- Okay, there, so you're here to vote?
Okay, here's your ballot,
your choices are Deez Nuts, a total racist,
or the guy who thinks their rent is just too damn high.
- I have decided in 2020
to run for President.
(cheering)
- To run for the President of the United States
you'd think that you'd need maturity, diplomacy
and a solid understanding of politics.
But as history has shown us, all you really need
is to appeal to a fervent group of people
or just have a hilarious name.
Stand and salute because here
are the 10 most ridiculous presidential candidates
in US history.
Number one is Lee Mercer Jr.
Lee Mercer Jr. Is an absolutely insane Democratic candidate
who ran for President back in 2008.
Mercer's website went into full detail
on the hard issues concerning America,
ones that he was determined to prove existed
and then fix.
These important issues included Governor William Perry
wanting to kill him and his family,
Jeb Bush being all in in his house of disease,
and proving that the government owes him
zillions of dollars in money.
These are obviously nonsense claims,
but one of the best was that he wanted to prove
that the US had two governments
called Government Number One and you guessed it,
Government Number Two, and that he himself
already owns Government Number One.
Mercer ran again in 2016 stating that he wanted to install
a computerized government that he invented
that can run everything.
He truly believes that by digitally analyzing
recorded information about a government,
that he can create a computer version of that government.
The new computerized government overlords
will be used to sue the original American government
along with other governments of the world.
Well sign me up!
Number two is George Wallace.
George Wallace was a US Democrat
who served as the Governor of Alabama for four total terms
between the years of 1963 and 1987.
He was also a blatant racist who strongly supported
the segregation of black and whites in society.
On June 11th, 1963, he stood in the doorway
of the University of Alabama to physically block
black students from enrolling.
In 1968, he run as an Independent candidate for President
but lost to Richard Nixon,
but alarmingly, he received a surprisingly large amount
of support from racist groups and the public.
But he decided to tone down his prejudices
and ran for the Democratic Party's Presidential candidacy
in the following election.
On May 15th, 1972, a man named Arthur Bremer
attempted to assassinate Wallace by shooting him five times,
but Wallace actually survived and became paralyzed
and ended up losing the 1972 election.
In the years leading up to his death
on September 13th, 1998,
he renounced all of his previously held racist beliefs
and asked African-Americans for their forgiveness.
Oh really?
That's how you think racism works?
You just live your whole life just hatin' on black people
and then, all of a sudden, right before you die,
just right before, you just gonna be like,
"I love black people!"
Yeah, doesn't work like that.
Sorry, bruh.
Number three is Cynthia McKinney.
Cynthia McKinney was a Democratic Party member
who represented Georgia
in the United States House of Representatives
for six terms before she ran for the Oval Office
under the Green Party in the 2008 election.
McKinney's political history prior to 2008
was pretty odd, as she had tried to pass an act
that would release the official documents
detailing Tupac Shakur's death,
she's a 9/11 truther, and she once punched
a Capitol police officer.
McKinney also held a press conference
after Hurricane Katrina stating that she had information
from anonymous insiders that 5,000 people
were executed and dumped into a swamp in Louisiana.
Supposedly all this data was hidden somewhere
on a Pentagon computer.
Unsurprisingly, crazy McKinney only received
0.12% of the total vote for the Presidency.
Her failure streak continued when she ran
for her old job in the House of Representatives in 2012,
but never received enough support
to even get on the ballot.
If you elect me, I'll tell you where Tupac and Biggie are,
they're my homies.
Number four is Mike Gravel.
Mike Gravel is a former Democratic Senator from Alaska
who attempted to secure the party's nomination
for President in 2006.
He managed to gain some attention due to his overly intense
and amusing nature at the televised Democratic debates
in 2007.
But he also released two strange videos on the internet
titled Rock and Fire.
Both were supposedly avant garde artistic videos
created with the help of two teachers
from the Otis College of Art and Design in Los Angeles.
Rock involves him silently staring into the camera
for a full minute, only to walk away
and throw a large rock in a pond.
Oh, but Fire is way more complicated.
It's literally just footage of him at a fire.
And then a long shot of the fire,
almost for eight minutes long.
After failing to get the nomination,
Gravel decided to switch to the Libertarian Party
and run for the Presidential nomination in 2008,
but yeah, surprisingly he lost that too.
Gravel has since retired from politics
and now works for a company that deals in marijuana products
which seems like the sensible progression
for a character like him.
Number five is Ross Perot.
Similar to Donald Trump,
successful American businessman Ross Perot,
who has a current net worth of $4 billion,
ran in the 1992 Presidential elections
as an Independent candidate.
Early on, Perot's campaign gained attention
and it gave him a fighting chance
against his major party opponents,
including George Bush Sr.
However, Perot's support began to wane
and he soon announced his withdrawal from the race.
He later blamed his exit on threats by the Bush campaign
to release fake compromising photographs of his daughter
that would have ruined her wedding.
Oh, but he wasn't done,
because he then jumped back into the race
and won back voters with expensive advertisements
and exceptional performances at Presidential debates.
Ultimately, Perot lost the election,
but managed to attain 19% of the popular vote.
He ran again in 1996, but hurt his own chances
after losing his temper in a debate against Al Gore
on CNN's Larry King Live.
He ended up losing
with only 8% of the popular vote this time
and his political career was over.
