just want to say that if you only like cock, that is perfectly acceptable to
me.
Ohhh right that sentence would either be me mansplaining…
"I love the mansplaining.
I'm enjoying it" ...or sexual harassment.
"'This person just sexually harassed me!'
'I said I'm Hugh Mungus!'
'Yeah!
Yeah, that's right!'"
*Sigh* Let's watch the video.
Marina: I asked you guy's some questions on Twitter and Tumblr, so let's get into
it.
Were you scared/nervous about coming out to people - even people you thought would be
accepting?
I have no reason to believe my friends or even my family would be weird, but I'm still
anxious about sitting everyone down and being like, "I have news!"
Talon: I seriously wonder how that would play out for Marina.
Hi mom and dad.
I have been dating David for a very long time now, but I feel the need to tell you, despite
the fact I am not breaking up with him, that I enjoy munching on the odd rug as well, if
you catch my drift!
God, I don't think I have ever said something so awkward before in my life!
Marina: No, I 100% feel you on this.
I think it is a very unnatural thing to do because it seems like it shouldn't be a
big deal, but then it's like the biggest deal.
I mean you can just do what I did, and heavily hint about it for several years, and then
finally just make a coming out video to 70,000 people on your YouTube channel.
Uhhh, you could do that, or you could not do that because it's fucking terrifying!
Yeah, you could make a video saying you're bisexual, put it on YouTube, then never, ever
speak of it again.
Yeah, you could do that!
But keep in mind, that it's fucking terrifying!
And you don't actually know which of your family members saw it, or if they're just
ignoring it, if they have weird feelings about it, and they don't want to talk to you about
it, and they're just going to pretend that they didn't see it.
You don't really know until you talk to your siblings and you hear everything that's
been said about you.
I'm not talking about personal experience or anything.
Yikes!
Talon: Why are you on YouTube?
You'd be much more successful having your own reality TV show!
Oh I bet The Lobotomy Channel…
I mean The Learning Channel, would be very interested!
Marina: How do you deal with biphobia?
Talon: I am going to go out on a limb and say she doesn't.
Marina: For anyone who doesn't know, biphobia is like any thoughts or behaviours or things
said directly to you, usually things said directly to you that perpetuate negative stereotypes
or stigmas about bisexuality.
So it could be comments like "Bisexuality isn't a real thing that exists" or "When
are you going to choose dicks or vaginas?" which is an actual quote from the show "The
L Word".
Can we get something else?
Like this is all we have.
This is the best we can do in terms of LGBTQ representation, The L Word.
Because I would like to return this show, and it's terrible hairstyles.
Talon: So let me get this straight.
You defined biphobia, then talked about a TV show with it's only redeeming quality
being girls kissing girls, and this is how you answered to how to deal with biphobia.
And you felt no need to go back and actually answer the question.
Marina: My parents completely ignored the fact that I was bi.
They think i'm all straight now because they don't know i'm dating a trans girl,
but she's not really out yet.
That sounds really frustrating and i'm sorry that you're dealing with that.
Similarly I feel like um… this not trying to be a call out post for my parents who occasionally
watch my videos, but this is a call out post for my parents who occasionally watch my videos.
My parents haven't really talked to me about it at all since I made a coming out video
and they watched the coming out video.
Talon: Are you sure they watched it?
To me it sounds like they haven't watched it, or did watch it and don't care that
you're bisexual, or did watch it and are going into complete ostrich mode over it.
If this is bothering you this much, which it clearly is because you have done nothing
but talk about yourself this whole video when it is suppose to be a Q and A video, then
you should talk to your parents about it!
Marina: And for a while it was just this weird thing where i wasn't sure if they were going
to bring it up or not, and then they didn't bring it up.
So now, it's just kind of a thing that's there, but no one really talks about.
I don't even think one of my parents thinks that bisexuality is a real thing that exists,
but that's just a totally different story that I feel real weird talking about on here,
right now, at this very moment.
Talon: I know you said you want to do YouTube for a living in a previous video, but if you
ever decide to switch disciplines, I would not advise you pursue a career as a counsellor
because you'd be very bad at it!
I am going to assume that the person who is asking this question is also a girl.
Yeah, I know, I assumed her gender.
Ohhhh how dare I!?
