My name is Robert Schneider,
and I'm gay.
When I came out I was 17 years old
I didn't want to come out and I thought that if I
was going to come out I was going to to be like the
Elephant Man of the town where everybody
looks at you and points and goes
"that's the gay guy over there."
Unfortunately I had to come out because
my mom and dad found that I've been
using the internet for other things
besides school research my father pulled
me aside and my dad's from Brooklyn is a
great guy and he looked at me goes,
"so you know last night you said you were gay"
and I said "yes" and he said
"that's a pretty big statement to make"
I said, "yeah" and he goes,
"are you sure it's not a phase?"
I said, "no I'm pretty sure it's not a phase"
"cuz it's normal to experiment"
and I said, "no I'm pretty sure it's not a phase"
and he goes, "cuz I experimented, a lot
you probably don't want to know this, do you?"
and I said, "no"
and he goes, "doesn't matter what you are
no matter what you are
I'm always going to love you."
I realized through that sense of humor
and through that jovial nature that he had
that I was going to be loved
and if I surrounded myself with people like him
I was going to be okay.
In 2008, California had a proposition on it's ballot
called Prop 8
Prop 8 didn't upset me as much as Prop 2 upset me.
Here was proposition 2 which got passed in California.
Prop 2 said that livestock and poultry needed more room
in it's cages before it was killed for food.
That got passed
people thought it was ok for
poultry to have more room to move which
obviously, yes that's a wonderful thing
but they did not think it was okay for
two men or two women to express their love
that wasn't okay.
The mindset that it's more important for
for animals to have some comfort in this
world as opposed to a certain sect of human beings
that really upset me and
that really angered me
this is not a bang on animal rights by any means whatsoever.
Prior to that, I sort of had led my life
with a little bit more discretion in
terms of introducing myself as a gay male
and after that I realized this is
ridiculous more people need to see us
more people need to know us
because if that's the case, hopefully if this
proposition wherever to come up again
people have a different idea and a
different lines of exactly who they were voting against.
I realized I really can't live in the closet
as much as I had been living in the closet.
Yes I was gay
yes I had boyfriends
but I wasn't leading with them
I realized it was time to lead with it
because like I said if they can put a face to what they're
hating against or what their opposing
I think you're a different ball game at that point.
A lot of my family is from the deep south.
They have very specific ideas and views
on how people should act how people
should think, feel and all that stuff.
And I was talking to some of my relatives and
we're telling that they start every
single morning by watching Ellen Degeneres' show
and that one of the their favorite television shows is
"How I Met Your Mother"
which stars Neal Patrick Harris an openly gay man.
Look at all of the positive images and of LGBTQ members
that we have surrounding us on a
daily basis and no one is talking about
Ellen's sexuality nobody's talking about
Neil Patrick Harris' sexuality.
Think about 15 years ago and think about how
we saw Ellen's face on every single TV Guide
and how when Neil Patrick Harris
came out a few years ago it was a big deal.
I think now what's so inspiring is we
don't talk about it anymore
we talk about their talent
we talk about what they what they bring to a project
what they don't bring to a project
and the fact that everyone in this country
regardless of what their religious beliefs are
can watch these people and laugh and
think and have a good time and there's
never any thought of "oh, who do they go to bed with at night"
That's very very inspiring.
"It" does not get better
because there is no such thing as "it"
what is "it?"
"It" is something that is intangible
you get better
and I get better
and he gets better
and she gets better
and they get better
and when we all get better
improving our own individuality
then we come together to fight
then we are "it"
but do not wait for some ambiguous thing
to come to fruition because it's never
going to come it's just not there
you can only worry about yourself
so if you improve yourself and speak
your truth and own up to who you are and
improve yourself on a daily basis
no matter what is going to be
then it does get better
because you and your friends
they are the new "it"
so improve yourself
take care of yourself
worry about yourself
worry about your friends
but improve you
because once we have an improved you
then we will have an improved "it."
If you do not look like me,
you need to hear this
if you have not walked in my shoes,
you need to hear this
I think we have a problem in this
country and it's a problem that is prevalent
which is I think we put a wall up around ourselves
we have a tendency not to look at what's on the other side
we like what's comfortable to us
we like what is known to us
we judge people and
we evaluate people through our lens
I think we've stopped putting ourselves in other people's shoes
I think we stopped looking at the other side of things
so if you do not look like me or sound like me
or talk like me or have my education
or have my professional experience
or have the relationships that I've had
you need to listen to me and I promise
I will listen to you in return.
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