Number six is Joe Exotic.
Joseph Maldonado, also known as Joe Exotic,
is currently the director of the world's largest
private zoo for tigers and ran as an Independent candidate
in the 2016 Presidential election.
Joe opened his park on October 14th, 1999,
and has since learned to perform magic,
record music and was awarded Best Crime Prevention
by the United States Postal Service,
whatever that means.
Oh, but get this, Joe also has his own YouTube channel,
with tons of content including his own
self-produced music videos, live shows
and Presidential messages,
more than enough to convince any reasonable person
that he's a total nutcase.
I mean, who uploads videos to YouTube? (chortles)
In a campaign video for his Presidency bid,
Joe gets right to the important matters
by declaring that he won't cut his hair
or change the way he dresses.
He states that he's gay, has had two boyfriends,
has had kinky relations, tried drugs before,
is broke as F,
and has definitely never been convicted
of animal cruelty.
That's a really odd thing to add to the end.
"I have definitely never, ever
"been convicted of animal cruelty.
"Don't look into the past, never happened.
"Everything's good, vote for me!"
Number seven is Jimmy McMillan.
James Jimmy McMillan is an American politician
and the chairman of The Rent is Too Damn High Party
who ran for the Republican primaries
in the 2012 Presidential election.
McMillan's history includes serving in the Vietnam War,
stripping, acting as a private investigator
and being a karate expert.
During his campaign he teamed up with loony candidate
and politician satirist Vermin Love Supreme
and each vowed to be the other's running mate.
Unfortunately, the Republican Party
did not take McMillan's entry seriously,
avoiding inviting him to the debates altogether,
or even putting him on the ballot.
Over the course of his campaign,
McMillan's catchphrase of "Too Damn High"
became a popular internet meme.
And on September 13th, 2012,
he ended up abandoning his campaign for the primaries
and turned his efforts towards becoming Mayor of New York.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But on December 9th, 2015, Jimmy formerly announced
his retirement from politics.
This is probably a good thing for American politics
considering the amount of ridiculousness
coming from this one man alone was just too damn high!
Number eight is Jonathon Albert "The Impaler" Sharkey.
Jonathon Sharkey is an ex-professional wrestler
known as The Impaler who ran for President
as an Independent twice,
once in 2004 and again in 2008,
before running for the Republican candidacy in 2012.
When he isn't trying to become President,
The Impaler seems to spend his days
trying to win an imaginary contest
for most despicable person on the planet.
You see, Sharkey has received
two separate restraining orders from 16-year-old girls
and practices actual vampirism.
Yep.
But Matt, what does that mean?
It means that The Impaler drinks human blood
as well as cow and pig blood twice a week
because he likes it.
He says that if he were President,
he would ban abortions and teaching evolution,
but he does want to be able to torture, impale,
dismember and decapitate certain criminals.
You know what?
Let's just make sure that the military policies
and nuclear codes of America stay away from a guy
who likes torture and drinking blood.
Sound good?
Okay.
Number nine is Leonard "Live Forever" Jones.
Leonard Jones was a wealthy landowner in the 1800s
who was genuinely convinced by a strange man
that he was immortal.
Jones began a political career running for the Presidency
on many occasions between 1840 and 1860
with his main position being, well,
that he was freaking immortal.
According to Jones, anyone could achieve immortality
just like him.
All they had to do was eat and drink very little
and pray all the time.
If you didn't, ah, you'd catch a bad case of mortality.
Even though no one took him seriously,
crowds enjoyed watching his zealous speeches
and his opponents found him to be completely mad,
but otherwise entertaining.
He claimed that President Lincoln's assassination
was a punishment from God for not voting
him in as President.
But then, shockingly, in 1868,
Jones caught pneumonia, which could have been treated
had he not believed that he was immortal.
He died on August 30th.
And number 10 is Deez Nuts.
Oh, you know this had to be on the list.
Deez Nuts was the name
of a third party Presidential candidate
who ran in the 2016 elections.
Despite his hilariously ridiculous
and kind of awesome name,
August 2015 polls run in Minnesota, Iowa
and North Carolina gave him 8-9% of the popular vote.
Impressively, the Nuts campaign platform
included some actual substance and supported things
like tax cuts for companies using renewable energy,
legal abortion, same-sex marriage,
and voting rights for America's overseas territories.
So, who was behind this joke candidate
that ended up winning the rebel vote?
Believe it or not, it was a 15-year-old
high school student from Wallingford, Iowa
named Brady Olson, who filled out a candidate form
and started getting the best polling numbers
for an Independent since Ross Perot in 1996.
But even if Deez Nuts had managed to win the vote,
Olson is still too decades too young
to be officially accepted for the Presidency.
And unfortunately, because of Nuts' success,
the Federal Election Commission
announced a future punishment for any funny
or disingenuous political candidate.
Sorry everyone, but there goes any potential
to see any comeback for Deez Nuts
and his possible future running mate, Dat Ass.
So, those were the 10 most ridiculous
Presidential candidates in American history.
Today's question is, what other ridiculous
Presidential candidates do you know of that have ran?
Leave your response below,
because I'll be reading through them
and I'm going to pin the best one to the top.
But as always, thank you guys so much for coming by today.
Remember to come back tomorrow and every weekday
at 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time,
because I'll have a brand new video for you.
I'll see you then.
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