To the girl who asked this, if you do want to meet girls interested in girls, you might
want to ask someone who is actually into other girls, not one just pretending to be!
Marina: I don't really go out, so I feel like most of the queer and gay girls that
I've met have been at school.
So maybe just take a bunch of Women's Studies classes, or queer studies classes if your
school has those, because I'm sure there will be quite a few LGBT girls there, typically.
Which is just a really inexpensive way to find a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure.
Just a real cheap investment.
Talon: It always baffles me when people ask questions that could be answered far quicker
and more effectively by using this mysterious thing that our internet centric society seems
to be unaware of known as Google!
How can someone be smart enough to use Tumblr, but not smart enough to use Google at the
same time?
Oh right, they're using Tumblr.
Marina: When is revealing orientation relevant when you're in a committed, straight-passing
relationship?
Similarly, how do you keep a queer identity or connection to the queer community when
there's bi-erasure / biphobia?
Talon: About 5 years ago, I started a new job.
One of my first days I met a colleague named Jessica, and she essentially introduced herself
as "Hi!
My name is Jessica, and I'm a lesbian!".
Why she felt the need to make sure I know this rather mundane and unremarkable detail
about her life, I really have no idea.
But this question reminds of my former colleague.
"Hi, my name is Amber, and while I may appear to be in a straight passing relationship,
I have the uncontrollable need to tell you that i'm queer!"
Who cares?
And even if someone should object, that is their problem, not yours!
Marina: This is still something that's kinda weird for me to navigate because identifying
as bi is still relatively new-ish.
Generally if people are expressing attraction to other people, I might say like, ohhh this
dude is hot, or I think this girl is hot, or you know, whatever.
It's just kind of a low key way to be like "Yeah, I find all genders attractive".
Um, but at the same time I do know that there a lot of straight girls who will express attraction
to other women, and it's not necessarily in "I find these people sexually attractive"
but I understand that these people are hot and I'm expressing that.
So it get's kind of muddled because saying that you find another person attractive, doesn't
necessarily mean that you're romantically or sexually attracted to them.
And it doesn't mean that the other person is going to interpret that as you being bi.
Because it's kinda just really casual and subtle and can be interpreted in many different
ways.
Like anyone can say another person is hot or attractive, and it doesn't mean they
want to date them or fuck them or anything like that.
So it's kind of muddy waters.
But I think if you express attraction to the same gender enough, people are probably going
to catch on eventually.
Talon: What I found interesting in this section, and the reason why I have subjected you, my
poor subscribers to such a long clip of listening to her, is not what Marina is saying, but
what she isn't saying.
I'm very interested in her body language.
Pay attention to the number of times she looks away from the camera, and to a lesser extent
her twitches and blinks.
Do you really believe that this is a person who is sharing with you her life experiences
or her true feelings on a subject?
Or is this a person trying to convince herself that she feels a certain way?
Honestly, I don't know how Marina feels.
Maybe she really is bisexual.
Maybe she fantasizes about having sex with women frequently, but I am not convinced.
Now I can tell you that this is undoubtedly something that Marina has struggled with,
and still does.
I am saying this as someone who has questioned and struggled with his own sexuality before,
so I understand where she is coming from.
Frankly, I feel sorry for her.
She is putting a huge amount of pressure on herself that she really doesn't need to.
You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, Marina.
Marina: I generally assume that most people that I don't know very well probably assume
I'm straight because I hangout with my boyfriend a lot.
There's no evidence otherwise, and that's just kind of the default assumption about
people.
I don't know, if it's a stranger, if it's someone I don't know very well, they probably
don't need to know what my sexual orientation is, because our interaction is so short that
it doesn't really matter.
And if it's someone I do see more frequently or I know better, then i'll assume it will
come up eventually.
So….???
Talon: I agree with what she is saying here to some extent.
However, I do not understand this persistent need to tell everyone details about oneself
that are unremarkable, and mundane.
Are they looking to score more oppression points?
But I also think part of Marina's ideology suggests that if you hide a certain aspect
about yourself, then you're ashamed.
This has always baffled me.
Why is the desire for privacy or discreteness akin to self loathing in Marina's world?
What ever happened to the concept of privacy?
Marina: Do you ever feel not "bi enough"?
Or like you don't deserve it and you have to prove yourself.
Struggling right now.
Talon: For a moment, I thought I had regressed to my 24 year old self who went full retard
and became a born again Christian after being an atheist for over a decade.
That's right, person who asked this question.
We all fall short of Francesca's, Anita's and Rebecca's grace!
Seriously, how is whoever asked this question, any different than a christian that is "being
tested" by "god"?
Are you trying to become a bishop in the church of intersectional feminism, Marina?
Marina: Yes…
Talon: Let's watch that again!
Marina: Yes…
Talon: Well, if I didn't know Marina was full of shit before, I sure as hell do now!
Marina: I honestly feel qualified to make this video right now...
Weyoun: He doesn't seem to like you very much.
We're going to have to do something about your public image.
Marina: … because I am sure I am going to get lot's of comments saying that i'm
dating a dude, and I'm not really bi, or I'm just trying to get attention, or something
like that because apparently bisexual people just always want attention and that's the
only reason they exist is to get attention from other people.
I mean obviously I do want some level of attention because I'm making a YouTube video on the
Internet, but me being bisexual has nothing to do with that.
I don't think the problem of not feeling bi enough has anything to do with bisexual
people.
I just think it's everyone else who's constantly making bi people feel like they
need to validate their sexuality, and prove that they're gay or bi enough.
I also even think it's necessarily bisexuality that we're expected to prove…
Talon: Let me ask you this.
Besides circulating a sex tape of yourself getting fucked by a guy and eating another
girl out at the same time, how exactly can you prove your bisexuality to other people?
Marina: It really depends on the spaces that you're in.
When you're in situations where hetrosexuality is the norm, you're expected to preform
hetrosexuality.
Whereas when you're in LGBTQ spaces, often, not always, but just based on my experience,
and a lot of other bi people that I've spoken to, their experiences, is that we're suppose
to perform same gender attraction.
I don't even think it's about being expected to perform bisexuality, it's being expected
to perform hetrosexuality, or homosexuality.
I guess, if that makes sense.
Talon: Do you hear yourself right now?
Seriously, do you hear yourself right now?
Because I am starting to think that I did something horrible in a past life and the
sheer process of making this video is me completing my penance for the atrocities that I committed
in my past life!
Marina: Because if people really wanted you to be bisexual enough…
Talon: Why do you care so much of what other people think of who you like to fuck?
Marina: … than simply being attracted to more than one gender would be enough, because
that's the definition of bisexuality.
I think it just comes from very binary thinking of you need to be one of the other.
Talon: So if you reject binary, does that also mean you reject binary code?
Better get off that iPhone 7 then!
Marina: Becasue so often bisexuallity is not a thing that people think is real or valid
at all.
Talon: And that is the problem of those who don't accept bisexuality as real, not yours!
Marina: So this is a similar question.
What would you say/what advice would you give to people who are pretty sure they are bi,
but have never been in a relationship with someone of the same/different gender than
them and therefore aren't entirely certain about how valid they are?
Talon: I would say 'Ask someone else!'
Marina: I would say that sexual orientation is about attraction, first and foremost.
Talon: Well thanks for that, Captain Obvious!
Marina: … and behaviour is more secondary.
Talon: Uhhh, What?
Marina: So for example, there are plenty of gay or lesbian people who know they're attracted
to the same gender as themselves, but may not have ever dated someone.
And it doesn't make them any less gay, it just means that they haven't dated anyone,
and that's perfectly fine.
So me for example, I knew I was attracted to boys since a really young age, but I didn't
start dating until i was fourteen, and I didn't start having sexual experiences until I was
eighteen.
But no one ever questioned if I was attracted to boys because as a girl, that is just who
I was expected to be attracted to.
Talon: Damn sexual dimorphism!
Marina: So even though I wasn't actively expressing my sexuality with other people
involved…
Talon: You're making it sound like you were having an orgie when you were 6 years old.
Damn, Onision must love this video!
Marina: It didn't make my sexuality less valid…
Talon: And the video just comes to an abrupt ending right there.
I know Undoomed made a video where she… uhh, interrogated, for lack of a better word,
her boyfriend, and I thought that one was painful, but this one was much worst!
Marina, should you ever watch this video, who are you trying to convince?
Your audience, or yourself?
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